Second Read online

  I wondered if Damien was sleeping alone.

  Probably not.

  I’d been to the casino before, saw the women dance in cages suspended above the ceiling while the men gambled chips worth a million euro each. Damien said he was going there after the fight, probably to drink, gamble, and fuck.

  I shouldn’t care.

  But I would always care.

  He comforted me when my own husband didn’t. He stayed by my side and made me feel so much better with just his presence. There was something about the tone of his voice, his choice of words, that made all my muscles relax from their rigid positions. My heart beat slower, and I felt warm despite the cold temperature of the underground arena. The men huddled around the ring weren’t gentlemen and didn’t care about shoving me with their enormous shoulders, but Damien kept me safe. His hand wrapped around my waist, just the way it used to when he walked me to my door.

  And he erased all my problems.

  I thought I could be around him and keep up a poker face, but the more I was near him, the harder it was. I wanted to be committed in my marriage, to love only my husband and no one else. But when I’d started to make progress…I saw Damien’s handsome face, and all my attempts went to shit.

  Could you get over someone if you had to still see them?

  Sometimes I wondered if I should quit my job, but apparently, I would still see him at the fights, so there was no escape.

  I would just have to try harder.

  A week had passed, and my life started to feel normal again.

  Liam didn’t mention another fight, so we spent our time cooking together and talking in front of the fire. We’d share a bottle of wine, get a little drunk, and have good sex. That was one of the nicest things about Liam; he knew how to fuck. All the other men I went out with had no idea what they were doing, or they just didn’t care.

  Besides Damien. He was on a whole other level. I thought the sex was good because it was so emotional, like a hurricane and a tsunami combined. A forest fire drenched in gasoline. It was passionate, so good it brought tears to my eyes from time to time. I thought it was because I was so deeply and stupidly in love…and he felt that way too. But he was just good in bed, I guess.

  But the longer I wasn’t around Damien, the less I thought about him…which was nice. It was a healing process. As if I’d broken my arm, it felt better until I used it again. Then there was a setback, and I lost all that progress and had to start over. Same exact thing. But a broken arm would be much less painful than a broken heart.

  I sat in the chair facing Sofia’s desk, and we discussed the weekly reports, the things that needed to be addressed for the hotel. It was my job to do paperwork in the office, but I also made my rounds around the hotel, randomly checking cleaned rooms and doing customer surveys of their experience as guests.

  Sofia never asked me about Damien anymore, so our relationship seemed to be old news. That was nice because I didn’t want to talk about him anyway. “How are things with Liam?” He was my husband now, so that was the only person she should be asking about.

  “Good.”

  “That’s it?” she asked, teasing me slightly.

  “I’m not happy that he continues to fight, but everything else is good. He looks at me differently, like he can’t believe I’m there. He hasn’t taken me for granted now that I’m back, as if he still remembers the pain of my absence. So, he loves me pretty hard…”

  “That’s great,” she said. “It’s hard to let go of the past sometimes, but it’s worth it if you can. His infidelity is unacceptable, but if he’s different now…that’s all that really matters.” She flipped through her papers.

  I truly believed it would be different, despite what Damien thought. Our marriage had been solid and honest before tragedy struck us, so it wasn’t like Liam was innately unfaithful. He’d just made a bad decision. When I took him back, I forgave him for what he did and gave him a clean slate. “Yeah.” When Damien was passionate about fidelity, that Liam shouldn’t have cheated in the first place, that real men never did those things, it made me believe in fantasy, made me picture having Damien as mine. But in the end, it was all a lie…because he’d never committed to a woman in his entire life, including me. “Has Hades ever…?” It was a personal question and I probably shouldn’t ask, but we’d become good friends over the last few months. It seemed impossible that Hades would ever do something like that, but it seemed as if she spoke from experience.

  She pulled her gaze away from her work and considered the question a long time.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. “Forget I said anything—”

  “No, it’s okay,” she said quickly. “Hades and I actually got divorced at one point, but not because we wanted to. He spent time with other women then, but there was no sex, so it wasn’t cheating…but it still hurt. When we got back together, I just let it go. The past has no effect on us now, so it really doesn’t matter.”

  I didn’t ask for the specifics. “I’ve let it go too.” I used to wonder who the woman was, if she was a brunette like me, if she was as good in bed as I was. But I’d stopped thinking about it and moved on.

  “I think that’s—” She suddenly stopped speaking, her hand moving to her stomach.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. I just had a weird—” She faltered again.

  Now, I started to freak out. “Maybe we should go to the hospital.” She was about halfway through her pregnancy, so she might get cramps and other pains, but it could also be more serious. “Did anything like this happen with Andrew?”

  “No…”

  “Then we should go.”

  “I’ll call Hades and—” This time, she stood up and gripped the desk.

  “That will take too long, Sofia. I’ll drive you and call him on the way.” I pulled her arm over my shoulder and got her out from behind the desk. “It’ll be alright. Just keep breathing and stay calm.”

  Hades got there with amazing speed.

  He stormed down the hallway until he found me sitting outside the room. “Where is she? Is she alright? Is the doctor here?” He was in his suit because he’d just left the bank. He was clean and crisp, but that fear in his eyes made him look a little insane.

  “I don’t have any news.” I rose out of the chair. “She just started having pain in the office, and I got here as quickly as I could.”

  He didn’t say another word before he stepped into the room.

  I sat back in the chair again, feeling the dread. Seeing Hades worry about Sofia like that was painful to watch. I prayed everything would be alright, that there wouldn’t be a miscarriage. They were both so excited for their second child.

  I knew what it was like to lose a baby, and no one deserved to experience that.

  No one.

  Just thinking about it made my eyes water a little. Memories of that awful day were still fresh. I’d felt so connected to the baby inside me before I lost her, and it would be painful for the rest of my life.

  I didn’t want Sofia to know that kind of pain.

  I started to cry. Tears ran down my face, and I closed my eyes to control my breathing, to get everything to calm so the tears would run dry. I focused on something else, the sound of birds in the morning, the smell of a fresh pie on Christmas, and brought myself to normalcy again. But my eyes were still wet…along with my cheeks.

  Quick footsteps sounded down the hall, as if someone else was in a hurry.

  I lifted my gaze to see.

  It was Damien. He must have dropped Hades off at the entrance then found parking afterward. When he saw me sitting on the bench, he stopped midstep, wearing a black suit that looked so delicious on that perfect body. His jawline was sprinkled with a sexy shadow, highlighting those beautiful lips. His eyes were always the best, especially when they were packed with emotion, whether that be anger, desire, or joy. Pain was in his eyes in that moment, like the sight of the remnants of my tears was enough to make him forget why he was there
in the first place.

  He moved to the seat beside me on the bench, his arm sliding over the back and automatically wrapping around my body. His strong hand gripped my arm, and once he made contact, his cologne came over me, the exact smell that used to be on his sheets and my clothes. His face moved close to mine, holding me like we were still lovers. “Annabella, what’s going on?” His voice was quiet so the doctors and nurses who passed in the hallway couldn’t overhear us. His fingers dug into the fabric of my coat, and even though it was just one in the afternoon, his breath smelled of scotch. And he called me Annabella…as if nothing had changed in the last few months.

  “Sofia has been in there for a while. Hades just went in. I don’t have any news…”

  He sighed in disappointment before his hand slipped into my hair, his fingers pulling back the strands from my face. It was the same touch he used to give me, and I was transported back in time. I pictured my old apartment, the empty pizza box on the edge of the bed, and his clothes on the floor. Instead of questioning me about my tears, he stared at me hard, his eyes looking into mine like we were making love. He came to the conclusion all on his own because he knew me so well. “I’m so sorry, Annabella.” He turned my face into his, and he placed his forehead against mine.

  It felt so right that I didn’t pull away. I closed my eyes and let him comfort me, let him carry the burden of the past with me. My fingers wrapped around his wrist, and I held on with shaky breaths, feeling so much emotion from so little. Everything about him calmed me, made me think of deep rivers, of the ocean tide as it crashed onto the shore. I thought of low fires burning in the hearth that were hungry for the next log. I thought of the softest sheets that brushed against my skin when I scooted closer to him in the middle of the night.

  “Their son will be alright.”

  I opened my eyes and pulled back slightly to look at him. “How do you know it’s a boy?”

  His hand slid to the back of my neck, releasing my hair. “Just do.”

  “And how do you know everything will be alright?”

  He was quiet again. “I just do.” His thumb moved to my cheek, and he wiped away a tear that still clung to my skin. Then he did the other side, keeping his eyes on me. “I’m sure it’s not life-threatening. Easily treatable.”

  I wanted to fall into those false promises and never leave.

  He continued to wipe away my tears until my cheeks were clean and dry. He seemed to realize he’d crossed the line with his affection, so he pulled his touch away and scooted slightly to the left, leaving a few inches between us.

  I didn’t want him to move.

  He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, his hands together. When someone walked by, he casually lifted his gaze to glance at the person as they passed. His sleeves were slightly pulled back to reveal his watch. His slacks were also pulled up, showing his black socks underneath.

  Ugh, he was so hot.

  I crossed my legs and looked away, doing my best not to stare. Then we sat in silence, both pretending that we hadn’t just collided like two trains.

  After fifteen minutes passed, he straightened and leaned against the back of the bench. He crossed one ankle onto the opposite knee, his hands folded together in his lap.

  “You don’t have to stay here with me.”

  “I’m not.” He adjusted his sleeve under his jacket and continued to look ahead. “I want to make sure Sofia is okay.”

  “You don’t need to get back to the office?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t give a shit about the office.”

  Just like that, he squeezed my heart again. He was loyal to the people he loved.

  We returned to silence once more.

  He was the one person in the world who affected me this deeply, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Words were gone because I didn’t know how to connect with the man I had connected with so intensely in the past. But maybe that was the reason why…because I didn’t want some of him, but all of him.

  “Did you change Liam’s mind?”

  I turned to him, unsure what he was referring to.

  “Fighting.”

  “Oh…” It was weird to think about Liam when I was with Damien. “He said no.”

  He pulled back his sleeve and looked at the time. “If it makes you feel better, I’ve been in the fighting game a long time, and serious injuries rarely happen. Fighters respect one another’s longevity. It’s a sport, not a massacre.”

  “But it does happen. Fighters lapse into comas and never wake up again. They break their legs and can’t walk for a year. They develop internal bleeding that leads to hemorrhaging. Don’t pretend fighting is safe. The objective is to knock your opponent out cold.”

  “Then why did you marry him?” Now his tone was a bit chilly when it was so warm minutes ago. He turned on me, comforting me one moment and then condemning me the next.

  I turned to him, provoked by the question. “What kind of question is that?”

  “A legitimate one. Why marry a man who fights for a living if you hate it so much? Why marry a man who fucked someone else while you struggled through the hardest thing you’ve ever had to deal with in your whole life? Why—”

  “I told you why, Damien.”

  He turned away, his jaw tight. “That’s not a good enough reason, Annabella. You’re one hell of a woman, and you deserve one hell of a man.”

  “Well, you’re the only one-hell-of-a-man I’ve ever met, and you don’t want me.” The bitterness came out of my mouth so fast, like a striking snake. I didn’t even have time to think about it before I blurted it out of my angry lips.

  He pivoted his body toward me. “It’s not that I don’t—”

  Hades and Sofia stepped out of the room.

  Our conversation was abandoned because all we cared about was her. We both got to our feet and started firing off questions.

  “Everything okay?” I asked.

  “What did the doctor say?” Damien asked.

  Hades had his arm around Sofia, who had her hand over her stomach. “The baby is safe, and so is Sofia. It was just some cramping. The doctor ran some tests, and everything came back good. We’re in the clear.”

  “Oh good.” My hand pressed into my chest with relief. “I’m so happy to hear that…”

  “That’s great news.” Damien gripped his friend’s shoulder then patted him on the back before he hugged Sofia and kissed her on the cheek.

  I knew Damien could be dark and cold, even with me, but when I saw him interact with Hades and Sofia…he was a whole new man. He’d give his life for either one of them. I could tell just by watching.

  Hades started to walk with Sofia. “I’m gonna take her home. You’ll figure out your own way?”

  “Don’t worry about me.” Damien lingered behind and started to walk with me.

  “I can give you a ride,” I offered, even though I didn’t want to. Nothing but bad things happened when we were alone together. Or good things…depending on how you looked at it.

  Damien nodded in agreement. “Thanks.”

  I liked having a car, but I didn’t care for the model.

  Bugatti.

  Liam insisted I get it because he wanted the world to know what I was worth, but I thought it was ridiculously extravagant and not me whatsoever. I’d rather sell this car so Liam could retire than continue to drive it around like some kind of royal.

  Damien didn’t comment on the vehicle. He just sat there quietly…looking out the window.

  It was a long drive, even though his office was only fifteen minutes away.

  We listened to the radio to pass the time, and every once in a while, he pulled his sleeve back to glance at the time on his nice watch. His hair was styled the way I liked, and his tanned skin peeked out from underneath his cuffs sometimes…beautiful.

  I parked in front of the entrance to the bank and waited for him to leave.

  He made no move to open the door. He continued to look out the win
dow as if he didn’t realize where we were. After a quiet sigh that filled the car, he turned to me, his green eyes packed with so much intensity, it seemed like he might kiss me.

  I held his gaze because I didn’t know what else to do. I was paralyzed by the look, so weak I couldn’t even blink. I didn’t want to miss a single word, a single movement he might make. My mind was transported back in time, and I stood naked in front of him, frozen by that exact same gaze. I was entirely his, and no one else could claim me…not even my own husband. Damien already owned every piece of my body, had kissed my most tender places with embraces that still burned. My body was covered with his scars, a map of everywhere he’d been. No matter how many showers I took, I couldn’t wash him off. Sometimes, I smelled him on my sheets, smelled him on my clothes, but that simply wasn’t possible.

  He didn’t say anything, and he turned away when he realized he wasn’t going to. He opened the door, got out, and walked away. No words were spoken, but a lengthy conversation had just happened between us. The heat from the fire was in the car, making my skin flush and turn pink. The wine we’d already drunk was in my veins, still potent even though it’d been ingested months ago. Memories so sharp they cut us both made us bleed all over the seats.

  I watched him walk through the front doors, and when I couldn’t see him anymore, I drove away.

  I sat at my vanity and fastened the diamond earrings into my lobes. My hair was in loose curls, and all the thick strands were pinned to one side, making my layers fall down one shoulder. I was in a sweetheart-neckline strapless black dress with a diamond hanging down from my throat.

  Liam was visible in the mirror, wearing a three-piece suit. “What’s this dinner for?”

  “You don’t have to come.” I didn’t want to drag Liam to an event he didn’t want to be part of. The Tuscan Rose was hosting a charity dinner for the city, and the guest list was expected to be over five hundred. I wasn’t working tonight, but I was attending as a guest on behalf of the hotel.