Buttons and Blame Page 12

They would end it quickly.

  My hand moved to hers, and I grabbed it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

  Her fingers responded to the touch, and she interlocked our fingertips. Her sight never left the wall, her breathing just as deep and even as before.

  I sat with her and didn’t say anything at all. Being there with her seemed to be the final gift I could impart. She was still with me, and as long as she was mine, she was safe.

  I just wished she could always be safe.

  A short plane ride later, we were in Southern France. We drove from the airport to Tristan’s lair on the coast. There wasn’t another building for miles, and he had direct access to his own personal harbor. It made smuggling all the easier.

  I drove ten miles below the speed limit, taking my time getting there. I was in no rush, and neither was she. I said I would be there at seven, but I didn’t give a damn about being late. Tristan’s anger didn’t impress me.

  My hand held hers tightly on her thigh. I never removed it. I could gradually feel her pulse quicken as we came closer to Tristan’s place. Her breathing never accelerated, and her eyes didn’t fill with tears. She wore a cold expression, her walls already fully erected for what was about to happen.

  I admired her more than I ever had.

  She could break down and cry, but she didn’t. She could panic and scream, but she didn’t do that either. She faced death with her head held high and her shoulders back. She did it with both dignity and grace. Tristan could do whatever he wanted, but she would still be the most elegant thing in the room.

  She reminded me of Pearl.

  We reached the final road, and the mansion came into sight, the water in the background. The sun was already setting, and a beautiful sunset acted as the background. Like the sun was saying goodbye just to her, it slowly sank over the horizon.

  Tristan’s men were stationed outside, their eyes on the car as I pulled up. I turned into the roundabout but purposely stayed parked a good distance away, giving her space as long as possible. The men spoke into their mics, telling Tristan we were there.

  Adelina stared out the window before she looked at me, somehow looking more beautiful than she ever had before. Her brown hair fell perfectly around her shoulders, and her bright eyes glowed softly. All the bruises she’d had faded away shortly after she stayed with me. Now her skin was soft and flawless. She looked like a beautiful woman who belonged in a mansion with a diamond tiara on her head. She should be at home with a husband and children, enjoying a life where she could experience old age with joy.

  She shouldn’t be here.

  But saying all of that would make it worse.

  I said the only thing that would mean something to her. “I admire you.”

  Her eyes softened slightly.

  “You’re so brave.”

  She squeezed my hand. “You make me brave.”

  I brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “It doesn’t matter what they do to you. They can’t take your mind, your heart, or your soul.” My hand moved over her chest where her heart was beating fast. “So keep being brave.”

  A soft smile formed on her lips. “Okay…” She fished into her pocket until she found the bag of pills. She took two out and placed them in the inside of each of her cheeks. “If I accidentally swallow…whatever.”

  My eyes fell.

  Tristan stepped outside with a few men, his hair just as greasy as it was before. He was in a black leather jacket and black jeans. At over six feet, he was a behemoth of a man. He stared at us down his crooked nose, annoyed that we were still in the car after seven.

  Like I gave a damn.

  “Thank you for everything,” she whispered. “You’re a good man, Cane. If you ever doubt your worth, just remember what I said.” She grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles.

  Now I would miss her even more than before.

  She placed her hand on the door and took a deep breath before she opened it. With her back perfectly straight, she stepped out and stood tall.

  I got out of the car and came to her side. Without thinking, I cupped her face between my hands and kissed her. It was a soft kiss, a delicate embrace that I’d given to her hundreds of times. It was full of respect, friendship, and adoration. This woman had become my friend, my muse. I wanted to protect her, and I felt powerless when I couldn’t. “I’ll never forget you, Bellissima. You’ll live forever.” I placed her hand over my chest. “In here.”

  Her eyes watered, and I knew it wasn’t because she was scared.

  I took her hand in mine and began the slow march back to Tristan. We were hundreds of yards away, and the walk was unnecessarily long. But I wanted to give her every moment that I could, give her fresh air for as long as possible.

  Within the blink of an eye, we were face-to-face with Tristan and his crew.

  His eyes were only for Adelina. “I’ve missed you, Adelina.”

  She stared at him coldly, her hand still in mine.

  “I hope you haven’t forgotten me. If you have, I’ll enjoy reminding you.” He extended his hand.

  She didn’t take it.

  His eyes narrowed. “This is off to a good start. I enjoy punishing you.”

  My heart was racing fast. I could hardly breathe. I was lightheaded. I was sick. “Where’s the money?”

  Tristan turned his expression to me. “I have to admit, I thought you wouldn’t show up today after I rejected your offer.”

  Adelina’s eyes shifted to me.

  “Twenty million dollars for one whore.” Tristan shook his head. “Didn’t put it past you to run. But your offer only makes me want her more.”

  I wanted to pull out my pistol and shoot him right between the eyes. His goons would incinerate me, but it would be worth it.

  Adelina’s eyes stayed on me before she looked away.

  Tristan turned to one of his men. “Send the money.”

  A man in all black worked a tablet, tapping the screen with his fingertips. Tristan stared at me as he waited, and I didn’t drop my expression. I met his fiery look with my own. The man finished up and handed the tablet over. “It’s done.”

  Tristan held up the device so I could see. The money went through to my account. It was done. “Satisfied?”

  I gave a slight nod.

  Tristan handed the tablet back. “Now your end of the bargain.”

  I didn’t drop Adelina’s hand. She’d have to make the first move. I would stand there as long as she needed me to.

  Tristan snapped his fingers. “Come. Whore.”

  Adelina’s expression didn’t change. She slowly pulled her hand away and took a step forward.

  I felt weak the second she was gone. I felt dead the moment she was no longer mine. My world changed in that instant. It twisted and turned, making me feel sick. She was the center of my world for the past month. Now she was gone, just like the setting sun. But for me, it would be eternal night. My sun would never rise again.

  Tristan wore a smile that looked like a grimace. “Good girl.” He grabbed her by the neck and pulled her to his side.

  Both of my hands tightened into fists.

  “Welcome home, cunt.” Tristan pressed his lips right against her ear. “I have a welcoming party planned for you.” He grabbed her by the hair and yanked on her scalp until she was thrown to the ground.

  My body immediately lurched forward.

  One of his men grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me back. I was surrounded by five men, all with machine guns. One false move and I was dead. It wouldn’t change Adelina’s fate.

  Tristan turned to me, his eyes narrowing. “The deal is done. Leave.”

  I couldn’t move. I knew exactly what would happen to her once I was gone. The second she crossed the threshold, she would be stripped and pushed onto a bed. He would fuck her a million ways until she was sore and in tears. She might swallow both pills then and there.

  When I didn’t move, Tristan grabbed Adelina by the hair and yanked her back to he
r feet.

  She didn’t make a single sound.

  Like a man guiding a horse, he pulled on her hair like reins back to the three-story house right on the water. Even when she kept pace with him, he yanked on her anyway. His men moved with him, the two guards posted outside the house watching me.

  I just stood there.

  Tristan opened the front door then shoved her violently across the threshold. The door shut a minute later, and all was silent.

  I remained where I stood, my chest rising and falling at an accelerated rate. All I felt was pain, unbridled burning pain. Air was circulating in my lungs, but the oxygen wasn’t reaching my blood. My muscular legs suddenly felt weak. I felt like I’d lost everything when I still had it all. Only a month had passed, and nothing was different.

  But now nothing was the same.

  I needed to turn around and go home. I needed to get back to my life. I was fine before Adelina came into my life. I would be fine again.

  But I wasn’t sure if I could believe that.

  I finally turned around and got into the car. Even when I was behind the wheel, I couldn’t start the engine. I was in no condition to drive. To an outsider, my face was stoic, and I didn’t share a single emotion.

  But inside, I was dying.

  Inside, I was broken.

  All I could think about was her suffering, what Tristan was doing to her, how she was begging for death in that very moment.

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed it to my ear.

  Crow answered immediately. “Hey, what—”

  “It’s done.” The emotion didn’t escape my voice.

  Crow was quiet for a while. “I’m here if you—”

  Click.

  I turned off my phone and threw it onto the seat beside me, onto the leather that was still warm from Adelina.

  I finally turned on the car and drove away.

  But I drove away as a different man than when I first arrived.

  10

  Crow

  I listened to the line go dead.

  I didn’t bother calling him back because I knew my brother so well. The phone was already off. He didn’t want to talk to me. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. Even if Pearl approached him, he would blow her off.

  Cane’s voice didn’t sound any different than usual, but I could feel the pain in his tone. I could hear the crackle of anger. I could feel his sadness, his brutal pain, over the quiet line. My brother claimed he didn’t love this woman, but if it wasn’t love, I didn’t know what else it could be.

  When I turned around, Pearl was standing there with her arms crossed over her chest. She searched my face for clues as to what just happened. She wanted confirmation, but she also didn’t want to hear it at the exact same time.

  “It’s done.” I repeated my brother’s words to her, finding them short and effective.

  Her eyes immediately watered, quicker than I could snap my fingers.

  “Button…” She darted around me and left our bedroom, dismissing me without a backward glance. Her light footsteps pounded against the hardwood floor as she practically ran down the hallway.

  My initial instinct was to go after her, but she obviously didn’t want me with her. In her eyes, I was somehow responsible for this. Since I wasn’t willing to risk my life as well as hers for this woman, I was somehow evil.

  Adelina was a nice woman who deserved better, but I would always put my wife first.

  That was how this cruel world worked.

  When it was late in the evening, I finally left my study and went after her. She’d had enough time to grieve, to let her emotions clean out her tear ducts. Logic would descend once again, and she would understand this wasn’t her fault or mine.

  Life just sucked.

  I found her sitting outside on the patio, one of my sweaters bundled around her. Instead of making her look bulkier, she seemed even smaller in the oversized clothing. I walked up behind her then took the seat in the armchair beside her.

  She stared across the vineyards even though practically nothing could be seen. There was a soft breeze in the air, slightly cold from the approach of fall. Sweet grapes were on the wind, along with the smell of olives from the trees.

  I waited for her to say something, to feel out her mood.

  But she was dead silent.

  “Button.” I watched the side of her face, seeing the anguish in her expression.

  “She’s my friend…”

  “I know. I liked her too.”

  “Right now, as we speak…” She never finished the sentence. She let it die away on the tip of her tongue.

  “Don’t think about that. She even told us not to feel guilty. She knows we couldn’t do anything for her.”

  “It’s still so horrible. I feel like she died.”

  She was dead. In just a matter of days, Tristan’s men would be weighing her corpse down into the sea. She would probably swallow the pills sooner rather than later. I debated telling Pearl the truth. It might give her some comfort, but it also might make her upset again.

  It was better not to say anything.

  “How’s Cane?”

  “He’s okay.”

  “How can he be okay?”

  “I only talked to him for two seconds. He hung up on me. I can tell he’s hurting.”

  “How can he not be hurting? I know how much he cared about her. I saw it every time he looked at her.”

  I saw it too. I kept expecting Cane to go back on his word and run off with her. But he obviously couldn’t risk my well-being as well as Button’s, not when Constantine was a potential risk.

  Button sniffed then the tears came.

  There was nothing I hated more than listening to her cry. The sound was obnoxious from other women, high-pitched and irritable. When Button cried, it wasn’t annoying at all. It was heartbreaking for me to listen to it. Whatever pain she felt, I felt it a million times more. All I wanted was for her to be happy. I worked hard to make sure that would happen. I wanted my wife to be safe from everything, hidden away in my mansion where no one could ever touch her. But pain found a way inside—always.

  “Button…” My hand moved to her cheek, and I wiped her tears away.

  She sniffed again before she helped herself to my lap. She cuddled into my chest and hung on to me as she allowed herself to break down, to mourn the loss of the woman she’d come to care for as a friend.

  I was grateful she didn’t push me away, that she didn’t see me as the bad guy. I rested my chin on her head and rubbed her back, comforting her in silence. Button was a tough woman who didn’t give in to tears, but this was a painful subject for her. I knew she pictured herself in Adelina’s shoes. She understood better than anyone what it was like to be a captive. She knew exactly what Adelina was suffering right at that moment.

  That was something Cane and I would never understand.

  “You know I would fix this for you if I could.”

  She nodded into my chest. “I know…”

  I went to the base every day to check in on Cane without making it obvious I was only there to look after him.

  But he didn’t come into work.

  He responded to Bran via email, but he didn’t set foot on the compound. He did everything from home, handling email and clients electronically. He obviously didn’t want to be around people right now.

  When I called him, his phone was still off.

  Since he wasn’t in immediate danger, I couldn’t stop by his house to pry. He wanted his space right now, and it would be wrong for me not to give it to him.

  But that didn’t mean I stopped worrying.

  He was my younger brother. Concern was a natural compulsion.

  Button was quiet around the house. She wasn’t interested in sex or food. She chose to spend her time reading or walking through the vineyards. She didn’t come to work with me, choosing to stay home.

  But as the days passed, she slowly came out of her shell. She talked to me about the boo
k she was reading, ate a little more at dinner, and would at least snuggle with me in bed. I wondered if her lack of sex drive had anything to do with Adelina. Sex probably reminded her of what her friend was going through. It felt wrong to enjoy it when Adelina was obviously in so much pain.

  “Have you talked to Cane?” she asked as she lay beside me in bed.

  “No.”

  “I wonder if he’s okay.” Her face was close to mine, and her hand rested against my chest. Her makeup had been washed off, and her hair was pulled into a loose bun. I liked the way she looked right before bed, when everything was removed, and it was just her natural features underneath. When we woke up the following morning, she would look even more beautiful after a long night of rest.

  “He’s working with the men through emails. He’s fine.”

  “Maybe physically….”

  “His phone is still off. I don’t think he wants to talk to anyone right now.”

  “Do you think I should stop by?”

  I shook my head. “No. Leave him alone.”

  “What if you stop by?”

  “He doesn’t want to talk to me either. When he’s ready, he’ll let us know.”

  “Yeah…I guess you’re right.”

  It’d been three days since the last time we’d made love. Our schedules were centered around our sex lives. We always got busy in the morning before I went to work, when I came home from work, and then right before bed. Now there wasn’t any action at all because she was too emotional to be excited about anything. I didn’t want to be insensitive, but I was beginning to become frustrated.

  I hugged her into my body and pressed a kiss to her lips.

  She kissed me back, but barely.

  I wasn’t going to stop, so my hand reached underneath her shirt until I found her panties. I slowly pulled them down her hips.

  She grabbed my hand. “Not tonight, Crow.”

  I didn’t hold back the snarl that escaped my lips. In any other situation, I would just yank them off and do it anyway. But I took her voice on this matter very seriously. She was obviously distraught, and I wasn’t going to push her if she didn’t want to be pushed. I pulled my hand away. “It’s been three days.”