Buttons and Shame Page 8

It was the first time I slept through the night.

  Tristan didn’t wake me up in the dead of night to fuck me. My stomach didn’t growl with hunger. I wasn’t scared of Cane bursting through the door just to choke me. When my eyes closed, they didn’t open again. I slept better than I had in a long time.

  When I woke up the following morning, the sun came through the window at my bedside. I could see the cathedral in all its glory, sparkling in the light of the sun. Its stained-glass windows looked even more glorious than they did the night before.

  I’d never had plans to see Italy, but now that I was here, I realized what a treasure it was. I could see the fields in the distance, the grape leaves hanging from the vines. People walked down the cobblestone streets with their morning coffee in hand. There was something about the atmosphere here that I adored. Everything moved slowly. People didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get anywhere like they did in America.

  If I weren’t a captive, I’d probably be thrilled to wake up to such a beautiful morning.

  I would stay in my bedroom all day to avoid Cane, but I really had to pee. Plus, I was hungry. Last night, he proved to me that I was dead-on about his character. He wasn’t a monster like the others. He might be rough around the edges, but there were certain lines he wouldn’t cross. He had a heart inside that rock-hard chest of his. It might be small and almost unnoticeable, but it was there.

  I was lucky.

  My time with Cane would only last thirty-one days, but I was grateful for the break. It was pretty much a vacation for me. I wouldn’t have to be fucked in the ass in the middle of the night as I sobbed into the sheets. I could eat whenever I wanted. I could use the bathroom like a human being.

  It was a dream come true.

  I cracked the door and peered into the hallway. I didn’t hear a peep from the apartment, so perhaps he was still asleep. I went into the bathroom and did my business then washed my face in the sink. I’d had a shower the day before, but it was such a privilege to have the cold water splash onto my face.

  I walked back into the living room and ventured into the kitchen. Cane was sitting at the dining table with his laptop and papers scattered around him. There was also a peculiar syringe right beside him.

  I wasn’t sure if he noticed me. If he didn’t, I was going to try to disappear once more. After last night, any interaction we had would be awkward. I was stuck with him for a month so I needed to make the best of it—but that seemed unlikely.

  “Eat.” He didn’t take his eyes off his work. “I made you a plate. Sit down.”

  I noticed the plate beside him, two scrambled eggs, two pieces of bacon, and toast.

  “Coffee is on the counter. I’m not making that for you.” He sipped his mug then typed on the keyboard.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I had coffee. That sounded so delicious. I poured myself a mug and added a little creamer before I sat down. The second my butt touched the chair, he stuck the needle into my arm and hit the clicker on top. The needle went in and implanted something right unde my skin.

  “What the hell?” I swatted his arm away and looked at the tiny drop of blood that formed from the wound.

  “A tracker.” He turned back to his computer like nothing had just happened.

  “A tracker?”

  “Yeah. I have a friend who uses one. Swears by it.”

  “A lot of your friends hold women against their will?”

  He smiled like it was a joke. “Just my brother.”

  “Disgusting.” My craving for my coffee had disappeared, but I drank it anyway. Cane pissed me off, but he was tolerable. I could sit at the dining table and eat like a human being. He treated me with more dignity and respect than other men I’d come across during my tenure in Europe. But I refused to show him too much respect, because if he really were a good person, he would offer to help me.

  But he never did.

  “I’m disgusting, huh?” he asked. “How about I knock your food on the ground? See who’s disgusting then.”

  I’d eat it right off the ground. I didn’t care. “Do it. Food is food.”

  He finally turned his eyes on me, seeming interested in what I said. He hadn’t shaved his face last night, so his beard was a little thicker. He had a nice jaw, the kind I saw in movies and TV. He had nice teeth too, perfectly straight and white. His dark brown hair nearly looked black, and it was cut short and close to his scalp. But if I ran my fingers through it, I suspected there would be enough length for me to play with.

  I should look away from his gaze, but I didn’t. I chose to look into his green eyes and marvel at how pretty they were. Eyes like that didn’t happen every generation. He really had something special, something unique. I wondered if his brother shared the same characteristics. “Why do you need a slave when you can get any girl you want?” I had no right to ask him anything, but since I was subjected to his company, I was curious. He really didn’t need me at all. He was wealthy and attractive. He could hit on a girl in a bar and have her stay for the weekend.

  “Get any girl I want, huh?” he asked as he turned back to his computer. “Thanks for the compliment, but that’s not accurate.”

  “I doubt it.” If she didn’t know about his criminal activities, she would have no reason to be prejudiced. If I had met him under different circumstances, I’d probably go on a date with him. He might even score at the end of the night.

  “I can’t get you, right?” He didn’t speak with bitterness, just calm honesty.

  “Well…” When I couldn’t think of anything better to say, I drank my coffee. When he came into my room and pressed his face between my legs, it was the first time I felt that heat burn in my blood. His tongue felt good right against my clit. None of Tristan’s men had tried to make me feel good. All they did was try to break me so they could get off to my tears.

  He changed the subject when we reached a dead end. “I’m moving in to my new place this afternoon. We’ll be there for a few days until I return you to Tristan. I have too much stuff to do right now to take off again.”

  I was just about to sip my coffee when I digested his words. “What do you mean, return me to Tristan?”

  He was quiet for a long time as he finished reading something on his computer. It didn’t seem like he was going to say anything at all. “Our arrangement didn’t work out the way I wanted—as you’ve figured out. There’s no point in me keeping you.”

  “But you’re supposed to keep me for thirty-one days.”

  “I’m aware,” he said coldly. “But I guess I don’t have as much of a backbone as I thought. The shipment is on its way, but it hasn’t reached him yet. I can still pull out, so there’s no harm done.”

  I couldn’t go back to that nightmare, not this soon. I could finally eat when I wanted and sleep all through the night. I didn’t have to walk on eggshells or be terrified anymore. Cane didn’t need to have his hand wrapped around my throat to have a decent conversation with me.

  I couldn’t go back.

  I couldn’t handle it.

  Cane closed his laptop and organized his folders. “My driver is picking us up in an hour. Be ready by then.” He left the table and took his things with him.

  I stayed behind with my uneaten plate. I suddenly lost my appetite, which was a miracle considering the fact that I’d been starved for so long. Steam drifted from my coffee up to the ceiling, and I watched it drift past my face. A pain formed in the pit of my stomach and anxiety seeped in. I’d only been Tristan’s prisoner for a short period of time, but the idea of returning to that terrible place gave me anxiety.

  I didn’t want him to touch me.

  I didn’t want him to hurt me.

  I didn’t want anyone to be near me.

  11

  Cane

  I didn’t hear a peep from her all day.

  We pulled up to my new piece of real estate, and I was pleased with how well the gardeners handled the roses and the bushes. The green lawn was perfectly manicured and
led to high walls covered with ivy.

  It was perfect.

  It was a two-story Tuscan style home with redwood windows and a curved door at the entrance. It was large for one person, but I craved privacy from the rest of civilization. Plus, I’d accumulated a lot of wealth over the last few years, and I wanted to invest it in something smart.

  And the place was beautiful.

  I got out and walked up to the place, noticing the butterflies that drifted across the property. There was lots of shade from the trees, protection from the powerful Tuscan sun. The breeze ruffled the leaves and made natural music against my ear.

  It already felt like home.

  I got the front door unlocked and stepped inside. My designer incorporated everything I asked for, turning the place into a tasteful home. All the women would love it, obviously. And my guests would feel comfortable.

  My driver carried all of my bags inside and to the master bedroom on the second story. I’d bought my guest some clothes even though it was a poor investment. I was returning her in a few days, and Tristan would probably throw everything away and strip her down to her bra and panties.

  She wandered in behind me, admiring the large entryway and the living room with an enormous fireplace. The hearth was three times the size of the average fireplace. The white furniture contrasted against the cream walls with different colored pillows. I preferred darker colors, but my designer insisted it didn’t match the quality of the home. Since she knew about this stuff better than I did, I trusted her. “You can have one of the guest rooms. Doesn’t matter to me.”

  Now that she was off-limits, I pushed her from my mind and concentrated on work. Crow was still riding my ass about the money, so it was a good thing I was returning her and stopping the shipment. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to begin with.

  I still wanted to fuck her, but I made my peace with it. I thought I could be the man I once was, the monster that took what he wanted with little regard for other people’s feelings. But it seemed like that version of myself had died the moment Pearl sacrificed herself for me. My brother would never allow me to be alone with his wife as long as we lived because of my mistake. I couldn’t go back to that—not after I hurt someone I loved.

  “Cane?”

  “Hmm?” I stepped farther into the room and admired the artwork the decorator had selected. This one in particular was of a woman in a sun hat moving through the farmers market in Florence. Her face wasn’t visible, but one of her hands reached out to grab an orange. The details of her digits alone were fascinating. She wore one ruby along with a gold bracelet. She had the kind of bone structure that made me assume she was beautiful, that whatever was underneath that hat was something truly incredible.

  “Don’t send me back.”

  I recognized the desperation in her voice. Above all else, I noticed the fear. I turned around and looked at her, only partially pitying her. “There’s nothing I can do. I have no use for you.” I wasn’t going to keep her around and let my shipment go as planned if I wasn’t being fairly compensated for the exchange. And right now, I was only babysitting her.

  “And what if I became useful to you?”

  My heart palpitated at the question, hearing the implication in her words. I slowly turned around and faced her, seeing the red tint in her cheeks and the discomfort in her eyes. Like any other time I looked at her, my cock swelled like a balloon. Something about her made me turn into a simple man with simple needs. All I wanted to do was pound my cock inside her and listen to her scream. “Prove how useful you are. We’ll see what happens.”

  I hadn’t called Tristan yet because I was curious to see what my guest would offer me. My intention wasn’t to blackmail her. If she didn’t want to be there, I wouldn’t force her to do anything. Logically, I should send her back.

  But this worked out in my favor.

  Now she had to decide where she’d rather spend the next month. Underneath me or underneath him.

  The choice shouldn’t be difficult.

  I sat in the living room and stared at the enormous flames in the fireplace. The windows were still open, and the nighttime darkness crept inside. Something about being in the middle of nowhere put me at ease. I used to love the loud cacophony of the city, especially when I headed to bars and picked up a woman for the night, but now my interest had faded.

  I wasn’t sure what I wanted.

  She stepped into the living room with a dark blanket covering her body from head to toe. She appeared to be cold despite the fact that it’d been a hot afternoon. The AC had been working at full blast earlier, but once the sun set and the fog settled in, it became cool again.

  I eyed her from my spot on the couch, my cock hardening in my jeans the second we were in the same room together. I couldn’t explain my attraction to this woman; those beautiful blue eyes and those soft features weren’t that unique. But something about her made me run ten degrees warmer than usual.

  I knew she found me attractive. She complimented me once, and when my face was pressed between her legs, I knew she liked it. Her prejudice against me would never die because I was a criminal, but her body wasn’t so picky.

  I took another drink of my scotch as I watched her stand in the corner, her reluctance obvious. My cock continued to harden and thicken with every passing minute. I missed looking at her beautiful tits. They were small but firm. I understood Tristan’s obsession better than anyone else because I shared the same desire.

  She finally stepped farther into the room, the blanket trailing behind her. She approached the couch, her silhouette dark as the fire burned behind her. She looked down at me before she dropped the fabric to the ground.

  She was still a silhouette to me, but a damn provocative one. Her sultry hourglass figure was unbelievable. She wore a black thong and nothing else. She had wide hips, a petite waist, and the sexiest legs I’d ever seen.

  I didn’t even notice the scars.

  I kept my breathing under control and didn’t give my desperation away. I’d wanted to be inside her pussy since the first time I laid eyes on her in that airport. Maybe my obsession was shallow, and after I had her, I would lose interest.

  I didn’t move because I wanted to see what she would do next. Whatever movement she made next was of her own free will. I wasn’t making her do a damn thing, and that freed me of any guilt I had.

  I drank my scotch again, my eyes glued to her perfect tits.

  She grabbed the glass and set it on the table beside me, taking over like a woman in charge. She moved on top of me and straddled my hips until her panties rested right over my hard cock inside my jeans.

  I lost control of my reaction and took a deep breath in anticipation. She was right on top of me, her weight featherlight and her smell intoxicating. She didn’t wear any perfume, so her heavenly scent was natural.

  My hands immediately went to her thighs, and I gave them a gentle squeeze. Her skin was soft like I expected it to be, warm to the touch. I rested against the cushion and looked up into her face, seeing the dark strands of hair cover one eye.

  My hand dove in and pulled the hair from her cheeks, revealing the beautiful features I noticed the moment I set eyes on her. Even with the faint bruising, she was stunning. Her lips were full and plump, perfect for my mouth to worship. She had high cheekbones and almond-shaped eyes, giving her a natural elegance that reminded me of a queen. My hands slid to her hips, and I adjusted her on top of me, wanting her to sit directly on my raging hard-on.

  She needed to know how much I wanted her.

  I wanted to give her the reins to do exactly what she wanted, but my need for control overpowered my patience. I sat up and moved, pulling her tighter against me, her perky tits right against my chest. My mouth moved to hers, and I kissed her.

  I didn’t care for kissing. I preferred as little foreplay as possible. I wanted to get down to the good stuff, getting my cock sucked hard before I fucked my woman until she screamed. Kissing and touching were unnecessary for m
e to bring a woman to her climax.

  But I wanted to kiss her.

  My mouth suddenly felt numb the second I met her lips. So hot that it actually felt cold, the contact was overwhelming. Gentle jolts of lightning entered my body, making my spine tighten and the rest of my muscles contract. The kiss affected my entire body just as much as it affected my mouth.

  My hand moved down the steep curve of her back until I reached her ass. My fingers gripped the back of her thong, and I wrapped the fabric around my knuckles. I wanted a firm grip on her because I had no intention of ever letting this woman go.

  The kiss started off slow and soft. I moved my mouth with hers and felt her hesitancy at kissing me back. She was there with me, but not in the same way I was. The simple embrace already satisfied my urge to have her. She still struggled to return the embrace, to give me the kind of passion I was giving her.

  My other hand moved up her back until it found her cheek. I cupped her gently as I deepened the kiss, moving my mouth harder against hers and feeling her breath fill my lungs. My fingers felt the soft strands of her hair, and I pictured how they would feel against my bare chest.

  I broke apart just for an instant to get my shirt off. I wanted to feel those gorgeous tits right against my chest. I wanted her hard nipples to rub against my powerful muscles until they were raw.

  I didn’t care that she didn’t want to kiss me. I was happy just to have her, to have a forced fantasy even if it wasn’t real. My hands explored her everywhere, touching the beautiful curves her body possessed. I loved the tightness of her stomach, the way her waist curved inward until it reached her hips. She was petite, small enough for me to pick up with a single arm.

  As much as I wanted to keep kissing her, I broke apart and moved my lips to her neck. I tasted her skin with my tongue, memorizing her taste. I hugged her harder then gripped the back of her hair before I tugged her head back. I kissed her chest and licked the small valley between her breasts. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” My lips trailed back up her neck and to her ear, where I gave her a hot kiss. “Goddamn gorgeous.” I turned my face back to hers and stared at her lips, seeing the slight way they were parted. Her small teeth were cute, and I pictured knocking my own teeth against hers when I kissed her too hard.