Divine in Lingerie: Lingerie #9 Page 4

  I didn’t want to ask him to leave again, so I stared at the painting on the wall and waited. I had all the patience in the world since I had nothing to live for at the moment. I could wait all day.

  Finally, his footsteps tapped against the hardwood floor as he headed to the door. They grew fainter as time passed, and then they disappeared altogether once the door shut behind him.

  The gallery turned quiet now that he was gone.

  I stared at the painting of Bones in my bed, his chest bare and his face cut out of the frame. My eyes started to well with tears for the hundredth time, but these tears were for a whole new reason. I felt so distant from my father, the man I’d trusted my whole life. He was the kind of man that inspired me, that made me a stronger person. I’d always imagined my husband would be like him, and ironically, I thought he and Bones were a lot alike. But now, he was the reason I was so devastated. He used to protect me from everything, but now he was the very reason I could barely stand on my own two feet.

  He was the reason I could barely breathe.

  Three

  Crow

  I drove out of Florence and into the countryside, one hand on the wheel as I pushed the car to the maximum speed. My brother called me twice, but I rejected his call each time. My eyes looked across the golden fields in front of me, but I didn’t care about the beautiful scenery I looked at every day.

  All I cared about was my daughter.

  My tesoro.

  My little girl.

  I wasn’t ignorant to the fact that she was a grown woman. Not only that, but she was exceptionally bright, sassy like her mother, and possessed a hunger for life and adventure. I trusted her instincts because I’d raised her right.

  But I couldn’t accept the man she loved.

  Stubbornness was in my blood, but that wasn’t the only reason I didn’t accept Griffin.

  I hated him.

  I hated him so much I almost pulled the trigger. I fantasized about his blood staining the furniture in my office. I pictured the way his eyes would become lifeless once his heart stopped beating. I would give anything to go back in time and kill him before he ever met my daughter.

  She deserved better.

  She deserved the best.

  It killed me to watch her push me away, the man she used to come to for help. But now, she’d turned her back on me, could barely look me in the eye because she was so angry. It broke my heart, to watch my daughter suffer and hate me at the same time.

  But I still wouldn’t change my mind.

  I loved being a father to my two wonderful kids. But this was one of the rare times when it was almost too difficult to bear. She might not understand right now, but I really was doing the best thing for her. She would find the right man to marry, and she would be grateful it wasn’t that piece of trash.

  When I returned to the house, I didn’t tell Button I was home and headed straight to my study on the third floor. It was one of those rare times when I didn’t want my wife to console me. I preferred a large glass of aged scotch.

  I sat behind my desk, the amber liquid the only company I wanted at that moment. I was an ugly man, bitter and angry. There was so much hatred inside me I didn’t know what to do with it. I contemplated hunting Bones down and killing him anyway. I told him to leave my daughter alone and he listened to me, but I wanted to bury him in the ground anyway.

  I hated how much pain my daughter was in.

  I hated how thin she looked. I hated the blank expression in her eyes. I hated the way life’s vigor had been sucked from her body and now she was empty like everyone else in the world.

  I’d been watching her for weeks. I watched her make a home in the apartment above the gallery. With pride in my chest, I watched my daughter figure out the wiring in the ceiling to install two chandeliers. I watched her remodel the place entirely on her own, looking up tutorial videos and buying the tools she needed to get the job done. She never asked anyone for help, not even me. Even when she lost the man she loved, she remained independent and strong, knowing she was capable of starting over on her own.

  One day, my body would fail me, and I would be buried in the Italian soil beside my parents and sister in the cemetery. Button would be alright because she would have all my wealth to take care of her. She would also have my brother and our son to look after her. But once she was gone, my kids would be on their own.

  I needed to know they would be okay.

  Vanessa was smart and independent and resourceful. She never gave up, even if the odds were stacked against her. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, to be a strong woman who didn’t care if she seemed bossy. She was capable of taking care of herself. But that wasn’t enough for me.

  I wanted to know there was a man taking care of her.

  I wanted to know he would protect her with his life, provide for her so she could paint for the rest of her life, and he was powerful enough to intimidate anyone from crossing her. I wanted this man to love her as much as I did, to love her the way I loved my wife.

  That wasn’t Bones.

  That man forced my daughter to please him in exchange for not killing her family.

  When my hand started to shake with rage, I picked up the glass and threw it across the room. It shattered against the stone fireplace, flying into shards that sprinkled the rug and hardwood floor.

  I should kill him.

  I should hunt him down with Cane and slice his throat.

  I shouldn’t have let him walk out of my office without any broken bones.

  Footsteps sounded a moment later, and Button stepped inside. In a long blue dress with her hair in a braid over one shoulder, she looked more beautiful than royalty. With fatigue in her eyes from working at the winery all day and not a drop of makeup, she was still a gorgeous woman. Time had changed her appearance, but it couldn’t touch her beauty.

  She was just as stunning to me as the day I married her.

  She shut the door behind her then regarded me with concerned eyes. With fair skin and blue eyes, she was a dream. Her arms crossed over her chest, and she slowly approached the desk.

  I’d thrown the glass out of anger, but part of me wondered if I did it to get her attention. I’d come to rely on her to sheathe my rage, to make me see reason when my stubbornness wouldn’t allow it.

  I didn’t look at her, keeping my eyes focused on the cold fireplace.

  She rested her fingertips on the top of the open scotch bottle. She stood there quietly, staring at my side profile. My chest rose and fell with my deep breathing, with my fury, and she watched me struggle with my demons.

  She picked up the bottle and took a drink, despite the fact that she hated scotch. She wasn’t a fan of my drinking habits, but she knew nothing she said would change my love for booze. She accepted me exactly as I was—all the good and the bad. She set the bottle down again and stared at me, waiting for me to meet her look.

  I refused to do it.

  “Didn’t go well?”

  My silence was a sufficient answer.

  “Give her more time.”

  “It’s been three weeks.”

  “It’s going to take her at least three months.”

  I sighed under my breath, the sound coming out as a growl. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. That man isn’t worth three months of her time.”

  “It’ll take her three months before she starts to feel better. For her to really move past this…? At least a year.”

  I growled again. “I should have killed him. When Conway saw him at the Underground, I should have killed him. He never would have met Vanessa, and this nightmare wouldn’t be happening. I didn’t protect my family like I promised I would.”

  Her hand moved to my shoulder, and she dug her fingers into my tight muscles. “Vanessa didn’t want to be protected. She loves this man.”

  “No, she doesn’t. She was brainwashed and manipulated.”

  She massaged her fingers into my shoulder a little longer before she pulled her han
d away. “Crow.”

  I recognized the tone, had listened to it through the decades of our marriage. “What?”

  “Look at me.”

  I kept staring at the fireplace, the cold stones more welcoming than my wife’s gaze. I finally turned my head and looked at her, staring into the ocean of disappointment.

  “The hypocrisy is baffling.” Button never judged me for the man I had been. She never held the past against me. She’d always accepted me for all my darker aspects. It was one of the reasons why I loved her—because she really loved all of me.

  “It’s not the same. You know it’s not.”

  “It’s exactly the same.” She propped one hand on her hip. “Crow, you gave me two options. I would either be your prisoner until the day I died, or I could sleep with you in exchange for my freedom.”

  “But I didn’t threaten to kill you or your family.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You still took my freedom, Crow.”

  “It’s not like you had any other place to go.”

  Her eyes narrowed immediately, showing their outrage and pain at the same time.

  I immediately regretted what I’d said. “That came out wrong.”

  “Yes,” she said coldly. “It did.”

  “Vanessa has a family that loves her. She has a father who would die for her. I’m not letting her settle for anything less than the best. I’m not giving her away to a monster that doesn’t deserve her.”

  “And you think you don’t deserve me?” she challenged.

  I’d been married to her for thirty years, had committed my life to loving her and protecting her, but none of that could make up for what I did. “No. I’ll never deserve you, Button.”

  She cocked her head to the side slightly, her eyes softening.

  “You deserved a man much better than me.” I looked at the fireplace again, remembering the night she gave herself to me. I told her she could be free if she earned her freedom. And in the end, she never did. She was mine the second she came into my possession.

  “Even if that’s true, I’ve never wanted anyone else, Crow.”

  I still couldn’t look at her. “Vanessa never would have loved him if he didn’t force her.”

  “And I may never have loved you either. But I still wouldn’t change anything.”

  It didn’t matter how similar the situations were. I would never view the circumstances differently. “Our daughter deserves a better love story. She deserves respect. I want a man who falls to his knees for her. I want a man who will bend over backward for her.”

  “Maybe that’s not what she’s looking for.”

  “Too bad. It’s what she deserves.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t need to tell you this, Crow. But our daughter has been a grown woman for a long time—”

  “I don’t want to talk about this.” I knew exactly what she was going to say. I never thought about my daughter’s personal life. It was a subject I never touched, letting Button handle it exclusively. I was so protective of Vanessa that it was a subject I couldn’t discuss with an open mind. If I could have gotten away with it, I would have forced her into an arranged marriage with a man of my choice, and that would be the end of the discussion.

  She sighed under her breath. “Our daughter is very resourceful. If she really didn’t want to be in that situation, she would have gotten out of it. When you and I—”

  “I said, I don’t want to talk about this. Don’t make me repeat myself.” I grabbed the bottle and took a long drink, letting the booze burn my throat all the way down to my stomach. “You don’t agree with my decision?”

  Button was quiet for a long time, pondering my question in silence. When she finally answered, her voice was gentle. “Does it matter? My opinion won’t change yours.”

  “No, it won’t. But I want to know anyway.”

  “I don’t like the pretense of their relationship. I don’t even like him…because of his father. But I really believe they love each other.”

  I believed it too. I saw the way he looked at her, saw the way she looked at him. “She’ll love someone else. In time, she will.”

  “I know. But I don’t think she’ll ever love anyone the way she loved him. If I had to move on from you…I certainly wouldn’t have forgotten about you.”

  Her life would have been better off if she had. Most of our relationship had been spent in peace and quiet, but it hadn’t always been that way. There were times when we thought we wouldn’t survive. “This is the best decision for all of us. He doesn’t deserve her, and the Barsettis will never look past the crimes that have damaged this family. I will never welcome a man who forced my daughter into submission. I don’t care if he loves her. I don’t care if he’s rich or powerful. I only want a man who will love and respect my daughter—and he’s not that man.”

  Four

  Conway

  I felt the Italian material in my hands, a fabric that was so soft against my fingertips it felt like silk. But it had the ideal elasticity to stretch in all the necessary ways. It would be perfect for my next piece, a maternity ensemble that would look great on Muse. Her pregnancy had aroused me in ways I couldn’t explain, and now the lingerie I made for work was used for personal reasons.

  After measuring the material, I cut it in the precise place.

  A knock sounded on the door before Muse walked inside. She wore a green dress that was loose around her stomach. Her pregnancy had swollen her belly, making her stomach distended and round. She’d gained some weight everywhere, but her stomach was the most affected. “Are you busy right now?”

  I put down the scissors and measuring tape, ignoring her question because it was stupid. I was never too busy for her. Never had been and never would be. I rose from the stool and moved my hand to her belly, feeling the curve underneath my hand. I could feel our baby inside her, feel it kick in the middle of the night when she was asleep. My eyes lifted to her face, and I saw the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, the woman who would become my wife. “Everything alright?” I kept my hand on her stomach, waiting for a kick.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said. “But I just put on my wedding dress, and it doesn’t fit…” Her eyes fell in sadness, like that was something to be embarrassed about. “The baby is making me bigger at a much quicker pace now.”

  “Good. It’s getting big and healthy.” I lifted up her dress so I could press my palm against her bare skin. Her belly was firm and warm, the curvature of her stomach sexy. I’d never had a thing for pregnant women, but when it came to mine, she made me hard instantly.

  Her eyes held her sadness. “Yes, I’m happy about that. But...” She tilted her head down. “Never mind.”

  My fingers moved under her chin, and I lifted her head. “Tell me.”

  Her eyes were still hesitant, subtly fighting me. “I’m getting so big that I’ll never look good in a wedding dress.”

  “You look good naked, so don’t worry about it.”

  She hit my arm playfully. “I’m being serious. I don’t want to be insensitive to Vanessa, but I just hit my seventh month. If I wait any longer, I won’t be able to wear heels. And I want to be married before the baby comes…”

  My mother told me what had happened with my father and Bones. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved. I respected my father for making the right decision even though it made Vanessa angry. My sister deserved a good man, not an enemy to the Barsetti line. “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to get married…”

  My hands went to her lower back, feeling the sharp curve in her spine from the weight of her stomach. “Then we’ll get married.” My eyes looked into her blue ones, seeing the emotions running deep.

  “What about Vanessa?”

  “Don’t worry about her. She’ll be happy for us.”

  “I don’t know…she just lost the man she loves. She doesn’t want to watch anyone get married.”

  “We’re family. It’ll make he
r happy.”

  “I feel selfish for even thinking about it…”

  I lowered my face so I could rest my forehead against hers. I spent every waking moment with this woman, and the time we spent preparing for the baby made me love her in a new way. I felt like we were a family even though we weren’t married yet, even though we didn’t have a child yet. It was hard to believe I was ever a jerk to her in the past. “You aren’t being selfish, Muse. The world doesn’t stop because of Vanessa.”

  “I want to go to Florence and see her. Make sure she’s okay with it.”

  I loved my sister, but I didn’t need her approval for anything. “That’s unnecessary.”

  “I want to check on her anyway. Then maybe we could do the ceremony at your parents’ place. I’ll just have to get my dress let out…”

  “You know I can do that for you.”

  “You aren’t supposed to see the dress, remember?”

  “Then Lars can do it.”

  “No, he’s too old for that.”

  “Trust me, he enjoys it,” I said. “Doing stuff for the family keeps him happy. So, you want to do this?”

  She nodded. “I want to be Mrs. Barsetti.”

  Hearing her call herself that only made me want her more. I couldn’t wait to hear people call her that, to refer to her as my wife. She wore my last name just as well as she wore my lingerie. “I do too.”

  According to my father, Vanessa had her own gallery in Florence. It was in the center of town, right next door to a bakery. Her apartment was above the gallery, a two-bedroom space my father approved of. A cobblestone road was in front of it, the sidewalk packed with motorbikes. People were walking down the sidewalks, their coffees and shopping bags in hand. Florence was different from Milan because it was much smaller, packed with antique shops and small restaurants.

  Muse seemed to love it as much as Milan. “I like it here.”

  “It’s the capital of Tuscany.” I parked on the side of the road, squeezing in between two small cars. My father told me this was where Vanessa had been spending her time. She was still just as devastated as she was a month ago, never leaving her gallery or the apartment upstairs. She kept to herself, dealing with her misery in solitude. I didn’t just come here because Muse wanted to check in on my sister.