Buttons and Pain Read online

  Fuck, that hurt. “Fine.”

  “Okay.”

  The deal had been set. She was mine again. She was mine until I ran out of buttons. “Pack your things and we’ll leave.”

  “Pack my things?” she asked blankly.

  “We’re going home.”

  “To Italy?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m not leaving. Crow, I have a job.”

  “I’ll give you money in compensation.”

  Her eyes narrowed at the insult. “I don’t want your money. I want my life.”

  I had work to do and business to oversee in Italy. “I can’t stay here.”

  “Well, I can’t leave.”

  This was a problem I didn’t foresee.

  “Looks like this isn’t going to work after all.”

  No, it was gonna work. “Pack your things. We’re staying elsewhere.”

  “What?” she asked in confusion. “I said I’m not going to Italy.”

  “And that’s fine. But you aren’t staying here.”

  “Crow, I live here.”

  “Not anymore. Now do as I say.”

  “What makes you think I’m ever going to listen to you?” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared me down. That fire I loved was bright in her eyes.

  “I’m not fucking you in that bed.” I wasn’t going anywhere near the place she screwed Mr. Park Avenue. I wanted a clean slate, a place where she and I could start over. “You can come back here in your free time but you’re sleeping with me every night. For the last time, pack your shit and let’s go.”

  Chapter Eight

  Pearl

  We arrived at his hotel room. It was on the top floor of The Plaza, and it just as big as a mansion. Floor-to-ceiling windows took up one wall and gave a brilliant view of the city. It had a full kitchen and dining set, laundry machines, a private pool, and several bedrooms.

  It was too big for a single person. “They didn’t have anything smaller.”

  Crow set my bag on the couch and ignored my comment. “Do you want a drink?”

  “No.”

  He poured himself a glass of wine.

  I couldn’t believe I was in this hotel room—alone with him. I couldn’t believe I gave into his demands. At first I didn’t because I didn’t believe he would really hurt Jason. But when that maniacal gleam didn’t disappear from his eyes I realized he meant every word.

  So I didn’t have a choice.

  “Help yourself to anything you want.”

  “Okay.” I already felt like I was back in Italy. The only thing missing was Lars.

  He finished his wine before he crossed the living room and stopped in front of me. His eyes were dark with longing, and he wanted to get down to business right away. His hand snaked around my waist and he pulled me into his chest. His forehead rested against mine and he closed his eyes.

  And he just held me.

  The innocent touch was unexpected, and I closed my eyes to enjoy it. His hands gripped me tightly, but were loose enough that I could slip away if I wanted to. His breaths came out deep and even, and he seemed to reach a moment of peace. “I missed you, Button.”

  The nickname brought me two months into the past. I remembered the last time we made love in his bed. He thrust into me with my legs wrapped around his waist, and he gave me passionate kisses that made my spine shiver. I fell hard for him in that moment. So hard I could never get back up.

  The emotion caught in my throat but I refused to say it back. I confessed my feelings and he walked out. Our relationship was never the same again. He viewed me as a slave, a piece of property.

  And I viewed him as so much more.

  When I didn’t say it back he opened his eyes and looked into mine. He searched for an answer in my expression but was unable to find one.

  I let my walls come down when I shouldn’t, and I got my heart broken. I refused to let that happen again. He coerced me into this, and I was only cooperating to keep Jason out of it. He was a great guy and shouldn’t be dragged into the nightmare that was Crow Barsetti.

  His fingers glided to my cheek and he felt the soft skin before he cupped my face. He leaned in and brushed his lips past mine, teasing me. Our lips never fully collided, just touched slightly. Then he went in for the real thing, fisting the back of my hair as he closed his mouth over mine.

  And I felt it. I felt that scorching heat and intense desire. I felt my body come to life like it always did when his lips were on me. I felt both alive and dead, existing on a different dimension that no one else could understand.

  Nothing compared to his kiss.

  He tilted my head back with a yank of my hair to get more of my mouth. He sucked my bottom lip slowly before he slipped his tongue into my mouth. A quiet moan escaped his lips as the passion burned between us.

  I moaned too.

  His other hand squeezed my waist, claiming me as his all over again. His fingers stretched to the top of my ass and he gave it a firm squeeze, pulling me further into him. He devoured my mouth with his wine soaked lips and guided me toward the bedroom in the back. His cock was rock-hard and pressed against my stomach. I knew exactly how it would feel once it was inside me. I would never forget that delectable stretching that sent me to the stars.

  He pushed me onto the bed then pulled off his t-shirt. His body was exactly the same as I remember. Lithe and toned, his muscles were long and exaggerated. His skin looked chiseled from stone, and his narrow hips led to a stomach harder than concrete. He was perfect.

  He unbuttoned my jeans and slowly pulled them down my legs. When they were at my ankles, he gave them a frim tug and pulled my ass to the edge of the bed. After they were on the ground he kneeled at the edge then kissed my inner thighs.

  I already forgot I hated him.

  My head rolled back and I gripped the sheets as I felt his mouth migrate to the apex of my thighs.

  But then I realized exactly what I was doing and why it had to stop. “Fire.”

  Crow immediately pulled his hands away and stood up. He took a step back, giving me more space than necessary. If I didn’t see the safe word he pushed me until I nearly broke. Nothing would stop him from taking what he wanted. But once the word was said he took it seriously. “What is it?”

  I sat up and pressed my thighs together. I was half naked with him and ridden in guilt. “I need to talk to—”

  “Don’t say his name.” The veins in his neck were thick like chords.

  “I need to talk to him.”

  “Why?” Crow kneeled down again.

  “I need to break it off with him first. This is wrong.”

  He bowed his head in irritation, his chest rising and falling with pent up aggression. “Didn’t realize you were so serious with him.”

  “I’m not. I wouldn’t even say we’re dating—just hooking up.”

  His jaw clenched tighter.

  “But I should give him the courtesy before I do this. He’s been so good to me and he deserves better.”

  “Good to you?” His hands moved to my thighs and he gripped them tightly. “Do you care to explain that?”

  “He was the one pushing the investigation. He was the one who told the authorities to look for me in Tuscany. He did this research and never gave up.” I would always be indebted to him for that. There wasn’t a single person on the planet who cared about me the way he did. He was the closest thing I had to a family. “So I can’t do this until I talk to him.”

  Crow released the tension on my thighs then pulled his hands away. When he bowed his head and remained silent, I knew he didn’t have an argument. He couldn’t disagree with my sense of loyalty. “Okay.”

  My lips still ached for his. I wanted the kiss to continue all night and the following morning. That was exactly the kind of affection and attention I craved. I missed the scorching heat of his body as it kept me warm during the night. I missed having my leg hooked around his waist as an anchor. I missed everything.

  “I need to
ask you something.”

  “Okay.” I met his look.

  “Did you sleep with him out of obligation?”

  The assumption stung. “Of course not. I did it because I wanted to.” That wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear but I wouldn’t lie to make him feel better. “Two months is a long time to go without some physical contact.”

  Crow looked away, clearly annoyed by the answer.

  “You have no right to feel jealous. If you slept with someone it wouldn’t bother me.”

  He closed his eyes in the form of a cringe. “Not even a little?”

  “No.”

  “Not after everything we’ve been through together? You wouldn’t feel a damn thing?”

  I cocked my head to the side and examined him with new eyes. “I told you I loved you.” The emotion entered my voice without any warning. I felt the words burn all the way out. My eyes watered with tears that emerged from nowhere and I felt the excruciating pain all over again. “And you said you didn’t feel the same way. That was when I understood you were never mine. That’s when I understood the true nature of our relationship. So, no. Crow, I don’t give a damn if you sleep with anyone.”

  ***

  I grabbed my bag from the couch. “I’m going back to my apartment.”

  He leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest. “Why?”

  “There’s no point in me staying here.”

  He slowly walked to me and pulled the backpack out of my hand. “I disagree.”

  I extended my hand. “I don’t care.”

  He set the backpack on the other couch. I could only get to it if I moved through him.

  “Fine. One button.” I wasn’t working for free. If he wanted something from me, he had to work for it.

  His eyebrows narrowed at my request. “No.”

  “Then I’m leaving.” He could keep the bag if he wanted it so badly. I had other stuff at my apartment.

  Crow realized he had to play the game or forfeit. “One button.”

  “Deal.” I extended my open palm. I wanted those buttons as soon as possible so this could end. I had to guard my heart tightly this time. Last time, he stole it without me even realizing it. I was in a better state of mind but I wanted to keep it that way.

  He fished the button out of his pocket and dropped it into my hand.

  Once I had the token of payment I walked to my backpack and placed it in one of the pockets. One down and twenty-nine more to go. We couldn’t have sex so I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to spend the night. If he planned on seducing me into sleeping with him anyway, he was going to be disappointed.

  “Have dinner with me.” He came up behind me and pressed his chest into my back. “There’s this nice place just down the block.”

  Once I felt him against me, my breathing hitched. With every breath his chest expanded against me. I started to count the number of times he took a breath. I used to do the same thing when he was asleep. I’d stare at his handsome face and count his heartbeats. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

  He wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “I have something for you.”

  ***

  Crow ordered the wine and our entrees before he handed the menus over. He wore a black suit with a teal tie. The color of his tie always concentrated against the other dark colors he wore. It was his signature move, making him stand out more than he already did.

  I couldn’t believe I was sitting across from him.

  Two months without a single conversation was a long time. When I first came to the city I felt alone. Living in his beautiful house with a care in the world was the most freeing experience of my life. Falling in love with a man who fixed me after I’d been broken was the only thing that put me back together. Without him, I would have been screwed up for the rest of my life.

  But I would never admit that to him.

  Weakness wasn’t my strong point and it was a side of myself I rarely showed. The last time I allowed it to happen, Crow broke my heart. I opened myself to him completely and said three little words I wish I could take back. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

  “You look beautiful tonight.” He stared at me with a gaze that was both intense and frozen. His eye contact never broke, and he stared at me with both hostility and interest. It was his form of intimidation—and it always worked. I noticed both he and Cane did it anytime they walked into a room. Perhaps it was a Barestti thing.

  “Thank you.” I didn’t give him a compliment in return because he already knew he was beautiful—and deadly. And he knew exactly how attracted to him I was. “How’s Lars?”

  “He’s good. Misses you.”

  “He said that?” That sweet man always took care of me, and he did so with a smile. He’d become an essential part of my life in Italy. I saw his face every morning and every night.

  “Not in those words. But yes.”

  “Well…I miss him too.” I missed everything about that place. It was a magical gem in the middle of nowhere. The vineyards were just as beautiful as the glorious sunsets over the hillsides. The smell of grapes always entered my nose when I opened the window in the morning. The food was always perfect but nothing could beat the company of Crow Barsetti. “How’s Cane?” He told me Crow loved me but that turned out to be a cruel joke. I hated him all over again.

  “A shithead, like always.”

  I chuckled at his choice of words. I never heard him say something like that before. “And work?”

  “The winery is doing well. We just had our harvest so that was a big project. My business with Cane is the same. We had a shipment last Monday that was a success.” He stirred his wine before he took a drink.

  “Any news on Bones?”

  “Cane and I have been trying to track him but he never stays in one place too long. He must know we’re after him.”

  “Who was that woman who snatched me?” When I left Italy and got on the plane I never called Crow to tell him I was okay. But then again, I didn’t have his number. I didn’t even have his address. There was no way for me to get in touch with him. And I had to admit, I was hurt when he never contacted me.

  “A bounty hunter. Bones dispatched a ton of them to find you.”

  I shivered involuntarily at the thought. That man was obsessed with me in an unhealthy way. I’d been gone from his clutches for a year but he still searched for me. “I see.”

  He rested his fingertips around the stem of his glass as he watched me. He examined every reaction that I gave, seeing the emotions underneath. “When I found them I killed them. You don’t need to worry about them.”

  He read my mind, like always. “You didn’t need to kill them.”

  “If I didn’t, they would have told Bones where they found you. It had to be done.” He spoke with no remorse, like it was just business. “I don’t mean to scare you but Bones will never stop hunting you. He’ll figure out where you are, and when he does he’ll take you again.”

  I covered my unease by taking a large drink of wine. I’d rather die than be imprisoned again. If I had to go through that torture again I’d put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. I lived through it once but I couldn’t live through it again. “I’m not going to live in fear. If that happens, I’ll kill myself.”

  That wasn’t the response he wanted to hear. His eyes narrowed in offense. “No. That’s not the solution.”

  “Then there is no solution.”

  “If you come home with me you’ll never have to worry about it.”

  I stared into my glass.

  “Button.” His voice came out gentle, the exact opposite as it sounded just a moment ago. “I’ll keep you safe. You have my word.”

  “Like how you kept me safe from those bounty hunters?”

  “I would have gotten you back. I was just a street away when you ran for it.”

  “Why didn’t you stop me at the airport?”

  “There wasn’t time. Airports have
strict security. For someone on the run, that’s the safest place you can be.”

  A part of me hated him for not stopping me. A part of me hated him for letting me go. His indifference hurt just as much as his cold rejection. “Why haven’t you contacted me?”

  “I assumed you didn’t want me to.”

  “But then you show up when I start seeing someone…”

  His expression didn’t change. It was just as cold as stoic as before. “For the past two months I’ve...been lost. When I sleep at night, I still stay on the left side of the bed even though you aren’t there. I stopped taking my meals in the dining room because you weren’t sitting across from me anymore. I still haven’t gone into your bedroom since you left. Lars had the window repaired but I haven’t checked. When I go to work I can’t concentrate. I kept telling myself this feeling would go away. But it hasn’t.”

  I held my breath as I listened to every word. It was a confession that I didn’t expect to hear. He actually felt something for me—whatever it was. He wasn’t indifferent to my absence. Our time apart was difficult for him like it was difficult for me.

  “Lars said something to me…and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. And then I watched your GPS coordinates obsessively. Based on your movements I figured out your routine. When you spent every weekend on Park Avenue I started to figure it out…and I couldn’t handle it.”

  I wondered what Lars had said but I didn’t dare ask.

  “I admit I didn’t approach you in the best way. If you shot me I wouldn’t have blamed you. But I was just so…angry.”

  “Like how I was when I saw you kiss Jasmine.” I looked out the window and saw her kiss him in the fields. Rage like I’d never known took me. I’d never been heartbroken like that. The betrayal hurt me to the core.

  “She kissed me,” he corrected. “And yes, that’s exactly how I felt.”

  “Looks like we’re even.”

  “No. Not even close.” Tension filled the air between us. It hung heavily in the air, reminding me how betrayed he felt when I slept with Jason. “I’ve never been jealous before. It’s not a good color on me.” He took a long drink to mask his anger.

  It wasn’t a good color on me either. “Why haven’t you slept with anyone? Two months is a long time…” Crow was a man with specific needs. If he didn’t unleash his dark urges it would consume him.