First Read online

  Ain’t that the truth.

  “At least, that’s what women tell me…”

  I wasn’t jealous, but I didn’t like thinking about all the women he was screwing. “Have you been fighting lately?” I sidestepped the awkward conversation and moved on.

  He let it go. “No. But I’ve been working out a lot.”

  “I can tell.”

  “You could tell better if I weren’t wearing clothes.”

  Now I shot him a pissed look.

  He smiled like he enjoyed getting under my skin. “Just saying…”

  “I’m not going to sleep with you, Liam.”

  “Why not?” he asked. “You’re lonely. I’m lonely.”

  “Our relationship is already so complicated.”

  “Then what’s the harm?” He dropped his smile and stared at me with that intense expression, just the way he did before he cornered me and ripped off my blouse. It’d been a long time since we’d been together, but those things hadn’t changed.

  I dropped my gaze and looked at my salad again. “I’m not going to sleep with you to get over someone else. It’s rude.”

  “It’s not rude if I don’t care.”

  “Well, I care.”

  “You could—”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I shut down the conversation and raised my hand to catch the waiter’s attention. “Thank you for dinner, but I think it’s time for me to go home.”

  He didn’t argue with me even though it looked like he wanted to. “Alright. I’ll walk you home.”

  27

  Damien

  “What the hell are you wearing?” I took the seat across from Catalina in the restaurant, looking at her short blue dress, enormous sunglasses, and pulled-back hair. “It’s almost October.”

  She took off her sunglasses and gave me that ferocious look she’d been giving me since she could crawl. Her thick lashes were full of mascara, and her bright eyeshadow made her look as if she were ready for a pool party. “I’m not ready to accept fall. I want to hold on to summer a little longer.”

  “Well, summer is long gone. The first official day of fall was last week—”

  “Shh.” She leaned over the table and placed her forefinger against my lips. “Don’t talk like that.” She leaned back and picked up her menu, as if she hadn’t just shoved her hand in my face. “I know I should get a salad, but I don’t want to… I can dance if I’m a hundred pounds heavier, so I don’t get all the rules.”

  “Stop dancing.”

  “I don’t want to do that either. I’ll retire when I turn thirty and order whatever I want then.” She closed the menu and dropped it on the table.

  “Why will you stop at thirty?”

  “Because I’ll be old and have to pop out some kids. We both know you aren’t going to do it. The responsibility falls to moi.”

  “Moi?” I cocked an eyebrow, surprised she still behaved like a diva. “I doubt you’ll find a guy who wants to have kids with moi.”

  She flashed me another glare. “So, what’s the reason for this special occasion?”

  “I’ve asked you to dinner before.”

  “Maybe on my birthday. And that’s fine, I don’t like you either.” She stuck out her tongue at me.

  “That isn’t why I don’t call more often. I’m just busy…”

  “I’m busy too, but I always text.”

  I couldn’t argue with that because it was true. She did check in with me pretty often, even if it was just sending a stupid animal video she thought was funny. I was the older brother, so I should do a better job of acting like one. “Are you seeing anyone?”

  “Are you seeing anyone?” she countered.

  “No need to get defensive. I was asking about your life.”

  “Do I ever ask about yours?” she asked. “Because it’s personal, and I know you’ll tell me if there’s something worth telling me about.”

  “So, nothing worth telling me about, then?”

  She shook her head. “Nah.”

  My sister had always been a character, and I loved her for it—when she didn’t annoy me. “So, some stuff happened with Dad…”

  “Oh my god, is he okay?” She dropped her diva persona and turned into a real person again.

  “He’s fine. I should have led with that. But I think it’s time he moved in with me, and he’s being stubborn as hell about it.”

  “Now you know where you get it from,” she teased. “So, what happened?”

  I didn’t want to scare her, so I lied. “Some guys broke in to his apartment.”

  “Fucking assholes.” She slammed both of her fists onto the table.

  “I took care of them, so it’s resolved. But I don’t think he should live alone anymore.”

  “I’ve been saying that for years. I tried to get him to live with me, but he said he’d rather die.” She rolled her eyes. “Rather die? Really?” She rolled her eyes again. “He was never this dramatic when Mom was around.”

  “I think that’s why he’s dramatic.”

  “Man, I miss her,” she said with a sigh. “Everything changed the day she was gone.”

  “Yeah…” It felt like yesterday. “I thought maybe we could both talk to him. Maybe if we gang up on him, he’ll cave.”

  “That could work.”

  She took a sip of her water. “But are you sure you want him to live with you? It’s not like you can just kick him out if you don’t like it. He could live with me too.”

  “It’s a big place. It’ll be fine.”

  “That’s right, you’re a rich boy.”

  It was my turn to roll my eyes. “He also has Patricia for help and company.”

  “Her cooking is good. He’ll be happy just with that. That works out better because I don’t want him to live with me.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Then why did you offer?”

  “Because he’s my father, and I’m happy to take care of him. It’s just a small apartment, and it would get awkward with sleepovers. I’d have to stay at their place all the time, and that would be just as awkward.”

  “Yes…awkward.” Like this conversation was.

  “Get over it,” she said when she picked up on my tone. “I’m a grown woman with needs.”

  I cringed and grabbed the menu. “This is why I don’t check in more often.”

  “Because your grown-ass sister has the same lifestyle you do? Sexist.”

  “No. I just don’t want to hear about my sister’s conquests. So, let’s just order and leave.”

  She stuck out her tongue at me again. “Whatever…”

  28

  Annabella

  Go home, Anna.

  But the cab stopped at the curb, and the driver waited for me to get out.

  I could just tell the driver to go back, but I didn’t want to leave.

  I finally got out of the car and moved to the front door. My finger dug into the cushioned doorbell, and I waited for someone to answer.

  Patricia opened the door, visibly surprised to see me standing there. “Annabella? How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

  I shouldn’t have expected her to know anything. I didn’t see why Damien would explain himself to his maid. “I was wondering if I could see him.”

  “Sure.” She invited me inside then grabbed her phone. “I’ll tell him you’re on your way up.”

  There was no going back now.

  I entered the room with the grand staircase and started my ascent to the top floor. It was a spiral stairway, the kind that went round and round until it reached the chandelier at the top. The crystals were bright with the light, and the white banister was smooth under my fingertips as I glided up.

  My heart was in my throat.

  My pulse was heavy in my ears, thudding like a war drum.

  I kept moving, my heart in the driver’s seat.

  I reached the top and the hallway that led to his bedroom. My long coat was unbuttoned, and my fingertips were sensitiv
e from the heavy pulse throbbing in every single vein in my hand.

  Insanity had driven me here. Desperation. Longing…deep longing. Maybe he didn’t need more to say goodbye…but I did. Moving on from him was harder than moving on from Liam, even though that made absolutely no sense.

  When I reached his door, he opened it.

  In black sweatpants without a t-shirt, he stood there, his eyes impossible to read. They were intense, just the way they used to be when he looked at me, but they were also disturbed, like he was afraid.

  I stopped in front of him…and just stood there.

  I couldn’t believe I was looking at him.

  He was as handsome as he was the last time I saw him. It’d been a month, but it felt like a second. A shadow was on his jawline from his scruff, and his lips looked like they hadn’t been kissed since me. His green eyes were those of an old soul, a man who had lived many lifetimes in very few years. He was better than I remembered him, so strong and beautiful.

  He said nothing, probably in utter shock to see me standing there.

  I’d prepared a speech, but now that our eyes were connected like this, every word left my brain as if it’d never been there in the first place. I couldn’t tell him I loved him, not when I knew he didn’t feel the same way. I couldn’t beg him to come back to me, not without hating myself. All I really wanted was a night…even if it was the last.

  I moved into him, seeing the way he didn’t step back. I gained more courage with our proximity, knowing he wouldn’t turn away. When my lips were almost on his, my fingers finally reached out and cupped his cheeks.

  My hands burned.

  I tilted his chin to mine and kissed him.

  The touch ignited my senses, reminded me that I hadn’t been crazy, that it was as good as I remembered. My fingers moved farther, sliding into his hair as I took a deep breath at our connection. My chest pressed against his, and I backed him up into the bedroom, returning to the place where I’d fallen in love with him.

  He kissed me back, his hand brushing through my hair like old times.

  It was better than I remembered. I kissed him harder, felt the fire from our raging passion. It pulled me under and burned me alive, brought me to a higher plane of existence that I hadn’t touched since he’d left.

  I wanted this…so much.

  His arm circled my waist, and he tugged me into his body as he kissed me, as he felt my cheek with his hard fingertips. His lips were seductive and soft but full of the masculine aggression that made me feel so desirable.

  I pushed my jacket off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground without skipping a beat.

  But that action made him pull away.

  He ended our kiss, took away the fire that had finally thawed my frozen soul. He stared at me with incredulous eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what just happened. His hands slid from my body, and he stepped back. He inhaled a deep breath then dragged his hand down his face, persecuting himself when he wasn’t guilty in the first place. “Annabella—”

  “I just want one night.” No one on this earth called me Annabella but him…and I missed that. He took the time to say every single syllable instead of needing to rush and go by a nickname instead. “I know you said you don’t want monogamy. But that doesn’t mean this can’t happen…” Why was I settling for less than I deserved? Why was I showing up here like a crazy person? I was the one who’d told him I didn’t want anything serious. Now I was the one who was so desperately in love, I’d completely lost control.

  “Annabella.” His eyes stayed on the floor while his hands moved to his narrow hips. He was quiet for a while, processing what he wanted to say before he lifted his gaze once more. “It’s over.”

  My lungs were both punctured by his knife, and I couldn’t breathe. His rejection stung like a swarm of wasps. Once again, I was embarrassed…and I had no one to blame but myself. Why did I have to come here? Why did I have to chase this man like my life depended on it?

  His gaze turned hard, ice-cold. “Don’t come here again.”

  I was gonna cry…cry my eyes out again.

  “Go.” He walked past me to the door and opened it wide.

  I didn’t turn around right away. I tried to understand what had happened. I walked through the door and kissed him…and he kissed me back. He kissed me back with the same passion and desire. But then he quickly changed his mind and kicked me out.

  Why?

  I finally found the courage to face him and walk out the door. I turned around again.

  He kept his hand on the knob so I couldn’t slip back in.

  “Why?” My humiliation was enough closure for me to move on and try to forget this happened, but I still felt like I was missing a piece of the story, like he was hiding something from me.

  “I told you why, Annabella.”

  “But I’m not asking for—”

  “I just want to move on, alright?” He turned harsh again, treating me like a stray dog that wouldn’t stop coming around for extra scraps. “I’m sorry I hurt you. But I’ve moved on, and you need to do the same.”

  The car ride happened in the blink of an eye.

  I stared at the streetlights through blurred vision. Red. Green. Red again. The shame and heartbreak mixed together and caused a burst of pure humiliation. He’d rejected me because he didn’t want me anymore. That connection I felt…it was all just me. That good sex…was just sex. I saw something that wasn’t there, fell for a man who couldn’t care less about me.

  God, I felt stupid.

  Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I didn’t even notice them. Didn’t even care.

  I should have listened to Sofia. Why didn’t I?

  Damien would tell her what I did, and then she would look at me like I was a crazy person too.

  Maybe I was a crazy person.

  Love made me crazy…and I wondered if I’d ever really loved Liam at all.

  I sure as hell hadn’t loved him like that.

  When he’d cheated on me, I didn’t fly off the rails and throw dishes across the room. I didn’t hunt down the woman so I could bitch-slap her. I didn’t throw his clothes out the window. I wasn’t spiteful. I was calm…totally calm.

  I wanted to be calm again. I wanted to be confident, self-assured, elegant. I wanted to be indifferent, to be chased instead of doing the chasing. I wanted a simple life, because reaching for something more…was stupid.

  And I would never be stupid again.

  The cab pulled up to the house and stopped.

  I stared at it for a few seconds before I handed over my cash and walked to the front door. It was dark, and the distant sound of thunder vibrated against the clouds. Rain had been in the forecast, and it began to sprinkle.

  I made it to the front door and knocked. This time, I didn’t feel embarrassed because there would be no rejection. I would be welcomed with open arms, be appreciated for the woman, the diamond I was told to be.

  The door opened, and Liam stood there, his eyes filled with unmistakable surprise. He’d pictured this moment a thousand times but never thought it would actually happen. I’d been gone for so long, and with every passing month, his chances dwindled. But I was there now…and he could hardly believe it.

  I’d cried over another man, and those tears stained my cheeks. I didn’t hide them because I couldn’t feel any more shame than I already did. Liam wanted me so much that he didn’t care about the conditions.

  As long as he got to have me.

  I moved into his chest, and he leaned in and kissed me.

  He didn’t respond right away, his lips soaking in my kiss until he understood what he was feeling. Then his hands were on me, his arm hooked around my waist as he kicked the door shut behind me. He backed me up into the wood and kissed me with the passion I was looking for, like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. His hands cupped my face, and he pulled back to stare at me, to appreciate the sight of my face in the dim entryway light. “I’m not gonna let you go this
time…”

  29

  Damien

  I got into the office late that day.

  Because I didn’t want to get out of bed.

  I never thought I could hate myself so much.

  But I did.

  Hades knocked on the open door before he stepped in. “You’ve got those numbers? And if you do, I hope they’re right this time.” Instead of talking to me with pure loathing, there was a teasing tone to his voice.

  “I’ll get them to you in an hour.”

  He stopped in front of my desk, his hands in his pockets. “What happened now?”

  What didn’t happen?

  “You pay Heath?”

  “Yeah. He got his money.”

  “Gonna take my advice?”

  I shook my head. “Probably not. He was a dick to me.”

  “You did turn his brother against him.”

  “Just for the night.”

  “Either way, it probably rubbed him the wrong way.”

  That was the least of my problems, ironically.

  “Something else?”

  “My sister and I agreed that my father should move in with me.”

  He sighed loudly. “That’s rough. Maria is a nice lady and she’s great with Andrew, but…not a fan of living with my mother-in-law. Sofia is my wife, but I feel like I’m the one crossing the line by sleeping with her every night.”

  That wasn’t what I was worried about. “There’s plenty of room for him. It’s getting him there that’s the problem.”

  “Yeah, he’s an asshole just like you.”

  I wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

  “Anything I can do to help?”

  I shook my head. “Thanks anyway.”

  He turned to walk out of my office. “I’ll be waiting for those numbers.”

  “Hades?”

  He turned back around.