Buttons and Pain Read online

  The area between my legs burned with devastation and I had to force myself out of bed. I knew Jason was irritated with me because he didn’t walk me to the door like he usually did. I threw my clothes on and walked out without waiting for an explanation. If he was annoyed with me, I didn’t give a damn.

  ***

  I walked into my apartment and tossed my purse on the counter. I hadn’t been there all weekend because I always stayed at Jason’s. He had the bigger apartment and the second bathroom for me to put my things.

  I showered then got ready for work. The nice thing about my job was my wardrobe was casual. I usually went to work in jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled my flats on before I opened the fridge and tried to find something to throw together for lunch. But, of course, there was nothing in there. I couldn’t remember the last time I went grocery shopping.

  I grabbed my backpack from the counter and noticed something strange beside it. Two buttons lay on the surface, one bright gold and the other identical to a pearl. Gold metal crested the surface on the edge. They both caught the light, looking vibrant in my dull apartment.

  I froze.

  Where did they come from? Were they in the pocket of the pants I wore on the plane? Did I bring them all the way from Italy and they fell out? But how would they wind up on the counter?

  My blood turned ice-cold.

  There was only one explanation.

  Crow.

  Chapter Six

  Pearl

  I arrived at my apartment after work. The keys were in my hand but I didn’t insert them into the lock. My heart warned me what was on the other side. Somehow, I could feel it through the door.

  I knew he was in there.

  I stayed in the hallway and strengthened my nerve before I inserted the key into the lock. I had no idea what he wanted but I didn’t care. He would say what he needed to say then he would disappear.

  Unless he was there to capture me again.

  And remind me of the debt I still owed him.

  When my key was in the door it didn’t click. It was already unlocked.

  Now my heart kicked into overdrive.

  I turned the knob and walked inside, my keys still in my hand and ready to be used as a weapon. The lights were off and the apartment was dark. The city lights came through the small window in the living room.

  I quickly turned on the kitchen light so I wouldn’t be blind.

  A man’s shadow came into view from the living room. With strong shoulders and a formidable build, he sat in the chair in front of the TV. His fingertips rested on his lips and he didn’t move. He didn’t even turn to look at me.

  I didn’t need to see his face to recognize him.

  My heart pumped at full speed, and my chest immediately expanded from the deep breaths I was forced to take. I was nervous and scared, frightened by the man I thought was gone for good. But I felt the familiar excitement between my legs. The second he was in the room with me, my panties became wet.

  I hated him.

  “Breaking and entering is a crime, you know. I’m not sure how they do it in Italy.”

  He didn’t flinch.

  I stayed at the counter and refused to come close to him. He broke into my apartment to purposely catch me with my guard down. He wanted control of the situation. He wanted control of me.

  But I wasn’t going to let him have it.

  “Is there something I can help you with?”

  He slowly rose to his feet and stepped out of the shadows. In dark jeans and a black t-shirt, he emerged into the light. His five o’ clock shadow was prominent, and his dark eyes held more rage than I’d ever seen. He looked terrifying, but painfully beautiful. He stopped feet away from me, his thick arms hanging by his sides. He hadn’t changed in the two months that passed. His hair was the same length and his build hadn’t changed. The only thing that seemed to be different was his insanity.

  He looked livid.

  I refuse to admit I was scared. The situation was dire and threatening. His intentions weren’t clear, but they weren’t pleasant either. I held my ground and opened the drawer beside me. Inside was a steak knife so I pulled it out and held it on the counter.

  He glanced at it before he gave me a look of murder. “Drop it.”

  “No.” I kept my grip on the handle.

  He took a step closer to me. “Drop it or see what happens when you don’t.” He reached the counter between us and gripped the edge with his powerful hands. The veins on the surface protruded from underneath the skin. The muscles contracted and his knuckles turned white.

  I didn’t want to give in but I knew I already lost the battle. I tossed it in the sink. It made a cloud clatter as it bounced against the stainless steel. Once it stopped moving silence returned to the apartment. Only the distant sound of street traffic could be heard. “What do you want?”

  He stared me down.

  I held his look and didn’t give into the fear. I’d spent nearly a year of my life with this man but he still frightened me. Two months had come and gone and I didn’t hear a word from him. So why did he show up now? “I asked you a question.”

  He pulled his hands away from the edge and stepped around the counter.

  I moved the opposite way, keeping the counter between us. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

  “Don’t. Run. From. Me.” He moved around the counter, this time picking up speed.

  I sprinted to the bedroom and slammed the door behind me. My hands shook as I worked the lock. The adrenaline was coursing through me and I couldn’t keep my body still. I got the door locked just before he reached it.

  I stepped back and wrapped my arms around my waist. I felt the panic emerge and I couldn’t control my breathing.

  He was silent on the other side of the door.

  Did he leave?

  A loud boom sounded through the apartment as he broke down the door with his shoulder. In one swift move, he broke the lock and made the door swing hard on its hinges.

  Now there was nowhere for me to go.

  He clenched his fists by his sides as he walked toward me, that same angry look on his face.

  “Don’t touch—”

  He threw me on the bed and pinned my hands together above my head. He kept me against the mattress with his weight. His knee kept my thighs pinned down and he used his free hand to keep my hips in place. “Let me go.”

  “No.” His face was just inches from mine. He stared down at me with a heartless expression. He glanced my lips before he looked into my eyes again. “Who the fuck is he?”

  “Who?” I fought against him but he was too heavy. We were a year into the past and I was trying to run from my tormentor—before I fell for him.

  “The fucker who lives on Park Avenue.”

  How did he know that? “Have you been spying on me?”

  He squeezed my wrists together. “Answer the question.”

  “No!” I tried to knee him in the groin but he was too strong.

  “Are you fucking him?”

  “None of your goddamn business.”

  His eyes burned with rage because he could see the answer written all over my face. “Who is he?”

  “Jason.”

  His eyes narrowed in recognition. “The asshole that took your virginity?”

  “He’s not an asshole. He’s one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known. And yes, he was my first. Now get off me.”

  He moved further on top of me, constricting my wrists. “You aren’t seeing him anymore.”

  “Like you can tell me what to do.” I twisted my wrists so I could get free. “I’ve been gone for two months and you never gave a damn. You never tried to call me or get me back. You just let me go. I’ve gotten my life back on track and I’m not letting an asshole like you screw it up.”

  “You and I have a misunderstanding.”

  “No. You’re just an idiot.”

  He moved my hands further into the mattress and pressed his face closer to mine. My body automatically reac
ted to him, not recoiling but tensing. His breaths fell on my skin and it still smelled like wine. His cologne was the same and his lips were still kissable. “I gave you a break. There’s a difference.”

  “A break?”

  “You never paid off your debt. You still owe me.”

  “I don’t owe you shit.”

  “I beg to differ.” His hand moved to my jeans and he unbuttoned them. “You still owe me thirty buttons. Thirty.”

  “Fuck you, Crow.”

  He unzipped my pants and yanked them off my legs. “You’re about to fuck me.”

  My thighs trembled with longing and the area between my legs grew wet. I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me. I was terrified of this man and how maniacal he was, but yet, my body still yearned for him. “I’m not doing anything. I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

  He undid his own jeans and kicked them away. When he was in his boxers, he inserted two fingers into my panties and immediately shoved them deep into my pussy. The moisture flooded around him. “You still get wet for me, Button.”

  I broke eye contact for the first time out of humiliation.

  He pulled his boxers off then positioned himself between my legs. My hands were still pinned above my head and I was vulnerable to whatever he wanted to do to me. “You’re mine. Not his. Mine.” He pointed his tip at my entrance.

  Despite what my body wanted, I didn’t want this. I’d spent the last two months of my life getting back on track. I finally started to think about him less and look to the future. If I got swallowed up in this all over again I would be lost. “Crow, no.”

  He shoved his head inside me.

  My head rolled back because it felt good. But I still didn’t want it. “I said no.”

  That didn’t stop him either.

  I tried to think of the safe word but I was drawing a blank. But then I finally remembered it. “Fire.”

  He immediately stopped and pulled the tip of his dick out. He released my hands and moved way, pulling his boxers back up to his waist. He eyed me with the same anger but kept his hands to himself.

  I covered myself with the comforter and looked away. His eyes were too terrifying for me to look at anymore. “Crow, help me understand. Why are you here?” He found out I was sleeping with someone else and he grew jealous. But that didn’t make sense. He was the one who let me go to begin with. When I told him I loved him, he was the one who didn’t say it back.

  He sat up sat the edge of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees. “I told you.”

  “We both know I don’t know you anything.”

  “Quite to the contrary. I had to give up my revenge because of you. You owe me every single button that’s due.”

  “You didn’t seem to care for the past two months.”

  “I’ve always cared.” He stared at the ground, his shoulders tensed. “And you’re going to pay each one back.”

  “I’m not doing anything.” There was nothing he could do to make me cooperate. I knew he wouldn’t take me against my will or hurt me, so he had nothing to threaten me with.

  “You love this guy?”

  I refused to answer.

  “Do you?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does,” he pressed. “Now answer me.”

  “No.” It was slightly insulting that he assumed I could fall in love with someone else so quickly.

  “But I’m sure you don’t want him to die, right?”

  I turned his away, feeling the threat in the air. My blood ran cold at the insinuation. I knew Crow was a dark man, but this was a whole new level. “Excuse me?”

  “If you don’t work off the rest of those buttons, I’ll kill him.” He turned my way and the threat was in his eyes. He meant every word he said—to the last syllable.

  “Leave him out of this.”

  “No. He got involved the moment he touched you. And you aren’t his to touch.”

  “What the hell, Crow? You can’t have it both ways. You can’t forget about me for two months and fuck an endless line of beautiful women, but then throw a hissy fit once I move on with someone else. It’s childish, even for you.”

  “I haven’t fucked anyone.” He rubbed his knuckles with his thumb.

  “Like I’m supposed to believe that.”

  “Believe what you want, but when have I ever lied to you? We don’t lie to each other, remember?”

  Even after all this time I still trusted him. If he said something, he meant it. The fact that made me feel better just confused me. I shouldn’t care whether he slept with anyone else or not.

  “What’s it gonna be?”

  “What?”

  “Are you going to pay of your debt or not?”

  “No.”

  “Then I’m gonna kill him.” He massaged his knuckles while he held his gaze. “I hope you don’t think I’m bluffing. I’ve killed a lot of men. He’s just another name on a list.”

  “But you don’t kill innocent people.”

  “Innocence is subjective. He’s guilty in my eyes. He touched something that didn’t belong to him.”

  “I’m not yours.”

  “You’ve always be mine. And you’ll always be mine.”

  When my heart skipped a beat, I looked away.

  “I’ll give you a day to think about it.” He rose from the bed and pulled on his jeans. Then he walked out of the bedroom. “But if you screw him during that time, I’ll kill him anyway.”

  Chapter Seven

  Crow

  I didn’t handle that well.

  When I saw the GPS coordinate always spending the weekend at Park Avenue, I connected the dots and realized exactly what she was doing. She was sleeping over for the weekend then going home Monday morning.

  So she was sleeping with someone.

  Mr. Park Avenue.

  Fucker.

  I’m not sure what happened to me. All rationale thought left my mind and I turned into a psychopath. Red tinted my vision and the adrenaline saturated my blood to dangerous levels. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking and they kept balling into fists.

  Before I knew it, I was on the plane to New York.

  I shouldn’t have ambushed her like that, but again, I wasn’t thinking clearly. All I knew was I had to put an end to her relationship with Mr. Park Avenue. I had to stop it before she fell in love with him. Because if that happened, I would be too late.

  I was at her apartment when she came home from work. She obviously expected me to be there because she didn’t react when she saw me on the couch. She set her backpack on the counter and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “How was work?” I watched her stand at the counter in her t-shirt. It was tight across her chest and her slender stomach. It highlighted the deep curve in her waist, making her hips more pronounced. She was even more beautiful than I remembered.

  “Good. How was sitting in my apartment?”

  I loved it when she talked like a smartass. I found it oddly entertaining. “Good. I went through your underwear drawer. Nice selection.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You better not have. I’ll kick your ass.”

  “I’d like to see you try.” When she fought against me yesterday I was so hard. I wanted to pin her to the mattress and fuck her until she screamed. I’d never gone so long without getting laid. The withdrawals were killing me. When my fingers felt how wet her pussy was I almost ignored the safe word and fucked her anyway.

  At least she still wanted me.

  “Why are you here?” She left the bottle on the counter and walked into the living room. She wore skin-tight jeans that hugged her thin, long legs. I’d never seen her in jeans before. She always wore dresses at my estate. “Why don’t you just knock on the door like everyone else?”

  “You know why I’m here.” I ignored her second question. “What’s your answer?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her tits further together.

  If she wasn’t careful I’d
bend her over the couch and fuck her then and there. “Don’t make me repeat myself.” I rose to my feet but didn’t take a step closer to her. This time I would give her space. I went overboard yesterday. My feelings were haywire and I couldn’t contain my rage.

  “No.”

  I should have known she wouldn’t make this easy. “You think I’m bluffing.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m not.” It was unfortunate she didn’t believe me. “I’ll make it look like an accident. Accidentally slipped and hit his head in the shower. And when you move on and start seeing some other guy, I’ll do the same.”

  When she heard the sincerity in my voice, her fire died down. The strength that constantly coursed through her veins turned into a simmer. “So I’ll never be able to move on with my life because you’ll kill every guy I like?”

  “Exactly.”

  “You’re despicable, you know that?”

  “Yep.”

  She shook her head and stepped away, flustered. “Even if I work off those buttons you’re just going to keep doing this.”

  “No.”

  “Are you kidding me?” she snapped. “You flew all the way here the second you found out I was seeing someone. You threatened to kill him if I touched him again. Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?”

  “I told you I wasn’t a good guy. Not sure why you’re surprised.”

  “You’re better than this.”

  “Nope.”

  She released a growl of frustration under her breath. “So I work off the rest of those buttons and you just disappear? Because the second we’re done I’m going back to Jason—”

  “Don’t say his name.”

  “I’m going back to him once we’re finished.”

  That’s what she thought. “Yes.”

  She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Why don’t I believe you?”

  “When I have not kept my word to you?”

  She didn’t respond because there wasn’t such an instance. “I only have thirty buttons. That won’t last long.”

  “I’ll take what I can get.” Did that mean she was agreeing?

  “Alright. Fine. But once this debt if paid, I don’t want to see you again.”