The Dictator Read online

  Her gasps became louder when she couldn’t tolerate the pain as well. Perhaps if she’d known how painful her first time would be, she would have listened to me and did as I asked. She yanked on the sheet and cursed. “Fuck.”

  I enjoyed hurting her, punishing her. I didn’t have the balls to hit her in the face. I didn’t have the balls to ignore her dead father. But I had the balls to do this, to sink so deep that my balls tapped against her ass. “Now you wish you had listened to me?”

  Her moans of pain got louder.

  I fucked her harder, my dick enjoying it so much that I wouldn’t last much longer. “Do you?”

  “Yes…” The sound of tears was in her voice.

  I rested my forehead against the back of her head as I moaned, getting off on the sound of her pain. She’d hurt me so much, made a fool out of me, and now I was finally getting some revenge. The best revenge I’d ever gotten.

  I grabbed her chin and directed her head back so I could look into her face. I saw the rivers on both of her cheeks, the puffiness under her eyes. She didn’t sob the way she had at her father’s funeral, but her eyes were wet enough that drops of liquid were stuck in her eyelashes. She bit her lips during the moments of pain, but that was just sexy. “Ask me to stop.” No way in hell was I stopping. But I wanted to deny her.

  “No.” Even in her pain, she was stubborn. Tears streamed down her face, but she refused to cave.

  I couldn’t take it any longer. Even though I wanted to keep hurting her, it just felt too good. This moment was an overload. I increased my pumps then dumped inside her with a moan so loud my hands went numb. “Jesus…” My cock throbbed as I dumped all my come inside her ass. It went in deep, where it would sit for a long time. I shoved my entire length in so she could take it all as deep as possible.

  I stayed on top of her until the effects of the climax completely wore off. My evening had been a nightmare, but fucking her like that more than made up for it. I was glad she’d defied me, glad she thought my dick in her ass would be easy to take.

  I slowly pulled out of her and headed to the bathroom to shower. I rinsed off and soaped my body before I got out and dried my hair with the towel. I didn’t bother styling it because I would just be going to bed.

  When I walked back into the bedroom, she was gone.

  The door had been left open.

  I’d expected her to try to sleep with me until I told her to leave. But this time, she left the second my back was turned.

  I lay in bed for over an hour but couldn’t fall asleep. I usually dozed off almost instantly, probably because I worked out so hard in the morning then stayed on my feet all day. But now I lay there thinking about the woman I’d just ass-fucked.

  I’d enjoyed every second of it, but now the guilt reached me.

  Did I really hurt her?

  Did she not enjoy it at all?

  Why did I care?

  I shouldn’t care.

  I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again.

  All I did was lie there for another thirty minutes. My mind wandered to work, my mother, and then it came back to Siena again—along with the nagging guilt.

  I finally gave up and got out of bed.

  I pulled on my sweatpants and walked to her bedroom down the hall. It was late so she might be asleep. If she was, I would just leave. I opened the door quietly then poked my head inside.

  She wasn’t in bed.

  I stepped inside and spotted her sitting on the couch while the glow of the TV hit her. She was staring at the phone I’d given her, reading something on the screen. She seemed fine on the outside, but she must not be if she was still awake.

  I walked into the room and announced my presence so she wouldn’t be scared. “It’s me.”

  She didn’t jolt upright at my unexpected entrance. She set her phone on her lap then looked up at me, indifference in her gaze. “Can I help you? It’s almost midnight.”

  I sat on the couch beside her and saw the news on the screen. It was on mute. She was probably watching something else until the show ended and the news came on next. She didn’t seem like someone who cared much about events around the globe. “Why are you still awake?”

  “Couldn’t sleep. You?”

  “Me neither.”

  Her makeup was gone, and she was in her little shorts and her tank top. Even when she was tired, she was stunning. The woman didn’t have to do anything to be beautiful. She was all natural. Whether she gave me a son or daughter, they would be gorgeous. She looked at me for a few seconds before she looked at the TV again.

  “Are you alright?”

  Her eyes darted back to me. “Do I not look alright?”

  “You left before I got out of the shower.”

  “Weren’t you going to kick me out like last time?”

  I didn’t give her an answer.

  “You’re just here because you feel guilty. You feel guilty for hurting me. Like I said, Cato, you aren’t the bad man you pretend to be. At least not with me. And that’s not a bad thing…if you would just admit it.”

  Never. “Did I hurt you?”

  “At the time. It took a few hours for the pain to subside.”

  The high I felt earlier didn’t return when I heard that admission. “Did you enjoy it at all?”

  “No,” she said honestly. “Would you enjoy something that big in your ass?”

  I tried not to smile at her sarcasm. “I warned you.”

  “Well, I guess I didn’t understand what it would be like.”

  “It was your first time. It always hurts your first time.”

  “Well, there won’t be a second.” She pulled her knees to her chest then looked at the TV again.

  “It takes practice. Don’t swear it off completely.”

  She turned back to me, her eyebrow raised. “You really think I’m gonna let you fuck me in the ass again?”

  “I don’t think you’re in a position to let me do anything.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m not afraid of you.”

  I wanted to tell her she should be, but I couldn’t. I was sitting on the couch beside her because I cared about her. Somehow, I always wound up in this position. I always wound up checking on her. “I want to ask you something. And for once, I want the honest truth.”

  Siena pivoted her body and faced me, ignoring the TV altogether. She wore a serious expression as she held my gaze. “Alright.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “I don’t understand the question.”

  “It’s not complicated.” I leaned back against the couch and stared at her, the light from the TV giving her a gorgeous glow. “If you could have it your way, what would you want? If you could leave and go home, would you still want me? Would you keep the baby? What would happen?”

  Her eyes shifted back and forth slightly as she looked at me, considering the question. The silence passed and filled the space between us. Her eyes flicked down for a second as she tightened her ponytail. “Even after everything that’s happened, I would still want to see you, Cato. I’m not just throwing myself at you in the hope you don’t kill me. I’m doing it because I genuinely want you. You think I would touch myself with your come if I weren’t insanely attracted to you?”

  My neck felt hot just thinking about that moment. “And the baby?”

  “Of course, I would keep the baby. I didn’t get pregnant on purpose, Cato. It was just a rare…miracle.”

  “Miracle? That’s how you describe it?” It was a nuisance to me.

  “In a heartbeat,” she said seriously. “I’ve always wanted a family. I didn’t want a family like this, but I wanted a man who wanted to be a father…and that’s you.”

  “That’s inaccurate. I don’t want to be a father. I will be a father because it’s my obligation.”

  She shook her head slightly. “Doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, you’re here—with me. That makes you a good man. It would be easy for you to kill me or have your brother do it. But
you don’t. You’re protecting your child without even knowing them. That’s what a father does.”

  She gave me more credit than I deserved. “Do you think I’ll be a good father, then?”

  She turned quiet, like her next answer wasn’t as good as the previous one. “Given your situation, I think that answer is obvious.”

  “Not to me.” I tried not to be disappointed by her answer, but what else did I expect?

  “You’re a crime lord, Cato. Our child will always be a target for kidnapping and ransom. They’ll be exposed to the kind of lifestyle I don’t want them to see. And if they follow in your footsteps, they’ll have the same empty existence that you do. I know the money inflates your ego, but we both know you aren’t content with your life. No, I don’t think you’re the ideal man to be the father of my child.”

  The answer wasn’t surprising, so I shouldn’t care about her opinion.

  “So if you had it your way, you would raise our son on your own?”

  She opened her mouth to answer but then shut it abruptly again. “I…I want to say yes, but I can’t. Because I don’t think I would ever deprive my child of the right to know who his father is. I would never keep you two away from each other…because it would be wrong.”

  I immediately thought of the pledge I made, that I would kill her once the baby was born. That was exactly what I would be doing to our child. I would take away their mother, depriving them of the right to know her. Maybe Siena gave the answer she did because of that reason…or maybe she didn’t think about it at all.

  I watched her for a long time as I gathered my thoughts. This conversation hadn’t been planned, and I didn’t know why I was asking her all these questions.

  She stared at me, her beautiful eyes reflecting the light from the TV screen. “My turn. What do you want from me?”

  I held her gaze without blinking, unsure what my answer was. “You know I want you.” There was no point denying it. Every action I took showed that truth. The second her lips were on mine, I caved. “And only you.” Bringing those women back to the house was a mistake. I wasted their time and my own.

  “Then let’s be together. I’ll move back home, and we’ll start seeing each other again.”

  “You know we can’t do that.”

  “Then I’ll live here, and we can start seeing each other again. No more pushing me away. No more pretending there isn’t something here.”

  That sounded good in theory, but it wouldn’t work in reality. “I know you don’t believe me, but when the day comes, I will kill you.”

  Her pupils dilated slightly, the threat clearly affecting her.

  “It doesn’t matter if I don’t want to. It doesn’t matter what we have. I’m Cato Marino, and I don’t let traitors go. If I let you walk away, the world will see me as weak. If I kill you, then my reputation will be amplified tenfold.”

  Her eyes filled with disappointment. “And that’s why you’re so miserable, Cato. Because you care more about power than what really matters. You’re just like my father…and you will die like my father. But first, you will watch all the people you care about disappear…one by one.”

  No other words had resonated with me like those did. She painted a picture in my head, an image of my ending. I did my best to stay ten steps ahead of my enemies and my allies, but it would be arrogant to think they would never catch up with me. One day, someone might be smart enough to take me down. When that happened, what would I lose? Only my wealth because I had nothing else I was afraid to lose.

  “If you do it, you’ll regret it. You’ll regret it every single day for the rest of your life.”

  “Maybe. But you didn’t give me another option.”

  “Forgiveness. That’s your other option.”

  I shook my head. “That’s something I can’t give you. Everything we had was a lie.”

  “And look at us now. We still want each other as much as we did before. In fact, we want each other more. You’re telling me you want to spend the rest of your life with dumb bimbos who want to do it on the staircase? Who only care about your money?”

  “You said I wasn’t your type—and you meant it.”

  “You weren’t,” she said. “Not at all. But things change…”

  “You don’t think I’ll be a good father, so why would you want to be with me? Being together would put you in the exact position you don’t want to be in. You would be living the life you ran away from.”

  She didn’t have a response to that. Her eyes shifted back and forth before she sighed. “I don’t know what I would want in the future. But for right now, in this moment, you’re the man I want. Maybe in a few years that will change. Maybe I’ll want someone else. Maybe you’ll want someone else. That’s fine. But if you kill me, we’ll never know. More importantly, taking me away is going to hurt our child the most. I would never take you away from them, but you would do it to me?”

  My right hand massaged the knuckles on my left hand as I was unable to come up with a response. “You betrayed me. You plotted to kill me, Siena. Let’s not pretend it was nothing.”

  “And let’s not pretend I didn’t turn that damn car around.”

  I turned my head and looked at the TV, not wanting to see the emotion in her eyes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t hurt you. Even when I’m pissed, I don’t want to hurt you. I make threats I wish I could follow through with. But when I kill you, it won’t be painful. I’ll make it as painless as possible. It’ll be over and done with in less than a second.”

  “How sweet…”

  I turned back to look at her. “I just want you to know this is real. It’s not a bluff. So if you’re just fucking me in the hope I’ll change my mind, you’re wasting your time. If anything, you should want nothing to do with me.”

  “I know…” She dropped her gaze, her voice turning quiet. “I know I should want nothing to do with you. Even when we were seeing each other, I wasn’t supposed to like you, but I did. Now I shouldn’t like you at all. I despise your business, and I despise your choices. I despise your lifestyle. I despise your stubbornness. But for some reason…I just can’t stop feeling this way. I see past your flaws and see your qualities like bright beacons. I excuse all your mistakes because I love your successes. I don’t seem to care about the bad because all I see is the good. I’ll never forget all the things you’ve done for me, things you weren’t required to do. And even though you’re a monster, I just don’t see you that way…no matter how hard I try.” She kept her gaze down and wouldn’t look me in the eye. “When I saw you come home with those two women…I felt terrible. I was jealous, heartbroken, livid. And I just had to do something, anything to make it stop. Watching you kiss her…made me sick to my stomach. Then I did something I never thought I would do. I agreed to a threesome just to fight for you. For any other guy in the world, that never would have happened. But with you, I didn’t think twice. My feelings for you don’t make any sense. Maybe it was because I knew you didn’t really want them anyway…or maybe not.” She stared at the edge of the couch with a blank look on her face. She didn’t seem to be thinking about anything anymore, just sitting there in silence.

  Now my feelings for this woman were even more confusing. I felt so many things for her but refused to share them out loud. Even though I didn’t trust her, I still believed her. I believed every word she said.

  At least, I wanted to.

  She lifted her gaze and met my look again. “I know you meant everything you said. But I still don’t believe you’ll do it. I know you better than you think, and I know you’re better than that. And even if I’m wrong…I would rather enjoy every day with you like I’m right. I would rather die not expecting it.”

  11

  Siena

  “I know how to cook a few things, but I can’t cook like this.” I sat on the stool at the counter and ate my lunch. Eating nutritious meals for the baby wasn’t difficult when I had a gourmet chef who could whip up any healthy meal. “The salmon is so tender
but so delicious. How do you do it?”

  He shrugged, but the delight was written all over his face. He loved taking care of Cato’s home, but the place he shone the most was in the kitchen. “Many years of practice. It’s not just about the preparation, but the source of the ingredients. I go to the store every morning and fetch new ingredients to cook with every day.”

  “Every day?” I asked incredulously.

  “Every day,” he said with a proud nod.

  “Unbelievable.”

  The kitchen door opened, and Bates stepped inside, wearing a full suit like he had a meeting with Cato. “Thought I heard voices in here.” He stepped farther inside with his hands in his pockets, and when he looked at me, there was obvious threat in his eyes. He hated me as much as he did the last time he saw me—when he punched me in the face.

  Giovanni stood at the counter across from me and chopped up the ingredients he was preparing for tonight’s dinner. “How are you, sir?”

  “Great.” He stopped at the counter close to me and addressed Giovanni without looking at him. “Cato was supposed to meet me here fifteen minutes ago.”

  “Must be running late,” Giovanni said. “He’s always so busy.”

  Bates leaned against the counter right beside me, invading my personal space, and he watched me eat each bite. He was so close, his cologne burned my nostrils. He was a handsome man like his brother, but he’d definitely inherited the evil gene. “Enjoying your luxurious lifestyle? Quite an upgrade for you.”

  “Yes, having my freedom taken away is a dream come true…” I should probably play nice with Bates, but I couldn’t stand him. He was a temperamental son-of-a-bitch. Even if he was just being loyal to his brother, he was over the top in his intensity.

  “I think you should be grateful. You’re safe in a mansion while you grow that baby.”

  “Until I’m shot in the head.”

  Bates grinned. “I can’t wait until that moment comes.”

  I turned back to my food and ignored him.