The Skull Ruler Read online

  I finally had my own space, and while the independence was a dream come true, I missed Balto’s apartment. That place was originally a prison, but it quickly became my home. The memories still haunted me from time to time, but I had to remind myself that was in the past.

  I would never go back there ever again.

  Now that Balto thought the baby was Lucian’s, he was probably back to his old ways. He paid for hookers left and right and got the closure he needed for our relationship. He didn’t want to be with me when I was only his. He would never want to be with me now that I was having another man’s baby.

  I stood in the kitchen and prepared dinner on the stove. I made shrimp scampi with a side of broccoli. The hot pan sautéed the food, and the steam rose in my kitchen. With one hand on my stomach, I pushed the food around with my spatula.

  The silence of my apartment wouldn’t last forever. Soon, there would be a baby screaming every hour and making a mess every other minute. But I was excited for the silence to go away, to hear the sound of my baby’s voice.

  The sound of the door lightly opening and closing registered in my ears. Since I’d become pregnant, my senses were heightened by a million. Instinctively, I checked for danger everywhere, even in my own home.

  My hand went to the burner, and I quickly turned it off so I could hear better.

  Heavy footsteps sounded in the living room.

  I knew it wasn’t either of my brothers. They wouldn’t pick the lock and help themselves inside like that. I had a gun in the kitchen, so I quietly slid open the drawer and pulled out the gun. My finger clicked the safety, and I turned around.

  Balto stood there. In a gray t-shirt that fit snugly across his chest and dark jeans that rode low on his hips, he had the same mercenary look as he did before. He didn’t look at the gun in my hand, as if it was insignificant.

  “How did you know I lived here?” I lowered the gun even though I didn’t approve of his behavior at all.

  He stood there, still and silent like a statue.

  “And don’t break in to my apartment like that again. Knock.”

  “If I knocked, you wouldn’t have answered.”

  “But at least I would have been prepared for you to break down the door.”

  The corner of his mouth rose slightly. “Making dinner?”‘

  “I was… Now I’m not hungry.” I set the gun on the counter.

  “Can I see that?”

  “Why?”

  He walked over to the counter and grabbed it himself. He examined it then checked the barrel to see if it was loaded. “That’s a good gun. Where did you get it?”

  “Case.”

  “Have more?”

  “They’re around the apartment. Don’t expect me to tell you where.”

  He smiled again. “Good answer.”

  I leaned against the counter and stared at him, waiting for an explanation for his unwelcome appearance. “Are you going to tell me why you’re here?” He was much calmer than he was last time, but his reaction would have been much different if Alessandro were there. He would have lost his temper all over again.

  He stepped closer to me, his eyes looking into mine with razor-sharp focus. He was the calm and self-assured man I remembered, someone in control of a situation even though he had no control over the people involved. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

  I’d never expected to see Balto again, but he was in my apartment at eight in the evening, looking at me the way he used to. Like I was his. I kept my arms tight over my chest, letting them rest on my distended stomach.

  “I don’t want you to be alone. The idea of you doing this on your own terrifies me.”

  I’d expected him to say something completely different, and when I didn’t get the answer I anticipated, the air left my lungs.

  “I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe—both of you. Living in an apartment by yourselves is too dangerous. Criminals pick on the weak and exploit them.”

  “What makes you think I’m so weak?” I asked, my nostrils flaring. “I had a gun loaded and ready when you walked in that door. I disarmed a bomb based on knowledge Lucian shared with me years ago. I kicked your brother’s ass when he was the one with a gun. Give me more credit than that, Balto.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What happens when there are several men? What happened when Lucian’s men attacked us in that restaurant? You ran as hard as you could, but there was no escape. I was the only thing standing in Lucian’s way. We both know I’m the only man in this world who will die for you, who will keep you safe from everyone and everything. Don’t you want that protection for your child?”

  Our child. “No. I’m not looking for a man for protection. I’m looking for a man for love. If I wanted protection, I could move in with Case again.”

  “But a man needs to provide both—love and security. I can do that.”

  “Really? Because you haven’t mentioned love once.” I cocked my head to the side.

  He stared at me, his gaze cold.

  “I’m not interested, Balto. I’m seeing Alessandro again on Saturday, and I’m looking forward to it.”

  The light slowly faded from his eyes, his disappointment vibrant like the colors of a painting. “I want to be with you.”

  “No, you don’t. Not in the way I want to be with you.”

  “If you love me, why are you seeing him?”

  “Because I like him. He’s not afraid to say how he feels. You think I want to be with a man who pities me? News flash, Balto. I’m perfectly fine on my own. I can raise my baby just fine. Lucian is gone, and there’s no one out there who wishes me harm. I don’t need you—at least not for that.”

  His nostrils flared as he listened to my rejection. It took him a minute to calm down, to organize his thoughts before he could phrase his next words. “I want to be with you, baby. I’m here because I’m miserable without you. I’m here because the idea of you and Chicken Boy drives me insane. I’m here because I don’t give a damn if that baby isn’t mine—I want to be there for you.”

  Finally, he said something actually meaningful. He was a man unafraid of anything, but when it came to his own feelings, he was completely crippled. “Why didn’t you start with that?”

  He stepped closer to me.

  “Because it’s impossible for you to confess how you feel—even to me. After everything we’ve been through together, it should be the easiest thing in the world.”

  “You want to know why it’s so hard?” His voice turned quiet, full of menace. “Let me tell you about the day my mother died. I was pissed at her, over something so stupid I can’t even remember what it was, and she told me she loved me, and instead of saying it back, I hung up on her.”

  My eyes softened as the pain pierced through every nerve.

  “So yeah, it’s pretty fucking hard for me.”

  He’d been carrying that guilt for the last ten years, and it still haunted him to this day. “Then you should want to say it now—because you might lose your chance.”

  “You know how I feel. I’m standing in front of you telling you I will raise this kid with you—”

  “Say it.”

  His eyes narrowed.

  “I don’t need your help. I don’t need your protection or your money. I need the man I love to love me back. That’s all, Balto. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”

  He bowed his head slightly, sighing to himself.

  “You really hurt me. The day you dumped me—”

  “I didn’t dump you,” he hissed.

  “Whatever. That’s how it felt. I said I loved you with my whole heart, and you pushed me away. You cut me with a knife and let me bleed everywhere. Then I came to your place to tell you I was pregnant and scared, and you wouldn’t let me say a fucking word because you were too busy telling me that you didn’t want me, that you wanted me out of your sight for good.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I shouldn’t have—”

  “And no
w it’s two months later, and the only reason you showed your face is because I was dating some other guy. You have no problem breaking my heart, but once some other guy shows interest, you act like I’m yours—and you’ve made it very clear you aren’t mine. Fuck you, Balto.”

  His eyes shifted with the insult.

  “You have no idea how difficult that first month was. I hardly ate, I didn’t sleep, and it was so hard…”

  “It was hard for me too—”

  “Obviously not. You could have made it end whenever you wanted. You couldn’t have been suffering much.”

  “Don’t tell me how I feel, baby. You have no idea.”

  I ignored what he said. “And these last two months have been terrible too. I’m in a better place now but still just as heartbroken as I was before. All of this heartache could have been avoided if you’d gotten your shit together. But you know what? You didn’t. Your feelings are insincere. You’re only scared because I’m moving on, moving on with this baby and my love life. That’s not how I wanted this to be. I wanted you to want me the way I want you. I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve. I’ve spent so many years with the wrong men, and I’m done with that.” I stepped around him so there would be space between us. “Leave, Balto. I’m done talking to you.”

  He stayed rooted to the spot, facing the opposite way. His breathing had increased as he digested all the emotions inside his chest. He slowly turned around and looked at me, his eyes focused on my face with sadness.

  I didn’t want him this way, and I wouldn’t change my mind. I wanted the Balto I’d had before, the man I had fallen for months ago. He was protective and attentive, giving me his fidelity long before I asked for it. He always made me feel wanted, always made me feel like the only woman who mattered. But then he threw all of that away without looking back. The last three months had been torture, and they’d happened because of him. I waited for him to tell me the three little words I wanted to hear—but they never came. I headed down the hallway to my bedroom so I wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. “Let yourself out.”

  28

  Balto

  I held the cool glass against my temple so the ice would numb my migraine. The scotch was supposed to do that for me, but my tolerance was so high, it was completely ineffective. The bar was quiet that night because it was a Wednesday at one in the morning.

  My brother drank beside me, his eyes glancing to the TV in the corner. “Now that it’s over, you ready to move on?”

  I stared at my glass, oblivious of the TV and the few people in the bar. They had nowhere to go, no one waiting at home for them. I wasn’t any different. “It’s not over.”

  Heath turned back to me as if he hadn’t heard me correctly. “Huh? I think she made it pretty clear she wants nothing to do with you.”

  “But she still loves me.”

  “What does that matter?”

  “It matters.” I drank from the glass. “Chicken Boy can’t compete with that. I can get her back. I know what I have to do. I’ve just been too much of a coward to do it.”

  “It’s three little words, Balto. You say them to me all the time.”

  “Not just that. I have to leave the Skull Kings.”

  He shook his head. “That’s a risky move. You could lose everything and not even get her back.”

  “Trust me, I will. I won’t give her a choice. I’ll pack up her shit and move her back in with me. What’s she going to do?”

  “Get pissed,” he said with a chuckle. “Like, really pissed.”

  “Well, I think she looks sexy when she’s pissed, so that’s fine with me.” I finished my drink and left the glass on the table. I could order another, but I had the strength to cut myself off. Drinking like a thirsty bull was a habit I had to break, especially if I was going to be a parent to Cassini’s kid. “I’ll appoint you as the next king. The men will vote on it. But Vox will oppose you. I promise you that.”

  “Yeah, I’ve always gotten that hunch.”

  “Watch out for him. The last thing I’m going to do before I leave is abolish the auction. You need to maintain that during your reign.”

  Heath stared at me as if he couldn’t believe a word I said. “Are you serious? That’s one of the easiest ways for the Skull Kings to make money. It’s our main attraction.”

  “Selling innocent women into slavery is wrong. We aren’t righteous men, but we’re principled. I’ve always killed men who deserved it and spared those who didn’t. The men respect me because I’m fair and just. But kidnapping those young women and selling them to psychopaths is a crime against humanity. I should have stopped it a long time ago, but I’m going to now. And you’re going to carry that on.”

  “Why the change of heart all of a sudden? You’ve been the king for five years.”

  I’d never cared about morality before. In my eyes, people became the predator or the victim. You had to choose—otherwise, life would choose for you. Those women didn’t make smart decisions and wound up as victims. But now that I loved a woman with my whole heart, I felt differently. She’d been sold to a man for years, been raped and abused for years. Now she was pregnant with his child, but she had too big a heart to terminate the pregnancy. She’d suffered enough, and I wouldn’t make a profit off those poor women to send them into a life anything like she’d been through. “Because Cassini was sold to someone. She’s never had any power, and if it weren’t for me, she would still be suffering. That woman deserves better. They all deserve better. How would you feel if you took the wrong route home and were grabbed by a group of guys? You’re outmatched and can’t possibly fight them off. Then they sell your pussy to a psychopath. You’re raped and beaten every day. How would you feel, Heath?”

  He held my gaze but never answered.

  “The auction is over. That’s final.”

  “There will be consequences.”

  “Don’t care. We make money in lots of different ways.”

  “But it’s vital for networking.”

  I turned to him, disappointment in my gaze. “What kind of man do you want to be, Heath? Do you want to be a man like Lucian? Someone who preys on the weak? Or do you want to be a man who fights men his own size?”

  “The auction is irrelevant to me. I don’t care if it stays or if it goes. But it affects the entire ecosystem of our organization. Do I think selling a human being for profit is right? Obviously not. But just because we stop doing it doesn’t mean other people will stop. We’ll lose those clients.”

  “If that’s all they care about, I don’t want them to be our clients anyway.”

  Heath faced forward and grabbed his drink. “You just feel that way because you’re leaving.”

  “No. I’d feel that way regardless. So, do we have a deal or not?”

  He nodded. “We’ll need to introduce something else, something to distract them from losing the auction.”

  “Not a bad idea.” He was already thinking like a king.

  “What about Miss Lightning?” he asked. “Maybe we could substitute her for the auction. Our clients can pay for a night, not buy them for a lifetime. It’s not the same, but the women are definitely worth top dollar.”

  I nodded. “That’s a really good idea. Talk to Miss Lightning about it.”

  “I will.”

  Working with her might solve all our problems. The Skull Kings wouldn’t let go of the auction easily, but if we had something good to replace it, they would shut their mouths. And if they could enjoy the women themselves…then they definitely wouldn’t have a problem. The best way to get a man to shut up was with pussy.

  “I want to keep my mouth shut and let you do whatever you want. But are you sure you want to do this?”

  “What, exactly?” With both arms resting on the table, I stared straight ahead, resisting the urge to order another scotch.

  “The baby isn’t even yours. Why would you want to be with a woman knocked up by some other guy?”

  It wasn’t ideal, and I wo
uld struggle to accept the kid for a while. When he had his own personality, perhaps I would stop comparing him to his father. I’d never wanted kids, and now I was signing on to be a stepfather.

  “I wouldn’t be interested in that. It doesn’t sound like something you would be interested in either.”

  I didn’t have a strong counterargument. My decisions were based on emotion and nothing else. “I love her, Heath. You said it yourself that I’ve been miserable without her. Months have gone by, and I haven’t even been with anyone else. I continue to rule the Skull Kings, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. I feel empty…like I’m missing something. I wish she weren’t pregnant, but I love her enough not to care. All I want is for her to be safe, and I want to be the one to make sure she is. I can provide for both of them. I can be a father to that kid since his own father was worthless. It’s not ideal…but I can’t live without her.” I didn’t know why I could say that so easily to my brother but not to her. She wanted me to tell her how much I loved her, but I still lacked the strength. Once I crossed that bridge, there was no going back. She knew that—which was why she wouldn’t cave until she got what she wanted. She would know I would be there forever.

  Heath looked into his glass and shook the ice cubes around. “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind.”

  “I have.”

  “Then I’m happy for you.” He extended his hand to shake mine. “You couldn’t have found a better woman.”

  I grasped his palm and shook his hand. “Yes…I couldn’t have found a better queen.”

  29

  Balto

  It was almost eight in the evening when I arrived on his doorstep and knocked. He had an iron gate that sectioned off his property from the road, but breaking the chains with the bolt cutter wasn’t difficult.

  I listened to the sounds of his footsteps as he approached.

  Case looked through the peephole before he opened the door, a pistol hanging by his side. “Have you ever heard of a phone? I would have opened the gate for you.”