Buttons and Shame Read online

  I sat at the edge of the bed and realized my stupidity. How could she clean herself up if she was still chained to the headboard? I grabbed the towel and did the honors for her. It was the least I could do since I used her like a toy rather than a human being.

  She watched me the entire time, her brown eyes not as guarded as they were at dinner.

  I tossed the towel on the ground when I was finished then ran my hand through my hair. Now that I was done, I didn’t know what to say to her. Should I thank her? This wasn’t any different from the other slaves I’d slept with. All I had to do was walk out and go back to my life like this never happened.

  So that’s what I did.

  I pulled on my shoes and headed to the door.

  “Wait.”

  Her beautiful voice stopped me in my tracks. I loved the way it sounded in my ears, hearing a command from her. Even beaten and defeated, she was still one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen. She was a woman who belonged to another man, but I didn’t see her that way. I turned around.

  She tapped the edge of the bed with her foot, asking me to return.

  I contemplated the request before I sat beside her. Just because I came didn’t mean I wouldn’t fuck her again. I could definitely get my sail up for that.

  “It’s Cane, right?”

  I nodded and stared at my hands. “You want me to stay so you can have a few more minutes of freedom?” Maybe she was dragging out my presence to keep the other guys out. As long as I was in there, they wouldn’t come for her. They wouldn’t punch her and objectify her. I wasn’t evil, but I was definitely a better alternative to them.

  “Help me.”

  I turned to her with both eyebrows raised. Of all the things I expected her to say, that wasn’t one of them. “Help you?”

  “Yes…” She pulled on the chains and positioned her back against the headboard. Her knees were to her chest, hiding most of her nakedness from view. Her thighs were probably sticking to her stomach from my come. “Buy me from Tristan.”

  “I’m pretty sure I could never afford you.” Tristan’s obsession with his slave was obvious. He would be an idiot not to be enamored of her soft qualities. When I saw her in the airport, I made a move without thinking twice about it. There was something about her that drove me wild. I probably would have fucked her if she were any other woman. Something about those brown eyes made me stop.

  “I know you’re rich.”

  “And how do you know that?”

  “You wouldn’t be making a deal with Tristan unless you had money.” Her voice was a little deeper than the average woman, but I liked it. It was innately sexy and powerful. “And you aren’t like the rest of them.”

  “I’m just like them, actually.” I committed crimes every single day. I did a lot of horrible things that had reserved my spot in hell a long time ago. “But worse.”

  She shook her head like she didn’t believe me. “Please get me out of here.”

  My cock started to harden in my jeans again. I liked hearing her beg. I fantasized about it in a different context. “Why should I help you?” I had more important things to do than help a slave.

  “Because you aren’t evil.”

  “I just ate out your pussy and came all over you. And you don’t think I’m evil?”

  Her brown eyes hardened like she was reliving a distant memory, a painful experience that she struggled to internalize. “Trust me, that’s not evil.”

  Now I wondered what else they did to her before I came by the house. I knew Tristan had violent tendencies. The sight of blood was a real turn-on for him. Judging from all the cuts and bruises on her body, he’d made her bleed several times.

  “Buy me.”

  “Like I said, I can’t afford you.” Tristan wouldn’t put her up for sale. She was a prized possession. Maybe in six months when her soul had been completely crushed and her body began to fail, he would consider selling her off for a decent price. But by then, no one would want her.

  I definitely wouldn’t want his leftovers then. “And I’m not gonna steal you.”

  “No, you can’t do that,” she whispered.

  I wasn’t sure what that meant. Maybe she assumed I wouldn’t be able to pull off a stunt like that. I was certain I could, but I definitely didn’t have the motivation to piss off one of my clients for a beautiful woman. I liked pussy as much as the next guy, but not enough to affect my business.

  I had nothing else to say to her. I’d gotten what I came here for, so I stood up.

  “Cane, please.” She whispered so no one could hear outside the door. “You’re the only remotely humane man I’ve met. Please don’t leave me here. Please buy me.”

  I sat back down again, intrigued that a slave wanted to be resold to another dictator. “If you were my slave, your conditions wouldn’t be much better than this. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”

  “You aren’t like them.”

  She couldn’t be more wrong. “You don’t know me, sweetheart. And you don’t want to get to know me.”

  Her elbows hung next to her face, her slender arms rising above her head. The discolored scars were purple and sometimes yellow. One long cut stretched along her underarm to her elbow. There was even a line of stitches down her forearm. She’d obviously been strongly abused but somehow found the strength to remain rational. She didn’t burst into tears or shut down. She still had fire inside her. “You could have raped me, but you didn’t. You’re the first man to hesitate at the word no. You saw the fear in my eyes and backed off. I know a compassionate man when I see one—because it’s so rare. Maybe you’re a criminal or even a murderer. Maybe you deserve to be in jail for all the crimes you’ve committed. But I can say, without a doubt, life with you would be much more bearable than where I am now.”

  I would be lying if I said the idea of having her as a slave didn’t arouse me. I pictured her dressed in lingerie all the time, walking around the house with goose bumps along her body from the cold. She would wait on me, prepare my meals, and clean up after me. When I wanted her to suck my cock, I’d command her to get on her knees—and she would obey. And the fact that she would be grateful to have me as a master just made her ownership even more appealing.

  But that fantasy would never come to pass. “I’m leaving now. Take care.”

  “Cane, please.” Her voice rose in pitch as she let the desperation take over. “I’ll give you anything you want if you help me.”

  I grabbed the door handle and turned around. “You have nothing to give, sweetheart. You’re a slave. Your life will be much easier if you don’t forget that.”

  Rage burned in her eyes, insulted by the comment because it was true. There was no denying it. It didn’t matter what she used to be in her former life. Maybe she was a teacher. Maybe she was a florist. Maybe she did volunteer work and helped those less fortunate than her. But none of that mattered. Now she was just a slave.

  She didn’t even have a name.

  5

  Crow

  I pulled up to the house and handed my car over to the valet. My phone was still blank because Cane hadn’t contacted me since his meeting with Tristan the night before. A part of me worried something went wrong. Cane was a pain in the ass on a personal level, but when it came to business, he was always on his game.

  I walked inside and handed my jacket over to Lars.

  “Good afternoon, Your Grace.” He folded the jacket neatly over his arm even though he was going to drop it off at the dry cleaners anyway. “Is there anything I can get you before dinner?”

  “No. Mrs. Barsetti and I will be eating dinner on the patio this evening.” It was a beautiful day in Tuscany. The sun was bright in a cloudless sky, and the heat had soaked into the Italian dirt. Once the sun set past the hillside, the breeze would rustle through the olive trees and make the white candles flicker on the table. The gentle glow would light up Button’s soft features, particularly those beautiful eyes I was so fond of.

&nb
sp; “Of course. Any preferences?”

  “I trust your expertise.” I walked up to the third floor and checked my phone again, expecting Cane to call me at any moment. I was a very paranoid man after everything I’d lived through. Once something was out of the ordinary, it was difficult for me to ignore it.

  Before speaking to Button, I walked into my office and called him.

  Cane answered on the second ring. “Hey.”

  “Everything alright?” I poured a glass of scotch and sat behind my desk.

  “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “You didn’t call me last night.” I didn’t hide my annoyance or my accusation. It was unlike him not to check in with me.

  “Does that mean you were worried about me?” he teased. “Pearl swears you have a soft side. Maybe she was right.”

  His teasing nature assured me he was perfectly alright. There weren’t any problems with the deal. Calling me had just slipped his mind. “I only have a soft side for her, so don’t expect to see it.”

  “I wasn’t counting on it.”

  “So, what happened?”

  Cane immediately launched into business mode. “I told Tristan the price, and he said he needed twenty-four hours to think about it.”

  Our clients didn’t waste our time like that. If they wanted our services, they knew they had to pay top dollar for it. “You think he’s playing games?”

  “No. Tristan has always been good to us. I think there’s something else going on.”

  “Like?” I sipped my scotch.

  “I don’t know. But I’m staying at the hotel until I have dinner with him again.”

  The fire wasn’t burning in the fireplace because Lars only lit it when I asked him to. Now that Pearl was my wife, I rarely came in here anymore. Most of the time I ended up doing work in bed while she slept beside me. “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I left pretty late last night.”

  I suspected something was bothering him. I could feel his consternation over the phone. “You aren’t telling me something.”

  “I had an encounter with one of his slaves. Can’t stop thinking about her.”

  Cane couldn’t resist a beautiful woman under any circumstances. I’d seen him pick up whores right in front of me. Sex was on his mind more often than money. He and I were opposites in that way. “Get a go?”

  “I fooled around with her. But I didn’t fuck her. She’s Tristan’s woman. Who knows what she has?”

  Good point. “Then why are you still thinking about her?”

  Cane usually talked too much, not too little. But right now, he didn’t have much to say. “I’ll call you after I speak with Tristan again. I’m sure he’ll agree to the terms. He didn’t try to negotiate.”

  “Because Barsettis don’t negotiate.”

  Cane hung up.

  I downed the rest of my glass before I left my office and walked into the bedroom. My dark furniture had been replaced with pieces in a lighter wood color. Now there were vases of flowers everywhere and new paintings on the walls. The bedside lamps had been replaced, and there was a framed picture of the two of us on our wedding day. I didn’t care for the changes she’d made, but I didn’t make a fuss about it.

  Didn’t care enough to.

  “Button?” I loosened my tie as I walked inside. The bathroom door was open, and she was nowhere to be seen. I scanned the room and noticed the handwritten note on my nightstand next to the picture frame.

  Husband,

  I went into town to do some shopping. I’ll be back before dinner.

  Love,

  Your wife

  Her tender use of husband and wife didn’t dim my anger. She went on an adventure alone in a country she still knew nothing about, and she didn’t have the courtesy to give me a heads-up. She did it on purpose because she knew I would never let her go. That just pissed me off more.

  I pulled up her tracker on my phone to see where she was. After a glance, I realized she was in Florence, the next major town close to my estate. I zoomed in farther and found her inside a clothing boutique.

  Did she really need clothes?

  I stormed back out and down the stairs. I didn’t bother telling the valet to get my car ready. I was in too much of a hurry to wait for anything at the moment.

  It seemed like Lars knew exactly where I was at any given time because he stepped out of the kitchen as if he expected me. “Your Grace, are you leaving?”

  “Yes.” I didn’t break my stride or even look at him. “I should be back within an hour.”

  “Dinner is still on, then?”

  I may not have an appetite once I was through with Button, but she probably would. “Yes.” I got into my car and took off, heading down the lonely road to Florence thirty minutes away. I yanked my tie off and tossed it into the passenger seat beside me and drove with one hand. I didn’t call her because I wanted to catch her off guard, to prove to her that anyone could sneak up on her at any time.

  I made it into the city and left my car at the curb. Italians were off work and browsing the farmers market down the cobblestone streets. The ancient buildings stood the test of time by towering high above the mortals. My life would pass in the blink of an eye, but those buildings had been around for thousands of years.

  I followed the tracker and turned down a small street lined with cafes, bookstores, and barber shops. A man with a thick beard passed with a fresh loaf of bread tucked under his arm, and another woman sat on a bench with two little boys who each had an ice cream cone. There didn’t seem to be any danger anywhere.

  But those people were ignorant.

  I was a criminal, and I walked the streets just like everyone else. I was disguised by my expensive clothing and good looks. Women looked at me with interest, seeing me as intimidating in a sexy way. But they didn’t know I was a very dangerous man.

  I walked into the clothing store and spotted her immediately. She was examining a sleeveless white dress that stopped above the knee. It was tight around the waist and flared out slightly. She paired it with a large floppy hat that would shield the sun. As furious as I was, she looked like she belonged there. She looked like one of us, blending in with her deep brown hair and bright red lips.

  I ignored the thickening of my cock and moved through the racks of clothing until I came up behind her. She still hadn’t noticed me, examining the price tag with a scowl. She must have thought it was too expensive because she returned it to the rack.

  Now that I was right next to her, close enough to smell the hint of rose on her skin, it was hard for me to remain angry. My body flushed with heat when she was near, and I felt a dull pain in my heart. It wasn’t from sadness, but adoration. Seeing her put that dress back made me want to buy her everything in the store. “Get it.”

  She flinched at the sound of my voice, recognizing me without even looking at me. She slowly turned my way, her eyes decorated with eye shadow and mascara. She was in dark jeans and a purple halter top, showing her rounded shoulders and beautiful sun-kissed skin. “It’s too expensive.”

  “Nothing is too expensive for you.” I grabbed the dress without looking at the price tag. “Get whatever you want, Button.”

  She knew exactly why I was there, but she didn’t show any anger. I abandoned my fury once I looked at her, and she did the same once I encouraged her to buy something she wanted. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I had more money than I could spend in a lifetime. Half of everything I owned belonged to her. She could buy any damn thing she wanted. I wanted her to spend my money—our money. “I’ll be outside.”

  She came out with a bag stuffed with new clothes. I was glad she took my words to heart and treated herself to whatever she wanted. She joined me on the bench along the sidewalk where I had a great view of the cobblestone streets. Cars weren’t allowed in the area, so only people were passing.

  I stared straight ahead and didn’t look at her.

  She crossed her legs and enjoyed the quiet compa
nionship between us. Perhaps she didn’t want to say anything because it would begin the conversation she was trying to avoid. She wasn’t the kind of woman to shy away from anything—not even me. “You can’t expect me to be cooped up in that house all day.”

  “Yes, I can.” That wasn’t a tactful way to approach the conversation, but I always led with my anger. “And I do.”

  “Would you want to be cooped up in the house all day?” she countered.

  “The estate is pretty big. Lots of stuff for you to do.”

  She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I don’t feel bad for going out. So don’t bother.”

  “It’s not safe, Button. With just one look at you, people know you’re American. You’re an easy target.” Tourists were always hit the hardest. Locals knew they weren’t familiar with the area and took advantage of their ignorance.

  “He’s dead.” I knew exactly whom she was referring to, and I appreciated that she didn’t mention him by name. “Now I want to go out and live my life. I want to enjoy my surroundings. I’ve been here for almost two years, and I haven’t done any sightseeing. Do you know how absurd that is?”

  “You wanna go sightseeing? I’ll take you.”

  “That’s not the point, Crow.”

  “And if you want some clothes or something from town, Lars can pick it up for you.”

  “Again, that’s not what I want. If I want to get out and do something, I will.”

  “You don’t know the area. I’m not even sure how you drove here.”

  “With two legs and a brain,” she snapped. “I’m a lot more capable than you give me credit for.”

  I knew exactly how strong she was. She’d suffered more than I had, but she still held her head high. I admired her more than anyone else in the world. But I didn’t want her to suffer anymore. All I wanted was a happy life for her. “Button, I know how strong you are. That’s never been the issue.” I watched an elderly man pass with a cane. He still held hands with his wife, who looked to be about the same age. Old and faded, they were approaching the end of their time together. That’s what I wanted with Pearl. To grow old with her. “I don’t ever want anyone to take you away from me.” I’d lost many people, and it was agonizing. When I thought I lost Pearl, I was a mess. I did my best to convince myself she didn’t mean anything to me, that she was expendable. But the more I pushed her away, the more I realized I couldn’t live without her. Now she was my wife, the other half of me. If I lost her, it would be different than it was with my parents and Vanessa.