Buttons and Grace Read online

  Cane was probably there to talk about business. He knew when I was going to be home and decided to bombard me right away. Being unemployed wasn’t suitable for him. The only reason I put up with it was because I knew he was going through a hard time.

  We walked into the dining room and found Cane enjoying a glass of wine.

  “Coming around?” I asked as I sat across from him.

  He took another drink then shrugged. “I guess. Not so bad.”

  Button sat beside me and helped herself to a fresh piece of bread. “How’s the butler coming along?”

  Cane swirled his wine around. “That man is a godsend. I understand your fascination with Lars.”

  “We aren’t fascinated by him.” I poured myself a glass of wine. “We just appreciate him.”

  “We should have our butlers battle and see who wins,” Cane said. “My money is on Gerald.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Button asked. “Lars has served your family since you were born. He’s put up with a ton of bullshit, so my money is on him. Gerald’s patience will be tested the longer he works for you.”

  “True,” Cane said. “I am a big pain in the ass. He likes Adelina, though.”

  “Because she’s lovely.” Button knew Cane was treating Adelina well, so she didn’t ask any questions about it.

  “How was the doctor?” Cane asked. “You guys are in good spirits, so I guess it went well?”

  “Yeah,” Button answered. “Crow was a little paranoid, but everything was fine.”

  “Why are you surprised?” Cane asked. “Crow is paranoid about everything.”

  “For a reason,” I said coldly. Being paranoid saved my life a few times—and my wife’s.

  Button had a glass of water because that was all she could drink. “How are things going with Adelina?”

  Cane suddenly looked miserable once the question was asked. “She’s leaving on Friday. I bought her a ticket.”

  Button’s face fell in sadness, and I was disappointed too. Adelina was a nice woman, and she complemented my brother well. But she deserved to be free like everyone else. If it was meant to be, she would come back to him. “I’m sorry, man.”

  Cane refilled his glass even though he hadn’t finished it and drank more. “It’s shitty. But there’s nothing I can do.”

  “There’s still hope,” Button said. “There’s always hope.”

  “I don’t know,” Cane said. “She was close with her parents. I know she wants to see them. And even if she wanted to come back, we can’t have a future. Her parents hate me, as they should. Her friends will hate me. She would never leave them behind to stay with me, and I would never move there either. It’s the definition of hopeless.”

  I couldn’t contradict any of that logic. She would have to turn her back on the only life she’d ever known to live across the world. The trip was too far to receive visitors often. She might see her parents once a year. But they would never approve of her running off with a criminal like Cane. They would ask her to see a therapist before they let that happen.

  “I didn’t stay with Crow just because I had nothing else,” Button said. “I stayed because it felt like home. When I was back in New York, everything felt the way it used to. I worked, walked down the same streets I’d always known, and ate at my favorite places. But it was too normal. Jason looked at me like I was damaged goods, about to fall apart right in front of him. Ordinary lives now seemed boring to me. I didn’t belong there anymore. I think Adelina will see that. She’ll be upset that she can’t go back. But once she stops fighting it, she’ll give in.”

  Cane sighed as he looked into his glass. “I hope so. She basically said she loves me but doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to because she’s not willing to give up everything to stay here with me. But I guess I understand…”

  When it came to Button, I had her wrapped around my finger within a few months. She told me she loved me, but I was the one who pushed her away. Once I allowed my heart to truly cherish her, there was no going back. My soul had committed to her for the rest of my existence. Like it was etched in stone forever and permanent, I couldn’t stop even if she asked me to. It didn’t surprise me that Adelina refused to say it. Once she did, Cane wouldn’t let her leave. And she wouldn’t want to leave either. “You know we’re here for you.”

  “Yeah,” Cane said. “I know.” He poured another glass of wine and downed it like water.

  I eyed his movements. “Not piss anymore, huh?”

  “I don’t care at this point,” Cane said. “I just need booze, and Lars wouldn’t give me the good stuff.”

  * * *

  Button came up behind me as I pulled off my shirt and tossed it on the floor. Her hands moved down my back, feeling the lines of muscle on either side of my spine. She pressed a kiss to the center of my back, her fingers caressing me. “How do you feel?” Her hand moved over the incision point, where there was a faint scar.

  “Fine.”

  “What about your ribs?”

  “Hardly feel them anymore.” It took me a while to get back on my feet. I still hadn’t started running because I didn’t want to push it, but I was finally able to get around the house and go back to work.

  “Good.” She kissed me again. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Enough about me.” I turned slightly and looked over my shoulder at my small wife. Over a foot shorter than me with beautiful brown hair and a sexy curve to her hips, she was perfect. I’d been with women from all over the world, but not a single one compared to her. Button was perfect in so many ways that existed underneath the skin. She was the strongest person I knew, absolutely fearless, and she would do anything to protect me—just the way I would for her. “The only thing we need to be thinking about is Little Barsetti.” My hand moved to her stomach over her shirt.

  “Little Barsetti is fine, so we don’t need to worry there. And is that what we’re going to keep calling them?”

  “Yeah.”

  She smiled. “It’s cute. Do you have any real names in mind?”

  “No.” I’d only just grasped the idea that, in a few months, it wouldn’t be just the two of us anymore. I imagined a baby, not necessarily a boy or a girl. I was going to be a father, and that meant my paranoia would reach new heights. “Do you?”

  “Actually, yes. If it’s a girl…Vanessa.”

  I stilled at her words, feeling her fingertips still touching me. The name brushed over my skin and elicited memories I would never forget. Cane and I teased Vanessa all the time when we were growing up, but we were also immensely protective of her. On her first date, we’d threatened to rip the guy’s throat out and then dig out everything else. Sometimes I thought about her, and it was always with a twinge of sadness. I missed her.

  I slowly turned the rest of the way around and came face-to-face with Button. “Vanessa, huh?”

  “What do you think?” she whispered. “Would be a nice way to keep her around…”

  My fingers moved underneath her chin, and I directed her gaze higher, making her lock eyes with me. “You would do that?” I was certain Button had different names she loved, but she knew how important my sister was to me—even if I never mentioned her. It shouldn’t surprise me that Button would offer something like this. She did a lot for me—things I took for granted.

  “Of course. I think it would be nice. Do you like it?”

  “I love it.” My palm moved to her cheek, feeling the soft and delicate skin. A hint of blush was in her face, contrasting against those pretty blue eyes.

  “Then it’s settled. All you need to do is check with Cane.”

  “Why would I check with him?”

  “Maybe he was planning on naming his daughter Vanessa.”

  “Let’s not jump the gun. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never had kids.”

  “There’s hope…”

  “There’s always hope. But that doesn’t mean it’ll happen.”

  * * *

  I sat in my s
tudy and went through the files left on my computer. My client list was still up to date from the weapons business. I had every name, rendezvous point, and unlimited details about the people I did business with. It didn’t make sense keeping it all, so I considered deleting it.

  But that wasn’t so easy.

  I wasn’t as attached to the business as Cane was. I was only a partner because he asked me to be one. It was a monster too big for a single person to tackle, so having both of us made it a lot easier. But I didn’t like the association it had with my father.

  I didn’t hate my father, but I didn’t exactly respect him either.

  I never cared that he made his money in criminal ways. It was the reason I had clothes on my back and food on the table. It was the reason I lived in a three-story mansion surrounded by vineyards and countryside.

  But I cared about the way he’d treated my mother. He screwed other women on his own time, took advantage of women who didn’t have any rights. My mother knew about the cheating, but that never stopped my father.

  He betrayed his family.

  That was why I didn’t respect him.

  No matter what obstacles would come our way, I would never do that to my wife. I would never take another woman and rip her apart. Button was my life, and she deserved nothing but my full commitment. Occasionally, I wanted something darker, to make marks on her skin with my whip, but I certainly wouldn’t run off and get it somewhere else.

  Saying goodbye to this business wasn’t difficult for me.

  It was time for it to come to an end.

  It was time for Cane and me to make our own legacy, to make the Barsetti name mean something new. I was starting a family, and now I was living a civilian life with civilian rules. I still had guns stashed around the house, and I would never stop looking over my shoulder, but everything needed to change.

  Hopefully, Cane would realize that. If he had Adelina to settle down with, that could have been a possibility.

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.

  A light knock sounded on my door before Button opened it. She saw me sitting at my desk, a decanter of scotch and a glass of ice cubes prepared for me to enjoy. I was drinking again because nothing else would quench my thirst for scotch. I’d known it was my drink since the first time I had it at sixteen.

  She slowly approached my desk, wearing one of my black t-shirts that reached her knees. She eyed the amber liquid on my desk but didn’t swat me on the nose for it. She hopped up on the edge of the desk and rested her feet on my thigh.

  My hand circled around her calf, feeling her smooth legs.

  “What are you doing in here?” Her legs were slightly parted, revealing the black thong she wore underneath the shirt.

  I shut the laptop and grabbed my drink. “Just some work.”

  “What kind of work?”

  “Going through our old clients. Constantine must have made it clear we were no longer associated with the business but everything would run just as smoothly.”

  She tilted her head to the side, watching me with her knowing gaze. “Are you alright with that?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re sure about that?” She picked up on my moods like she could feel them through her skin.

  I took a drink before I set the glass down. “I understand why Cane has such a hard time with it. It belonged to our family. Now it belongs to someone else. It was our legacy, something one Barsetti handed down to another. Now I have my own Barsetti coming along…makes me think of what I’ll leave them when I’m gone.”

  “Why are we thinking about that?” she asked. “You and I will both be around for a very long time.”

  “I know. Just makes me wonder what kind of legacy I want to build. Cane and I can have the wine business. It’s honorable. It’s clean.”

  “It doesn’t break the law,” she said with a smile.

  “So perhaps this can be our new legacy. Maybe the Barsettis can have a new start. Maybe we can be remembered for something else.”

  “Exactly,” she said. “I think that sounds great.”

  “I hope Cane agrees. I know losing the business and losing Adelina have been difficult for him.”

  “When the baby comes, he’ll have something to look forward to.” She crossed her legs and leaned forward, staring down at me. “And Adelina will come back.”

  “We don’t know that.”

  “I think she will.”

  “They aren’t us, Button,” I whispered.

  “No, they aren’t. But she and I are the same. There’s no going back after what we’ve been through. No one will ever understand. No one will ever know how to treat us. Only you and Cane seem to get it. She’ll realize that—and then she’ll come back.”

  Chapter 18

  Adelina

  After I packed my bags, we put them in the car then drove away from the house.

  I stared at it the entire time until it was completely gone from sight. I wanted to remember the stone walkway, the cobblestone walls, the large furnace in the front of the house. I wanted to remember the roses right out front, the large Mediterranean windows that overlooked the acres of property he owned. I’d never forget the view out my bedroom. Looking out was the first thing I did every single morning.

  Now I would never see it again.

  Cane was silent on the drive, one hand on the wheel while the other rested on the gearshift. He wore all black, his signature look. He didn’t seem upset by my departure, but his feelings were hidden underneath that stoic expression. The radio was off, so it was just the two of us in tension-filled silence.

  I didn’t know what to say since it was painful for both of us. Goodbye was too difficult. And to make small talk like nothing was happening was insulting. So I didn’t say anything back, my eyes focused out the window.

  He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers while his eyes remained glued to the road.

  I refused to let myself cry.

  Twenty minutes later, he arrived at the international airport. He pulled over into a spot right at the terminal and put it in park. People unloaded their cars and passengers walked through the automatic doors so they could catch their flights. Everyone had somewhere to go, all in a hurry.

  Cane stared forward until he opened the glove box and pulled out a stack of paperwork. “Here’s your ticket.” He set it in my lap. “I arranged for a car to pick you up. They’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

  “Thank you.” He’d already done so much for me, and even now, he was still taking care of me.

  He handed me more paperwork. “I opened an account in your name in America. It has enough to get you whatever you need.”

  “What does that mean?” I flipped through the pages until I found the deposit information. “Cane…” He’d put hundreds of thousands of dollars into my account. “Why? You didn’t need to do that…”

  “I want you to have what you need. You can go back to school without worrying about money. You can buy yourself a house. It’s one less thing to stress about.”

  Tears started to burn my eyes. “You don’t owe me anything, Cane.”

  “I know,” he said quietly. “I just…I want you to be taken care of.”

  I took a shaky breath and felt the tears stream down my face. “I can’t accept this.”

  “Yes, you can. This money is nothing to me. I would much rather you have it than hold on to it. It’ll make transitioning so much easier.”

  “But I don’t want you for your money, Cane. That’s not why—”

  He grabbed the papers and put them back together for me in an envelope. “I know.” He placed the debit card in my hand. “But you’re going to need to buy lunch. You know you need to eat every hour.”

  No joke in the world could make me laugh right now.

  “I’m not taking it back, so you may as well keep it.” He got out of the driver’s seat and opened the trunk. He pulled out my luggage on wheels and placed it on the sidewalk, the handle pulled up.

 
It took me a second to get out of the car and to wipe away the tears that had fallen down my cheeks. I fixed my makeup and realized we were at the airport where I saw Cane for the very first time. Now it might be the last time I ever saw him.

  I got out of the car and met him on the sidewalk.

  His features were exactly the same. He didn’t shed a single tear or show any emotion. It didn’t seem like we were saying goodbye. It didn’t seem like he loved me, as if he’d never told me those words in the past.

  I was the one who wanted to leave, but I was the one crying.

  He cupped my face with both hands and wiped the new tears away with his thumbs.

  “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. If it weren’t for you, I would still be there…or I would be dead.”

  He stepped into me and kissed me on the forehead. “I would do it again if I had to, Bellissima.”

  I would miss that name. Bellissima. I rested my face against his chest and hugged him, knowing I would miss the way he felt in my arms. His cologne washed over me, making me think of long nights when we didn’t get any sleep. Those memories would comfort and hurt me in the years to come.

  Cane pulled away and looked down into my face. “I want to say something.”

  “Okay.”

  “Home might not be what you remember. You’ve changed so much that it might not feel the same. People will treat you differently. What used to be simple and beautiful might now be completely different. You aren’t the same person, and neither are they. You’ll try to have a normal life. You’ll try to be around people again, date guys again…but it won’t be what you expect. I think you’ll come to realize that I’m the only one who truly understands you. I’m the only one who won’t think less of you for what you’ve endured. I’m the only one who will admire you for what you’ve suffered.”

  I felt the truth of his words and feared he was right. Home might not be what I remembered. People might see me as the woman who was sold into sex trafficking the second she graduated college. I would be recognized everywhere. I wouldn’t have a clean start.