The Scotch Royals: Book Three Read online

Page 19


  London didn’t satisfy my political and financial goals, but she made me happy in categories I’d never considered to be important. In turn, she made those previous goals seem negligible. I felt like an idiot for even considering marrying someone else. Seemed stupid to let a woman like London slip away. “I don’t want anyone else but London.” I didn’t care about Ariel’s reaction. I broke my promise to her, something I never did, but if she was a loyal friend she would let that go. This woman made me happy, and happiness was something I had never experienced before.

  Ariel looked at me with an unreadable expression, a purposeful poker face so she could hide her thoughts underneath her skin.

  London asked me what our future included, and at the time, I didn’t really have an answer. But if I offered her my commitment, wealth, and fidelity for the rest of my life, she would undoubtedly make the lifelong sacrifice to be my dutiful wife. She’d probably give up her career to be a mother to my children. “I intend to marry her, so we can forget Anna.”

  Ariel gripped her pen and pressed her lips tightly together. With a look of consternation, she sighed quietly and avoided my look. When she looked up again, she couldn’t hide the annoyance deep in her eyes. “Are you planning to propose soon?”

  I hadn’t thought about it until this moment. As time progressed, I began to understand what London meant to me. And now that everything hit me at once, I began to understand what I wanted for the rest of my life. There was no reason to wait. I didn’t need more time to know how well she completed me. “Yeah…I think so.”

  Ariel spun the pen with her fingertips.

  “I know you aren’t happy about this, but it would mean a lot to me if you could be supportive. Maybe the two of you could spend some time together and find a way to coexist.” London had enough influence to make Ariel stay in the first place, so there was hope they could reconcile.

  Ariel held my gaze in silence. Her annoyance was palpable, like heat rising to the ceiling. “I’m sure she and I could work something out.” She looked down at her folder, dismissing the conversation because that was the best support she could offer.

  And that was more than enough.

  When London was in the shower, I opened the safe behind the portrait and looked through the relics that had lasted hundreds of years. My ancestors had touched the prized possessions, their DNA possibly still on the metal from their oil secretions. Timeless and elegant, the ancient crown reminded me of where I’d come from. I knew the noble thing was to marry someone of equal status.

  But I wanted to be happy.

  I’d tried to do it the right way by choosing Josephine. She was the best woman at the time, and I’d managed to love her. But that love was never real, so neither was her loyalty. Didn’t it make sense to choose someone for deeper reasons than political gain? I never really knew my mother, but based on stories I heard about her, she would want me to be happy.

  I think she’d want me to marry for love.

  With the handkerchief, I pulled the artifacts out of the cabinet until I found the ring that had been passed down through every duchess until my mother received it. My father had given it to my mother, and she wore it every single day until she died. She probably would have been buried with it if the custom didn’t dictate it.

  Now it was my turn to give it to someone.

  I never gave it to Josephine because I intended to give it to her on our wedding day. I proposed with a slender band infused with rare diamonds as a placeholder. Now I was grateful for my decision in the past.

  Because this belonged to London.

  I dropped it in my pocket and returned everything to the safe before I locked it up again. I corrected the picture then left the room as the water still ran in the shower. Dunbar was downstairs at his post, so I walked up to him and handed the ring over. “Could you call Eleanor to come and clean this? I just want it to shine a bit more.”

  He took it in his large hand, examining the diamond before he closed his fist around it. “Of course, sir. When do you need it by?”

  “As soon as possible.”

  18

  London

  Crewe went to lunch with a client in town, so I spent the afternoon alone. Even though I was with him every morning and every night, any missed opportunity to spend time with him felt like a waste. I liked having lunch with him in his office or on the terrace. Sometimes we didn’t have anything to talk about, but that was perfectly okay.

  I changed into my active gear and walked downstairs to go for a run. I was restless and bored, and exercise was usually the only thing that could cure my jitters. Besides, sitting around all day was making me gain weight. I found myself eating less and less just to prevent that.

  I got to the bottom of the stairs when Ariel appeared. “Hello, London.”

  Yuck. That’s what I wanted to say. “Hey, Ariel. Is Crewe back?”

  “No. He’ll be out for another hour, at least.” She held her folder to her chest and walked me to the office. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  I knew exactly what she wanted to discuss. It was only a matter of time before Ariel pounced. “Sure.”

  We walked into his office, surrounded by the masculine power that existed even when he was absent. The brown and black tones echoed his personality perfectly. I was happy to see there wasn’t a bottle of scotch anywhere in sight. He was back to drinking a reasonable amount, the kind that wouldn’t give him cirrhosis of the liver.

  I took a seat on one of the leather sofas and crossed my legs.

  Ariel sat opposite of me and set her folder on the coffee table. She crossed her legs too, her calf muscle hard and defined below her dress.

  I waited for her to execute me.

  “I talked to Crewe.”

  “You talk to him a lot. What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She ignored my attitude. “He’s not interested in Anna.”

  He’s not? I expected him to be attracted to her the way everyone else in the room was.

  “Said he only wants to be with you.”

  My eyes automatically wanted to soften and my lungs to suck in a delightful breath.

  “I think if you weren’t corrupting his thoughts, he’d be able to think more clearly. Anna is perfect in more ways than one. Also, Crewe told me he’s going to propose to you.”

  Now I couldn’t hide my reaction at all. My hand moved up my chest, and the tears welled in my eyes. I had asked him about marriage once before, but he never gave me a concrete answer. Instead of caring for Anna, he was only interested in being with me. It gave me the kind of high I’d never felt before. But the higher I soared, the further I crashed.

  “So you need to leave now before he asks you.”

  She couldn’t be serious. “Are you crazy? Crewe told you he wants to spend his life with me. You really can’t just be happy for him and keep your pettiness to yourself?”

  She narrowed her eyes. “We made a deal, London.”

  “I’m aware. But you really haven’t changed your mind?”

  “No.”

  Cold bitch. “If I leave, Crewe will be miserable.”

  “He’ll get over it.”

  “Didn’t seem like he got over it last time.”

  “It’ll take time, but he’ll bounce back. He’s experienced far worse.”

  This woman was seriously evil. “I’m not sure if I can do it…”

  “If you do, I walk. That’s our arrangement.”

  Now I was back to square one. I had to do the right thing for Crewe or the right thing for myself. What would it be? “He’ll be devastated if he loses either one of us.”

  “I’ve known him for ten years. I’m family to him. You’re a woman he’ll forget in six months.”

  I couldn’t believe how terrible she was. It was unbelievable.

  “London, we made a deal. You can’t back out now. I don’t respect you, but I thought you were someone who kept her word.”

  “I do keep my word…”

  “The
n you know what you need to do, and you need to do it soon.”

  I refused to cry in front of Ariel. I refused to appear weak. But in that moment, I wanted to sob on his couch until my chest couldn’t heave anymore. I wanted to drown in my own sorrow and never recover. The warm tears burned behind my eyes, but I never let them streak down my face.

  Ariel must have sensed my depression because she silently excused herself from the room. “I know you’ll do the right thing, London. If you really love him, you’ll let him go. We both know you don’t deserve him.”

  Thankfully, Crewe went straight back to work when he came home, so I had a few hours to collect myself. I argued with myself continuously, wondering if I should keep or break my promise to Ariel. I loved him so much that I was willing to let Ariel walk away. But when I remembered how upset Crewe was the first time she left, I reconsidered.

  And I was the reason he had a scar on his chest.

  I was the reason he lost his men.

  I was the reason Ariel had almost been taken.

  After the way things turned out, I knew I didn’t deserve him. I had nothing to offer besides my love. Apparently, Crewe thought that was enough. But after a few years, the resentment would begin to sink in.

  Letting him go was my only option.

  I hated the idea of returning to America and starting over—for the second time. I hated picturing my wedding to a faceless man in a suit. I hated imagining my children, who looked nothing like Crewe.

  But I had to do it.

  I procrastinated for several days, much to Ariel’s displeasure. Every time I thought I could do it, I chickened out. I kept wanting to soak in every second that I had left with him. Our relationship had returned to the way it used to be—full of trust and affection. I would miss that when I slept alone.

  By the third day, I still hadn’t done it. I slept well with his muscular arms wrapped around me. I melted every morning when he kissed me goodbye. When we made love during his lunch hour, I was a woman in love. There were so many reasons to stay that sometimes I forgot why I was leaving in the first place.

  When Ariel had enough, she confronted me while Crewe was in his office. “London.” That’s all she said to me when she walked into my bedroom. In black heels and a black dress, she looked stuffy and sophisticated. Her appearance almost never changed.

  “I know.” I didn’t need to hear her pressure me again.

  “You obviously don’t know because you’re still sharing this bedroom with him.” She wasn’t nearly as calm as she was before. Now her attitude had fired up like a revved engine. “You’re playing a dangerous game with time right now.”

  Subconsciously, I hoped I could wait long enough to see him get down on one knee. I wanted to experience that moment even if it ended badly, as selfish as that was. “Get off my case, alright? You’re asking me to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

  “And if you can’t do it, I’m leaving now.”

  “Seriously, how does Cassandra put up with you?”

  Her eyes narrowed the second her girlfriend was mentioned. “That’s a road you definitely don’t want to take.”

  “How would you feel if you couldn’t marry the one person you loved?” I asked incredulously. “If Crewe didn’t accept your sexuality and made you choose? I distinctly remember him wanting you to be yourself. I distinctly remember him not giving a damn what anyone thought of you and supporting you. This is how you repay him?”

  She placed both hands on her hips. “Cassandra didn’t shoot me—”

  “I didn’t shoot Crewe.”

  “But you pretty much pulled the trigger. You lied and deceived him. Just because the two of you worked things out doesn’t erase the past.”

  “Maybe you should get over the past. Seems like everyone else has.”

  “The men haven’t killed you because Crewe ordered them not. Only reason why you’re safe. But they’ll hate you for as long as they live.”

  “You all sound pretty petty to me. I’m a good person with good intentions. You need to forgive me and let it go.”

  “Forgive you?” she asked. “I don’t forgive anyone who fucks with Crewe like that.”

  We’d already had this argument before, and I didn’t want to have it again. She was too cold even to understand what forgiveness was. I would always be condemned here. Even if I became his wife, I would never be welcome here. I couldn’t allow my children to witness them disrespect me. Maybe Crewe and I wouldn’t have worked out anyway. “I’ll leave, alright?”

  “When?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Actually tomorrow?” she asked. “Or are you just saying that?”

  “Tomorrow. I’ll call my brother and arrange for him to pick me up. Is that better?”

  She dropped her arms to her sides. “It’ll never be better until you’re truly gone. When he gets off work tomorrow, I want you to say your goodbyes and leave. Alright?”

  She punched me in the face when I tried to get Crewe to the hospital. I would love to return the favor, but I couldn’t sink to her level. She may look elegant in her clothes and glasses, but I was still the better woman—if you asked me. “Alright.”

  I wasn’t sure if I could make it through the night.

  It was my last evening with Crewe in the beautiful castle. We’d made so many memories here, infecting the halls with our laughter and kisses. I was the only woman who had slept on these sheets, and I wondered how long it would be before he replaced me with someone else, probably Anna.

  Crewe got undressed before he came to bed. In the nude, he slid under the sheets until we were close together. Immediately, his heat filled the sheets like a personalized heater. He kissed my shoulder and my hairline before he rested against me, his powerful body rising with every breath he took.

  As much as I loved to lie with him, I wanted more. We usually made love before we went to sleep, but we’d been having a lot of sex so he was more tired than usual. Based on the way he lay beside me, he didn’t have any intention of making a move.

  That wasn’t how I would spend my last night with him.

  I rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips, feeling his soft cock underneath me. I ran my hands up his chest, feeling the powerful slabs of muscle on either side of his spine. With no fat and smooth skin, he was beautiful. Even the scar over his left nipple was beautiful.

  Crewe’s cock hardened in response. “Figured you were tired.”

  I wouldn’t get any sleep tonight. “I’m never too tired for you.”

  His hands moved to my hips, and he rocked his cock through my folds. “You always know what to say, Lovely.”

  I groped my own tits as I stared into his eyes, my thumbs causing my nipples to pebble in response. I trailed one hand down my stomach and between my legs, rubbing my clit as my other hand remained on my chest. I never did these scandalous actions with other men because I was far too self-conscious. But the arousal in his eyes gave me the courage to do anything.

  His hands moved to my waist, and he gripped my sides aggressively, his eyes exploring my body even though he’d seen me a hundred times. His cock thickened as the seconds passed, reaching a combustive level. “Lovely.” His thumbs swiped across my nipples, and then he gripped my tits in his strong hands.

  I rubbed my clit harder, feeling his hard cock underneath me.

  He moved to my shoulders and pulled me down, forcing my lips to lock with his. He pulled my hand away from my clit and rubbed his cock right against my nub, giving me the perfect friction to make my body shake.

  He sucked my bottom lip into my mouth as he ground against me harder, trying to make me come without even being inside me.

  I always wanted an orgasm, but I wanted one with him buried inside me. I pulled away before my senses could be overly stimulated, and I slipped him inside my slit. The second I felt his massive length, I rolled my head back and moaned.

  His hands returned to my waist, and he guided me up and down, wanting me to bounce
on his cock just the way he liked. He loved to see my tits shake and my eyes roll to the back of my head. “Fuck…”

  My hands returned to my tits, and I touched myself for his benefit, doing all the things I knew he loved. I wasn’t a sexy person, but being sexy with him was easy. He was the kind of guy who made it easy.

  I reached behind me and cupped his balls with my hand, my fingers massaging his sac as I continued to rock him.

  His fingers dug into me harder, and he closed his eyes as he fought the urge to explode.

  The sight gave me an extra push that shoved me over the edge. As if I were on fire, my entire body burned white-hot. I screamed through the pleasure and clung to the sensation for as long as I possibly could, knowing I would miss it once I couldn’t have it again. “Give me your come. I want it.”

  “Yeah?” He rolled me onto my back and positioned himself on top of me, one of my legs over his shoulder while the other stretched out to accommodate him. He pounded into me harder, stretching my clit into a circle with every thrust he made.

  I gripped his arms and prepared for his load, knowing he was going to give me a ton of it—like usual. “Please, sir.”

  “Jesus Christ.” Three thrusts later, he hit his threshold and filled me. He shoved himself completely inside me so he could give me every drop. His need to pump all of his seed inside me always turned me on all over again.

  “Yes…” I ran my fingers through his damp hair and felt his cock start to soften when he was completely finished. I watched the tightness soften in his jaw and the satisfaction enter his eyes. He rarely pulled out of me to come on my body rather than deep inside me, and I knew it was his ultimate way to possess me.

  Not that I minded.

  His hand slid into my hair, and he kissed me hard even though we were finished. His tongue moved with mine before his kiss suddenly turned soft, nearly apologetic.

  My fingers wrapped around his wrist, and I felt his pulse, my favorite lullaby.