Husband Read online

  12

  Hades

  I got ready for work without acknowledging my wife.

  In mutual silence, we both got dressed and pretended the other didn’t exist. I slipped my watch onto my wrist while rage made my blood boil. She didn’t need to concern herself with my affairs, let alone give her opinion about it. She didn’t know a goddamn thing and needed to mind her own business.

  Instead of being apologetic, she was just as angry with me.

  That was the downfall of having a sassy wife. She stood by her decisions and refused to apologize for her point of view. She was stubborn and argumentative. And she didn’t scare easily. They were all traits I hated about her…but also loved.

  It was a double-edged sword.

  I put on my jacket and finally faced her.

  She gave me a pissed look then ignored me again.

  I had a bit of an ego so I didn’t appreciate the way she treated me, but I also respected her for not putting up with my shit. “I’ll be home late tonight.”

  “Or maybe just don’t come home at all.” She didn’t look at me as she slipped on her heels.

  My fingers ached to grab her by the back of the neck and bend her over the bed. My palm would smack that ass until it was swollen and red. Old-fashioned punishment should get her to change her tune. But that tactic wouldn’t work on her. “Be careful what you wish for.”

  “Where’s Damien?” The suits stared at me, ready to do business.

  “Unavailable.” I kept the truth as quiet as possible because it made us look like pussies. I still hadn’t figured out what I was going to do about the deal we’d made. I had to honor it, but I was also tempted to give Damien back and cancel the agreement.

  The meeting resumed, and we talked numbers. The men were brothers from the south of France, laundering their money through my channels every few months. Now we were in one of their estates in the countryside, beautiful women and whores all over the house.

  Once the deal was made, we shook hands.

  “As a thank you,” one of the men said, “we brought your favorite girl.” He snapped his fingers.

  His men opened the door and chauffeured the woman inside.

  She was in a black trench coat, but I knew there was nothing but lingerie underneath. Her dark hair was in soft curls, and makeup was painted on her beautiful face. She gave me a flirtatious look, batting her eyelashes as she gave me an air kiss.

  The men left the room to give us privacy.

  Vivian was one of my favorite whores, a woman I’d spent a lot of time with throughout the years. I paid a lot of money for her, but when the men wanted something from me, they loaned me to her for days at a time. She unbuttoned her coat and let the jacket fall from her body, revealing a black bodysuit that didn’t cover her perky tits.

  I was pissed at my wife at the moment, and she would have no idea if I fucked this woman or not. It would be easy for me to lead a double life, to make Sofia regret treating me that way.

  Vivian came close to me, getting on her knees so she could suck my dick.

  When I got a good look at her, I realized how similar she looked to Sofia. She had dark hair, full lips, and eyes so much like my wife’s, it was eerie. I’d been with this woman many times, had great sex I’d paid thousands of euros for, but not once did I ever feel anything.

  Why did I feel so much for Sofia?

  Why did I love her so much?

  When Vivian reached for my pants, I pushed her hands away. “I’m married.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

  “That I can’t do this.” I got to my feet without any regret. Even when I was ticked at my wife, it didn’t change how I felt. Even when I was in a dark room with a beautiful woman, I wasn’t tempted to betray her. My dick wasn’t even hard.

  Why did my wife have so much power over me?

  Why was she the only woman I wanted to be with?

  Why did I feel like shit just for looking at someone else?

  I came home later like I said I would. Sofia was having dinner with her mother in the dining room, but I wasn’t in the mood for bullshit conversation. I wasn’t even that hungry, so nothing sounded appetizing anyway.

  I made it to the third floor, my mood sour from the events of my night. There was a part of me that wished I could betray Sofia, that I could be the cold monster I used to be. If she wasn’t good to me, I would just find someone else. It would hurt her, but make her take me seriously.

  But I couldn’t do it.

  I wished I were immune to her charms, immune to her potent beauty. I wished this curse had never been placed on my shoulders. My life would be much less complicated.

  I passed Damien’s bedroom, the door wide open. He was sitting up in bed with a dinner tray on his lap. His face still looked like shit, but some of his mobility had returned. He held his fork and took a bite of his dinner, moving slowly like every extension of his limbs was difficult.

  Without looking up from his food, he addressed me. “How long are you going to pretend I don’t exist?”

  I stepped into the doorway, my hands resting in my pockets. I leaned against the frame and stared at my oldest friend. The anger was still potent in my body, but there was also a hint of sympathy. My wife had been taking care of him for days, and he had already improved dramatically. Parts of his skin were actually turning white again.

  When I didn’t answer, he took another bite. “I guess that answers my question…” He turned back to his food and waited for me to walk away.

  I moved into his bedroom and shut the door behind me before I took a seat in the armchair by his bedside. I loosened my tie and popped the top button of my shirt before I relaxed into the cushioned chair. One ankle rested on the opposite knee, and my hands came together in my lap.

  He set his fork down and abandoned his dinner.

  “You can keep eating.”

  “Nah. I don’t have an appetite when you look at me like that.” He winced as he grabbed the tray and moved it to the side.

  I should have helped him, but I was too stubborn. He deserved every single ache and pain as punishment for his stupidity. All of this could have been easily avoided, and his bruises didn’t compare to the pain I felt at losing my life’s work.

  He breathed heavily for a bit before he recovered from the movement. “Go ahead. Yell at me.”

  I stared.

  “You’ve been keeping it bottled inside for days. You’re like a can of soda that’s been shaken vigorously. The second that top pops off…pandemonium.”

  My eyes didn’t blink as I examined his gaze. My anger didn’t decrease, but it was hard not to feel comfortable at his side. Our friendship had survived so many battles, and we never held grudges against each other. It was hard to hold one now. “I’m not going to yell at you. You know exactly how I feel. No need to say anything.”

  His eyes softened. “I think I’d prefer it if you yelled at me…”

  “You aren’t worth my time.”

  “Ouch.” He shook his head slightly. “Why don’t you just give me back to Maddox and call the whole thing off?”

  “If I were going to do that, I wouldn’t have made the trade in the first place. Even when you betray me, you’re still more important than everything we’ve built. Take it as a compliment.”

  “I can’t…not when I feel like shit.”

  “Well, I hope you feel like shit for a long time.”

  “I will…even once these bruises heal.”

  I turned my gaze away because I couldn’t hold my anger. Damien was pompous with an enormous ego. The rare times he showed humility reminded me why we’d been friends for so long. He was a good guy…just a little stupid sometimes.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “The only thing we can do—pull out.”

  He lowered his voice. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I made a deal—your life for the business.”

  “But that doesn’t mean we can’t hunt
him down and kill him. Problem solved.”

  Maddox was an unpredictable foe. He’d been in our midst for years but never actually moved against us. He enjoyed the competition, enjoyed having an equal enemy. That made him psychotic, difficult to understand. “That could backfire. He’s impossible to track. He’s made sure of that.”

  Damien was quiet as he considered an alternative. “We could get him to come to us…”

  “How?”

  “We could continue the business like nothing’s changed.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “And go back on my word?”

  “What’s the worst that could happen? He comes after us?” Damien asked. “It’ll give us a chance to kill him.”

  “He’ll have the element of surprise, so he’ll have the upper hand.”

  “Then we’ll always be prepared.”

  I shook my head. “That wasn’t what we agreed to, Damien.”

  “Well, we’re in the drug game. This isn’t the same as operating a bank on good faith, on strong handshakes. This is about survival. When people find out you rolled over for Maddox, they won’t take us seriously. We need to be the monsters men want in their corners. Just giving up isn’t the solution. And frankly, I don’t think Maddox wants that anyway. He wants us to take it a step further, to make the fire an inferno. He wants blood, guts, and war.”

  I couldn’t refute that last part. “Seems shady.”

  “We are shady, Hades.”

  I stared at the painting on the wall, a piece of artwork a designer picked out for me a long time ago. I had no participation in the decoration of this house. Everything was foreign to me…but it still felt like home. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Think about it all you want, but it doesn’t change anything. Our entire network relies on our organization. All our allies, all our business relationships, everything. Men on our payroll will have to be let go, and firing someone is the best way to make an enemy.”

  Damien was talking sense, but I still didn’t want to be dishonest. People trusted me because I always spoke the truth. The second I stopped, no one would be able to believe a word I said. But in this situation, I may not have another choice. “I said I’ll think about it.”

  Damien faced forward again, turning quiet as he dropped the conversation.

  “You’ve improved.”

  “Thanks to your wife,” he whispered.

  “I thought Helena was taking care of you.”

  “Yeah, but Sofia keeps me company during the day. We play games, have lunch, stuff like that…gets my mind off it. And she’s nicer to me than Helena is.”

  “Because Helena knows you’re a piece of shit.”

  “Well, Sofia knows that too, and she’s still nice to me.” He turned back to me.

  I knew exactly why Sofia was that way. “She has a big heart.”

  “I don’t know about that, but she is kind.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He avoided my gaze for a long time. “Nothing.”

  “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

  He still wouldn’t look at me.

  “Damien.”

  “Just drop it, Hades.”

  “Then why did you make that backhanded compliment in the first place?”

  He shrugged. “I guess I’m just angry about the whole thing.”

  They’d been spending a lot of time together, so they probably had a lot of heart-to-heart conversations while I was out of the house. “Tell me.”

  “You don’t want to know. Leave it alone.”

  The more he tried to hide it from me, the more it bothered me. “Damien, I’m not gonna stop thinking about it until you tell me. So you may as well just man up.”

  He turned back to me, sympathy in his gaze. “You said things had been different recently.”

  Until I pissed her off. “Yeah.”

  “So I asked her a couple of questions…she answered.”

  “What kinds of questions?”

  He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. But basically…she said she’d never love you.” He turned his gaze away like he couldn’t stand the sight of my pain. His words were fists that blacked out both of my eyes.

  I absorbed his words with my usual calm exterior. My poker face was the best in the game, my thoughts impossible to read. The only person who could gauge my feelings was my wife…because I allowed her to really see me. My insides turned to lava and burned my guts, making my intestines black. The heat wasn’t a byproduct of rage. It was just an intense wave of disappointment; of a truth I already knew but refused to believe. Our relationship had deepened and everything seemed perfect…but that opinion was one-sided. No matter what I did, she would never feel differently toward me. That was the devastating truth.

  “Told you you didn’t want to know…” He had the respect not to look at me, to give me some privacy while I digested the painful words. “Sofia is beautiful, smart, and kind. She balances out your asshole-ness. But you deserve better. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “What do you expect me to do?”

  “Divorce her.”

  So someone else could have her? Never. “I knew what I was getting into when I married her. I’m committed.”

  He turned back to me. “You’re just going to get hurt.”

  “It’ll hurt more to live without her.”

  “Geez…that’s intense. Fuck, I hope I never love a woman. Not worth it.”

  It was the most pain I’d ever endured, but it was also the most passion I’d ever experienced. I’d never been so alive. “I saw Vivian tonight. The guys loaned her out to me as a thank you.”

  Damien’s eyes widened. “Did you…?”

  “No.”

  “That’s restraint.”

  “No, it wasn’t. I could have gotten away with it, and Sofia would never know. But I wasn’t tempted at all…because there’s only one woman I want to be with. Even if she doesn’t love me, even if she’s pissed at me, I’m a slave to her. It’s depressing but also exhilarating at the same time. Sofia is the best vintage bottle of wine, and everything else is horse piss. Once you’ve had the best, you can never go back.”

  “Sounds intense.”

  “What else did she say?”

  He shrugged. “She said she’s never been in love before. Your relationship is perfect as it is because you’re a good husband who’s honest and powerful…and you’re in good in bed. And if she ever does fall in love with someone someday, she still wouldn’t betray you.”

  That stung the most.

  Fuck, that hurt.

  It was the first time I couldn’t control my reaction. I released a deep hiss from between my teeth, feeling the searing heat cook my insides once more. The idea of loving me was so ridiculous to her that it was more likely she would fall in love with someone other than me. My eyes dropped to the floor.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “But if it makes you feel any better, it has nothing to do with you. We never should have walked into that purple tent in Marrakech. Maybe things would have been different…or maybe they would have been the same anyway.”

  I’d wondered the same thing. Did that fortune come true because she read it to me? Or would this have happened whether we visited Morocco or not? I slouched in the chair and felt the strength leave my limbs. The devastation was still potent in my blood, like I’d lost her for the second time.

  “That’s why I wonder if it would be better for you to just forget about her…”

  “I can’t forget about her.” During the two years we were apart, I still thought about her on a daily basis. I wondered where she slept at night. Anytime I was with a brunette, I pretended she was Sofia to give me a better climax. Leaving her would only revert me back to that endless loneliness.

  He shook his head slightly. “How could a woman be so cold? Is she cold because of this curse? If you weren’t being punished for what you’ve done, would she be a different woman? Is she damned because of this too?”

  “No idea
.”

  He turned quiet as he considered all the possibilities.

  The fortune reader told me this was punishment for the crimes I’d committed. I’d done a lot of terrible things, but I wondered if killing my father was the specific action that triggered all of this. I wished I could take it all back, to have a clean slate with Sofia, sweep her off her feet and make her fall for me.

  Or would I never have loved her in the first place?

  An idea came into my head. “You think she’s still there?”

  “Who?” he asked. “Sofia?”

  “No. That woman in the purple tent in the bazaar.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “No idea. We were there ten years ago, and she was kinda old…why?”

  “What if I went back and spoke to her?”

  “What would that accomplish?”

  “Maybe I could do something to fix it.”

  “Like pay her off?” he asked. “I don’t think it works like that.”

  “But maybe there’s something I could…a ritual or something. A blessing. I don’t know. Maybe she read my future as it would unfold at that point. But what if I could do something to change the rest of the story?”

  He shrugged. “No idea.”

  “That’s why I’m going to ask her.”

  “So you’re going back to Marrakech?”

  “Yeah. I’ll leave in the morning.”

  “I’m coming with you.”

  I eyed all the bruises on his face. “You’re in no condition, Damien.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t do this alone.”

  “I can do anything alone.”

  “But we were together the first time we went. Maybe we need to be together the second time.”

  “You’re just going to slow me down.”

  He stopped arguing, his eyes defeated.

  “Why do you want to go so bad?”

  He wouldn’t make eye contact. “I guess I want to ask her about my fortune…if it’s really going to happen.”