Lover Page 7

  After our candid conversation, I felt more comfortable with him, but I wasn’t ready to restart the physical relationship we had before. I’d been home for six weeks, and we hadn’t kissed once. The only time I saw him naked was when I helped him get dressed.

  When he realized nothing was going to happen, he prepared to turn away. “I have a meeting I should get to. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  I watched him turn away with guilt in my heart, and that pain made me spring to my feet and move after him. I grabbed the front of his suit and gently tugged him back toward me.

  When his head turned back to me, there was already a playful smile on his lips.

  I pulled him against me until our lips pressed together. It was a gentle embrace, a closed-mouth kiss that was tame. But I felt the electricity we used to share, the physical desire I’d had for him since the day we met. The chemistry was always there, no matter what we’d been through.

  His body pressed into me harder, and one hand slipped beneath my hair. He cushioned the back of my neck with his fingers and deepened the kiss. His other arm circled my waist, and he brought me close to his chest. It was the way he used to kiss me, like he wasn’t thinking of anyone else but me.

  I tried not to think of anyone else besides my husband, but I knew that would take time. For now, it was just baby steps.

  He pulled away first, his eyes on my lips like he wanted the kiss to continue. After he gave me a final squeeze, he let me go. The sense of loss was in his eyes, as if he wanted to keep kissing me and wanted to make love to me on my desk.

  I probably would…if I had been ready.

  To mask the sensual tension between us, I changed the subject. “Where is your meeting?”

  “In the restaurant.”

  He never met the board there, so I wasn’t sure what he was up to. “Who are you meeting?”

  He didn’t blink as he answered the question. “The mafia.”

  “You’re being serious?” I knew he was telling the truth because I’d witnessed them in my hotel before. It gave me a sickly feeling, like my entire body was pierced by blades. My family’s legacy had been built on a bedrock of crime. I wanted to change that, but I had no idea how.

  “I never joke about the mafia.”

  “Why do you have to meet them in the hotel?”

  “Because that’s how it’s always been.” He could read the unease in my gaze. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I still don’t like it.”

  “I’m sorry, but that’s how it is.” He headed back to the door. “I’ll pick you up at the end of the day.”

  I was still at my desk when Damien walked inside. He helped himself to the chair in front of my desk. “So…is he still mad?”

  Hades was in a much better mood, but I suspected that would change once Damien was mentioned. “Yes. And I don’t think it’s a good time to talk to him about it, if that’s what you’re planning on doing.”

  “Why?”

  “Because we finally talked about…you know. The wounds are still pretty fresh.”

  Damien’s eyes turned sad. “Are you doing okay?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I feel like I have no one to talk to. It’s such a terrible thing, and I don’t want to hurt the people I love. Talking about it only makes them feel worse.”

  “You can always talk to me.”

  My eyes narrowed slightly.

  “I can’t give the best advice, but I can listen. I can hug you if that’s what you need. I can tell you everything is gonna be okay and mean it.”

  Hades was right to be upset with Damien, but I felt bad for my husband’s best friend. He was like a dog that didn’t understand his misbehavior. He’d had no idea where his choices would lead, and if he had, he never would’ve gone through with them. He would give his life for mine in a heartbeat. “Thank you. But I think I’m okay.”

  “Hades was really upset about the whole thing. I won’t go into the specifics.”

  “I know…” When I saw the tears in his eyes, I knew the depth of his heart. “Hades should be back pretty soon, so you should get going.”

  He sighed loudly. “The guy won’t even talk to me.”

  “It’s gonna take some time. Let the dust settle.”

  He bowed his head.

  When I looked at the clock, I knew it was time to pack up. I’d opened my top drawer to put all my files away when I noticed the box of tampons sitting there. I didn’t think twice about it at first and dropped my paperwork insides.

  Damien spoke again. “We’ve been friends forever. I can’t picture my life without him. I know things have been shit this last year, but before this, everything was fine. We’ve been brothers…”

  “Shit.”

  Damien narrowed his gaze. “What?”

  My thoughts went to a different place as I tried to remember the date of my last period. The last time I needed tampons, I was sitting in this office. That meant it’d been over a month since my last period. I was late…really late. My cycle was always regular, and this had never happened before. I’d been on the shot for years, and I tried to recall my last injection. I was pretty sure I’d missed my last appointment because of all the shit that was going on.

  When Damien didn’t get an answer, he spoke again, “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah…no.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  I slammed the drawer shut and felt my heart race a million miles an hour. The truth was staring me in the face, and I wasn’t ready to accept it. Being pregnant was a joyous moment, a blessing any woman would be lucky to have. In normal circumstances, I would be happy about the addition to our family, even if it was sooner than we wanted.

  But who was the father?

  I wasn’t sure how far along I was, but it’d been over two months since I’d last been with Hades, and the rest of the time, I had been with Maddox. There was no way to know exactly when the medication wore off. Hades could’ve knocked me up before I was taken, or Maddox could’ve done it while I was his slave.

  But God, I hoped it was the first.

  Abortion never crossed my mind, because I would keep any baby I would ever have. Even if it was a one-night stand with a random guy, I could take care of a baby on my own. But that father of my child being a rapist…I wasn’t so sure about that.

  And Hades wouldn’t like it either.

  Just when I’d started to heal and see myself as still desirable, this happened.

  This fucking freight train.

  Damien continued to sit there. “Okay…you’re freaking me out.”

  I’d forgotten he was there. “I just realized something…”

  “Care to enlighten me?”

  I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell anyone. “No…I can’t talk about it right now.” I glanced at the clock on the wall. “You should go. He’s gonna be here any…”

  Hades appeared in the doorway, ice-cold at the sight of his former friend. He entered the room with a defensive posture and looked down at the man he’d marked as an enemy. His eyes were filled with loathing. Silently, he stood there.

  Damien stayed in the seat and met Hades’s gaze. He was apologetic, but he continued to hold his unbreakable attitude. The two men were wolves, not attacking, but always watching.

  Hades was still as a statue. “Don’t bother my wife.”

  Damien slowly got to his feet.

  Even though I was overwhelmed by my news, I still fought for Damien. “He’s not bothering me.”

  Hades didn’t look at me. “Well, he’s bothering me.”

  Damien held his gaze for a second longer, his hands resting in his pockets. “Look, I said I was sorry, and I meant it…”

  Hades lost his shit right on the spot. “I don’t give a fuck if you’re sorry. My wife was raped, and I almost died to save her. All because you don’t know how to fucking listen. I almost lost the most important thing in the world because you’re like a child. I had to keep one eye on you at all times. You think a
n apology is gonna make Sofia forget what happened to her? What happened to me?” He started to move toward Damien, as if he was going to punch him in the mouth.

  I grabbed Hades by the arm and kept him against me. “I don’t blame Damien.”

  He yanked his arm out of my grasp. “I do. And if he doesn’t get the hell out of here, I’m gonna beat him to within an inch of his life and leave him in the field where he found me.”

  Damien looked at Hades, watching his nostrils flare with rage. He didn’t try to defend himself. He didn’t try to smooth things over. He didn’t even look mad at the threats. Instead, he looked heartbroken, like he was about to cry just the way Hades had cried the other night. He bowed his head and headed to the door. “I’m sorry.” He stopped in the doorway and didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  15

  Hades

  I knew Damien was sorry.

  But I didn’t give a shit.

  Every time I looked at him, all I could think about was what happened to my wife. What happened to me. My world crashed down around me, and instead of breaking the curse, I prolonged it.

  I would suffer in this hell forever.

  Damien needed to remain in my life because we needed to dispose of Maddox together. We would have to cooperate and collaborate if we hoped to achieve that. Putting aside our differences seemed easy in theory. But in real life, it was impossible.

  I took Sofia home, and we sat in silence in the back seat. She had been calmer around me before, and we’d even shared a spectacular kiss in her office. But all that magic had been wiped away after Damien emerged. I tried not to let his presence spoil that small victory, but it was difficult.

  Normally, Sofia would tell me that I was being too harsh with Damien, that I needed to calm down and forgive him. But now, she looked out the window, so quiet it was like I wasn’t even there. Like that kiss never happened…or at least, it seemed that way.

  We returned to the house and entered our bedroom. Sofia immediately walked into the bathroom, and a moment later, I heard the water running to fill that bath. The door remained closed, and she didn’t come out for several hours.

  I sat on the balcony in the freezing cold air, my expensive suit still on, and I thought about how Sofia’s attitude had completely flipped. She judged me for my cruelty, but she had no idea how hurt I was. My best friend fucking betrayed me. It wasn’t intentional, but it was still a betrayal nonetheless.

  How could she think less of me?

  My relationship with Damien was none of her business. Just as her relationship with her mother was none of mine.

  I stewed in my anger for hours, unaffected by the cold air. I never got sick, so that wasn’t a concern. I needed the cold temperature to freeze the rage in my temples. Sometimes I wondered if I put the blame on Damien so I wouldn’t have to feel the burden myself. She was my wife, so I was responsible too.

  But I was too traumatized to accept that fact.

  It was easier to blame him.

  I wanted to storm into the bathroom and demand her affection, like she could just turn it on with the press of a button. I was frustrated because I wanted her so much—not just physically, but emotionally. I’d gotten a taste of it when she grabbed the front of my suit and pulled me in for a kiss.

  It was the most healing I had received in a month.

  It was like a warm fire that thawed my bones. Once that blaze was extinguished, I was frozen once again. And miserable. And bitter.

  As if that kiss had never happened, she was cold once again.

  She only got dressed in the bathroom, and we didn’t snuggle in bed. The most affection I got from her was the occasional hug. But it was like hugging your aunt…no heat. It was practically obligatory.

  What the fuck was I going to do?

  A week went by, and our relationship didn’t improve. It was on a steady decline, getting worse and worse. I went to her office to pick her up at the end of the day, but I wasn’t sure if I could keep my rage bottled deep inside. I was angry with her, when I had no right to be. I was asking for something she couldn’t give.

  But when I walked inside and saw the way she hardly looked at me, I snapped. “Look at me.” I stood in front of her desk and looked down at her, my hands in my pockets. I watched the way she looked over her paperwork like that was more important than I would ever be. I’d asked her not to shut me out, but she did it anyway. Now she was doing it worse than before. My voice didn’t rise, but its potency made the walls vibrate. I wasn’t angry at her…just angry with this ghost version of her.

  She lifted her gaze and met my eyes, her entire body rigid with unease. That hostile fire wasn’t in her eyes like it used to be.

  “Put that shit down and stand up.” I hadn’t spoken to her like this in a long time, but my patience had officially expired. “When your husband walks in the door, you give him your full attention. You hug him, you kiss him, and you make him feel like a king. I always treat you like a queen, and I demand that same respect.”

  She slowly rose to her feet and looked extremely timid.

  “I thought we’d made progress after our last conversation, but then I screamed at Damien, and you shut off. I know you suffered in ways I can never understand, but I suffered too. I took a beating that nearly killed me, and I don’t regret it because it gave me you. But I have emotional scars that I am carrying, and I need you to comfort me. This is a two-way street. This is a marriage. We need to be there for each other. So, stop treating me like I don’t matter. Treat me like your husband.”

  Emotion welled in her eyes, but she didn’t form tears. Her arms crossed over her chest, and her gaze drifted down to the floor. Her right hand rubbed her left arm absentmindedly, like she was comforting herself under my stare.

  “I told you to look at me.”

  She lifted her chin once again and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry… I’m just stressed out right now.”

  “I’m stressed out too. But that doesn’t stop me from loving…” I controlled my response before it turned into something I would regret. “It doesn’t stop me from being a husband to you.”

  Her eyes shifted back and forth as she looked into mine. She didn’t seem to understand what I had been about to say, that I was about to tell her how much I loved her.

  “This is the hand we’ve been dealt. We need to work to make it better. Shutting down and ignoring each other is not the solution. Working our asses off is a solution. You need to meet me halfway here.”

  She tightened her arms around her body. “I know…”

  “Then be better.”

  She dropped her gaze.

  “Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”

  She looked at the floor a moment longer before she lifted her chin to meet my look. There was no confidence in her eyes, just a look of fear. She responded with an answer that contradicted her expression. “No.”

  She wouldn’t lie to me, so I let it go. “Then get your ass over here and kiss me.”

  There was a pause of several seconds before she obeyed. She slowly moved around the desk before she walked up to me. She stopped when there was a foot between us, like she needed some space before she could give me what I wanted.

  “I’m not asking for more than what you can give. I just want you…” I would never demand her to strip off her clothes and get into bed. I would never force her to rush into a physical relationship if she wasn’t ready. But I needed her affection, needed to know that we still had each other.

  “Hades, it’s not you…”

  “Sometimes it feels like it is.”

  “It’s not… I promise. I just…”

  “What?”

  She took a long time to answer. “I’m just overwhelmed, I guess.”

  “You don’t need to feel overwhelmed with me. Whatever happens out there doesn’t affect what happens with us. This relationship is for life. There is nothing in this world that will ever divide us. When I married you, I pledged m
y loyalty, my lifelong commitment, my devotion. Nothing will break that. Ever.”

  Her eyes shone with emotion before they tilted to the ground.

  My fingers moved under her chin, and I lifted her gaze. “Nothing.”

  She slowly moved into my chest and rested her forehead against my hard body. She took a deep breath when she felt me, like she was letting the stress evaporate from her skin.

  My arms wrapped around her waist, and I pulled her close to me, holding her like she needed this as much as I did. I smelled her hair, felt her beautiful curves, held my wife like a man madly in love.

  She must know I loved her…because it was so fucking obvious.

  It was so obvious that I was desperately, stupidly, ridiculously in love with my wife.

  16

  Sofia

  The hotel was the only place I had privacy, so I sat on the toilet in the bathroom with the stick in my hand. I held it between my fingers and stared at the results.

  Pregnant.

  I wasn’t shocked by the results because I already knew that’s what it would say. I hadn’t had a period in almost two months. Since I was so regular, that just wasn’t normal. I wasn’t some scared teenager who wasn’t ready to be a mother. I was a grown-ass woman who wanted a family.

  Just not like this.

  I had no idea who the father was. I’d slept with Hades the night before I was captured, so maybe that was the moment I conceived. But it easily could’ve happened when I was a prisoner of Maddox.

  No way to know.

  What would Hades say when I told him? Just when we tried to move past what happened, this curve ball was thrown our way. We could’ve moved on, but now that there was a baby in the mix, we would always be reminded of what happened.

  We wouldn’t survive that.

  When Hades told me he was committed to me forever, I almost told him the truth. But I knew he wouldn’t be as supportive if he knew I was pregnant by the man who’d raped me. He’d be disgusted, probably ask me to get an abortion.