Buttons & Hate Read online

  My productivity wasn’t nearly what it used to be.

  I liked having the control, the dominance. I called the shots and rolled the dice. It was my way or no way. But sometimes her temper flared up and she looked at me with those bossy eyes. I let her take over because I liked being dominated once in a while. And she was exceptionally good at it.

  Jasmine avoided me. If she needed something from me she sent an insincere email. She suspected Button was in my office, hovering over me like a guard dog. And she would be right.

  As the weeks passed, Button got progressively better. Her bruises started to fade and the rosy tint to her cheeks I once adored returned. She didn’t ache from old pains. She walked on her own and took the stairs at a normal pace. She wasn’t back to what she was before but she wasn’t worse either. There were a few scars along her abdomen, hardly noticeable unless you knew they were from there. The surgeon had to cut her open to save her life.

  And thankfully she pulled through.

  In a very short amount of time, Button became my whole world. I’d known for nine months, and the time passed in the blink of an eye. She came to me as a prisoner, but I quickly realized I’d become the prisoner.

  I belonged to her.

  She was the only woman who had any power of me. If she wanted something, I would take care of it. There was nothing I would do for her. If she asked for a piece of the sun I would figure out a way to give it to her.

  Sometimes it scared me.

  The connection was intimidating because of the power in contained. If she walked away from me, I would be crippled. If she decided she wanted to return to America, all I could was watch her leave. My life without her would never be the same. Without even realizing, I’d become attached.

  Sickly attached.

  She slept in my bed every night and rode my cock in the morning. She called my name when I made her come. She kissed me every night before bed and every morning before work.

  And she made me drop to my knees.

  What the fuck happened to me?

  “Are you alright?” Button held the closed book in her hand and she watched me with concern.

  “Fine.” My previous thoughts drifted away like smoke from a fire. “Why?”

  “You’ve been staring at me for nearly ten minutes.”

  “I always stare at you.”

  “This was different.” She set the book on the table and turned her body toward mine.

  I sat behind the desk at the vineyard, thinking about things I shouldn’t. When I was at the property I was supposed to work, not consider my feelings for my lover. Was she my lover? “Have a lot on my mind.”

  “Maybe you should call it a day.”

  “Maybe.” I turned off the iPad and stowed everything inside my desk.

  “Anything I can do?” She came behind me and rubbed my shoulders, relaxing the tense muscle underneath the fabric.

  “You can lay at the foot of the bed when we get home.”

  “Ooh...sounds good to me.”

  I left the desk and grabbed my jacket from the coat rack. “Ready to go?”

  “Yeah.” A sexy grin was on her face, her mind elsewhere. “I’m just not sure if I can wait until we get home...”

  ***

  “Can I ask you something?” She spoke from the passenger seat.

  She always asked me questions on the drive, probably because she knew I couldn’t get away. “Yes.”

  “You like it when I call the shots?”

  I knew she was referring to our reversal of roles. It happened rarely, but when it did it was hot. She wouldn’t let me come until she was completely satisfied. And even then, she made me work for it. The brutal way she pushed me around like I was doormat turned me on. “Sometimes.”

  “Have you...ever done that with someone else?”

  Never. “No.”

  “I’m the first woman to take control?”

  “One and only.”

  She looked out the window and processed what I said.

  “You like it. I can tell.”

  “I do.” She admitted it without a fuss.

  “Having the kind of power is exhilarating. It can get addicting.”

  “You don’t say?” A slight smile was on her lips. “I’m surprised you let me do it to you. You seem like a man who...hates letting someone take over.”

  “You’re right. I do hate it.” I followed the road until we approached the estate. I could see it in the bottom of the valley, waiting for us to arrive. “But with you I enjoy it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re strong. I’ve never met a strong woman before.”

  “You could easily overpower me.”

  “You don’t have to be large to be strong. Strength comes from a place deep inside us. It’s the ability to deflect pain, to persevere when failure hits in the face like cold rain. It’s refusal to break under someone else’s reign. It’s a lot of things. Size is irrelevant.”

  She turned back to me, a thoughtful expression on her face. “You’re strong too.”

  Not as strong as I wanted to be. My past haunted me every day. My regret choked me and refused to let go. I would be forever terrorized by the things that couldn’t be changed. Button had experienced her fair share of heartbreak but she continued to carry on. I just passed through life, my heart and soul locked up tight so no one could ever get in. “You ask a lot of questions.”

  “I’m a curious person.”

  “Nosey, more like it.” The corner of my mouth rose so she knew I was joking.

  She gave me a gentle pinch in the side. “Shut up.”

  I tickled her back. “You shut up.” I pulled into the roundabout and allowed my valet to take the car. My arm immediately went around Button and I walked inside the estate I shared with her. It was a big place for once person. Somehow, it was even bigger for two people.

  “So...can I lead when we get to the bedroom?” She moved into my side as we took the stairs to the top floor.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Dominance isn’t something you can ask for. You have to take it.” Listening to her ask for control was a turn off. I liked it when it came from nowhere, where she demanded to have me right then and there. That’s when I let my walls down and I allowed her to control me. I trusted her to please me, to make me feel good in ways I never thought were possible. I’d tried enough new things with her to trust the new things we would experience together.

  ***

  She lay on top of me, her small body resting against mine. Her fingers ran through my hair and her face hung over mine. Her hair fell to one shoulder and tickled my shoulder.

  The sex was done and now we started at each other. I liked it when she lay on top of me. Her tits always felt comfortable when they were pressed against my chest. When they hardened I knew she was ready for another round.

  Her eyes were glued to mine and she stared at me with a thoughtful expression. Her fingers slowly twirled my shirt hair and she got lost in her actions. Sometimes a small smile would stretch across her face, remembering something with fondness.

  I was just as entertained staring at her. The bruises were mostly absent from her face, so now her blue eyes sparkled in contrast to her fair skin. Her lips were no longer swollen from abuse, but my kiss. My hand explored the steep curve of her back, feeling the soft skin as my fingertips dragged across it. I’d never watched a woman so intently after being satisfied. Normally, I walked away and moved on with my day. But now I was content lying just like this. “Hmm?”

  “Hmm what?”

  “You’ve got a staring problem.”

  “Me?” she asked. “I’m only staring because you were staring at me first.”

  “Whatever you say, Button.” I listened to the fire crackle and pop behind me. The flames danced in the fireplace, slowly fading to embers. The sound was essential for me to sleep. Without it, the silence was too deafening for me to handle.

  “So, when do you work out?”<
br />
  I was puzzled by the question. “Excuse me?”

  “You’re so lean and strong. How do you stay in shape?”

  “I run in the morning. You know that.”

  “But you haven’t done that in months.”

  It was true. I let my exercise regiment slip away once she became my primary obsession. “I guess all the sex keeps me in my prime.”

  “Then why don’t I have a perfect body?”

  A smile formed on my lips even though I tried to stop it. “Who says you don’t?”

  “Me. I’ve got love handles, thunder thighs, and flabby arms.”

  A laugh escaped my lips because it was ridiculous. “Flabby arms?”

  “Yeah.” She lifted her arm and shook it. “See how it moves?”

  “That’s skin.”

  “It’s still saggy.”

  “And what are thunder thighs?”

  “When I wake they shake. You know, like thunder.”

  It was just as ludicrous as the last complaint. “Button, you’re insane. None of those things are true.”

  “Yeah, they are. I look in the mirror every day.”

  “And I fuck you every day.” Her self-image was preposterous. She was the sexiest woman I’d ever had in my bed. “My opinion triumphs.”

  “No, it doesn’t. All you notice are my tits and ass.”

  “Those aren’t the only things that make a woman sexy. It’s everything combined together. It’s the hair, the lips, the eyes...not just the obvious parts.”

  “Then what do you find most sexy about me?” She rested her arms on my shoulders to hold herself up.

  “Hmm...that’s a hard one.”

  “I already know what you’re going to say.”

  “Really?”

  “My pussy. You love that thing.”

  I chuckled. “I do. But no, that’s not what I was going to say.”

  “Then what?”

  I tried to think of the things that turned me on the most. Sometimes it was the movement of her soft hair. Sometimes the shape her mouth made when she screamed my name. Sometimes it was the tight muscles in her back when she on all fours underneath me. There were too many things to choose. But when I narrowed it down to one concept, one idea, I found my answer. “You.”

  “Me?” she asked. “That’s not an answer.”

  “I mean, who you are. What you say. How you behave. You.”

  Her eyes narrowed, still puzzled. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

  “Your fire. Your passion. Your ferocity. Your strength. All those things make up who you are. So, I guess my answer is you.”

  Her confusion faded away when she understood what I was trying to say. Her eyes softened in an affectionate way, touched by my words. She gave me this look before and it pushed me away. It made me so uncomfortable I avoided her for a week. But now I enjoyed it. It brought me a sense of joy I’d never known in my lifetime. “I love—”

  Lars knocked on the door. “Sir, I’m so sorry to disturb you but can I have a moment of your time?” He never came to my room unless it was important. After dinner he left me in solitude for the rest of the evening.

  I moved Button over and got off the bed. I pulled on my sweatpants and t-shirt before I stepped out into the hallway. Instead of being irritated with my butler I gave him the benefit of the doubt. “What is it?”

  “Come with me.” He nodded toward the hallway and we walked until we were out of earshot.

  That wasn’t a good sign.

  He stopped at the end of the corridor, his hands still tucked behind his back. “The police are here.”

  My blood went ice-cold.

  “And they’re looking for Miss Pearl.”

  Now my heart stopped altogether. “What did you tell them?”

  “I said I didn’t know anything and I would retrieve the owner of the estate.”

  I kept my body calm and my face stoic. Panicking wouldn’t solve anything. “Did they say anything else?”

  “No. Just have a few questions for you.”

  I paced in front of him, rubbing the back of my neck. I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. Did they trace her back to my estate? Did someone tip them off? Was it Bones?

  “Sir, they’re waiting.”

  “I know.” Was someone still looking for her? She didn’t have family and Jacob certainly didn’t give a damn. Then who was it? “I’ll be right there.” I walked back to the bedroom and saw her lying on the bed where I left her.

  When she saw the look on my face she knew something was wrong. “What is it?”

  “The police are here. They’re looking for you.” I told her she could leave when she wanted, but now her chauffeur was right at the door. All she had to do was walk out and she’d be returned home. She could tell them I held her against her will and throw me in prison for a long time.

  “There are? How did they know I was here?”

  “I’m not sure. But I’ll figure it out.”

  She rose to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest, standing there naked. “What do we do?”

  “It’s up to you. If you want to walk down there and leave I won’t stop you.” If she wanted to extract her revenge she could. Nothing was in her way now.

  “Walk down there?” she asked quietly. “I don’t want them to know I’m here.”

  My eyes widened in surprise. I tried to keep my expression under control but I couldn’t. Her escape route was right outside my front door but she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay right here—with me. “You’re sure?”

  Hesitance came into her eyes. “Who’s looking for me?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I just...I’ve been gone for nine months. Anyone who was concerned about me would have given up by now.”

  I had the same thought. “Maybe they stopped looking eight months ago but some lead turned up and they decided to check it out.” I wouldn’t know until I spoke with them.

  “Yeah...maybe.”

  “You want me to tell them you aren’t here?” I needed clear confirmation before I went through with it. She was no longer my prisoner, but my equal. Her ticket back to America was right outside. If she wanted to take it, she had every right to.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re sure?”

  She nodded. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

  She was looking for me? “Don’t worry about me. I can handle the police. If you want to leave, do it.”

  Her eyes fell in disappointment. “Do you want me to leave...?”

  “Of course not. If I had it my way you’d be stuck in this house for the rest of your life. But you aren’t my slave anymore. If you want to leave...I don’t want to get in the way.”

  “I don’t. And I don’t want you to be taken by the police.”

  “Alright. Then I’m going to go down there.”

  She nodded.

  “Last chance.”

  “I’m sure.”

  I gave her one final look before I turned to the door. I took my time just incase she changed her mind. But a protest never happened. She let me go without another word.

  She wanted to stay.

  ***

  The police asked routine questions in their missing persons investigation. They had a picture of Pearl. She was young in the photo, probably in college at the time. They didn’t seem to suspect I had her in the house. All they wanted to know was if I’d seen her in Tuscany. A lot of my employees lived in wine country so they asked I make a statement at my distribution centers the following day.

  And that was it.

  But I did ask the question I wanted to know. “Her parents must be worried sick. Are they the ones encouraging this investigation?” I couldn’t outright ask the question without looking suspicious.

  “No. Not a family member.” They didn’t elaborate before they left. That was all they gave me before they walked back to their police cars and got off my property.

  Their lack of answer just made me p
aranoid. Who called them to my home? Was it someone I knew? Possibly Cane? Was it someone else? I hated not getting my way, and being left with questions instead of answers infuriated me.

  “I don’t think they’re suspicious,” Lars said. “Perhaps their intuition isn’t as good as the police claim.”

  I wasn’t in the mood to talk. “Good night, Lars.”

  “Good night, sir.” He gave me a slight bow before he entered the kitchen.

  I walked to the top floor and entered the bedroom. Button sat at the edge of the bed, wearing my t-shirt and boxers. Her arms were folded close to her chest and she stared at the fire, the fear in her eyes.

  I shut the door and announced my presence.

  Her eyes were on me instantly. “What happened?”

  “They just asked routine questions.” I removed my clothes then sat beside her.

  “That’s it?” she asked incredulously.

  “They’d asked if I’d seen you around Tuscany, and they asked me to share your absence with my employees. I employee a lot of people in Tuscany and the cops thought it would be a good way to spread the word.”

  “They’re still looking for me nine months later?”

  “I’m just as surprised.”

  She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. “Who called on the search?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that. “I don’t know. When I asked they didn’t give me an answer.”

  “I have no idea who it could be.”

  My suspicion immediately went to Cane but what did he get out of that? If the police extracted her and shipped her off to America we would lose our only leverage. Unless he had an alternative plan? I wasn’t sure.

  She turned to me, tucking her hair behind her ear. “What do you think?”

  “I’m not sure...but I suspect Cane has something to do with it.”

  “What would he get out of it?”

  “I don’t know. But I can’t think of any other possibility. He’s the only person who knows you’re here.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ear again. “If it was him I’m going to punch him right in the dick.”

  “You should punch him in the dick anyway.”

  “What are we going to do?”