Secret Read online

  She shook her head.

  I turned away, frustrated that this motherfucker was making my life difficult, making me shoot one of my own men to protect his pathetic life.

  “Please,” she whispered. “I saved your life…”

  I stared at the stove as I took a deep breath, frustrated by her words. “Baby, I would make you that promise even if you hadn’t done what you did.” I straightened and turned back to her.

  She moved into me, cupping my face as she pressed her forehead to my chin. “Thank you.”

  I abandoned the food altogether and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close so I could hold her in the kitchen, feel her soul, smell her scent. Every moment of the day, I felt like a strong man, but whenever she was in my arms, I felt inexplicably weak. She was my undoing, the rose petals to my thorns.

  She clung to me in relief, like my promise meant the world to her because she knew I would keep it. Maybe she thought it balanced the scales for her brother, since she’d betrayed him. Her arms circled my neck, and she held me in my kitchen, the sexiest woman to stand there, the only woman to ask me for something and actually get it.

  When I’d answered the call and she confessed the truth, I didn’t have much time to dwell on her decision. I had to act fast. Otherwise, I would die anyway. But when everything was said and done, I still didn’t think about it, and I didn’t ask her either. Her feelings were pretty clear. Why talk about them?

  She pulled away slowly, her arms sliding down until her hands cupped the back of my neck. But then she took those away too, looking at me with the softest green eyes. She hardly showed her fire anymore because she was completely tame. I was no danger to her, no threat whatsoever, so she changed…let me see her in a new way.

  She seemed embarrassed by what she’d just asked me to do. Timid, she stood there and tucked her beautiful hair behind her ear. Her lips were plump and full, the single freckle on her face so damn sexy. “Can I help?” She turned to the stove.

  If she wanted to pretend that moment hadn’t just happened, fine. But it did happen—and we both knew it. I turned the burners back on. “Grab a couple of plates.” I heated the chicken and stirred the vegetables, and once everything was done, I scooped the meal onto the dishes.

  She carried the plates to the table right next to the window, a table that could easily hold ten people. Then she looked through my cabinets, probably searching for a bottle of wine. “Wow, you’ve got a lot of vodka…”

  “I’ll take a glass.”

  She grabbed a bottle and searched my fridge for a mixer. When she found a bottle of cranberry juice in the fridge, she mixed it. Then she picked a bottle of wine and poured it for herself. “Why do you like vodka so much?”

  “Because I’ve drunk a lot of it.” I sat at the table and watched her place the glass in front of me before she took the seat across from me, the view of the city in her line of sight. “I used to live in Russia.”

  She was about to cut into her chicken, but she flinched at what I said. “What?”

  “Yeah.” I kept eating, not stopping for the conversation because I was starving. I usually ate right after my workout, but she got on my bed and told me to fuck her, and no amount of hunger was going to get me to walk away from that.

  “When?”

  “A few years ago. I lived there for about two years.”

  “Why?”

  “What’s next?” I asked with a chuckle. “How and where?”

  When she realized all her questions, she smiled. “Sorry, I’m just surprised.”

  “I worked there with a crew. Drugs.”

  “Oh…” She didn’t know what to say to that, so she continued to cut into her meat and vegetables. “How did you end up here?”

  “My brother. But I got into some bad shit while I was there, and it was a problem for him since he was the Skull King at the time, so he threw me in jail for six months.”

  “Really?” she asked, her eyebrow raised. “You?”

  I nodded.

  “What was that like? If you don’t mind me asking…”

  “Boring.”

  “Boring?” she asked, surprised by my description.

  “Yeah. Same routine every day. I worked out like crazy.”

  She still seemed shocked by the news. “I can’t believe I’m sleeping with a former inmate.”

  “If you think that’s my worst attribute…” I released a quiet chuckle before I continued to eat.

  “So, he let you out?”

  “Yes, when I cleaned up my act. I moved in with him and became one of the Skull Kings.”

  “And you just worked until you got promoted?”

  “Basically.”

  “What was the first thing you did when you got out of jail?”

  The truth was crass, but I refused to lie to her. I knew exactly who I was, and I wasn’t afraid to show my true colors. “Drank beer and fucked a whore.” I kept eating like I’d said nothing odd, watching her expression.

  She didn’t have one. She stabbed her meat with her fork and placed it in her mouth, chewing slowly. “Your place is really nice…” She sidestepped the comment, like she didn’t want to picture me fucking some woman I paid.

  “Thank you.”

  “It’s very…you.”

  When I finished all the food on my plate, I enjoyed my vodka. “I’m glad you like it. Hope you come over often.”

  “Depends.”

  “On?”

  “How comfy that bed is.”

  “You’ve already lain on it.”

  “Yeah, but I wasn’t paying much attention.”

  “Well, if you don’t like it, you can just sleep on me.”

  She smiled before she pulled her wine closer to her. “I guess that’s true.”

  At the end of the night, we went into my bedroom. It was a spacious room, much bigger than her bedroom in that small apartment. I was definitely more comfortable over here, but as long as I got to be with her, it didn’t matter where we were.

  She moved to the corner of the room, stilled, and then sprinted to my bed. She jumped high and landed on the mattress, bouncing slightly.

  I watched her with a serious expression, finding her childlike behavior comical even if I didn’t show it.

  “Oh my god, this bed is huge.” She rolled over and stretched her arms and legs out, like she was making a snow angel in my sheets.

  “Well, I’m a big guy.” I dropped my sweatpants and set my phone on the nightstand. There was a pistol in my nightstand and a shotgun under my bed. I turned off the lights then hit the buttons to the shutters, closing all the windows so the sunlight wouldn’t bother us in the morning.

  She sat up and watched them closely. “Wow…that’s so cool.” Like a child, she was impressed by everything.

  I got into bed and lay there, watching her continue to examine things in my bedroom.

  She eventually got out of bed then walked to my closet. “Can I look around?”

  I gave her the same answer I always gave. “I have nothing to hide.”

  “Okay, but I’m not snooping. Just looking.” She flicked on the light and stepped inside. She looked at all my shirts and jeans then opened one of the drawers. The light immediately came on and revealed an assortment of guns and ammunition. She stilled in surprise before she gently shut the drawer. When she opened the next one, she found the same thing, but there were also grenades and blades. “Whoa.” She shut the drawer then stepped out again. “Never piss you off.”

  “The world shouldn’t piss me off. But you can.” I liked it, being with a woman who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind unapologetically.

  She grabbed her bag from the dresser. “I’m gonna get ready for bed.” She walked into the bathroom.

  She didn’t have any special bedtime routines, so I thought that announcement was odd, but I didn’t question it. Maybe she had something personal to take care of, to take her birth control pills or something.

  I lay there and closed my eye
s, the sheets around my waist because I was always hot, regardless of how low the setting was for my AC. I’d had women over here before, but I usually fucked whores at their place in case they tried to steal from me. But it was rare, to meet a woman I liked enough to bring to my private headquarters.

  Minutes later, she stepped out of the bathroom, and instead of having a clean face with no makeup like she was ready to sleep, she was in a sexy piece of lingerie. A black bodysuit made of lace that barely hid her tits from view. With her long hair in curls down her sides and her makeup heavier than it’d been earlier, she looked like she was ready to take my dick good even though she’d already had it hours ago.

  I propped myself up on my elbows so I could see her better, let my eyes trail over her body to the open crotch that made her cunt accessible without undressing. A woman had never put on lingerie for me before.

  This was a first.

  And damn.

  She studied my reaction to her, and she seemed to like what she saw, because she suddenly became more confident, her knees hitting the bed before she crawled to me.

  I wanted to grab her and fuck her so damn hard, but I was paralyzed, letting her decide how this played out. My cock was instantly hard under my sheets and started to poke through.

  She kept moving until she was on top of me, her long hair trailing along my chest as she crept closer. When her face was above mine, she went for my bottom lip, pulling it into her mouth and giving it a gentle bite that made me nearly bleed. Then she kissed my neck, moved over my chest, and made her way down my hard abs until she grabbed the sheet in her teeth and pulled it off my dick.

  My hands tightened into fists, and I stayed still even though I knew where this was going, knew that sweet mouth would be around my dick at any moment, sucking and licking like it was candy. I’ve had my dick sucked so many times, but the excitement never wore off, and since it was Catalina, my excitement was explosive.

  With her ass in the air, she leaned down and started to kiss my balls, gently dragging her tongue over my sensitive skin before she sucked it into her mouth, kissing, licking, her eyes locked on mine like my dick was her lover and I was prying.

  My breathing slowly increased the longer she kissed me, my firm chest rising and falling a little deeper because my lungs needed more air. My hands formed fists because I was tense, my dick so hard it started to ache. I thought lying back and enjoying the sexiest woman in the world eat my dick would be easy, but I had to fight all my instincts to grab her and flip her over. I liked to be in charge, but I forced myself to surrender.

  She dragged her tongue up my length, right over the thick vein, and moved until she reached the tip. Then she kissed the head, swiping her tongue over the precome that started to seep out. Her eyes opened and closed, like she was really making out with my dick, replacing my lips with another part of my body.

  When I took another breath, the moan I released was unstoppable. I was a quiet lover because I preferred to listen to the woman tell me what she liked, but I found myself enjoying sex more than usual because my partner was equally giving, equally talented.

  She kissed my dick as she stared into my eyes, her eyes filled with more arousal than mine, like she wanted nothing more than to make love to my dick with her tongue. If ballet didn’t work out and she wanted to be a whore, she could charge anything she wanted—and get every coin she asked for.

  She opened her mouth and flattened her tongue before she slid down, craning her neck to stick my dick in her throat. She moved as far as she could, leaving a few inches out because it simply wasn’t possible to take it all. She kept her ass in the air, her back arched like a tiger, and moved up and down my length, her spit dripping to my balls.

  Fuck, I already wanted to come.

  She took it slow, like she wanted me to last a long time, to enjoy every minute before I couldn’t take it any longer.

  But my threshold had disappeared once we skipped the condoms, once our commitment had deepened into a relationship I’d never had before. Now there was only one woman in my life, and even when I was out with the boys while she was asleep, I didn’t even look. I turned down offers all the time. My usual girls texted me because I was their favorite client, but I wasn’t remotely enticed.

  This was all I wanted.

  She lifted her gaze and watched me as she struggled to keep going without making herself choke. She had to crane her neck to move up and down without changing her position, encouraging me to enjoy the view of her perky cheeks in the air.

  I wanted to keep going. I wanted to lie there and just enjoy it. But watching this woman do everything for me, be a fantasy I didn’t even ask for, made me want more of her…made me want to be inside her, to rock my headboard into the wall while I looked her in the eye, enjoying the woman who gave herself to me completely.

  The woman who wasn’t afraid.

  My hand went to her neck, and I lifted her, making her drop my dick so it landed with a wet thud against my abs. I pulled her to me, bringing her mouth to mine for a slow kiss. My hands finally got to touch her, to feel the texture of the lace. My hands followed her curves, followed her hips to her narrow waist. My thumbs stretched across her chest, resting underneath the swells of her tits, feeling her slow heartbeat, like she was absolutely calm when we were together.

  I kissed her as her hair fell around me, her perfume overcoming my senses, turning me on more. This intensity was potent, my breath shaky because all my senses were overloaded. My thighs tightened and my dick twitched, my mind living in a reality that seemed too good to be true.

  I slowly rolled her over until she was on her back, her head hitting my pillow. “I want to please you…” Her tits were visible through the fabric, and she immediately widened her legs and pulled her knees to her chest, knowing exactly how I would take her.

  My arms hooked behind her knees, and I held my face above hers, my dick getting ready to slide through her tight opening and plunge deep inside. “You are.” I kissed her again, our lips moving together slowly, taking our time. “This is how I want you.” I gradually slid inside her, slowly pushed through her copious wetness, stretched out her tightness. I moaned as I sank deeper and deeper, her spit removing every single hint of friction. I pushed all the way inside her even though it hurt her a bit, made tears emerge in her eyes.

  Her hands cupped my face, and she held me close, breathing against my lips as she tolerated my size.

  I loved that she let me do this to her, that she wanted all of me, even if it hurt.

  I pulled away and started to rock into her normally, to glide in and out gently, stopping before I went too far.

  She grabbed my ass and dug her fingers deep, yanking me farther into her, like she wanted it anyway, like she didn’t care, like she wanted me to watch the tears streak from the corners of her eyes.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.” I spoke against her mouth, finding this the most erotic moment of my life, to be this connected to another person like this, to share every heartbeat, every thought.

  “I want all of you.” Her palm planted against my chest, right over my heart. “Exactly as you are…”

  We spent the morning and afternoon watching TV on the couch. She was tucked close to my side, her arm around my waist while her cheek rested against my shoulder. We didn’t say much, the presence of each other enough. When it was early afternoon, she packed her bag and prepared to leave.

  I didn’t want her to go.

  She was in jeans and a shirt, the outfit she’d packed so she wouldn’t have to do the walk of shame in that sexy red dress. She looked up at me, her eyes slightly hinting of dread, like she didn’t want to leave either. “I should go…” She echoed my own words back to me, probably understanding the pain I would feel.

  Yeah, I felt it. “I’ll walk you out.” I took the bag off her shoulder and carried it so she wouldn’t have to. I took the lead and headed down the stairs to the vault doors. I closed the door behind us and walked her out to the curb to where
her car was. When the door was unlocked, I opened the back door and placed her bag inside. “I want you to have this.” I pulled out the remote keypad.

  She took it, clearly not understanding what it was. She stared at it for a few seconds before she looked at me.

  “Enter that same combination so you can get into my garage. I don’t want you to park out here.” I nodded to the cross street. “The entrance is on the other side.”

  She nodded. “Alright.”

  “Come and go as you please.” I never gave anyone else access to my home. Not even Steel had it. “I mean that.” I had nothing to hide from her. She could walk in any time of the day or night, and I would be happy to see her.

  She looked at the sincerity in my gaze before she gave a slight smile. “Okay.”

  “When are you going to say that to me?” I gave her unlimited access to me, and she still hadn’t mirrored that. “Or do you really want me to hand over your key?”

  A blush entered her cheeks like she was actually embarrassed by her previous reaction. “No. You already know you’re welcome…whether I say it or not.”

  “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Well…come and go as you please.” She rose on her tiptoes and grabbed the front of my shirt so she could pull me in for a kiss. She breathed into my mouth hard like the kiss burned her, lit her on fire all over again. Her fingers released my shirt, and she cupped my face, like she wanted more than the street could allow.

  My arms wrapped around her and gripped her tight, kissing her hard like I didn’t give a damn who saw. One hand gripped her ass, my fingers digging through her jeans to give her a squeeze she wouldn’t forget.

  When she pulled away, she looked at my lips before she kissed the corner of my mouth. “I’ll miss you…”

  I cupped the back of her head and rubbed her nose with mine. “Me too, baby.”

  After a long look, she finally turned away and got into her car.

  I watched her drive away.

  I squatted down in front of the safe, entering the long combination before I moved to the next step, pressing my palm against the screen to pick up my fingerprints and the webbed lines in the center of my palm. I’d replaced the old-school safe my brother used to use.