Lover in Lingerie: Lingerie #15 Read online

  My hand slid up the back of his neck, and I fingered his short hair as I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. “Make love to me all night…” I wanted to ignore the passing moon and the approaching sun. I wanted to pretend there was no tomorrow at all. I just wanted to enjoy this perfect man as much as I could, to hold on to this memory even when I was old and gray and surrounded by my grandchildren.

  “I will, Beautiful.”

  I slept for two hours before I realized it was morning.

  I glanced at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was ten.

  The shop would stay closed today because I would be in no condition to work. And if I did have to work today, I would be so late, there wouldn’t be much point going in.

  Bosco was already gone from the bedroom.

  I got out of bed and felt the weight hit my stomach. The dread was killing me, making my body cramp up and my heart race with fear. So much pain was about to hit me, and my body was preparing for the blow.

  I could go out there and have breakfast like it was a normal day, but that would be too painful.

  Today wasn’t a normal day.

  I should just grab my stuff and leave while he was in the other room. It would be cruel to make him watch me pack.

  I didn’t even want to watch myself pack.

  I didn’t bother with my hair or makeup, and I tossed all my stuff into the suitcase. I didn’t bother taking the designer gowns he’d bought me because I had nowhere to wear them anyway. I left behind the diamonds because it felt wrong to take them. The only reason I had been with him was for him—not the jewels. I refused to taint our relationship with materialistic possessions.

  Everything was thrown into the bag haphazardly, not folded neatly like usual.

  That didn’t seem important right now.

  I grabbed my toiletries from the bathroom, throwing away all the things I didn’t need so he wouldn’t have to look at it. All my makeup and accessories were shoved into a plastic bag and placed on top of the clothes. Once everything was crammed inside, it was nearly impossible to zip the bag shut.

  I stood in the bedroom with the suitcase by my side, dreading what would happen next. I didn’t want to walk out there, especially when I knew he would be waiting for me. He must have anticipated this based on my behavior last night. It was obvious I was saying goodbye, enjoying him for the last few hours that he was mine.

  I steadied my tears because it would hurt more to cry. It would hurt him and myself. The break wouldn’t be clean and easy, but it was best to do it as quickly as possible. I ran my fingers through my hair before I grabbed the handle of the bag and moved down the hallway, the rolling suitcase loud against the floor. It announced my presence for me, told him I was bringing all my stuff along for the ride.

  Bosco was sitting on the couch, in his usual sweatpants. It didn’t smell like breakfast, so he obviously hadn’t made anything. With the TV off and the silence surrounding him, he’d been sitting there waiting for me.

  He knew.

  I stopped in front of the elevator and waited for him to acknowledge me.

  He stared at the ground with his head tilted to the floor, refusing to look at me.

  I didn’t want to say goodbye. I didn’t want to say anything at all. It was so painful that neither one of us could deal with it.

  Bosco finally rose to his feet and walked toward me. He didn’t make eye contact until he was right in front of me, until he was ready to meet my gaze. He gave me a brave stare, doing his best to hide the grief deep in his eyes.

  I stared back, my eyes watering.

  He didn’t say anything. He didn’t try to convince me to stay or ask why I was leaving.

  The silence passed until a few minutes came and went.

  I knew if I opened my mouth, no words would come out. I would just cry instead. So I said nothing, knowing there were no words I could say to make this easier anyway. I wanted to explain that I had to leave, regardless of how much I loved him. But none of that would make a difference in the long run. It would still be painful no matter what I did.

  He cupped both of my cheeks and gave me a soft kiss on the mouth. It wasn’t packed with fire, lust, and love. It was filled with pain, a gentle kiss that was forced. It was like he didn’t want to kiss me at all because it only reminded him that it was the last kiss we would ever share.

  When he pulled away, he hit the button to the elevator and typed in the code.

  The doors opened.

  He didn’t look at me as he waited for me to walk inside.

  I grabbed my suitcase and stepped through the doors, my heart pounding because I knew this was it.

  He grabbed the door to make sure it wouldn’t close. “My men are going to take you somewhere first. Your car has already been returned to your apartment.” He pulled his hand away, and the doors began to shut immediately. He turned around so he wouldn’t have to look at me again, and the last thing I saw was his chiseled back as he walked away.

  I descended to the bottom of the building, unsure where his men were taking me and why. Bosco gave me no explanation, and he obviously didn’t want to participate in whatever it was.

  I really had no clue.

  When I stepped into the lobby, his men took my suitcase and purse and placed them in the black car. I was ushered into the back seat before the car was pulled onto the road. When I was in the presence of his men, I kept a stoic expression and hid my emotions deep inside my chest. I didn’t want to sob in the back seat, professing my heartbreak to these men who were practically strangers. I didn’t even know their names.

  The car headed to the west in the opposite direction of my apartment. Then it left the city altogether, heading into the countryside of Tuscany. It was a cloudless day and the sun was bright, but there was still a distinct chill in the air. The storm had made everything beautiful and green.

  This was the exact road I took to my parents’ house.

  The car slowed down as we approached a large gate made of metal. Cobblestone walls surrounded the property, and large trees could be seen on the other side. The actual estate was invisible because it was blocked by all the greenery.

  The gates opened, and we drove inside.

  Now I really had no idea what was going on.

  The car drove down the concrete path until it approached a three-story home that looked like a mansion. Designed in classic Tuscan style, it reminded me of my parents’ home. It was surrounded by green plants and gorgeous flowers, all having survived the harsh winter.

  The car stopped.

  The driver came to the back and opened the door.

  I took my cue and got out, inhaling the winter air straight into my lungs. I looked up at the house in the light of the sun, admiring its classic Italian features as well as its European history. There were large double doors at the front.

  “Come with me.” He walked ahead of me, moving farther up the drive until we were fifty feet away from the car. “Mr. Roth wanted me to give this to you.” It was a small box, a rectangular package that could fit across both of my palms.

  He walked away and left me alone with the gift Bosco wanted me to have.

  I looked at the simple brown box made of leather and admired it, wondering what was inside. Was he giving this house to me? Why would he do that? I’d always told him this was where I wanted to live. Did he actually expect me to accept this gift? To live here with my husband and have my family?

  I opened the box and looked inside.

  It took me a second to understand what I was looking at.

  There was a brown house key, beautiful in its design. It was antique-looking, like it was the original key made for the house. Beside it was something else…a diamond ring. A white gold band with an enormous single diamond in the center, it was simple, sleek…and beautiful. “Oh my god…” I stared at it without touching it, knowing once my fingers wrapped around it, I would place it on my left hand and never take it off.

  There was also a note.
>
  I set the box down and unfolded the piece of paper.

  It was a handwritten note from Bosco.

  * * *

  Beautiful,

  This isn’t a proposal.

  But this is everything I want to give you, if you’ll have me.

  The house has five bedrooms. One for us. One for each child you want to have.

  This is the diamond ring I want you to wear until you die.

  Ronan agreed to take over the casino so I can step back. I’ll be home with you every night. I’ll be away from that scene for good.

  I’ll be the kind of husband you want me to be.

  Losing the business I built with my bare hands is hard. But losing you is harder.

  We have a long way to go. We have a lot of work to do. But I’m in this forever if you are. Come back to the penthouse if you want me. But if you don’t…then this is goodbye. Keep the ring so you’ll never forget how much I love you.

  -Bosco-

  * * *

  My tears stained the paper and made the ink run. “Babe…”

  When the elevator doors opened, he was already standing there, just feet from where the doors parted. His eyes were wide as if he couldn’t believe I was really there until he got a good look at me.

  It seemed like he’d been standing there the entire time, waiting for me to turn around.

  I’d cried on the drive home. I’d cried in the elevator. And now I was still crying, the brown box held tightly in my hands.

  His jaw was tense, and his eyes were hard, the best expression of emotion he could muster. His entire body was tensed like he was ready for a fight, the adrenaline pumping hard in his muscles. He didn’t reach out and grab me, afraid I might be an apparition or his imagination.

  I stepped out of the elevator with the box clutched tightly in my hand, containing the three things I wanted most in this world—my marriage, family, and his love. That was what I wanted from him, but it was too soon to ask for it. I’d never asked him to leave the casino because it would be wrong if I did.

  We’d only been together for four months, and that wasn’t long enough to commit for a lifetime.

  But with him, it felt like it might be.

  He must feel the same way.

  “I want all of those things,” I whispered through my tears. “You’re the only person I want them with. But…are you sure you want to do this? It’s a big sacrifice to make, and I wouldn’t blame you if—”

  “Yes.” His hands moved to my arms, and he looked down into my tear-stained face, his emotions matching mine even if they weren’t visible on the surface. “I’m proud of the business I built. I’m proud I could provide for my family. I’m not ashamed of what I do, and I’ll never be ashamed of it. But things change…life changes. We can either change with it or get left behind in bitter regret. Losing you…is something I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”

  “Bosco…” I sniffed and wiped away my tears at the same time. “You want kids? I just didn’t think…” He didn’t seem like someone who wanted to be a father. He only wanted to take care of his business.

  “Not right now,” he said honestly. “Not next year. But yes…eventually. Whenever you’re ready to start, I’ll be ready too.”

  “Because four kids is a lot of kids…”

  He smiled slightly with his eyes, not his lips. “Yeah, I think you’re a little crazy. But I’ll do four…six…whatever you want.”

  I held the box to my chest, the diamond ring and key inside. “I love the ring…” He wasn’t giving it to me yet, but I wanted him to know that I adored it. That I couldn’t wait to wear it.

  “It reminded me of you the second I saw it.”

  I looked into his eyes and imagined a future I could see unfolding, a happy one where my husband would always be by my side every single night I went to sleep. But it was still cloudy, because I had no idea how this would work with my family. Now that I’d decided he was the man I was going to marry, it was time to do the hardest part.

  Introduce him to my father.

  He grabbed the box from my hand and set it on the entryway table. “I know there’s only one way you want me to ask you. That’s the only reason why I haven’t…”

  I wanted my father’s blessing. I wanted my family to be part of it. I didn’t want to do this without them. Being engaged was about combining family members, not keeping them apart. I wanted my father to be happy with the man I chose, to happily give his permission so he’d never have to worry about me again. “I know.”

  His hands cupped my cheeks, and he pressed his forehead to mine. “You were only gone for a few hours…and I was devastated.”

  “Me too.”

  He closed his eyes as he held me. “I never want to go through that again. I know I can give up the casino…because that was so much easier than watching you walk away.”

  11

  Bosco

  Carmen was asleep in my bed—right where she belonged.

  It was eleven in the evening, and my phone vibrated on the nightstand with my brother’s name on the screen.

  I took the call in the living room. “Hey.”

  “Did she stay?” he blurted out, caring about my personal life in the way Mom would have. Ronan was indifferent about a lot of things, very easygoing and casual. But he was obsessed with Carmen staying as much as I was.

  “Yes.” My mouth stretched into a grin. “She came back.”

  “That’s great news. I’m happy for you.”

  I was happy for me too. When I agreed to hand over the business to my brother, it was full of pain and regret. The casino had always been my baby. I worked hard for the respect I earned in that place. Now everything was slipping through my fingers. But watching Carmen walk back into my penthouse erased all the bitterness.

  None of that stuff mattered anymore.

  “She’s a great girl,” Ronan said. “I really like her. I want her to be a Roth.”

  “I do too. But we’ve got a long road ahead of us…”

  “Her family?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Have you decided what you’re going to do?”

  “We haven’t talked about it.” After we were reunited, we went into my bedroom and never left. As if we hadn’t just made love the night before, that’s all we did, choosing to communicate with thrusts and kisses.

  “When you do talk about it, let me know how that goes.”

  I was dreading the next step we had to take. Cane and Crow seemed calm when they thought there was a possibility I might go away. But now that I wasn’t leaving, they might get fired up and do whatever they could to push me out.

  I hoped Carmen would fight for me.

  “Let me know if you need anything, Bosco.”

  “Thanks, Ronan.”

  He hung up.

  I sat on the couch in the living room and didn’t go back to bed. I hadn’t slept much last night, but I suddenly wasn’t tired. There was adrenaline in my veins, along with dread and fear. Anytime I wanted something, I usually got it. But in this instance, there was something standing in my way.

  Cane Barsetti.

  “Are you alright?” Carmen joined me in the living room wearing only my t-shirt. With messy hair and thoroughly kissed lips, she looked like a fantasy.

  “Just talking to my brother.”

  “How is he?”

  “Happy we’re together.”

  She sat beside me and pressed her knees together. “Your brother is very sweet. He really loves you.”

  “I know. I’m very lucky.” He had my back even when I didn’t deserve it.

  “He tried to convince me to stay…tried to make sure I wouldn’t leave you.”

  I nodded. “He told me.”

  “I thought it was sweet that he would put himself out there like that, confront me and remind me how amazing you are…like there was any chance I would forget.”

  He was the best guy I knew. I hoped one day I would be able to repay him somehow. “So, where do w
e start?” The only thing standing in our way was her family, and that was an obstacle that seemed impossible to overcome.

  She stared at me for a long time, clearly not having an answer. “I don’t know…”

  “I intend to keep working at the casino until we figure it out. When the time comes, I’m prepared to walk away…but I’m not going to do it prematurely.” She already had my commitment, so the second everything was ready, I would honor what I’d said. But it didn’t seem fair for me to give up everything when we didn’t know what would happen with her father. “I hope you understand.”

  “I do.”

  “Do you want me to approach your father? I will if you want me to.”

  “Oh no,” she said with a slightly deranged laugh. “No, no, no. That’s a terrible idea…”

  The only reason I didn’t tell her I’d already met her father was because I’d told her father I wouldn’t. If I said he marched down here and tried to pay me off, it would hurt their relationship. That was the last thing I wanted, to come between a father and a daughter. But that also forced me to be complicit in a lie. “Then where should we begin?”

  “I guess I’ll talk to him…just the two of us. I don’t want to blindside him by bringing you along. I don’t even think I’ll get my mother involved in this.”

  I wondered how Cane would handle it, if he would pretend he’d never met me. He didn’t seem like the kind of man who would lie, but he also wouldn’t risk upsetting his daughter either.

  “I’ll talk to him first. See what he says. And hopefully…the two of you can sit down together, and we can go from there.”

  We’d already sat down together, and he told me he wanted me to disappear. I wasn’t good enough for his daughter, despite everything I did for her. Maybe stepping away from this lifestyle would change his mind. Maybe it wouldn’t. “Alright.”