Fantasy in Lingerie Page 4

  I’d never let him insult my family without a retaliation. My family was everything to me. Without them, I was nothing. “Conway is not arrogant. He’s kind, compassionate, and an extremely successful man. He built his company on his own, not using a dime from my parents. I wish I could say the same. I’m proud to call him my brother.”

  His blue eyes shifted back and forth as they looked into mine, studying me. “All he cares about is money—like the rest of us. Don’t put him on a pedestal. You’ll just watch him fall. He’s not everything you think he is.” His hands pressed against the wall, cornering me against the closet.

  “He’s my brother. It doesn’t matter who he is or what he’s done. I love him anyway—because that’s what family means. Regardless of what you think he’s done, it won’t change the way I feel about him. I admire him for his good qualities, and I’ll love him no matter what mistakes he’s made. That’s something you’ll never understand…”

  That was obviously a poor choice of words, because his angry expression deepened. “Because I don’t have a family?”

  “No…that’s not what I meant. I meant—”

  “Don’t backpedal. Own up to your crimes—like a real woman.” He dropped his arms and stepped back. He turned his back on me, his shoulders shifting as he headed into the bathroom to shower.

  “It’s really not what I meant.”

  He grabbed a towel off the dresser. “Then what did you mean? That I’m too heartless and cold to understand what unconditional love is?” He turned around, the white towel gripped in his hand. “If I didn’t understand what unconditional love was, then I wouldn’t be risking my life to avenge my mother. I wouldn’t still love her despite what she did to put food on the table. You think you’re so much better than me because you had a perfect life. Well, I’ve got news for you. You’re a spoiled little brat who has no idea what it really means to suffer.” He turned his back on me and walked toward the shower, slamming the bathroom door behind him.

  I remained in front of the closet and listened to the water start to run. Our relationship was so volatile and unpredictable. One moment, we were pledging our fidelity to one another, and then the next, we were telling each other off. I’d never had a relationship with a man that was so emotional, that changed so drastically from minute to minute because we were both so passionate. We’d had another fight that ripped us apart, but when I came back later that evening, we would have the same unbelievable sex we always did. Maybe the fight made the sex better. Maybe the threat of violence made it deeper. I wasn’t sure.

  I wasn’t sure of anything at this point.

  I hugged Sapphire first when I reached the table, noting the way her stomach stuck out just slightly. Her belly probably wouldn’t be noticeable if she weren’t so slender. But since her waistline was so narrow, the outline of her belly was visible through her shirt. “You’re showing already.”

  “I know.” She hugged me back before she placed her hand over her belly. “I can’t feel anything other than my belly stretching my jeans, but it’s still pretty incredible.”

  I placed my hand on her belly too, feeling nothing like she said. “It’s still amazing. There’s a little Barsetti in there.”

  “I know.” A glow accompanied her smile. “I’ve always wanted a family, and now I’m having one.”

  Conway cleared his throat as he appeared at my side. “Are you going to say hi to me?”

  “Can I finish my conversation with Sapphire first?” I countered.

  He gave me the same look he’d been giving me my entire life, that look of pure loathing. “You say hello to everyone before you engage in a conversation. I know you’re trashy, but have you forgotten all your manners?”

  “You think I won’t knee you in the groin right here in the restaurant?” I threatened.

  “You think I won’t slap—”

  “Enough,” Sapphire said. “Say hello and hug it out.”

  Conway immediately obeyed, whipped so hard that he wasn’t the same man I once knew. He sighed then extended his arms. “Hey, Vanessa. It’s nice to see you.” He pulled me into his chest and hugged me.

  I hugged him back. “You too.”

  He could insult me as much as he wanted, but when his arms were around me, he hugged me for a long time, telling he missed me—telling me he loved me.

  He pulled away then returned to his seat.

  “That’s better,” Sapphire said. “You two are like fire and gasoline sometimes…”

  “We’re Barsettis,” I said. “Get used to it.”

  “I’ll try,” she said with a chuckle. “So what’s new with you? Your father said you’re dropping out of school to paint full time?”

  “Yeah.” I told them about my decision and why I’d chosen that route. It was easy to talk to them about art, so I dragged it out as long as possible. I didn’t want them to ask me about my personal life. Sapphire and I talked about those things all the time, but I didn’t want to mention men around Conway.

  Conway always got so weird about it. If he could put me in an arranged marriage, he would. But if Conway knew about the situation I was in right now, he’d have every right to be livid about it.

  “So when’s the wedding?” I asked, keeping the conversation focused and away from me.

  “Spring,” Sapphire said. “The second the snow is gone and the sun is out, we’ll do it. I just hope I’m not too big.”

  “Whatever size you are, you’ll look perfect.” Conway had his hand on her thigh, and he stared at her just the way my father stared at my mother. Maybe it was because their features were so startlingly similar, but sometimes I felt like I was talking to my father when I was with Conway.

  Sapphire didn’t smile, but her cheeks filled with a dash of color.

  “I’m excited,” I said. “It’ll be beautiful. What’s new with work? Are you not modeling at all anymore?”

  “No, not really,” Sapphire said. “But Conway has decided to launch a new line of lingerie.”

  “He’s always launching something new.”

  “But this is a different kind of lingerie,” Conway said. “I’ve basically designed maternity lingerie.”

  I almost made a disgusted face because I knew exactly what inspired it.

  “All men are different, but I think Sapphire is absolutely stunning with that baby bump. And if I feel that way, then other men must too. So I’m launching a sexy line of lingerie for expecting mothers.”

  “Cool…” I downed my wine to dilute the awkwardness in my stomach. I didn’t care that my brother designed lingerie, but I didn’t want to hear about his inspiration. It was so gross.

  Conway excused himself to the bathroom, leaving us alone.

  “I’m sorry if that’s weird for you,” Sapphire said.

  “No, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’m glad you guys are happy. My brother’s occupation has never bothered me, and don’t ever tell him I said this, but I’m really proud of him. He’s the best of the best because he’s a very successful and intelligent man. But if you ever tell him I said that, I’ll deny it until my deathbed.”

  She chuckled. “Alright.”

  “I’m happy you guys are in love. I like seeing my brother happy…even if it’s a little disgusting.”

  “You’re so mature,” she teased. “So…anything going on in your love life?”

  “Nope. Nada. Nothing.” I fired off my answers so quickly that even I could tell I was lying.

  Sapphire cocked an eyebrow. “No dates or anything?”

  “Uh, not really. I’ve just been busy…”

  “Busy doing what? You haven’t been in school.”

  This was taking a bad turn. I knew she was suspicious because I used to go out all the time. I met guys often, dated regularly, and I usually had at least one guy on my line. For me to stay there was nothing going on was unlikely. “Okay, I’m seeing someone. But I’m not ready to talk about it.”

  Sapphire immediately moved closer, her eyes light
ing up in excitement. “Who is he?”

  “I just said I’m not ready to talk about it.”

  “Why?” she asked. “Is it serious?”

  “No,” I said with a laugh. “Not serious at all. It’s the opposite…”

  “So it’s just a fling?”

  “I guess…but it’s been going on for a while.”

  “How long?”

  “Like…two months?”

  Sapphire’s mouth fell open in shock. “Vanessa, that’s not a fling.”

  “Well, it is,” I said quickly. “I wouldn’t call it a relationship. It’s definitely not a relationship. But we just have this passion…this heat. Hands down, he’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”

  “Wow…”

  “And a part of me hates him because I despise his personality and everything about him…but I always wind up in his bed over and over.”

  “That’s where you were, huh?” she asked. “That’s why you weren’t home?”

  “Yes…”

  She grinned. “Maybe it’ll turn into something more serious.”

  “No,” I said immediately. “It can’t. It never will.”

  “Why are you so certain?”

  If only I could tell her. “We aren’t really compatible in other ways…the only thing that’s keeping us together is the sex.”

  “Sex is important.”

  “But it’s not everything…” A part of me did like his other qualities, like his loyalty and his protectiveness. He loved his mother despite her immoral career choice, and that made me respect him. He listened to me when I asked him to. He was always honest with me, and people were rarely honest. But he wanted nothing more than to wipe out my family line.

  “But it could turn into everything. With Conway…” She shut her mouth and suppressed her grin. “Never mind. Too weird.”

  “Yeah…too weird.”

  “I’m just saying…if you have the passion, maybe you have everything else too.”

  No. I was stuck in a serious kidnapping situation, and I was fucking this man to keep him away from my family. That was the basis of our relationship, and it would end as badly as it started. I spotted Conway coming back to the table from across the room. “We’ll see.”

  “I want an update, Vanessa.”

  “Alright. But keep this to yourself.”

  “Of course.”

  Conway insisted on taking me home even though I told him I would take a cab. It was past seven in the evening, so there was no way I could ask him to drop me off at Bones’s place. How would I explain that?

  After five minutes of arguing, I finally got into the car, and he took me back to my apartment. He held Sapphire’s hand on the middle console, his fingers pressed in between hers. He drove with one hand on the wheel, taking peeks at his fiancée from time to time.

  Looking at them made me jealous. Jealous that I wouldn’t live long enough to find something like that. I was in the most passionate relationship I’d ever had, but it had no foundation of friendship or love.

  It was just violence and sex.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket with a text message. I pulled it out to see a message from Bones. Where are you going?

  You’re such a stalker.

  Where are you going?

  He would just keep asking the question until he got the answer he was looking for. My place.

  Your ass belongs over here.

  Conway wouldn’t let me take a cab. And I couldn’t have him drop me off at your place.

  Why not?

  I rolled my eyes. Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.

  He didn’t write back.

  Conway dropped me off five minutes later, and he locked the car at the street with Sapphire inside before he walked me to the door.

  “You don’t need to walk me to the door. We aren’t high school kids on a date.”

  “You’re my little sister. I’m gonna walk you to the door even if you’re eighty, alright?” He leaned against the door and watched me unlock it.

  But it wasn’t locked.

  I tried to play it cool and pretend everything was normal. “Thanks for dinner. I’ll see you later.”

  “Night.” He brought me into his chest and hugged me.

  My brother and I never hugged, unless it was a holiday or something. “You’ve been hugging me a lot lately…”

  “I almost lost you. Made me realize I shouldn’t be such an ass to you.”

  “You were an ass to me earlier.”

  “You know what I mean.” He pulled away, giving me a thoughtful expression the same way my father did. “I just worry about you. After what happened, I’m scared leaving you here by yourself. Now that you aren’t going to school, maybe you should live with us. You can’t beat the view.”

  I knew Conway didn’t want me there, so his fear for my safety outweighed his need for privacy. “That’s sweet…but I’m fine here.”

  “Are you sure?”

  If only he knew what was really going on. It would break his heart, which was why I never wanted to tell him. “I’m sure, Con. Really, don’t worry about me. I’m a tough girl.”

  “Woman,” he corrected. “You’re a tough woman. Sometimes I forget how strong you are, and then I see you in action and realize how incredible you are. That makes me feel better, but then I start to worry again. I can’t wait until you get married. I never thought I’d say that, but it would make my life easier.”

  “You growl anytime a man goes near me.”

  “I know…” He rolled his eyes. “I just want the right guy to go near you. I want you to marry a guy who can take care of you.”

  “I don’t need a man to take care of me. I can take care of myself.”

  “You know what I mean, Vanessa. It would give me peace of mind knowing you lived with a huge guy who could scare off anyone that looked at you twice…just the way I do with Sapphire.”

  Little did he know I already had that, but my protector was also my murderer.

  “I hope you find that soon…so Father and I can relax.”

  “You’d find something else to get worked up over.” I tried to keep the conversation light because his words were killing me. My brother loved me so much and worried about me. He would do anything for me, and right now, I was trapped. I was trapped, and he couldn’t help me even if he wanted to. I was protecting him, making sure Bones never laid a hand on him or Sapphire. But Conway had no knowledge of the sacrifice I was making.

  And I wanted it to stay that way.

  He smiled before he placed his hand on my shoulder. “Call me if you need anything, alright?”

  “Alright.”

  “I mean it. And if you change your mind about living with us, let me know.”

  “I won’t change my mind, but thanks anyway.”

  He finally walked away and took the stairs back to the car at the curb.

  I stepped inside my apartment, letting my face fall back into its look of sorrow. I was back to my prison, back to my cage.

  In the shadows, I saw Bones sitting on the couch. Fully dressed with his blue eyes focused on me, he stared at me from his spot in the darkness.

  “How the hell did you get here so fast?”

  The only response I got was a cold look from his icy eyes.

  “Forget it…I don’t care anyway.” I walked past him and headed to my bedroom, the ache in my chest too much to carry. It was the second time my brother was right next to Bones without even realizing it.

  I didn’t like them being so close together.

  I tore off my clothes and immediately got into bed, even though it was only eight in the evening. It was way too early to go to sleep, but I had no motivation to watch TV or do anything else. I just wanted to lie there, to let myself be swallowed by my own self-pity.

  His footsteps sounded in the doorway, and then his clothes started to hit the floor.

  I wanted him to leave, but I also wanted him to stay. He was the source of my misery, but he also had the power to make
me feel better. When his strong arms were wrapped around me, I felt like nothing could hurt me. He lit a fire in my veins, made me yearn for him in a way I never yearned for anyone else. His hard chest and strong-beating heart consoled all my terrors. When our bodies were connected and my fingers were digging into his back, all the bad thoughts stopped. There were no thoughts at all. It was just the two of us.

  His heavy body shifted the mattress as he maneuvered beside me. He pressed his chest against my back and wrapped his arm around my waist. His head moved to the back of my neck and he breathed gently, his warm breaths drifting across my skin.

  My arm rested over his, feeling the powerful heat his body projected.

  He pressed a kiss to the back of my neck, his lips soft against my cold skin.

  Like our earlier fight never happened, we lay there in comfortable silence. Like my brother and I didn’t just have a moment right outside the front door, we lay there like lovers. I knew Bones had overheard the entire conversation if he was sitting on the couch the whole time, but he didn’t say anything about it.

  “Baby.” His masculine voice filled the darkness of my bedroom.

  I turned my head toward him, my eyes moving to the ceiling without turning around. “Hmm?”

  “Tell me what you want.”

  I faced forward again. “Nothing. I just want to stay like this.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  He’d never given me the option before. “Does it matter? Would you go if I asked?”

  He kissed my shoulder. “Yes.”

  This was my chance to get rid of him, but I didn’t take it. I didn’t want to lie in that bed by myself. I was used to his big body beside me. I slept with him every single night, so when he wasn’t there, my night was always terrible. “I want you to stay…”

  He kissed my shoulder again, giving me his tongue. He moved up my neck until he reached the shell of my ear. “Then I’ll stay.”

  I sat at the easel and continued working on the painting. I’d taken a photo when I walked home from the store. It was an image of an alleyway, a narrow place that had a few bicycles leaned up against the walls. It was an iconic image of Italian culture, so I snapped it on my phone and then got to work.