Buttons & Lace Read online

  “I heard what you said.” Her voice came out as a whisper. She still sounded strong despite the quiet way she spoke.

  I eyed her lips, watching them part when she took a breath.

  “Black and blue.” Slowly, her eyes moved back to mine. “You’re supposed to rape me then hurt me.” She begged with her eyes, telling me not to do it. She told me she’d been through enough. All she craved was peace.

  My fingers glided through her hair slowly, and I pressed my face against hers. Our foreheads touched, and the heat of her body warmed me in distant places. It was the first time she didn’t pull away. She allowed the touch to linger.

  My lips found hers, and I gave her a soft kiss. The simple touch made my core burn in longing. When I first saw this woman, I thought she was ordinary. But in the two weeks she’d been with me, all I thought about was her. I wanted her underneath me. I wanted her to cry for me.

  She kissed me back initially, like that was her instinctive reaction the second she felt my mouth. But she quickly pulled away, retracting her lips. Her forehead was still pressed to mine, but the kiss was off the table.

  “Yes. I will do all of those things to you.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Pearl

  When I woke up that morning, the swelling had gone down. Lars brought an ointment that soothed the skin, and he brought a few painkillers to top it off. I was never allowed to have pain meds with Bones. That was one perk about being with Crow.

  Crow. Now I knew his name.

  It was peculiar. But for him, it made complete sense. His dark brown hair and hazel eyes made him seem sinister. He was definitely a manifestation of the dark, a nightmare you would picture in a graveyard. The one thing that kept him human were those eyes.

  They were beautiful.

  Sometimes when I looked into them, I forgot what he was. Sometimes I forgot he was a fiend who implanted a tracker in my ankle. Sometimes I forgot he was the man keeping me there against my will.

  I left the bed and walked to the window. The best feature of my room was that window. When I opened it every morning, I looked across the valley of a glorious vineyard. With a sky as clear as the sea and hills that looked manmade they were so perfect, it didn’t feel like a prison anymore. Sometimes I could pretend I was there by choice. Sometimes I could pretend I was there on vacation, and one day, I would go home.

  With the breeze on my face, I felt gratitude wash over me. With Bones, I never had this kind of privilege. I was a glorified dog on a leash. Every move was micromanaged in detail. But there, I had some freedom.

  My eyes scanned the horizon, and I noticed something moving through the vineyards. When the image came closer to me, I recognized the dark hair and five o’clock shadow along his jaw. Shirtless, he jogged. The sweat on his chest glinted under the sunlight, highlighting every line of muscle. He had a powerful chest, the kind that was just as thick as the Great Wall, and he had toned abs. Each one was prominent in its definition. I counted eight.

  His thin hips had the noticeable V shape that I’d seen on underwear models on billboards in Manhattan. Whether he wore a shirt or not, he really was extremely handsome. When I first saw him in the bar, I thought he was a blessing. I thought he represented hope, that there were beautiful and ordinary people in the world. That not all men were maniacal criminals who bought and sold people for profit.

  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  He approached the house, his jog coming to a brisk walk. He wore black running shorts with black running shoes. He had a thin and toned body, powerful but sleek. It was in direct opposition to his brother, who was burly and bulky. Some of their facial features were the same. I knew they were brothers the second I was in their captivity.

  He reached the lawn and walked past my window as he headed to the front of the house. His head turned my way, either because he expected me to be there or he wanted to look for his own reasons. His eyes found mine, and he stopped walking altogether. He stood still, staring at me.

  I’d been caught, but I didn’t look away. I stared down at him, trying to figure out this enigma who held me prisoner. He threatened to rape and hurt me, but when he attempted to make good on his word, he didn’t follow through. He protected me from his men and his brother, bringing me to this beautiful mansion surrounded by vineyards. And when his brother tied me up and tried to rape me, he protected me. He could have just turned a blind eye or let it happen.

  But he didn’t.

  He kissed me last night. It wasn’t the aggressive kind that Bones gave me, where he shoved his tongue in my mouth without having a clue what to do with it. This was unusually gentle—even fragile.

  My lips automatically moved against his. I didn’t think twice about it. It just happened. But when I realized what I was doing, I pulled away. This man was a psychopath—why the hell was I kissing him?

  He threatened to keep his promise to his brother—that he would make me black and blue. He said he would rape me, take me however he wanted. But those threats didn’t mean as much as they did when I first came here. Three times he’d done something to help me.

  Maybe he wasn’t as evil as I thought.

  He held my gaze with intensity, not blinking despite the sun hitting him right in the eyes. It made the green color of his eyes brighten, like the lush grass of his lawn.

  I wanted to walk away, but I was glued to the spot, infatuated by his appearance. His strong body still glistened with sweat. In the back of my mind, in a very dark place, I wondered how it would taste.

  Without warning, he walked back to the house like he hadn’t spotted me at all. His powerful body had the most beautiful complexion. It was fair, pale like mine, but it was flawless. He didn’t have tan lines along his arms like most people did. Perhaps because he wore a suit when he left the house.

  When he was out of sight, I walked into my bathroom and got ready for breakfast. Lars usually brought me a tray that I enjoyed in private. But I was tired of being cooped up in the room. I was in a beautiful mansion but hadn’t seen much of it.

  ***

  Crow had finished half his breakfast when I walked inside the dining hall. He wasn’t sweaty and shirtless anymore. Now he wore a black suit and a yellow tie. The collared shirt underneath was a beautiful teal color. Despite the vivid colors he wore, he made the outfit even more masculine.

  I took a seat and looked at him across the table.

  He still held his newspaper with one hand, but his eyes drifted to my face to greet me silently. He gave me a single look before he turned back to the paper. He still didn’t want to be disturbed during his morning meal.

  I didn’t have anything to say anyway.

  Lars brought my breakfast, an Italian delicacy that featured grape tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, and basil. He also brought a side of fruit, mixed berries and bananas.

  “Thank you.”

  “Of course, m’lady.” He gave me a sweet smile before he walked away. Lars was the first man I met on this adventure who didn’t seem cruel. When he looked at me, he saw a person, not an object.

  Crow dropped his paper. “What’s your name?”

  The intrusive question came out of nowhere.

  “I’m sure Lars would like to know how to address you.”

  “M’lady is fine,” I said. “I didn’t think anyone spoke like that anymore.”

  “I can have him call you slave, if you prefer.”

  I narrowed my eyes on his face, feeling my fire rise. “I’m sick of your act. I’m not buying it anymore.”

  Now he narrowed his eyes on me.

  “I’m not your slave. You don’t treat me like one. You let me walk around like a human being. You haven’t raped me, even though you said you would. When someone else tried to hurt me, you stopped him. I don’t think you’re who you say you are.”

  “Foolish.”

  “No. I think you’re foolish for thinking I was going to fall for this act. Now tell me why you’re keeping me if you have no ill will toward
me.”

  He rose to his feet in one swift move and slammed his fists down on the table. The collision of his palms made my spine coil in fear. Every dish shook at the violence, crashing with a collective sound. Lars didn’t come running in, probably understanding what caused the disruption. “There’s nothing I want more than to tie you up and beat you senseless. When I saw those welts on your thigh, I got hard. When I think about making you cry, it makes me come in my trousers like a teenage boy. No, you aren’t safe with me. Yes, I have every ill will toward you. When I’m through with you, I’ll bury you in the soil of my vineyards so my next harvest will be even more fruitful than the last.” He slammed his fists down again. “I’m a beast. And you know what beasts do in the dark.”

  ***

  I spent the afternoon outside on the back patio. I had a book and a pitcher of iced tea beside me. Lars attended to my every need, fetching me lunch when I never asked for anything and supplying an umbrella when the heat became too much.

  I felt like royalty.

  “Lars?”

  He came to my side, his hands behind his back. “Yes, m’lady?”

  I shut the book I was reading. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. Whatever you need, I can take care of it.”

  “Well...I was curious about Crow—”

  “Mr. Barsetti.”

  I didn’t know his last name. He never told me. “Yes. I was wondering what kind of man he is. I mean...do you know what he wants with me?” Servants knew every piece of gossip in a household. At least, that was true according to Downton Abbey.

  Lars didn’t react in the slightest. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

  “I mean...does he normally have slaves around the house?” Was I the first one? What kind of business did he do with Cane? Why was he enemies with Bones?

  “I can’t answer that. I’m sorry.” He walked away before I could ask any more questions.

  I should have known Lars would be loyal to his employer. I would get nothing out of him. The only person I could ask was Crow, but I doubted I would get anything out of him. Sometimes he was calm and soft, like a rose petal across the skin. Other times, like this morning, he was a psychopath.

  I spent the afternoon reading and enjoying the movement of the sun through the sky. The mansion was isolated from the rest of the world, and the view was so beautiful a part of me never wanted to leave. If Crow wasn’t insane and Cane didn’t have the ability to stop by, I might actually like it there.

  When the sun was about to sink below the hill in the distance, I knew evening had arrived. There would be dinner, and then I would return to my room to read by my bedside lamp. The window would remain open as I listened to the sounds of the open land.

  “I’ve heard you had a relaxing day.”

  I shut the book with a jolt. I didn’t hear him approach me from behind. His footsteps were silent because he walked with impeccable grace. He didn’t disturb the atmosphere around him—because he commanded it. “Why do you creep up on people like that?”

  “Why don’t you pay attention to your surroundings more?” He pulled the legs of his trousers up before he sat in the chair beside me. His suit was just as crisp as it was that morning. It was molded to his body, fitting him better than being naked.

  I kept the book on my lap and stared at the hillside. It was better than looking at him. The final thing he said to me that morning left me in a jittery state. I wasn’t sure what to believe. What not to believe.

  “Did you have a good day?”

  “Yes.” I refused to look at him, wanting him to disappear.

  “Lars told me you’ve had a curious mind lately.”

  What a tattletale. “I wouldn’t have to ask him anything if you answered my questions.”

  He rubbed his wrist just below his watch. He possessed large hands with long fingers. He oozed grace mixed with masculinity, looking like a model that would be on the cover of GQ magazine. “What do you want to know?”

  “Have you had a slave before?”

  “Me?” he asked.

  “Was my question not clear?”

  A soft smile formed on his lips, like he was amused with my anger rather than threatened by it. “No. I’ve never had a slave before.”

  “Then why do you want me?”

  “You know what they say.” He rested his arms on his knees and returned his gaze to mine. “Always go for the new experience.”

  I hated his vague responses. It was worse than no response. “Why did you capture me to hurt and kill me? How does that affect Bones?”

  “It’ll piss him off—to say the least.”

  “You overestimate his fondness for me. I can assure you he’s already replaced me with some other poor girl. Hurting me won’t hurt him. I can promise you that.”

  He stared at me with erected walls, absorbing my reaction but not giving one of his own. “Three million dollars.”

  My pulse weakened.

  “Three million dollar is a big investment—even by his standards.”

  “He was drunk when he bought me.”

  He chuckled. “Nice try. We both know he wasn’t. The most he’s ever paid for a slave was a million. That’s three times the amount.”

  “Maybe he got a raise.”

  He ran his long fingers along his jaw, feeling his five o’clock shadow coming in. “He showed you what he does for a living. You only do that with an equal, not a slave. And he took you to the opera, knowing people who recognized him would see the two of you together. You meant a lot to him—a great deal.”

  He had a funny way of showing it.

  “And you know what I think?”

  Now I looked away, annoyed with his arrogance.

  “I think you made that happen.” His words hit my ears like a pin drop in a silent room. It amplified in my head simply because it was true. “I think you manipulated him like a mastermind to improve your situation. And to find an opportunity to escape.”

  I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being right. I’d take that truth to the grave.

  “And that is immensely impressive.”

  I didn’t react to the compliment. My eyes naturally wanted to look into his, but I stopped that from happening.

  “You’re a fighter. You don’t stop until you get what you want. That was why I spared you from my men. Deep down inside, somewhere that I can’t really understand, was respect. I respected you. Still do.”

  He hadn’t hurt me—not once. He made promises to hurt me, but they were just threats to keep me in line. I believed this man wasn’t as cruel as he claimed. I believed there was a chance he would let me go—if I played my cards right. “If that’s how you feel, why won’t you release me?” I turned back to him, stopping the plea from entering my eyes. No matter how beautiful this place was, I wanted to go home.

  “My need for revenge is stronger.”

  “Stronger than letting an innocent woman go home?” I asked incredulously. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? As a man, you’ll never understand what it’s like to be held down while you’re violated like an object. You’ll never understand what it’s like to belong to someone else. You don’t get it, and you never will.”

  “I do get it.”

  I searched his eyes and waited for something redeeming, something pure.

  The look in his eyes hadn’t changed once during our conversation. His eyes were soft like satin sheets, but his jaw was hard with cruelty. “I just don’t care.”

  ***

  I didn’t join my captor for dinner, because I didn’t want to look at him right now. The last thing he said to me sent me to another place with rage. Once upon a time, I thought the world was a beautiful place. There were bad people in it, but there were also a lot of good people.

  But I realized I was dead wrong.

  Every person served their own interests. Every person was selfish. Every person didn’t care whom they hurt on their path to get what they wanted.


  It was despicable.

  I hardly touched my dinner despite how delicious it was, and I left the half-eaten tray outside for Lars to pick up. At least my room was a safe haven. No one bothered me in there. It was beautifully decorated, and it had something that meant the world to me.

  A window.

  Sometimes, I could pretend I was free. I shouldn’t feel gratitude toward Crow for treating me better than Bones, but I did.

  Even though I shouldn’t.

  I got ready for bed and placed my book on the nightstand. The bed was comfortable, the best I’d ever slept on. The sheets were made of Italian finery, and the comforter kept me warm and cool at the same time. It healed my aching back and sore limbs. Being away from Bones for so long gave my body time to heal from the things it endured. But I wondered if there would ever be enough time to heal everywhere.

  I fell asleep and was taken to my nightmares. I usually dreamed of Bones doing sick things to me. No matter how hard I tried to block those images out, I couldn’t. They were a part of me, another scar he inflicted. Even though I got away, he still won. Now that he was gone, I still thought about him. If that wasn’t a victory, I didn’t know what was.

  I felt the ground move beneath my feet, and the temperature of the air increased. My body shifted, and I felt my bottoms come off. Bones was undressing me, preparing to enter me with abrasive force. I wished he would disappear. I wished the nightmares would stop.

  I felt my top come off, and my tits were exposed to the cool air. They became rigid and hard, pebbling at the intrusion. Then a mouth pressed to mine. It wasn’t hard and sloppy. It wasn’t full of random tongue that penetrated my mouth like a wet hose.

  It felt nice.

  He sucked my bottom lip gently, rubbing it against his soft lips. Then he kissed me again, the hair on his chin rubbing against me slightly. Breath filled my lungs when he breathed into me.

  My dream changed, and Crow was the one kissing me. He was shirtless and sweaty, exactly as I saw him that morning. He kissed me softly and dug his hand into my hair. He showed the gentle side of him, not the temperamental man that snapped at the slightest irritation.