Fighter in Lingerie: Lingerie #14 Page 21
A full minute of silence passed, and not once in that minute did he blink.
I tried to find the right words to say, but nothing popped into my head. I was still determined to walk away from this relationship when our time came to an end, but he’d just thrown a curveball at me. Saying those words would make our breakup nearly impossible. I refused to say it back, and I refused to accept the love he just confessed. “Bosco—”
“Don’t act surprised. I didn’t have to jump into that ring and kill the man who bothered you. I have hundreds of dogs on my payroll who could have handled that for me. I put my life on the line and snapped his arm and broke his back—because you’re my woman. I’ll gladly get my hands dirty in your honor. If that’s not a declaration of love, I don’t know what is.”
There was nothing I could say to that because he was completely right.
“You’re the safest woman in this city because I protect you. I protect you because you’re the single most important thing in my life. You aren’t just the woman I’m sleeping with. You’re the one who sleeps beside me all night, the one who has dinner with me, the one I’m completely committed to. Ruby is a beautiful woman who knows her way around a bedpost, but she’ll never be more than a good lay. You, on the other hand, are the only woman I’ve ever loved. You’re the only woman I’ve ever skipped the condom with. You’re the only woman who makes me apologize, forces me to make promises, and turns my hardness into softness. Let’s not pretend that my love isn’t written all over my face, written all over every little thing I do. I didn’t expect this to happen, but now that it has, I’m not afraid to say it. So you’d better not be afraid to handle it.”
I listened to every single word, no longer shocked by the sudden confession, but by the aggressive way he forced me to accept it. He wasn’t ashamed in the least, and he wasn’t angry that I didn’t say it back. He only wanted to prove his point further, to show that his confession was amplified by his actions.
Now he stared at me, silently demanding that I repeat the phrase back to him.
I refused to do it.
He sat back in his chair, his eyes filling with disappointment.
“I told you I’m leaving when this is over.”
“Even though you’re in love with me?”
“I never said I was.”
“Cut the bullshit.” He pushed his plate aside and leaned over the table closer to me. “You can keep lying to yourself, but that’s not gonna last long. And you can’t lie to me at all—because I see it written all over your face. I see it when I’m buried deep inside you, when you’re crying because you’re worried about my safety, when you sleep on the couch as you wait for me to come home at night. I’ve always admired you because of how strong and real you are. You’ve never been afraid to be honest, to tell the truth exactly as it is. But now…you’re weak. You’re too weak to face me like a real woman. You’re too scared to own up to the truth. That’s not the Carmen I know. The woman I know, the woman I love, has a much stronger backbone than that.”
12
Bosco
I didn’t need to go to the casino that night, but I went anyway.
Because Carmen had pissed me off.
After I checked on the floor and talked to security, I took the elevator down to my office underground. It was the quietest place in the world, the one location I could truly be alone without being bothered. The only person who could get down here without my prior knowledge was Ronan—and he hardly ever did.
I sat in my leather chair with a glass of scotch in my hand. I stared at the wall, my elbow on the desk and my fingertips lightly pressed against my cheek. My thoughts kept going back to Carmen, the one who came into my life so unexpectedly. Now she was ruining my life because she wanted to leave.
It was a bunch of bullshit.
I knew she loved me. She just didn’t want to love me.
Too fucking bad.
Hours passed, but I was in no hurry to head home. Carmen would be on the couch because she couldn’t sleep without me. This was my cruel way of showing her exactly how dependent she was on me.
Just in case she forgot.
The elevator clanked as it descended to my floor, and heavy footsteps thudded against the concrete as someone came down to join me.
It could only be one person.
I stood up and poured another drink. “All I got is scotch. Drink up.” I set the glass at the end of the desk and sat down again.
Ronan grinned before he picked it up. “Do you ever have anything else?” He took a drink before he sat down on the leather couch, the couch where I’d fucked Carmen that one time.
“Good point.” I swirled my glass before I took another drink. “Is there something you need?”
“No. Drake told me you’d been down here a long time. Wanted to see if everything was alright.”
“I’m fine.” The words weren’t convincing, even to me. I came down here to get away from Carmen, not to think and talk about her.
He took a long drink before he wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “Look, it’s late. How about we cut the bullshit and just get right to the point? I know there’s something wrong, and I’m guessing it has something to do with Carmen. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. But not let’s pretend.”
I didn’t want to talk about it, but I didn’t want to coldly dismiss my brother when he was only trying to be supportive. I’d pushed him away already, and it was a miracle he was still there. I wouldn’t take him for granted again. “You’re right. It’s about Carmen.”
“Yeah? What happened?”
“I told her I loved her. She refused to say it back.”
Ronan’s eyes opened wider, just as surprised by her reaction as I was. “You know she’s lying, right?”
I rested my fingertips against my temple. “Yes.” There was no way a woman could kiss that good, could fuck that good, and could cry that good without meaning it. I saw the way she used me as a crutch, the way I made her feel safer than anyone else in the world.
“Now the question is, why is she lying?”
“A lot of reasons. The biggest one, she wants to break up in four weeks.”
“Really?” he asked. “Doesn’t seem like she wants to leave.”
“I think she’d rather move on than try to make it work with me. I’m still not what she wants in a partner.”
“What does she want, exactly?”
“A family.” She wanted four kids, one right after another.
“And that’s not something you’re willing to do?”
I shrugged. “She’s never asked. That’s what makes me angry. She already ruled me out with even bothering to find out. She’s never given me a chance to be what she wants—even though I keep proving her wrong over and over.”
“Maybe you should tell her that.”
“No. I’ve been bending over backward for this woman for too long. She needs to meet me halfway. She needs to tell me how she feels.”
Ronan didn’t disagree with me. “She’ll come around, Bosco. It’s only a matter of time. She’s been crazy about you since the beginning. Maybe she can lie to you for a while, but she can’t lie to herself. It won’t last long.”
“I hope you’re right. I’m purposely lingering, knowing she’s sitting on the couch, waiting for me to come home. She told me she can’t sleep without me. I’m reminding her how much she needs me…just in case she forgot.”
When I came home, she was exactly where I expected her to be.
But this time, she was sitting upright with her knees pulled to her chest. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she was watching an old sitcom on TV. It was almost five in the morning, and even though she was supposed to wake up in forty-five minutes, she’d stayed awake the entire time.
Point proven.
I ignored her as I walked inside and headed for the bedroom. I stripped off my clothes and tossed them into the bin before I put my shoes on top.
She helped herself into bed, gettin
g under my sheets and closing her eyes.
I got on my side of the bed, but just because we were in this rut didn’t mean we weren’t fucking. I pulled her panties down her ass and legs and then rolled her to her stomach. Even if she didn’t want to participate, she was getting fucked. That pussy would be stuffed with my come regardless.
She barely had a chance to say a single word before I shoved myself inside her.
“Don’t say a goddamn thing.” I thrust hard, pressing her into the mattress as I ground against her with all my weight. I was pissed at this woman, but no matter how angry I was, it didn’t change my needs. I could have stopped by Ruby’s place and gotten my dick sucked, but I only wanted this come—even when I was angry.
She moaned with my thrusts, her body shaking with the intense way I drove into her.
I wasn’t in the mood to please her, so I didn’t care about getting her off. All I cared about now was driving myself into a climax so I could go to sleep.
But she came anyway.
I pounded hard and fast, making her ass cheeks shake because I thrust into her so hard. I fucked her pussy like a toy and moved through the cream she made for me. With a groan, I came. Come exploded out of my head and entered deep inside her, exactly where it belonged. I kept thrusting as I enjoyed the last of my orgasm, turned on by the way I was stuffing her.
When I finished, I rolled off her and moved back to my side of the bed, purposely putting space between us. If she didn’t want to be loved by me, I would show her exactly how that felt. I would show her what it was like to mean nothing to me.
She moved to her back and stayed on her side, her breathing still heavy in the darkness. She usually fell asleep almost instantly, but now she seemed to be wide awake. She looked at the ceiling with the sheets pulled to her waist.
I turned on my side and purposely looked away from her.
I wasn’t tired and neither was she, but neither one of us would speak. Practically oceans apart, we pretended the other didn’t exist.
13
Carmen
I was low.
I turned down Bosco’s feelings and pretended he didn’t mean anything to me. I told him I was leaving when this relationship finished its contract, but I failed to mention how much it would hurt when that moment came. I could see the future, the pain I would put my parents through. I could see the drama, the fights, the guns that would be pointed at each other. It took six months for Crow to accept Griffin—and it almost didn’t happen.
Bosco wouldn’t be any different.
They would never approve. He would be a wedge in my relationship with my family. He would never be a father or a husband. He would always be the king of the underworld, the man of mass destruction.
I had to leave. I had no other choice.
It didn’t matter how I felt. It didn’t matter how many tears I shed. It didn’t matter that he was the only man I’d ever allowed to come inside me. All the feelings that existed between us, the connection, the intimacy…they didn’t matter.
It wouldn’t work.
So I stayed strong and didn’t utter the words he wanted to hear. I let the distance between us linger. I let him fuck me like I meant nothing to him—and I still came anyway.
He purposely came home late every single night, forcing me to lose sleep because I was wide awake until he walked through the door. He knew it—and that was exactly why he did it. He just wanted to prove his point.
And he did.
The days passed, and there were no signs of improvement. I was afraid this was how we would spend the last three weeks together, having meaningless sex and no conversations. He would avoid me by staying at work all night, and I would continually be sleep deprived every single day.
He was too stubborn to let it go. I knew his behavior wouldn’t change until I told him what he wanted to hear.
That I was madly in love with him.
I worked at the shop all day, and when closing time arrived, I piled all my cash into a leather pouch and locked the doors. I walked to the bank down the road, the place where I had my business accounts. Since I was the only employee, I didn’t even consider myself to be a small business. I was simply a one-woman show.
There was a long line at the bank, so I stepped inside and pulled out my phone. Griffin hadn’t contacted me since our last conversation, and since Vanessa hadn’t called me either, I wondered if she knew anything about it. It didn’t seem like something Griffin would keep from her, but maybe he didn’t want to scare her.
I heard the doors behind me slam closed.
Then the gunshots went off.
I dropped my phone on the ground as the four armed men stormed across the floor of the bank. They pulled men and women from their booths and dragged them onto the floor, pointing guns at their faces and ordering them to stay down.
Jesus Christ, I was in the middle of a robbery.
I dropped to the floor like everyone else and kept my head down.
The men secured the doors with thick cables so no one could get inside. The windows seemed to be bulletproof because the gunshots didn’t make the glass shatter.
That meant Bosco’s men couldn’t get to me.
Shit.
Two men went down the line and started ordering people to hand over their belongings while the other two hit the tellers and demanded them to open the drawers.
When one woman refused to hand over her wedding ring, they shot her.
Now I was scared. Truly scared. I could keep calm in intense situations and find a way out, but this time, there was no escape route. All the doors were secured with cables, and I couldn’t jump out of a window.
I was stuck.
The man kept going down the line, taking people’s phones, wallets, and anything else valuable, from jewelry to expensive shoes.
I didn’t care about any of my possessions—except my necklace. My father gave this to me, and there was no way I was letting them have it. I tucked my necklace inside my sweater then covered my shoulders with my hair.
The man’s face was covered with a black mask, and he held a pistol. He pointed the gun right between my eyes.
It was the second time that had happened to me—and I was getting tired of it.
I dropped the leather pouch in his bag along with my phone and wallet. I was wearing cheap rings that weren’t sentimental, so I threw those in there too, just so he would understand I was cooperating.
“Anything else?” he asked, pressing the barrel right into my skin. The metal of the gun was cold.
“No.” I kept my voice stern, knowing Bosco’s men would make it inside the building any second. It’d been nearly three minutes since the robbery began. The police hadn’t even arrived. The men would probably take off any minute now if they wanted to get away.
“Then what’s this?” He reached into my sweater and yanked on the chain, revealing the rose made out of diamonds. “Bitch, you want to die?”
I wasn’t giving up my necklace, not when my father gave it to me on my brother’s wedding day. “Fuck you.” I kicked him hard in the knee, making him fall back and shoot his gun by mistake. He shattered a light in the ceiling.
My instincts kicked in, and I lunged for the gun.
“I don’t think so, bitch.” He grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me back. He pulled his arm back and punched me hard in the face.
It was a powerful hit, but I had enough adrenaline to keep me going. I punched him in the throat and forced the air from his windpipe.
“What the fuck?” One of his comrades finally came to his aid and pointed the gun at me. “If you don’t want to die, I suggest you sit still.” He nodded to his accomplice. “Get the necklace and let’s go.”
“Just shoot her.”
“Nah, she’s too sexy. We’ve got her wallet, so I’ll hunt her down later.”
Why were all men such pigs?
The man moved on top of me and grabbed my necklace.
Now there was nothing I could do but let h
im take it.
An explosion sounded behind me, accompanied by breaking glass and the sound of shards hitting the bank floor.
I knew exactly who it was. “Thank god.”
The man abandoned my necklace and ran for his gun.
I kicked it away. “Take that, bitch.”
Men rushed in, firing weapons right away, shooting three of them but leaving the fourth one alive.
Then Bosco arrived, his face red and the cords in his neck twitching. In jeans and a t-shirt, he was dressed casually, but he somehow carried all the power befitting his persona. A pistol was in his right hand. “Which one?”
Two of his men grabbed the man who had punched me in the face.
The guy struggled at first, but then stopped when he realized he was outnumbered, his comrades lifeless behind him.
“Him?” Bosco tossed his gun to one of his guys then pulled out a knife.
Oh my god.
“Shit! No!” The guy tried to twist away.
Bosco was on him fast, stabbing him over and over, hitting him in the chest, neck, and stomach. “You fucking touched my woman.”
It was so violent, I had to look away. I didn’t get a sense of revenge out of the sight. I felt weak and sick. I lay down, trying to tune out the horrifying sounds the man was making as he was being stabbed to death.
I kept my eyes closed until it was finally over.
Bosco dropped the knife then came to me next, not a drop of blood on him. “Beautiful.” His powerful arms surrounded me, and he brought me close, examining the black eye that was already forming on my face. He sighed in despair, his eyes full of heartbreak. “I’m so sorry.” He pulled me into his chest then kissed my neck and cheeks, giving me kisses and love everywhere. “Fuck, I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough.”