Buttons and Grace Page 29

  He cocked his head to the side, downplaying my words without making a single argument. “How many times have you said that now?”

  Asshole. “I only let you have me again because I thought that would be enough for you to forget about me.”

  “Forget about you?” he questioned. “Actually, you have the opposite effect on me. Now that I’ve had some of you, I want all of you. I haven’t even fucked that pretty little mouth of yours yet. And don’t get me started on that ass.”

  The blood drained from my face because it was headed in one direction—south. No man had ever spoken to me that way—and pulled it off.

  “You’re hiding something from me.”

  A lot of things, actually.

  “You want me. I know you do. I made you come by dry-humping you. So let’s not pretend otherwise.”

  I wasn’t.

  “And I want you too. There’s no reason why we can’t keep doing this—until one of us gets bored.”

  The more he pursued me, the more I wanted to be honest about my intentions. The more I wanted to come clean about the monster I was. But I would put my entire career on a platter in front of him—and a butcher knife in his hand. “Hunt, there’s a lot more to me than meets the eye. I enjoy things that you don’t understand. I have a life that resembles the underworld. There are things about me that I could never share. You want us to keep doing this, but honestly, I don’t. If we stayed together, I’d want to make a lot of changes. And trust me when I say you wouldn’t be into them.”

  His eyes were glued to my face. “How will you know unless you try?”

  “Because I don’t trust you, Hunt.”

  “You should.”

  “Why? You’re my competitor and a stranger.”

  “But I’m also a man, the kind of man who would respect the wishes of his partner no matter what. Above all else, I believe in honesty and loyalty. If you ask for my loyalty, all I ask is you give me yours too.”

  My eyes shifted back and forth between his, sizing him up.

  “Titan.” The bite of his tone faded when he said my name. “Tell me exactly what you want. If you’re right and it’s something I’m not willing to do, then we’ll forget the whole thing. But you shouldn’t throw this away because you think you know me. You say I’m a stranger. If that’s the case, then you have no idea what my opinions are. I won’t make assumptions about you if you do the same for me.”

  Somehow, he softened my hard edges, making me smooth underneath. I didn’t see him as a threat anymore, even somewhat of a friend. He did it so easily, said it with such pretty words. I felt like I could trust a man I didn’t know.

  How did he do that?

  “Titan.” He stepped forward, completely invading my personal space. His face was just inches from mine, the smell of his body soap still noticeable under the sunscreen. “Trust me.”

  Trust was the most prized word in my dictionary. I was lucky enough to have a few people whom I trusted with my darkest secrets, but that kind of comfort didn’t come easily. It took years, decades, to earn that kind of loyalty.

  But he was already asking for it.

  There was nothing I adored more than being with someone I trusted completely, to have the kind of relationship that was beautiful because it was unknown to the rest of the world. It allowed me to be me—in all my true colors. But loyal men were hard to find. “I’ll think about it.”

  Hunt held his breath as he looked at me, approval in his dark gaze. That was the most cooperation he would get out of me, and there was no point in pushing it. I’d given him something I hadn’t given to anyone else. Every person I’d been with had been thoroughly investigated before I’d bothered.

  But I was going into this blind.

  Hunt

  I finally got a different answer out of her besides no.

  Maybe.

  It wasn’t a yes, but it would be soon.

  I just had to be patient.

  I didn’t know what skeletons she was hiding in her closet. I didn’t know what kind of kinky shit she enjoyed. And whatever sinful stuff she was into, I was surprised she was embarrassed about it.

  She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who embarrassed easily.

  I wondered if she was into whips and chains, being tied up while I fucked her with a mask on. If that was her thing, that was fine by me. The kinkier, the better. I’d whip her ass as many times as she asked.

  I’d dominate her like she’d never been dominated before.

  Piece of cake.

  But if it were that simple, she would have just told me.

  Natalie spoke through the intercom. “Sir, I have Pine Rosenthal here to see you.”

  I made sure my assistants understood he couldn’t just barge into my office anymore. Even if we had been friends since grade school, that didn’t matter. He could wait like everyone else. “Send him in.”

  Pine walked inside, glowering at me like I stabbed him in the gut. “What the hell? Why do I have to wait?”

  “You aren’t special. That’s why.”

  Pine fell into the chair and rolled his eyes like a child.

  I did feel like the adult in most situations. “How’s Isa?”

  “Gorgeous and flexible.” He winked. “I can’t tell you how I know that.”

  “I didn’t ask.”

  “So…did you fuck Titan yet?”

  I was fucking her, but the question annoyed me. The basic question almost seemed disrespectful toward her. Pine was my friend, but he obviously saw her as something that should be conquered, as if bedding a strong woman like her was some kind of special accomplishment.

  Now I understood why she didn’t want me to say anything. All the guys in our universe would talk about it. She would be seen as the woman who opened her legs for me, and she would lose respect because of it.

  Bullshit.

  “No.”

  “Really?” Both of his eyebrows nearly popped off his face. “She won’t give it up, will she?”

  “She’s not going to. We’re just friends.”

  “Yeah, okay,” he said sarcastically. “And my cock is just friends with Isa’s pussy.”

  I threatened him with a single look.

  Pine finally shut his mouth. “Is she seeing someone, then?”

  “No. I think she’s just picky about who she dates.”

  “And Diesel Hunt didn’t make the cut?”

  “Guess not.”

  “She’s probably damaged goods anyway since her boyfriend died…”

  My spine went rigid when that piece of information was laid out on the table. When I researched her, I found information about her professional career, how she started with nothing, and made it to the top on her own. There was nothing written about her personal life, not even a single boyfriend. “When did this happen?”

  “A long time ago, in her early twenties. She wasn’t well-known at the time.”

  “I didn’t see anything like that online.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. I’m sure she went to great lengths to prevent that information from circling. Most people don’t know about it because it happened so long ago when she was a nobody.”

  “How do you know about it?”

  “My dad told me.”

  I wanted to know every little detail about this, but I didn’t want to sound too eager. “What happened to him?”

  “They were living together, and there was some kind of break-in. She was beat up pretty badly, had to stay in the hospital for a while. The guy was killed by the robber, stabbed right in the heart. Brutal, man. Happened in Brooklyn.”

  I stared at my friend with a blank look on my face, but there were a million thoughts circling in my mind. She lived through such a brutal attack, but the man she loved didn’t survive. He probably died trying to protect her.

  No wonder why she was so closed off now. “Do you remember exactly when this happened?”

  “I think she was twenty-one.”

  That was nine years ago
. She still hadn’t moved on? That night haunted her dreams? “Thanks for letting me know…”

  “So maybe it’s better that things didn’t work out.”

  “Yeah…”

  Tatum

  A week passed.

  I got a lot of work done, but every time someone walked into my office, I glanced up to see who it was.

  To see if it was him.

  Hunt gave me more space than he had before, knowing I was considering telling him everything I was hiding.

  I went back and forth a lot.

  Sometimes, I thought it would be fine and I should just tell him the truth. And other times, I realized it was a terrible idea with deadly repercussions.

  So I decided to ask someone I trusted more than anyone else in the world.

  Thorn.

  He walked into my apartment and joined me in the kitchen. “Smells good.”

  “Sirloin with asparagus.”

  “I’m glad you invited me over.”

  We sat together in my dining room, next to the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the entire city. The bright lights twinkled across the skyline, the lit-up bridge in the distance. Car lights could be seen everywhere, growing bright when they faced us head on, and then disappearing when they turned a different way.

  Thorn ate quietly, a glass of red wine beside his plate. He was dressed down in a pair of denim jeans and a black t-shirt, the fabric hugging the prominent muscles of his body. He worked out religiously to maintain his body. I, on the other hand, just didn’t eat. I had everything I could possibly want, but I still couldn’t afford the luxury of time.

  Thorn switched his gaze to me. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  “What makes you think I want to talk about anything?” I cut into my asparagus before I placed it in my mouth.

  “Sweetheart, I know you.” He took a bite of his steak then immediately drank his wine afterward. “What is it?”

  I held my glass wine before I answered. “Diesel Hunt.”

  “What about him?”

  “He’s been adamant about having something long-term with me.” The sex wouldn’t be like it was now, but that was because it would be better. He might disagree, but that was his own decision to make.

  “And?”

  “I’m thinking of telling him my preferences.” I drank my wine to mask the unease I felt in my stomach. Fear wasn’t something that grasped me often, but when it did, it felt like a rock in the pit of my stomach.

  “Diesel Hunt doesn’t seem like the kind of guy you’re looking for.”

  “I know.” But I wanted him anyway. I would love to strip everything away and just be who I was.

  “Can he keep his mouth shut?”

  “He says loyalty is important to him.”

  Thorn continued eating, considering what I said. “Sounds like you made up your mind.”

  “Just wanted your opinion about it.”

  “As long as you keep my secret, I don’t care.”

  “You know I always will.”

  “But if this develops into something more—”

  “It won’t.”

  Thorn didn’t press me on it, knowing I always stuck to my guns. “What will you say if he asks about us?”

  “Nothing. It’s none of his business.”

  “He might want more of an explanation.”

  “I’ll come up with something if I have to.”

  He chewed a piece of asparagus before he nodded. “Make him sign an NDA.”

  I did it with all my partners. No reason why I shouldn’t do it with Hunt. “I will.”

  “Good luck,” he said. “I hope it works out for you, but I suspect it won’t.”

  I expected Hunt to walk away once my offer was on the table. But even with low expectations, I knew how disappointed I would be if that were our last interaction. No one could make my thighs clench the way he did.

  And no one probably ever would.

  * * *

  Getting his phone number wasn’t difficult. All I had to do was pull a few strings, and within two minutes, it was programmed into my phone. Instead of texting him, I called him. This wasn’t any different from a business meeting and deserved a far more personal touch.

  He answered the phone, his voice deep and heavy with masculinity. I could picture the movement of his lips when he spoke, the way his throat shifted when he smiled. “Hunt.”

  “Titan.”

  A long pause ensued, full of that smile I knew was plastered across his face. “Lovely to hear from you.”

  I was sitting at my desk with my legs crossed, his male voice making my body do particularly female things. Butterflies didn’t swirl in my stomach, but my breathing escalated when I pictured his mouth against mine. “Let’s schedule a meeting. Let me know when you’re free.”

  “For you, I’m free anytime.”

  Now a grin formed on my face. “Tonight. 7 p.m. My place.”

  “I finally get to see your place. I’ll be there.”

  “Goodbye, Hunt.”

  “Titan, whatever agreement we reach, I’m fucking you before I leave.”

  Heat moved up my throat, like flames that grew in the fireplace when another log was tossed on top. My slender legs were pressed tightly together, and I automatically licked my lips in response. “I’d expect nothing less.”

  * * *

  My penthouse was just like my office, in shades of black, gray, and white. Pops of color from flowers, decorative pillows, and blankets brought warmth and light into the room. A soft rug was on the ground, and my favorite paintings were on the walls.

  The lights were down low, everything was set up at the dining table, and I was already helping myself to my favorite drink before the elevator beeped with his arrival.

  The doors opened, and there he stood, six foot three of all man. He wasn’t in his suit, having changed before he came over. Now he was wearing jeans and an olive-green t-shirt, his muscular arms visible, acting as eye candy.

  And arm porn.

  He stepped inside like he owned the place—and me. His eyes were on me, not taking in the features of the entryway or living room. He didn’t seem to care about anything inside except me.

  I stayed in my seat at the head of the table, refusing to stand and address him. Giving him a handshake felt inappropriate, and a kiss on the cheek would lead to kisses in other places. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  He grabbed my drink before he took a seat at the opposite end of the table. With his eyes on me, he drained the glass into his mouth before he set it down. “I’m good.” I’d done the same thing to him in my office, and it wasn’t lost on me why he was doing it now.

  I pulled out the NDA and a pen and slid it toward him. “I need you to sign this.”

  He kept his gaze on me for several long seconds before he looked down. He barely glanced at it before he looked up again. “A nondisclosure agreement?” That handsome eyebrow was hiked up, incredulity accenting his sexy look.

  “Yes.”

  He eyed it again before he turned it over. “I’m not signing it.”

  My hands were together on the table, and I cocked my head even though I tried not to let my temper rise. “Then we have nothing to discuss. You can show yourself out, Hunt.”

  He didn’t move a fraction of an inch. “I don’t need to sign it because it’s a moot point. We’re both equally wealthy. We can sue each other back and forth until the end of time, accomplishing nothing in the process. This sort of thing doesn’t work between two parties such as ourselves.”

  He was absolutely right, but I refused to admit it. “Then you should have no problem signing it.”

  “This relationship you want to have is going to be based on trust—that goes both ways. That needs to start now. Having me sign this takes away that level of trust.”

  “How can I trust you unless you give me a reason to?”

  “My friends question me about you every single day. I’ve never told them about the thi
ngs we do when we’re alone together, no matter how dirty they are. I’ve kept that to myself, and I will continue to do so until you say otherwise. I’ve already proven myself to you.”

  He had done as I asked, and I couldn’t argue otherwise.

  Hunt watched me closely. “Now talk to me, Titan. Whatever we discuss in here dies with us.”

  Something about Hunt drew me in, led me to believe I could trust him even though I didn’t have a concrete reason why I could. He reminded me of Thorn in a lot of ways. Perhaps that was another reason why I liked him. He was honest to a fault and transparent. There was never a time when I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. And if I couldn’t, all I had to do was ask. “Very well.”

  Hunt sat forward in his chair, his hands on the table as he leaned toward me. He watched me with eyes that were the same color as the soil, the same color as the ground I walked on every single day. It reminded me of the rest of him, solid and thick.

  “I have specific relationships with the men in my life. I wouldn’t even call them relationships, just arrangements.”

  Hunt stared me down, hardly blinking.

  “In these arrangements, I’m in absolute control. We do what I say, when I say it. There’s no room for negotiation. The man is only responsible for following the orders that I give. His purpose is to please me, to fulfill the fantasies that I enjoy. The arrangement continues until one of us terminates it. There’s no love or friendship. Just lust and trust.”

  Hunt still didn’t change his expression, listening to everything I said with perfect attention. He didn’t wear a mocking look or narrow his eyes in repulsion. He took it in all in—silently. “You’re a Dominant.”

  At least he had a basis to understand what I was. “Close, but not quite.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “In my world, there are no safe words. By signing yourself over to me, you’re giving me your soul.” It would be wrapped around my fingers for the entire duration. He would have no voice, no opinion. “Your only option is to leave. But once you do, you can’t come back. Trust is broken, and the arrangement is over.”