Sassy in Lingerie: Lingerie #8 Page 4

I knew he went the extra mile for me.

  We stepped inside the elevator and rode it to the lobby. Bones didn’t show his displeasure over our dinner plans even though he was probably dreading them. Anytime he was with my father, he turned into a punching bag of insults.

  I looked at him, seeing him display the same indifferent exterior he always had plastered on his face. “Thanks for doing this…”

  The doors opened, and he stepped out first. “Don’t overthink it.”

  “Overthink it? This is going to be just as shitty as last time.”

  “Then there’s no reason to stress about it. We know what’s gonna happen.” We got into his truck then headed down the road. The restaurant we were going to was close by. It was a nice place, but more on the casual side of the spectrum. It was a restaurant we’d never been to before, and I suspected that was because my father wanted to go to a place where he didn’t know the owner.

  The closer we got to the restaurant, the more my heart started to palpitate. My palms were sweaty and cold at the same time. Nothing would happen tonight that was worse than what had already happened, but there was so much at risk.

  My happiness.

  I needed my family to accept him, but unless I held a gun to their head and forced them, I didn’t think it was possible.

  Bones parked the truck in the parking lot then turned to me. “You need to relax, baby.”

  “I didn’t say anything,” I said defensively.

  “You don’t need to say anything to tell me how you feel. You’re wound up so tight you might snap in half.” He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips to kiss it. “Be yourself. Talk to them the way you normally do. The more casual you make it, the easier it’ll be for them.”

  “My father doesn’t like casual. He likes intensity as much as you do.”

  “But your mother doesn’t. While your father is the head of the household, she calls all the shots. If she wants me to stay, she has the power to make it happen. Remember that.”

  “But she’s probably the one more likely to say no…” She’d been the victim of his father when she was my age. It was the kind of suffering you didn’t just forget about.

  “Women are more compassionate than men. But she’s also more logical than your father. She can separate emotional thinking from logical thinking.”

  “You gathered all of this from being around them a few times?”

  He shrugged. “They’re pretty easy to read. One thing is clear…they’re a team. Your father might be the only one in the room with me sometimes, but he definitely discusses everything with her. After all, she was the one who killed my father. I’ve been told she stashed a knife inside her stitches, and then when she was alone with him, she ripped the knife out and stabbed him to death.”

  My jaw dropped. “Jesus Christ…”

  He nodded.

  “Fucking badass.”

  Bones didn’t crack a smile, probably because his father was the victim of the situation. He didn’t get mad about it either, understanding my family had every right to do what they did. “My father actually captured your uncle. Held him as captive and asked to switch him for your mom. Crow wouldn’t do it, obviously. Your mother made the switch behind his back. She saved your uncle and killed my father all on her own.”

  I knew my mother was a strong woman, but I had no grasp of her true bravery. She willing went back to her former tormentor to save my father’s brother. She killed him on her own—with no one’s help. I knew exactly where my strongest qualities came from, but now I was even more proud of them. “Wow…”

  “Point is, she has as much power in the decision as he does.”

  “But you’ve never tried talking to her.”

  “Like your father wants me anywhere near her. That would cross the line. I would call her or stop by for a private conversation, but that would piss off your father so much that it would be counterproductive.”

  When it came to my mother, my father did turn into a guard dog.

  “Let’s go.” He killed the engine, and we hopped out of the truck.

  Bones didn’t hold my hand or show me any kind of affection. All he did was open the door for me, and to anyone watching us, we would seem like two people who hardly knew each other—not lovers.

  My parents had a table in the corner, with significant space around it as if it was a table they gave to customers who required a lot of privacy. The other tables were filled with families and couples enjoying wine and their dinner.

  Bones let me walk first, and I headed to the table with dread in my heart. My father didn’t even look at me because he was too busy staring at Bones, like he suspected my lover would make a sudden movement and kill everyone in the restaurant.

  It made me sick.

  My mother rose from her seat and greeted me with a hug. Nothing could stop her from smiling at me, regardless of how she felt about the man standing behind me. Her eyes glowed with happiness anytime she looked at me, like she always missed me—no matter what our circumstances were. “Hey, sweetheart.”

  “Hey, Mama.”

  She squeezed my arm before she stepped aside so I could greet my father. She looked at Bones like she didn’t know what to do. She stared at him with her blue eyes, examining him not with hatred but reluctance. “I feel rude not shaking your hand, but I’m just not ready for that yet…”

  Bones didn’t seem the least bit offended. “I understand.”

  My father hugged me next, embracing me the way he always did. He squeezed me and kissed me on the forehead, treasuring me with his unconditional love. He hated the man I was sleeping with and thought I was stupid for being with him, but that would never change the way he felt about me. “Tesoro, you look nice.”

  “Thanks, Father.”

  When my father looked at Bones, his affection disappeared instantly. The only greeting he gave Bones was a cold look.

  Bones didn’t wait for the handshake that wasn’t coming. He pulled out the chair so I could sit down and took a seat in the other chair.

  “It’s nice to see both of you,” Bones said politely.

  My father stared at him like he’d just heard an insult instead of a greeting.

  My mother was the only one who could say something back. “Thank you.” She grabbed her menu and looked down at it.

  Bones didn’t seem to care about the cold response. He would normally have his arm resting on the back of my chair or his hand on my thigh, but he didn’t do either of those things. He kept his hands in his lap, taking up as little space as possible. He was by far the most handsome man in the room, gorgeous from head to toe. If I weren’t so involved in the situation, I would be pissed about all the women making eyes at him.

  My father sat directly across from Bones with the menu in his hands. He barely looked at the menu for more than a few seconds before he looked at Bones again, like he might miss something important.

  Things seemed to be getting worse rather than better.

  “What are you getting?” I asked Bones as I held my menu for him to read.

  “Salmon.”

  “You always eat fish.”

  He shrugged. “I like it.”

  “Well, I’m getting the lasagna.” I shut my menu then grabbed the piece of bread from the basket.

  “Good choice,” he said.

  My mother shut her menu then grabbed her glass of red wine. “So…how are you?” There was no good way to break the ice between all of us. This was a terrible situation, uncomfortable for everyone.

  “Good,” I answered. “I’ve been working on my artwork. Griffin has been working in his office a lot.”

  “Are you painting at his place?” Mom asked quizzically.

  A part of me wanted to lie, but I knew we had to be honest about everything. “Griffin made me an art studio at his place. It has a large window that overlooks the city, and it has the perfect morning light. It has enough room for all my supplies.”

  “Oh, that’s nice,” Mom said. “That expla
ins how you can fit all those paintings somewhere.”

  My father set down his menu and stared at Bones without blinking.

  Bones held his gaze, maintaining the standoff.

  God, this was bad.

  “Are you two living together?” Mom asked, her eyebrow raised.

  “No,” I said quickly. “I just spend a lot of time there. After the whole thing with Knuckles, my apartment has never felt the same.”

  My father’s eyes shifted to me. “Why didn’t you tell me that? I could have gotten you a better place. I could have bought you anything you wanted—”

  “I didn’t tell you because I knew that was exactly what you would say,” I said quickly. “I don’t want your money, Father. I’ve already taken enough from you.”

  “I don’t mind giving it to you, tesoro,” he said. “I would much rather you take my money than stay with trash like him.”

  I respected my father’s anger, but I was getting fed up with the insults. “Stop talking to him like—”

  “Let it go,” Bones said. “It’s fine. He can call me whatever he wants.”

  “And I will.” My father clenched his jaw. “And I can get you a new place to stay.”

  “It’s not just about the place,” I said. “I just like knowing…” I didn’t finish my sentence, not wanting to share anything too intimate that would make the conversation even more tense. “He makes me feel safe. I already said that.”

  “Conway is right down the road,” my father said. “You can stay with him.”

  “He’s getting married and has a baby on the way,” I said. “He doesn’t want me there.”

  “Then find another guy,” my father countered. “A better one, and one who isn’t a murderer.”

  Bones kept a straight face, taking all of this with no reaction. He was the kind of man who shut down insults before they were even uttered. He wasn’t afraid to cause a scene or tell someone off. But he kept his silence—for me.

  “Father, stop,” I said, keeping my voice low because we were in public. “I don’t need a man to take care of me or make me feel safe. That’s not the purpose of having someone. But Griffin makes me feel invincible, like nothing could ever hurt me. I’m not afraid of someone coming through the front door to hurt me because he would never let that happen. Just the way you make Mom feel safe, I feel safe with him. And I don’t feel that way with just anyone.”

  “You don’t feel safe with me?” my father asked. “My whole life, all I’ve done is keep you safe. I’m telling you now, I don’t like the man you’ve chosen, and I don’t trust him. But now, you don’t listen to me.”

  “It’s not the same thing, and you know it,” I said quietly. “And you told me you would try, but it doesn’t seem like you’re putting in any effort at all. The second you look at him, it’s like we’re starting over from the beginning again. We need to move forward, make progress. This man means everything to me. I want this to work…I need it to work.” I didn’t want to get emotional in the restaurant, but my eyes were welling up with tears.

  Bones turned toward me. “Vanessa, it’ll be alright.” He kept his voice quiet, so quiet I wasn’t sure if anyone else could hear it.

  “I’ve already told you that I would leave him if we couldn’t get past this,” I said, ignoring Bones’s attempt to calm me down. “I’ve already shown you how much you mean to me, even if that hurts Griffin. Now you need to meet me halfway. You aren’t even trying. All you do is insult him over and over, and it needs to stop.”

  My father didn’t show a hint of remorse. “I told you I wouldn’t be nice to him.”

  “And that’s fine with me,” Bones said. “Let it go, Vanessa. I told you I’m bulletproof.”

  My father’s gaze shifted back to him, the anger still heavy.

  I ran my fingers through my hair, my insides ripped apart. “Just try. You said you would, and you aren’t.”

  My mother turned to my father. “She’s right, Crow.”

  My father breathed through his flared nostrils, irritated.

  “We need to uphold our end of the deal,” my mother said. “Insulting him and ignoring him don’t qualify.”

  “What do you want me to say?” my father demanded. “You want me to ask about work? Have fun killing people this week? Or you want me to ask about his family? About his rapist father and his whore mother?”

  Bones took a deep breath, the insult piercing him.

  “Father.” I glared at him. “Leave his mom out of it. She had nothing to do with anything that happened to us.”

  “She fucked my enemy,” my father said. “So she’s my enemy.”

  I hated my father like this. I hated his cruelty. I didn’t even recognize him anymore.

  My mom rested her hand on his shoulder. “Crow—”

  My father pushed his chair back as he stood up. He stormed out of the restaurant, obviously having no intention of returning. He weaved through the tables then disappeared out the entryway.

  None of us moved.

  Mom didn’t go after him.

  I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob to myself like there was no one around.

  Bones stood up next.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Have dinner with your mother.” He pushed his chair in and walked behind me. “I’ll talk to your dad.”

  “Just leave him alone,” I said. “You can’t talk to him like this.”

  He leaned down toward me, one hand on the table. “Watch me.” He kissed my temple before he walked away and left the restaurant.

  I turned back to my mom, my eyes still wet. “I hate this…I hate this so fucking much.”

  My mother gave me a look of pity, a sadness in her eyes and her frown. “I know you aren’t used to seeing your father like this. It’s been a while since I’d seen him behave this way. It’s as if he’s returned to thirty years in the past. His life of peace has been disturbed, and he can’t stand it.”

  “Well, it’s the first time in my life I’ve been happy, and I don’t want to lose it.”

  “You’ve been happy before, sweetheart.”

  “Not like this.” I stared at the flickering candle between us. “Mom, I love him. I know he’s the worst possible person I could pick, but it’s how I feel. I’ll never love anyone else the way I love him. I wish you understood that…”

  She watched me, her blue eyes gentle. “I do understand, Vanessa. I can see it written all over your face. I can see it expressed in your artwork. I can see the depth of your feelings and the complicated layers surrounding it. It’s not that I don’t understand. Sometimes, we can’t choose who we love.”

  “Then why can’t you guys just accept him?”

  “Vanessa, while you may love him with all your heart, it’s difficult to expect us to forget everything we’ve been through. It was before your time, so it’s hard for you to comprehend, but his father did many terrible things to us…”

  My heart broke when I imagined what that man had done to my mother. “But he’s not him. You’re punishing him for something he didn’t do.”

  “Up until he met you, he didn’t seem to be that different.”

  “But he is different. He would never hurt me or any of you.”

  “You’re right,” she said. “He probably wouldn’t. But you’re asking us to welcome a man into our family that we despise. Remember, who you marry is who we marry. He will be a son to your father. He is the last man your father wants to have as a son, the son of his greatest enemy.”

  “Let’s not skip to marriage just yet,” I said. “I just want you to accept the fact that I’m dating him.”

  “Are you telling me you don’t want to marry him?” She raised an eyebrow. “Because if this isn’t serious, then it’s not worth our heartache.”

  “Yes, I do want to marry him.” I didn’t want to say the words out loud because it would make losing him more painful. “I want a family and a life together. There’s probably someone out there better suited for me, bu
t I don’t want that person. I want him.”

  She sighed quietly under her breath.

  “I’m begging you.”

  She looked away, as if she couldn’t handle my emotion.

  “He said he would let me go if you didn’t approve of him. If that’s not a declaration of true love, then what is?”

  “I’m not denying that he loves you. He wouldn’t put up with your father if he didn’t. He obviously doesn’t scare easily, and I respect him for that. He’s fighting for you, taking insults when he would normally kill the man who issued them. But you’re asking us to love him too…and I’m not sure if we can.”

  “You said you would try,” I whispered. “You aren’t trying.”

  “I know.” She closed her eyes for a brief moment. “You’re right. It’s hard to try when the only thing connecting us is something we don’t speak of. The name Bones hasn’t been said in our home for thirty years. Your father forbade anyone from saying that name. And now the door to our past has reopened, and it seems like we’ll never escape it.”

  “Maybe you aren’t supposed to escape it. Maybe this is the closure everyone needs. What better way to end the blood war for good than to welcome him into our family?”

  My mother didn’t give a response, her lips pressed together tightly.

  “You told me Father wasn’t perfect. He was cold and cruel. You said he wasn’t easy to love and he refused to love you. It sounds like he wasn’t much better than Bones. He did criminal things for a living. He’s killed people too. Maybe I don’t understand the full story, but it sounds to me like our stories are extremely similar. But you loved Father, and I see how much he loves you every day. How is it any different?”

  She didn’t answer, staring at me with a guarded gaze.

  “How is it any different?” I repeated.

  “It just is, Vanessa.”

  Silence settled between us, the quiet full of discomfort. She tucked her hair behind her ear, her button wedding ring catching the light. “We will try to overcome this, Vanessa. We’ll try harder. Don’t expect this to happen overnight. It’ll take time.”

  “That’s fine,” I said. “But anytime you’re in the same room together, all Father does is yell at him.”