Divine in Lingerie: Lingerie #9 Read online

  I was worried about her too.

  She’d made her feelings for Griffin very clear, that she loved him in a way she would never love anyone else. I could hear the sincerity in her voice when she spoke, the way it cracked a little when there was so much emotion in her throat. I recognize the love in her eyes, because it was the same love that was in mine.

  I was happy Griffin was gone, but I was sad my sister was in so much pain.

  Muse and I entered the gallery, and fortunately, no one else was inside. The walls were covered with paintings, and I wasn’t surprised that most of them contained the man she loved. There was one image in particular that was too uncomfortable for me to look at. It showed him in her bed, shirtless with the sheets around his waist. I didn’t like to picture Vanessa with men, even though I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that she was a grown woman. It made me sick to my stomach.

  Muse glanced at all the paintings, and instead of being disgusted by the one I hated, she actually smiled when she looked at it.

  I grabbed her arm and gently pulled her away, not wanting my fiancée to look at Bones shirtless. The guy might be an enemy to my family, but there was no denying he was a handsome man.

  Vanessa came around the corner, wearing jeans and a white V-neck. Her dark hair was pulled back in a loose bun, and there was no denying she’d lost several inches around her waist. She was already thin to begin with, and she didn’t need to lose any weight. The scar from the gunshot was still visible on her left arm. Her olive skin contrasted against the white shirt she wore. It took her a moment to recognize us because it seemed like she was deep in thought. “Sapphire? Conway?” She blinked a few times before she finally allowed a smile to creep onto her lips. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “Wanted to see your new gallery,” Muse said. “And it looks amazing. You did a great job with it.” Muse moved in and hugged her, turning slightly to the side to get her stomach out of the way. She held Vanessa for a while, supporting her friend with a warm embrace.

  Vanessa hugged her back and let the embrace linger, clinging to it like it was exactly what she needed.

  I looked away, feeling my sister’s sadness sink into my bones.

  “How are you doing?” Muse asked quietly.

  Vanessa didn’t answer.

  Muse pulled away and rubbed my sister’s back, her lips pressed tightly together and her eyes emotional. When I’d pushed Muse away, she went to New York and tried to start over without me. She knew exactly how Vanessa felt, losing the man she loved. “Your paintings are beautiful.”

  “Thanks, Sapphire,” Vanessa said, her words hollow like a rotted tree trunk. She turned her gaze to me next, her eyes lacking the usual light they held. She would normally greet me with a sassy comment or insult me in a playful manner. But now her social skills seemed to be nonexistent. She didn’t know how to interact with people.

  I hated seeing my strong sister so crushed.

  I moved into her and wrapped my arms around her, holding her in a rare gesture of affection. We hardly ever touched, but whenever she was struggling, the protective side of me emerged. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to have everything she wanted. When that didn’t happen, it made me feel the same pain she felt. I held her against my chest and rested my chin on her head, my hand running down her back. I felt her breathe against me, doing her best to keep her emotions intact. “I’m sorry.”

  She turned her cheek against my chest, letting me hold her for the longest period in history. She breathed harder, like she was restraining the tears that burned in her eyes. Her arms remained around my waist, and she accepted the comfort that I gave her.

  Muse watched us, her eyes watering slightly.

  When Knuckles took my sister away, I was afraid I would never get her back. I was scared to lose someone I loved, and it made me realize just how much she meant to me. Now, I was even more convinced of my unconditional love because I felt so much pain listening to her try not to cry. “You’ll get through it, Vanessa.”

  I must have said the wrong thing because she pulled away. “You guys didn’t have to come by and check on me…even though I appreciate it.”

  “We wanted to see you.” Muse wrapped her arm around Vanessa’s waist. “We’re really excited for your gallery. And you have to show us your apartment. Your father mentioned that it was nice.”

  “He’s never seen my apartment,” she whispered.

  That’s what she thought. “Give us a tour, then we’ll grab something to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry,” she said automatically.

  “Maybe when we walk into a restaurant, it’ll get your appetite going,” Muse said. “That’s what usually happens to me…”

  Vanessa gave us a tour of the gallery before she took us upstairs to her apartment. Most of the furniture was the stuff from Milan, and she had a few extra pieces that must have come with it. I spotted the painting on the wall, another one of Bones. This time, it was of him looking across a cold lake in the middle of winter. It showed his broad shoulders and his thick arms but not his face.

  “It looks really nice.” Muse did her best to keep Vanessa in a good mood by being complimentary. She never addressed Bones or the horrible breakup Vanessa was struggling through. “And your commute to work is nice,” she teased.

  Vanessa cracked a smile, but it was fake. “Thanks. You guys want some wine?”

  “I’ll take some,” I answered. “Just water for Sapphire.”

  “Of course,” Vanessa said, cringing at her ignorance. “I wasn’t thinking…”

  “It’s okay,” Muse said. “Don’t worry about it.”

  Vanessa walked into the kitchen and gathered the glasses and water.

  I helped Muse onto the couch before I sat beside her.

  “She’s such a wreck…” Muse whispered so only I could hear.

  “Yeah…” It was worse than I’d thought.

  “I feel so bad for her.”

  “I do too.”

  “I wish there was something we could do.”

  “I think being here is all we can do.” Vanessa would have to get through this on her own. Right now, it seemed like the end of the world, but there was nothing she couldn’t overcome. She was much stronger than she realized.

  Vanessa returned a moment later with a bottle of wine, a few glasses, and some French bread with olive oil.

  I was surprised she had any food on hand since she seemed to have lost so much weight in a short amount of time. Muse and I sat on the other couch and faced Vanessa, seeing the heartbroken look in her eyes.

  She didn’t bother hiding it. There was a distinct hollowness in her eyes, an emptiness that couldn’t be filled without the passage of time. Her skin seemed sunken in, like she was dehydrated. Her clothes didn’t fit her quite the same, baggy around the arms and stomach.

  I wanted to say something to get the conversation moving, but seeing my sister so distraught erased my train of thought. I’d never seen her be anything but strong. In the face of serious danger, she had the nerve to laugh. She was younger than me, but I admired her in a lot of ways. She possessed Mama’s beauty but Father’s hardness. Our father let me get away with more things than her simply because I was a man. He was a million times harder on her, and not just when it came to boys and dating. When he taught her to use a gun, she was a natural, but nothing was ever good enough. He trained her to become a killing machine. When it came to me, he didn’t think I needed as much attention.

  Vanessa crossed her legs and poured two glasses of wine. “So…what’s new with you guys? How’s the baby?”

  Muse absentmindedly rubbed her stomach. “Baby is great. It’s been kicking a lot lately…mainly when I’m sleeping.”

  The corner of Vanessa’s mouth rose in a smile. “Perfect timing, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Muse said with a chuckle. “But I’ve been sleeping in late to catch up on the restless nights.”

  Vanessa shifted her gaze to me. “And you don’t have to suffer at
all…nice being a father.”

  I didn’t have to deal with morning sickness, sleep loss, or discomfort. I got to enjoy all the benefits, like making love to Muse and getting off on her pregnant belly. Hottest thing in the world. I thought I was only attracted to thin models who could rock the runway in heels, but I found my pregnant and waddling fiancée to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. “Pretty much.”

  “Got any names yet?” Vanessa was cooperative in the conversation, smiling when she was supposed to, but the hint of sadness in her eyes could never be erased.

  “No, not yet,” Muse said. “We think we’re going to stick to names that start with a C, though. Seems to be a Barsetti tradition.”

  Vanessa shook her head. “You don’t need to stick to tradition. The Barsetti last name is tradition enough.”

  “We haven’t put a lot of thought into the name,” I said. “I’ve been more concerned about the baby getting here and being healthy. That’s all I care about.” My eyes went to Muse’s swollen stomach that stretched her dress. Inside was the little person who would become my whole world. They already were my whole world.

  “The baby will be healthy,” Vanessa said with certainty. “And they’ll be wonderful and beautiful. Don’t worry about it.” Her eyes turned to Muse’s stomach. “I’m very excited to be an aunt, and not just to turn them against you.”

  I let her taunt slide. “You’ll be a great aunt.”

  Muse smiled. “Yes, you will be.”

  Vanessa’s smile slowly faded away, like a different thought was entering her brain. It must have been something about Bones, because that look of depression returned. “Are you ever getting married?”

  “Actually, we were thinking about doing it soon,” Muse said. “I’m getting so big, and I know once the baby gets here, we’ll be too busy and tired…”

  “You should do it,” Vanessa said. “Enjoy being married for a few months before your family grows.”

  I knew Vanessa wouldn’t be offended about us tying the knot. She’d never been a self-absorbed person, even in her darkest hour.

  “We were thinking about doing it on Saturday, actually…” Muse lowered her hand from her stomach. “My dress needs to be let out a little bit, but that shouldn’t take too long. We wanted to do something small, just a dinner at the house.”

  “That sounds like a great idea.” Vanessa raised her glass of wine. “I’m in.”

  “You’re sure?” Muse asked uncertainly.

  “Of course.” Vanessa took a drink. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m excited to have a sister. It’s much better than having a brother.”

  Muse smiled. “I just wanted to make sure.”

  Vanessa’s smile faded away when she understood the reason Muse was concerned. She connected the dots slowly, and then reality hit her. “If you’re worried about me because of what happened with…” She couldn’t say his name. She grimaced, like the formation of the words on her tongue somehow stung her. “Don’t be. I’m very happy for both of you. This is a really exciting time in your lives, and I’m very happy to share it with you.”

  When we told my parents about the wedding, they were both excited. Father was a little different, obviously upset over his shaky relationship with Vanessa. Muse made the plans with my mom, and together with Lars, they planned the dinner and the decorations. Lars agreed to adjust her dress so it would fit her just right, and I was left to wait around until the big day.

  That was fine with me. I didn’t care about planning a wedding. All I cared about was the woman who wanted to be my wife. Her dress would be beautiful, but it would be more beautiful on the bedroom floor.

  I was working on my laptop in my old bedroom, the one Muse and I were using for the time being. For the actual wedding night, I would take her somewhere else. It would be strange to spend our honeymoon in my parents’ house. I would have flown Muse off to a beautiful place, but since she was so late in her pregnancy, getting her around was nearly impossible.

  A knock sounded on the door. “Can I come in?” Father’s deep voice penetrated the solid wood of the door.

  “You never used to ask when I was a kid.”

  He opened the door, a slight grin on his face. “You didn’t have any rights as a kid.” His ripped arms stretched the sleeves of his t-shirt. He carried himself like a king, even when no one was watching. He lowered himself into the chair across the room and leaned back, resting one ankle on the opposite knee. He seemed happy I was there, sharing the house with him and my mother once again, but there was a definite sadness in his eyes.

  I knew the cause of his sorrow. “She’ll come around.”

  He lifted his gaze and met mine. Heartbeats passed, but he didn’t blink. It was strange to see him without a glass in his hand. Mama probably cut him off. I’d never seen my father drunk, but then again, maybe he was always drunk and I’ve never seen him sober. “You think so?”

  I gave a slight nod. “She’s the strongest woman I know…but don’t tell her I said that.”

  My father would normally crack a smile, but this time, he didn’t. “She is.”

  “She just needs more time.”

  “How was she when you saw her?”

  She looked like a ghost. Her olive skin wasn’t as dark as it usually was. She didn’t wear makeup, and her eyes didn’t shine with that inner brightness. “Defeated. But her good qualities are still there. She seemed genuinely happy that Muse and I…I mean Sapphire…are getting married. The old Vanessa is still in there…just buried deep under her sorrow.” I shut my laptop and gave my father my full attention.

  “That’s what you call her?” he asked. “Muse?”

  I gave a slight nod.

  The corner of his mouth rose in a smile before it fell down again. “I can’t remember the last time I addressed your mother by her first name. Sometimes I forget what it is.”

  “Same here.”

  We sat in silence for a while, my father’s hands coming together in his lap. His gaze moved to the open window, the view of the vineyards endless. He was always composed and rigid, but right now, he seemed particularly stiff. “It was a hard decision. It was hard because I knew how much it would hurt her. I know she loves him…and I think he loves her. But I had to do the right thing. I’m not going to be around forever, and I want to die peacefully, to know my only daughter is with a man who will do a better job taking care of her than I ever did. That’s all I want. Maybe it’s selfish…but it’s what I need.”

  I wasn’t a father just yet, but I felt the same way about my baby. Whether it was a boy or a girl, it didn’t matter. It would be nice to know they had someone else to take care of them if I weren’t around. “What changed your mind?”

  My father’s gaze turned back to me, and he held my look for a long time. After a slight shake of his head, he cleared his throat. “Doesn’t matter. He’s not right for her.”

  I knew he was hiding something from me, but I didn’t press him on it. “I think you made the right decision. When our hatred runs so deep, it’s unlikely the Barsettis will ever accept someone like him. Maybe Vanessa loves him, but she can love someone else.”

  My father closed his eyes for a brief moment and nodded. “I hope so.”

  “But I do hate her misery. I’ve never seen her this low.”

  “Neither have I. I stopped by her gallery to see her last week…she can barely look at me.” He took a deep breath, his features tightening in obvious pain. “I know I need to be patient, but having my only daughter hate me is killing me. I can barely sleep.” His eyes shifted away, the pain coating his entire expression.

  My father was such a strong man that I’d never pitied him. He never allowed anything to bother him. If he carried any pain, he hid it from everyone. But now his sorrow was so deep he couldn’t hide it. He wore it on his sleeve, showed it in his face. “She doesn’t hate you, Father. I know she doesn’t.”

  He wouldn’t look at me.

  “If she did, she wouldn’t still be here. Sh
e would have run off with him and turned her back on all of us. But she didn’t. We’re the most important thing in the world to her. She needed your approval to be with him, and when she didn’t get it, she let him go. She loves you more than she’ll ever love a man.”

  He turned his gaze back on me, the emotion burning in his eyes. “That’s nice of you to say, son.”

  “It’s the truth. Be patient, she’ll come around.”

  “I’ve never been a patient man…but I suppose I’ll have to learn to be one.”

  “You’re getting married tomorrow.” Carter sat across from me at the picnic table on the grass. Mama and Muse were working on the decorations for outside, placing the colorful flowers in the gazebo where we would get married. “We’ve got to hit the town tonight. It’s your last night as a bachelor, so we’ve got to make it count.”

  “I haven’t been a bachelor for a long time.”

  “You may have been whipped for a long time, but you have been a bachelor.” Carter drank his beer and watched everyone work in the yard. “Come on, we’ll take our fathers and hit a strip club.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “You want to take our fathers to a strip club?”

  “Why not?” he asked. “It’s a bachelor party.”

  “They’re whipped even more than I am. No way they’d set foot in that kind of place.” My father was too rigid for something like that. I’d never even seen him glance at another woman. He seemed to only have eyes for my mother.

  “They’re men just like us. I’m sure they’d come.”

  “Carter, we aren’t going to a strip club.”

  “Why the hell not?” he demanded. “It’s one time, one night. Sapphire doesn’t seem like a woman that would care.”

  She wouldn’t care. She knew I worked with models all day, every day. I designed sex clothes for them to wear so men would fantasize about fucking them. It made them buy my lingerie for their women at home. “I don’t care that she doesn’t care. I’m the one who cares.”