Buttons and Pain Read online

  She rose from the table then stood a few feet away on the concrete underneath the swaying trees. Twilight was deepening into night, and the lights strung across the patio were blocking out the stars up above.

  I stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

  She extended her hand. “Dance with me.”

  I heard her command but didn’t understand it. The last time I danced with a woman was so long ago I couldn’t recall. But here she was, asking me to dance to sound of silent music. If it were anyone else, I would walk inside without giving her a second look. But that excitement in her eyes and that smile on her lips pulled me toward her like a magnet.

  I joined her under the steaming lights and took her hand in mine. My arm wrapped around her waist and I slowly guided her across the invisible dance floor. The movements came natural to me, but I suspected that confidence came from the woman in my arms. She wanted a dance, and I would give her the best damn dance she’d even seen.

  When she smiled I knew she loved it.

  I’d never done romance before, but here I was dancing with a woman I adored. I said those three little words I vowed to never utter, and I even bowed to her in the greatest gesture of possession. I’d never known this kind of happiness, and honestly, it was a little scary.

  It was scary because if I lost her, I’d be done.

  She pulled me herself closer to me and pressed her forehead to mine. Her eyes stared at my lips but she didn’t kiss me. Completely enamored by me, she was obsessed and devoted. She showed me her love long before she said it, and I loved seeing that look in her eyes.

  Something supernatural possessed me, and I suddenly began to sing quietly under my breath. My words were in Italian, and I serenaded to the woman in my arms. It was an old love song, something I heard in the village where I grew up. I was too young to understand love, and as I grew older I knew I would never have the privilege of feeling it.

  But I was wrong.

  Button pulled away slightly so she could look into my eyes. She listened to every word even though she couldn’t understand it. My voice was deeper than the man who originally sang the song, but she had no way of knowing that. I wouldn’t consider myself to be a talented singer, but I didn’t sound bad either. Her eyes watered slightly, and when the coat of moisture was present it reflected the white lights up above. They twinkled in her eyes like stars, glowing like the heavens.

  She fell deeper into me, so I kept singing. I watched her hang onto my every word without understanding it. Somehow, she knew exactly what I was trying to say, that I pledged my life and loyalty to her, and to her alone. I’d never kneeled for someone. And I certainly had never sung for someone.

  Only her.

  When I finished the song the same look was in her eyes. She adored me even more than before, and her love had no boundaries as it continued to grow. Women looked at me with infatuation and obsession. But the look Button gave me was different. It was more than superficial and physical.

  It was unconditional.

  I wanted to tell her I loved her but I didn’t. She didn’t say it either because it was unnecessary. We’d been saying it to each other since the moment we met—just without words. I knew I would love her for all my life—until the day I left this earth and turned to dust. And she felt the same way.

  Button stopped dancing and kissed me softly on the lips. “Let’s go upstairs…”

  I felt her soft lips against mine and my cock hardened. I wasn’t in the mood for serious fucking. I wanted to continue to dance together on my bed, to move slowly together to music only she and I could hear. My body wanted to combine with hers and make her mine forever.

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door. Our dirty plates remained on the terrace but Lars would pick them up the moment we were gone. Just when we approached the back door we were blocked.

  Cane leaned against the doorway with his arms across his chest. A smug grin was on his face and his eyes were diabolical. “You guys were so cute I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

  I’d never been more irritated to see my brother. “You’re interrupting us now.”

  He shrugged then stepped back so we could enter the house. “It was such a good show that I couldn’t stop watching. Nice pipes, by the way.”

  I should be embarrassed that he heard me. The teasing would continue for the rest of our lives. But I was going to give into his taunts. That song was only meant for Button. It was a shame he got to witness it. “What do you want?”

  “A conversation.” He turned to Button and winked. “If she can spare you.”

  “No, she can’t.” I pulled her closer into my side. “We can talk tomorrow, Cane.”

  “Come on, I’m already here,” he said. “It’ll just be a few minutes.”

  I wish I could kill him right now.

  “It’s fine.” Button leaned into me and kissed the scruff along my jaw. “I’ll be waiting upstairs.” She moved her lips to my ear so only I could hear what she would say. “And I’ll slip into something a little more comfortable.” She kissed my earlobe before she walked up the stairs.

  My eyes immediately followed her and honed in on her perfect ass. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to my brother at the foot of the stairs. I wanted to be buried inside my lover, my woman. When she was gone I turned on Cane. “What?” I didn’t bother hiding my disdain. I hated Cane in that moment and I wanted that to be perfectly clear.

  He continued to grin like a goddamn idiot. “That looked romantic.”

  I stared him down and kept my hands by my sides. They formed fists the second Button walked away, and I wanted to punch my brother in the face and break both cheekbones.

  “I didn’t realize you were the dancing and singing type.”

  I was about to snap. The only reason why I hadn’t was because Cane was my only family in the world. If he were anyone else, he’d already be knocked out cold. “Cane, spit it out. I have a woman to please.” All he had were expensive whores to do the dirty things he wanted. I had a woman who did them because she wanted to.

  “Have you thought about our last conversation?”

  “Cane, I never think about you unless I’m looking at you.”

  He took the insult in stride. “Did you tell her how you feel? If you haven’t, you may not need to. You made it pretty fucking obvious out there with that serenade.”

  “Your obsession with my love life is creepy, Cane.”

  “I’m not obsessed. Now answer the question.”

  These girly talks were getting old. At least if I told him the truth they would stop. “It’s not any of your business, but yes. I told her I loved her.” The words were out of my mouth and into the ether forever. I couldn’t take them back and I would never want to.

  A slow smile crept into his face until it was a full blown grin. “Good for you, man.” He clapped my shoulder.

  “Can we stop talking about it now?”

  “Sure. I’m just glad you stopped acting like a pussy.”

  “Me?” I asked incredulously. “You’re the one who kept pestering me.”

  “I just want the best for you. And I think she’s it. I know for a fact Vanessa would have loved her.”

  The mention of my sister made me sad all over again. Yes, she would have loved Button. My entire family would have adored her.

  “I’m sorry if my prying annoys you. But Ma isn’t around anymore and neither is Vanessa, so someone has to do it.” He shrugged. “I’m the only family you have left so it has to be me. One day when I meet the right woman, you have my full blessing to annoy the shit out of me and make sure I don’t fuck it up.”

  I finally smiled, and the action came easy. “We have a deal.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Pearl

  Crow came home at the same time as usual. He entered the bedroom wearing the same pristine suit he wore that morning, and he looked just as delicious as every other day of his life. His flashy watch was on his wrist and, and the tops of his hands were
corded with veins. Just the sight of him made every woman wet.

  He stopped when he spotted me at the edge of the bed. I stood in black lingerie, a teddy tight around my waist with my tits pressed tightly together, and black stockings that lead to a matching lacey thong.

  His eyes immediately darkened from mocha brown to the same color as my lingerie. Then he noticed the handcuffs dangling from my fingertips. Unable to hide his arousal, he swallowed the lump in his throat.

  After a pause, he yanked his tie off and threw it on the ground. He undressed himself with speed as he walked closer to me, getting every piece of clothing off before he stood in front of me, god and man mixed together. His body was a behemoth of muscle and his eyes showed the dark desires in his heart. His cock was rock-hard and ready to be inside me at the snap of a finger. “On your knees.” He immediately took control of the situation, becoming dominant and possessive. Lately, we’d only been making sweet and sensual love. But the need for a hard fuck quickly returned to his body instantly.

  “No.”

  His eyes narrowed when I defied him.

  “You’ve got the wrong idea.” I pressed my hands against his chest and guided him to the bed. When the mattress was behind his knees, I shoved him onto the mattress then crawled on top of him. “Sit up.” I held the handcuffs, ready to chain him to the headboard.

  When he finally understood what was really happening, his desire only deepened. The only thing that turned him on more than controlling me was having a woman powerful enough to control him. He did as I asked and rested his back against the headboard, his eyes locked to mine the entire time.

  I locked his hands through the bars and secured him in place.

  He immediately leaned in and kissed my neck, his tongue moving along the skin in a seductive way. His cock was hard against his stomach and he pressed it against me in anticipation.

  I left his lap and stood next to the bed and slowly played with my panties. I fingered them slowly, feeling the fabric of the lace in my delicate fingertips.

  Crow watched me, his eyes glued to the movement of my fingers.

  I slowly pulled them down my long legs then kicked them aside.

  His eyes immediately went to the nub between my legs, and his lips parted in desperation.

  I straddled his hips and rested my folds against his cock. Slowly, I moved forward and backward, dragging my lubrication down his length and to his balls.

  He pulled on the cuffs in an attempt to grab me, forgetting he was restrained. A quiet growl escaped his lips in frustration. “Button…” The plea was in his voice, his desperation to be inside me. He knew just how wet I was because I was smearing his entire length with it.

  I gripped his shoulders and positioned myself over him. “You want me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me.”

  He stretched his neck out and kissed the corner of my mouth. “I want to fuck you.”

  “Say my name.”

  He spoke against my mouth, his chest rising and falling anxiously. “I want to fuck you, Button.”

  I positioned my head at his entrance and slid all the way down until he was balls deep.

  “Fuck.” He pulled on the chains and tried to break free.

  Using his shoulders as an anchor I moved up and down his length. He was so thick and full and I wanted to give into my desire then and there. Sex with Crow was unlike anything I’d ever known. It was passionate, scorching, and delectable all at the same time.

  “Let me go.” He pulled on the chains again and nearly broke the headboard.

  “No.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened my thrusts. I pushed him entirely within me before I pulled him until only the tip of his cock remained inside me. Then I shoved himself me again, stretching me once more.

  “Fuck, Button.”

  I kissed his bottom lip and sucked it into my mouth. I gave him a playful bite because I knew he loved the violence. I didn’t make him bleed but I caused him pain.

  He breathed into my mouth and tried to fight the pleasure building deep in his balls. He’d come inside me so many times that I knew exactly what he was feeling as he felt it.

  I moved my hand between my legs and rubbed my clit aggressively, wanting to give him a show he would never forget.

  He watched me the entire time, his eyes darker than the underworld. He pulled on his chains even though it was hopefully. His hips thrust into me from down below and his neck became corded from the tension.

  “God, I’m gonna come.” I rubbed my clit harder and took in his length. The pleasure was building over the horizon and quickly approaching. I already knew it was going to be blinding and powerful. It would shatter me into indefinite pieces and I would never be put back together.

  “So. Fucking. Gorgeous.”

  I felt the explosion between my legs, and instantly, I was swept off to the stars. I dug my nails into his shoulders and screamed in his face. His name escaped my throat countless times and soon my mouth went dry.

  I kept taking his cock deep inside me and dragged my hands down his chest. I felt the sweat under my fingertips along with the muscle and strength. That orgasm knocked me off my feet and sucked all the energy out of my body.

  Seeing the pleasure on my face just turned him on even more. “Slap me.”

  I grinded into his length, moving him against my walls so he could feel every inch of me.

  “Slap me, Button.”

  I lightly smacked my palm against his face.

  “Harder.”

  I did it again, making me palm slap against his skin.

  “Harder.”

  This time I did it as hard as I could, making his face turned with the movement.

  He finally groaned, his eyes closed and the pleasure written across his face. “Again.”

  I hit my hand across his face.

  He turned with the momentum and his cheek reddened. He clenched his jaw and opened his eyes, the satisfaction deep in the look. “One more time.”

  I did it again, and I hit him even harder.

  “Fuck.” He tensed underneath me and filled me with his hoard of cum. The heat spread between my legs as the weight of his deposit settled deep inside me. I could feel the weight as well as the scorching warmth of his seed.

  It took nearly a minute for him to wind down from the pleasure and come back to earth. His cheek was red from the countless times I slapped him, and he seemed more satisfied than ever before. “You complete me.”

  I expected him to say something dirty or issue a command to release him, so the words caught me off guard. Sincerity was in his voice when he spoke, and it was just as sweet as the moment he told me he loved me. “And you complete me.”

  ***

  “Let me go!” Tears streamed down my face as I gripped the carpet. I dug my nails into the fabric so he couldn’t drag me across the ground. I was reaching for anything to get me to safety.

  Bones yanked hard on my leg and nearly broke it. “Shut up, slave.”

  “Stop!” I kicked my leg as hard as I could. I refused to be enslaved by this madman again. My life would be nothing but torture and pain. “Please let me go.”

  “Button.” Strong hands shook me hard. “Button, I’m here.”

  That voice fell on my ears and brought me comfort. Out of nowhere, Crow appeared down the hallway. He grabbed me by both hands and yanked me away, pulling me from the grasp of my captor. But I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t shake the terror.

  “Button, wake up.” Another jerk and the dream shattered.

  I sat up in bed and clutched the sheets. My eyes snapped open and I only saw the shadows of Crow’s bedroom. My breathing was haywire, and no matter how deep I took a breath it wasn’t enough oxygen. My body was drenched in sweat and my face was soaked with tears.

  “Button.” Crow’s soft voice came from beside me. “It was just a nightmare. It’s over. You’re here with me and you’re safe.” He didn’t touch me and kept a foot between us. His hands rest
ed by his sides but his eyes longed to touch me. “You’re safe with me.”

  The tears were still hot and my body was still shaking. Nightmares came from time to time, but they usually didn’t exist at all when I slept with Crow. It was unexpected, and that just terrified me even more. The sobs wrecked my chest and I tried to stop them before they escalated.

  “You’re safe.” Crow repeated his words to bring me back to earth. Instead of telling me to quiet down and gather myself, he was patient with me. He used to prohibit me from crying but not he watched my tears with concern instead of irritation. “I will never let anyone hurt you again, Button. You have my word.”

  I finally found the strength to speak. “I know.”

  He moved closer to me across the bed and wrapped a powerful arm around my waist. His touch was warm, not cold and calloused like Bones’s. He rested his face against mine then ran his fingers through my hair to soothe me. “You can talk to me.”

  The last thing I wanted to do was revisit the nightmare. I wanted it to disappear in the recesses of my mind where I couldn’t visit it ever again. Like it never happened, I want it to go away. “No.” The dream was already painful for me. It would only hurt Crow even more.

  “You’re with me now. Remember that.” He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and kissed the corner of my mouth. “He can’t hurt you as long as I’m alive. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded.

  “Do you understand me?”

  I cleared my throat then swallowed my tears. “Yes.”

  “Next time you have a bad dream, count back from three. When you’re done, wake up.”

  I looked into his eyes and silently asked for further explanation.

  “I used to have nightmares,” he whispered. “Counting backwards always works. Trust me.”

  “What are your nightmares about?” I shouldn’t ask the question but I did. I wasn’t in the right state of mind. Half of my spirit was still in Bones’s grasp. After I went back to sleep and woke up again I would be back to normal.

  Crow massaged the back of my neck with his fingertips. “Vanessa. My parents. The men I’ve killed. The things I’ve seen. Basically, everything I’ve ever witnessed in my lifetime.”