Buttons and Pain Read online

  Buttons and Pain

  Chapter One

  Pearl

  “Oh, baby. Didn’t you miss me?” I cocked my head to the side and pursed my lips. My voice came out high-pitched and affectionate, and my disdain added a nice ring to it.

  Jacob’s jaw dropped when he saw me on his doorstep. Shirtless and with messy hair, he looked like he’d been hitting the sheets with some poor girl who had no idea her boyfriend was the biggest piece of shit on the planet. “Pearl…oh my god. You’re okay.” Once the shock subsided he pretended to give a damn. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried—”

  I kneed him right in the balls. “Save it.”

  He cupped his balls and leaned forward, moaning under his breath. He gripped the door frame for balance and breathed hard through the pain.

  “I’m sorry. Did that hurt?”

  He closed his eyes and gripped the frame harder. His knuckles began to turn white.

  “Try getting fucked in the ass.” I pushed past him and walked into the apartment I used to live in. All I had was the purse I snatched from that woman. I had a driver’s license and a passport and some Euros. But that was it. I opened the fridge and took out an old box of pizza. Since I was starving I ate a slice cold.

  A woman appeared from the hallway wearing nothing but one of his t-shirts. “Who the hell are you?”

  I gave her a quick wave and finished my pizza. “I’m Pearl, Jacob’s ex-girlfriend.”

  “He never told me about anyone named Pearl.”

  “Probably because he sold me into sex-trafficking to pay off his gambling debts.”

  Her eyes dilated but her reaction didn’t change. She glanced at Jacob, who was still hunched over by the door, and then turned back to me. She couldn’t decide if she believed me or not. I couldn’t blame her. The story was so ridiculous I couldn’t believe it actually happened.

  Jacob finally recovered from the hit to his balls and stood upright. His cheeks were flooded with blood and when he took a step he winced. I got him hard with my knee and he wouldn’t be able to get an erection for at least a week.

  I finished the pizza and left the box on the counter. It was the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten. But then again, I was just on a twelve-hour plane ride with nothing to eat but peanuts. “Damn, this is pretty good.”

  His girlfriend crossed her arms over her chest and stared at Jacob. She didn’t feel comfortable talking in front of me so she just glared at him. Like that would somehow get rid of me quicker.

  Jacob finally spoke to her. “Danielle, can I have a moment alone?”

  “Why?” I asked. “Don’t you think she should know you’re a cold motherfucker?” I leaned against the counter and stared him down. Now that I face to face with him I wanted beat him bloody. There was no trace of feelings or compassion for this man. All I felt was hate.

  Strong, furious hate.

  Jacob kept his mouth shut. He knew there was nothing he could say to make himself look good. It was best not to say anything at all.

  “Is that true?” Danielle asked.

  Now Jacob was being attacked on both fronts. “Baby, could you please give us a moment?”

  “No, not a moment,” I said. “Get the hell out. I’m about to castrate your boyfriend and I’m not sure if you want to see it.”

  “That’s it.” She headed to the bedroom. “I’m calling the police.”

  “Whoa, wait.” Jacob turned her away immediately, his body moving faster than the pain would allow. He cringed after the movement, feeling it deep in his groin. “Don’t call the police.”

  I smiled in victory. That was as good as a confession.

  “Then what the hell, Jacob?” she screamed. “Is she really your ex?”

  “Yes,” he said quietly.

  “Did you really sell her into trafficking?” she pressed.

  I grinned from ear to ear and watched him struggle. If he lied and said no, I’d put him in his place. And if he said yes, he would lose his the sexy blonde he was sleeping with. “Jacob, she asked you a question.”

  He turned his face toward me, and his expression was ice-cold.

  “Wow. You have a lot of nerve to look at me like I’m the bad guy.” Maybe when she was gone he would try to kill me. That would be the perfect ending. I’d end his life with a knife through his heart and take off. Could you try a missing person in the court of law? I don’t think so.

  Jacob’s voice came out more firm. “Danielle, can we talk tomorrow?”

  “Oh my god.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “You did it…” She ran into the bedroom and grabbed her clothes and purse. Without even changing she darted out in just his t-shirt. Not once did she look at him as she left.

  “Ouch,” I said. “Looks like you just dumped.”

  He turned on me, the fury in his eyes.

  I smiled because I loved that look. “What are you going to do, Jacob?”

  He gripped the edge of the counter. His shoulders tensed with rage. The bloodlust was in his eyes. He hated me for coming back into his life and ruining his relationship with the boobaclicous blonde.

  “Do your worse.” I learned a lot over the past year of my life. I was ruthless and resilient. Even though Jacob was bigger and stronger than I was, I could still kick his ass. And I would do more than that.

  Jacob seemed to realize it was a fight he couldn’t win. His hold on the counter loosened and his shoulders relaxed. “What do you want?”

  He wasn’t going to apologize or make excuses for what he did. He was just as cold as I made him out to be. That made the conversation easier—because there wasn’t any bullshit. “I want a hundred thousand dollars by noon tomorrow.”

  His expression didn’t change for the first heartbeat. Then his eyes narrowed to slits. “What?”

  I spoke slower, being as much of a smartass as possible. “A. Hundred. Thousand. Dollars. Do you need me to write it out for you?”

  “What the fuck? You think I have that kind of money laying around?”

  “I don’t care if you do or don’t. That’s what you owe me.”

  “Owe you?” Now that he wasn’t lying anymore I saw exactly who he really was. He was an emotionless fiend of the underworld. I’d seen a lot of different shades of evil, and he was by far the blackest. The villains who didn’t consider themselves to be the villains were the most dangerous kind.

  “You were paid a hundred thousand dollars for me to be a slave. I’m the one who did the time so that money is mine. Give it to me by noon tomorrow or I’m going to the police and telling them exactly what you did.”

  “Pearl—”

  “Don’t say my name ever again.” I didn’t like hearing it—especially from his lips. It was a name I hadn’t heard in a lifetime. The only one I was familiar with was one I’d never hear again. “You have twelve hours to figure it out.”

  “Look, I don’t have that kind of money.”

  “Not my problem, Jacob.”

  He threw his arms down. “I used that money to pay off my debts. You know that.”

  “Again, I don’t care. That money is mine. Give it to me or you’ll spend the rest of your life in jail. Choice is yours. I’m cool with either one.”

  He clenched his jaw tightly and his hands formed tight fists. He wanted to punch me in the face but that wouldn’t fix the mess he made.

  “And I’m staying here tonight. Leave your keys before you go.”

  “You’re taking my apartment too?” he asked incredulously.

  “Yep. I think it’s the least you can do after making me into a sex slave. Would you like to hear about it?”

  He looked away, finally ashamed. “I need to ask around for the money, alright?”

  “I don’t give a shit what you
need to do. Just do it.” I grabbed his wallet and keys off the counter and pulled out two twenties from his wallet. “You can knock this off of the total—and the pizza if you’re really a dick.”

  He stepped away, his shoulders tensed. “How did you get away?”

  “Like you care. Get your shit and go.”

  He walked into the bedroom and grabbed a bag full of clothes. He came back out and grabbed his wallet and shoved it into his pocket.

  “I need the spare key.”

  “You already have one.”

  “And I need the other.” I snapped my fingers for him to hurry up. I wasn’t sleeping there when he could walk in at any moment without me knowing about it.

  He glared at me before he opened the drawer and fished it out. He tossed it on the counter with a loud clank.

  “You can go now. If that money isn’t here by noon I’m going straight to the police.”

  He shouldered his bag and walked out. When he opened the front door I hit the last nail into the coffin.

  “Just don’t sell your girlfriend into trafficking. You know how that worked out last time…”

  ***

  When I was face to face with Jacob I utilized all my strength and didn’t show an ounce of fear. I never told him how much his betrayal hurt me. I never confessed all the gruesome things that happened to me while I was in captivity. I kept up the fight the entire way until I got what I needed.

  But now that he was gone I broke down.

  When I returned to the city I had nowhere to go. My friend Stacy didn’t live at her old apartment, and McKenzie had moved back to California. I didn’t know their cell phone numbers by heart and I had no idea what happened to my old phone.

  Jacob was my only choice.

  I stole his apartment because I had nowhere to sleep. I could have gone to the police and turned Jacob in. I would have gotten a free motel stay and maybe cash for food but that wouldn’t get me far. With that hundred thousand dollars I could start over. I could get an apartment and take my time finding a new job. I didn’t feel pathetic asking for that money.

  If you asked me, it was mine.

  I was the one who paid that debt. I was sold to a madman and I worked for every penny of the fortune people collected. It was only fair I got a cut after I gave up my body to the devil. I didn’t care how Jacob got that money.

  It was mine.

  Despite the fact I was back in America I felt alone. That Tuscan estate made me feel safe. It felt like home. I went to sleep every night knowing I belonged somewhere. Crow made me feel like a person rather than an object. He showed me the greatest generosity anyone had ever given me. He was in a situation where he could have done whatever he wanted without any repercussions but he never did. He always gave me a voice and a choice.

  But now that was gone.

  New York didn’t feel the same. It was more foreign than the country I just left. It didn’t smell of fresh bread and grape leaves. It was full of pollution and smog. Instead of stunning hillsides all I saw were billboards with half naked people on them. People walked on the streets every single day without knowing how good they had it.

  It was despicable.

  I couldn’t sleep in Jacob’s bed so I laid on the couch with a thin blanket. I’d lived in this apartment for a year but now it felt like a new place. All my clothes and possessions were gone because Jacob probably sold everything at a garage sale. All my pictures, my yearbooks, anything that ever meant anything to me.

  It was all gone.

  The second I closed my eyes I saw Crow’s face. I never told him what happened to me or that I escaped. The tracker was still in my ankle where he inserted it, so he probably figured it out on his own. He never came for me so I assumed he let me go. He didn’t expect me to pay off the debt.

  I was finally free.

  I should hate him for everything he did to me but I didn’t. When I thought of him, respect and longing were still in my heart. I confessed that I’d somehow fallen in love with him during our time together.

  And that was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.

  He rejected me—coldly. I locked up my heart and threw away the key. All I was experiencing was Stockholm Syndrome. He gave me a home and took care of me. He made me feel safe and valued. Afraid and alone, I latched onto him. But I forgot he was the one who kidnapped me. I forgot he made me sleep with him in exchange for freedom. I forgot all of that because he made me feel loved.

  I was so stupid.

  I wanted to keep sobbing because it somehow made me feel better but I knew it’d gone on long enough. An hour was all I would allow myself before I shut everything down and got my head in the game. A lot of bullshit had happened to me in the past year, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t get my life together. I could find a good job, a nice apartment, and start over.

  I could start over.

  ***

  After I got the cash from Jacob I went to the police department to take myself off the missing persons list. If they were still looking for me they were wasting their time—because I was right here.

  They questioned me about everything in the hope of getting a lead on the men who ran the operation. Sex trafficking was still a huge problem in the nation and the police were determined to put an end to it. I told them everything that I knew—except that Jacob was the one who sold me.

  I didn’t care about turning him in. He only did it to pay off his gambling debts and I knew he wouldn’t do it to another woman. The damage had already been done and I needed the cash more than letting him sit behind bars. Besides, I could always ask him for help and threaten to turn him in if he didn’t cooperate. For the rest of his life he would look over his shoulder and dread seeing my face.

  That was punishment enough.

  When I was at Crow’s estate the police came looking for me. At the time, I thought it was just Cane who tipped them off but that didn’t make any sense. If someone was looking for me, I wanted to know who it was. Maybe it was on of my friends and they could get me in touch with them. “Who reported I was missing?”

  The detective flipped through his notes. “Your boyfriend, Jacob, called us from The Caribbean and told us you’d been taken. A few months went by and the trail went cold. But then the trail picked up again when one of your friends found evidence to suggest this specific organization carried their prisoners to Italy.”

  One of my friends?

  “He insisted we continue the search there but we didn’t find anything. He was adamant about finding you. When I call him and tell him you’re safe and sound he’s going to be so relieved. That guy looked sicker and sicker with every month.”

  It was a he? I didn’t have a clue who it could be. “What’s his name?”

  “Jason.” He answered immediately like the name rested on the tip of his tongue. ”He said you two used to date in college.”

  The blood pounded in my ears and I stopped breathing for nearly thirty seconds. Jason and I ended on good terms but I never expected him to work tirelessly to find me. If I’d known that, I would have turned myself over when the police came to the house. I was touched in ways I couldn’t explain. “Jason…”

  “He’s a nice guy. If you don’t mind me saying so, he seemed to care a lot more than your boyfriend did.”

  No surprise there. “Do you have his number so I can call him?”

  “Sure.” He wrote it down on a piece of paper. “I need to call him anyway and tell him you’ve been found. You want to wait here so he can see you? I know it would really mean a lot to him?”

  “He’s in the city?” Last time I checked he was living in California.

  “He moved here shortly after you were abducted. When he saw your face on the news he got involved.”

  I still couldn’t believe Jason did so much for me. He was a great guy and it was a shame we broke up to begin with. Long distance relationships never work, and we thought it would be best if we stayed friends instead of going through a painful breakup.


  “So you’ll stay?”

  I turned my gaze away from the note in my hand. “Sorry…lost my train of thought.”

  “Will you stay while I give him a call?”

  “Yeah, of course.” Right now, Jason was the only person on the planet who gave a shit about me. Jacob never cared.

  And neither did Crow.

  ***

  When Jason saw me, his eyes immediately watered. The relief was mixed with gratitude. He stared at me for several heartbeats before he closed the gap between us and stood just inches away from me. He examined my face to make sure it was really me.

  I stared at my savior and felt the emotion catch in my throat. When I returned to the city I felt completely alone. I had to get money from the man who originally sold me and I had to sleep in his apartment. I didn’t have parents to care about me and I didn’t have any family. The fact there was someone, even a single person, made me believe I could really start over.

  “Pearl, I’m so glad you’re alright.” He didn’t hug me even though it was clear he wanted to. “I was scared we would never see you again.”

  “I’m glad I’m alright too. It’s nice to be back.”

  He extended his arms but still didn’t touch me. “Can I hug you?”

  “Of course.” He didn’t even need to ask.

  He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. The embrace was full of the kind of tenderness I desperately needed. Feeling a pair of strong arms around me was exactly what I needed to get back on my feet. It gave me hope. It gave my joy.

  “I have a million questions to ask but I’ll get to them later.” He pulled away and looked into my face with his blue eyes. He was exactly the same as he was years ago. He had a strong jaw with prominent cheekbones. His body was tight with muscle and lean from a slender build. Nothing had changed. “Do you have somewhere to stay?”

  “I was going to check into a hotel—”

  “You’re staying with me. I have a nice place over by Park Avenue.”

  I couldn’t refuse his offer. I would much rather be in someone’s home than a lonely hotel room. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  “Great. Let’s go.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and guided me out of the police station. Despite the fact he hadn’t touched me in years, the affection felt right. Like no time had passed that connection was there. He still cared about me and never gave up on me. And I was grateful I had at least one person in my life who cared.