Buttons and Blame Page 4

  “Fuck…” He stopped when he was deep inside me, pausing as he closed his eyes.

  “I’m gonna come too.”

  He breathed another sigh. “How could I forget how good you felt?” He started to move again, this time quicker than before. He rolled his hips at the end of every thrust, grinding against my clit as he tried to drive me into a climax.

  “Right there…”

  He thrust harder, his chest heaving with the breaths he took.

  “Yes…” My hands gripped his hips, and I pulled him into me more. “God…” I came around him, my body clenching and tightening around his length. My eyes closed, and I struggled to breathe because my body only wanted to scream.

  “Jesus Christ…” Cane pounded into me harder, making my climax more intense as he reached his own threshold. His cock thickened inside me as he released, giving me a heavy load of come. His thrusts slowed down as he finished, riding his high just as mine ended.

  It was the shortest time it ever had taken me to climax. It’d only been three days since we were last together, but apparently, my body was used to having him on a regular basis. Once he was gone, my body didn’t know how to handle it.

  He stayed deep inside me, obviously having no intention of leaving anytime soon. “How do you expect me to last when you do that?”

  “Do what?” I had no control over my body when we were together. When he kissed me, touched me, fucked me, I turned into a whirlwind of hormones. All I could do was feel, certainly not think.

  He kissed me as he shoved his softening cock farther inside me. “What you’re doing now.” He rubbed his nose against mine as he stayed buried inside me. “Being beautiful.”

  4

  Crow

  I wasn’t quite as angry with my wife.

  But still pissed enough.

  I wanted an apology for what she’d done, an acknowledgment that she was wrong and she would change her ways. Until I got that, she would continue to be a victim of my silence. When she asked if she could pick up Adelina and spend time with her, it was a step in the right direction. Button would never ask me something like that normally, and I appreciated that she was trying.

  But it wasn’t quite good enough.

  I continued to use one of the guest bedrooms as my personal space, rarely having interactions with her when I was at home. I spent more time at work because there was nothing waiting for me at home.

  I knew my indifference was hurting her, but I wasn’t ready.

  Not after what she did to me. I would much rather bear the pain of catching her with another man than find out she’d put herself at risk with Tristan. It would break my heart to the same degree, but at least her life would never be in jeopardy.

  Every time I thought about what she did, I was pissed all over again.

  She could have died.

  Or worse. And I didn’t want to think about was worse meant.

  I finished the day at the winery then walked into the warehouse where the wine tastings were. Button was done for the day and hung up the last wineglass in the case. The counters and tables were wiped down, and the place was ready to go for the following afternoon. I stood there with my hands in my pockets and watched her until she noticed me.

  It didn’t take long for her to figure out I was there. Like a sixth sense, she could feel me before she actually saw me. She picked up on my presence, my heavy mood. She turned around and looked at me, her eyes slightly affectionate. She tossed the rag into the hamper then pulled her hair over one shoulder. “Hey.”

  I wasn’t in the mood for conversation, so I didn’t say anything.

  She didn’t seem surprised by my silence. She joined me at the entrance to the warehouse and moved into my chest, about to stand on her tiptoes she could kiss me on the lips.

  I stepped away before she could succeed.

  Button released a quiet sigh of annoyance and walked back to the car with me.

  Once we were on the road and headed back home, she spoke her mind. “So you’re never going to kiss your wife again?”

  “Who said anything about never?”

  “It feels like it’s been an eternity.”

  “When you’ve been betrayed, days feel like weeks.” I drove with one hand on the wheel while my other hand rested on the gearshift. My eyes were glued in front of me, driving through the hills and vineyards on our way back to my estate.

  She sighed loud enough for me to hear then looked out the window.

  I ignored her hostility. She thought she was mad, but she didn’t even know the definition.

  I fucking coined it.

  “You won’t believe what Adelina told me.”

  I kept my eyes on the road.

  “Cane took her to South Carolina so she could see her parents.”

  Cane told me he left the country for business, but he never told me specifically what he was doing. He purposely kept it from me because he knew I would disapprove. Security was tight in America. It was surprising that he got Adelina in and out without any problems.

  “I can’t believe he did that for her.”

  Cane had a soul buried deep inside that empty chest of his. He didn’t have a heart, but at least he had spirit.

  “Adelina talks about him like he’s a savior…that he’s made her life enjoyable. Maybe he has. But it still kills me that she has to go back. I know I need to let it go, but it’s hard.”

  “Then stop thinking about it.”

  She turned her head toward me, her eyes narrowed in anger. “I’m not heartless like you, Crow.”

  “We both know I’m not heartless.” When I’d figured out where she was, my heart stopped. I’d actually lost my breath, and not in a good way. Someone pulled the earth from under my feet and made me topple to the floor. Everything in my body shut down because my heart took over. All I felt was pain, terror, and absolute fear. I’d almost died before, and that was exactly how it felt in that moment.

  After a long stretch of silence, she threw her arms down. “Enough of this. You need to let it go.”

  “Never.”

  “Never?” she asked incredulously. “So you’re just going to be mad forever?”

  I turned right and drove down the final street before the estate.

  “Damn, you’re even more stubborn than I realized.”

  I pulled into the roundabout in front of my house and handed the keys over to the valet. Pearl and I got out and walked into the house.

  Lars greeted us. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Barsetti. Dinner will be ready shortly.”

  “Thank you, Lars.” I stripped my jacket off and laid it over his outstretched arm.

  “We’ll both be having dinner on the terrace this evening.” Button gave me a meaningful look, as if she dared me to defy her.

  She obviously didn’t know me very well if she thought I wouldn’t.

  Unsure what to do, Lars turned to me for direction. “Your Grace?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. She didn’t realize that when she was angry, she actually looked cute. But that cuteness didn’t have any effect on me now.

  Lars continued to wait.

  “I’m having dinner with you wherever you go, Crow,” Button said as she walked to the staircase. “I’m tired of waiting.” She took the steps to the next floor, heading to our bedroom to shower after the long day in the heat.

  The only response I gave to Lars was a nod.

  She was already sitting at the table when I walked outside. I was in jeans and a t-shirt, and so was she. Her thick, dark hair was curled and fluffed around her shoulders. Her makeup was heavy, her eyes smoky. She purposely did herself the way I liked, trying to seduce me with those red lips and thick eyelashes.

  It wouldn’t work.

  The second I sat down, Lars brought our dinner and filled our glasses with wine. The candles on the table were lit, and dusk settled over the fields.

  Button drank her wine as she looked at me.

  I cut into my food, ha
rdly looking at her.

  “This is ridiculous.” She set her glass down. “You must know that.”

  “I agree. We shouldn’t be in this situation at all.”

  Her eyes lit up with anger. “I already explained why I did it.”

  “I never asked for a justification.”

  “Then what are you looking for?”

  My eyes zeroed in on her face, and I didn’t even blink. “You know exactly what I’m looking for, Button.” This was a recurring problem with my wife. I respected her fire, her drive, and determination. I loved the fact that she never gave up, no matter what odds she was up against. But her recklessness was infuriating. My patience had officially expired.

  Her fingers rested on the stem of the glass, and she stared at me with the same intensity. “Spell it out for me.”

  “I want an apology. And I want a change.”

  “A change?”

  “I want you to promise that this phase is over. That you won’t go anywhere by yourself, that you won’t interfere in things that don’t concern you, and most importantly, that you will always put your safety above everything else.”

  “You can’t expect me never to go anywhere alone,” she snapped. “I want to go grocery shopping. I want—”

  “And you can do those things after you inform me.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  I stared at her harder. “You think this is a joke?”

  She stared at her glass.

  “You want us to move forward?” I asked coldly. “Then this is how it has to be. You’ve risked your life enough times. You’ve hurt me enough times. This conversation needs to happen. Your cooperation needs to happen. If you’re truly sorry, this shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

  “Compromising isn’t a problem,” she said. “But I can’t live my life that way, Crow. I want to take our kids to get ice cream after school…stuff like that.”

  She definitely wasn’t taking our kids out alone. “For a woman so bright, I don’t understand why you don’t get it.” My ferocity was coming to the surface again, my patience disappearing. “Do you not understand what I do for a living?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Do you not understand that people want to kill me?”

  “I get that, but—”

  “Do you not understand that I can’t have a normal life? I’ll always have to look over my shoulder. I’ll always have to be paranoid about someone trying to take away the most important thing in the world—you. I’m sorry you don’t get to have an easy life with a nobody husband. I’m sorry you can’t have the luxury of driving to the store whenever you want. But that’s how it is, Button. You married me—this is what you get. If you don’t like it, maybe we should talk about our options.”

  Her eyes flared like exploding grenades. “Don’t you ever say that to me again.”

  “Then don’t make me say it, Button.”

  Her ferocity dimmed, but only slightly. If the table weren’t between us, she probably would have slapped me.

  And I would have slapped her back. “Do you really not understand what I’m saying?”

  After a long pause, she nodded. “Yes…I do.”

  “Now that I’ve made my feelings perfectly clear, what do you want to do?”

  She didn’t touch her food, choosing to look away from me and stare at the scenery.

  “Button.”

  “I heard you.”

  “Then give me an answer.”

  She remained silent, staring out into the night. The crickets started chirping, playing their uniform song as dusk disappeared and the darkness replaced it. Tonight, we were having salmon with greens, but our food was probably cold by now.

  Like a snake, I had the utmost patience. I could sit there and stare at her all night until she finally moved. She was prey—and I was the predator. My eyes trained on her like a target.

  “I am sorry, Crow…”

  Finally, an apology.

  “I’m not sorry for what I did, but I am sorry for hurting you.”

  That was the most I was going to get out of her, so I accepted it.

  “You’re right. I need to be more careful. I’m not invincible like I sometimes think I am. I forget that we live in a dangerous world because this place is so beautiful.”

  Now we were headed in the right direction.

  “It’s just hard for me…I’ve always had so much freedom.”

  “And that freedom is how you wound up here.” She trusted a man she shouldn’t have trusted, and that was how she ended up in the hands of a madman like Bones. Under my supervision, she would never be in danger again—if she just listened to me.

  Her eyes flashed with irritation. “And I don’t have a single regret.”

  If Jacob hadn’t sold her, she wouldn’t have met me—and married me. It took a strong sense of love to feel that way, to suffer for so long at Bones’s mercy just to be with me. But I didn’t doubt that she meant it—and she would do it again if she had to.

  “Crow, this is hard for me. But I understand why you feel this way.”

  She’d better.

  “I just don’t like being told what to do.”

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy telling her what to do. “If we make these decisions together, I won’t have to tell you what to do. That’s the only way this is going to work.”

  “Okay…”

  “Will you promise to do as I ask?”

  “Why do I have to promise?”

  “Because that’s the only way I can trust you.”

  She grabbed her glass and took another big drink of wine. “Fine, I promise.”

  “Promise what, exactly?”

  “I promise I won’t leave the house without telling you.”

  “And?”

  “I promise I won’t put myself in harm’s way.”

  “And you need to promise me that you won’t put yourself in danger to save someone else—anyone else.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  “You almost died when you took Cane’s place. You could have been captured when you spoke to Tristan. This is a pattern for you. Putting yourself in danger like that isn’t being brave—it’s being stupid. No more, Button.”

  “What if you’re the one in danger?”

  “Doesn’t change anything.” If I were captured and they would only release me if Button took my place, she’d better not do it. My life was worthless. Death didn’t scare me. Living had always been far more difficult anyway. I would much rather leave my legacy to Button, to let her live a long and happy life.

  “Yes, it does.”

  “I’d rather be tortured to death than let anyone touch you. Now, promise me.”

  She wouldn’t.

  “Button,” I pressed.

  “I can promise not to put myself in danger for anyone else. But not for you.”

  I slammed both of my fists on the table and made all the dishes clank against the surface. “If you die, then I’m dead anyway.”

  “And you don’t think I feel the same way?”

  “If you did, you wouldn’t have walked into Tristan’s lair.”

  She sighed and looked down.

  “Now, promise me.”

  “I just want my husband back…”

  “Then do what I ask. After all the shit you’ve put me through, you owe me.”

  “I owe you?” she hissed.

  “Yes. You fucking owe me. Now, promise me.” I slammed my hands on the table again.

  Her wineglass tipped over and shattered on the patio.

  She didn’t react to the sharp sound, her eyes focused on me.

  “Button.”

  “Fine…I promise.”

  Finally, I got what I wanted. I got what I needed. Now I didn’t need to worry about her carelessness. If she went anywhere, she would tell me about it. She would work with me to do what she wanted in the safest way possible. She finally accepted she couldn’t walk under the sun without looking over her shoulder. She fin
ally promised she wouldn’t ever risk her life again.

  I could finally sleep at night.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at the table. Her breathing was slowly increasing, and the redness was moving into her cheeks. She was mad, she was emotional, she was everything all at once.

  I knew she’d hit her limit.

  I scooted my chair back from the table then patted my thigh. “Button.”

  She was out of her chair before I finished saying her name. She moved into my lap and circled her arms around my neck. Her face pressed into my chest. Her breathing escalated further until the tears broke the surface.

  She cried in my arms.

  I adjusted her on my lap and held her closer against me, letting her pour out her emotions and feeling them soak into my t-shirt. She wasn’t the kind of woman who cried, so her tears had heightened significance.

  “I’m sorry…”

  Those two simple words were enough to make me drop all my anger, all my resentment. She was given a blank slate, and like the incident had never happened, the only thing I felt for her was love. “I know.” I kissed her forehead, cherishing her the way she deserved. I’d ignored her for nearly two weeks, and I missed this affection as much as she did.

  Lars stepped outside, ready to take our plates and refill our glasses. But the second he saw Button crying into my chest, he abruptly walked back into the house and tried to pretend he hadn’t been there in the first place.

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, Button.” I kissed her forehead again because that was the only skin I could reach. I felt her shake in my arms, felt her weep into me.

  “I want to go to bed…”

  I lifted her from the chair and carried her right against my chest. One arm rested behind her knees while the other was scooped behind her shoulders. She kept her face pressed to my chest as her arms remained around my neck.

  I walked inside and headed for the staircase, listening to her quiet sniffles.

  Lars appeared out of the kitchen. “Would you like me to save your dinner for later, Your Grace?”

  “No thank you.” I walked up the stairs, my wife like a bag of feathers in my arms. “We won’t be eating tonight.” I carried her to the third floor and then into the bedroom I hadn’t been sleeping in. The place smelled distinctly like her now, most of my clothes and toiletries gone. Now her perfume, belongings, and clothes filled the space I once occupied.