Buttons and Blame Page 14

  “Cane.”

  My gaze met his.

  “If you love this woman, you know I’m in.”

  My eyes immediately filled with emotion, touched by his loyalty.

  “It changes everything. If she’s going to be a Barsetti someday, then she’s my family. And I have to protect her.”

  “Thank you…”

  He sank back into his chair, his eyes heavy with the task. “But I need to make arrangements for Pearl. I have to place her somewhere where she can’t be found, where she’ll have everything she needs if I don’t survive.”

  I nodded in agreement.

  “Give me a day or two to figure that out.”

  A day or two was too long, but I couldn’t expect him to drop everything. “Okay.”

  “In the meantime, gather up all the soldiers you can find. Let’s work on a plan for this.”

  I knew Crow didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want any part in it. All he wanted was a quiet life for him and Pearl. All of that was going to shit because of me. “Thank you, brother.” The rest of our family was gone, and the only thing that filled the void in my chest was Crow. He was all the family I had left. We fought, insulted each other, and seemed annoyed with one another most of the time. But the bond of blood between us was unbreakable.

  Crow met my gaze without blinking. “You’re welcome, brother.”

  12

  Pearl

  The loss of Adelina was heartbreaking.

  It was wrong.

  I’d managed to escape and live a beautiful life. Why wasn’t she so lucky? I shouldn’t be angry with Crow or Cane because it wasn’t their fault. If there were something that could have been done to save her, they would have figured out a way.

  But there wasn’t a way.

  In time, this would get easier. But for now, it was like a pill that was too big to swallow.

  It moved down a dry throat and made me cough.

  Crow came home at the same time that day. He walked into the bedroom and dropped his jacket on the floor. Shoes were kicked off and tossed in two random spots in the room. His tie came next, sliding out of his smooth collar.

  I put my book down and greeted him by the door, noticing the testy look in his eyes. He was definitely irritated about something. There was usually something on this mind every day, but today, it was more obvious than usual.

  “What is it?” I walked up to him, my hands moving to his chest. I’d been distant with him lately. We only had sex last night because he demanded it. I shouldn’t be so cold toward him when he’d done his best to spare Adelina. I was still upset over what happened, but I missed him more. I missed those kisses as soon as he walked in the door, the way he ran his hand through my hair.

  He unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. “It can wait.” He scooped me into his arms and carried me to the bed. He set me at the foot of the bed and yanked up my dress. My panties were ripped off, and his slacks were dropped to the floor. An instant later, he was inside me, every inch of his long length stretching me.

  I gripped his arms as I took a deep breath, my mind immediately drifting to the clouds above. All I felt was the lustful connection between us, the romantic passion based on intimate love. All I felt was my husband between my legs, the only man I’d ever fallen so deeply in love with. “Crow.”

  He moved farther over me, my ankles tied around his waist. He deepened the angle so I could take all of him, stretch me wide apart as he moved inside me. His hand slid into my hair, and he gave me hard thrusts, hitting me deeply every single time. He breathed with me, his hand continually grabbing my hair.

  “Crow…”

  He kissed me hard on the mouth, his tongue moving with mine. He kissed me like he loved me, like he hadn’t just made love to me earlier that morning. “I love you, Button.”

  My arms snaked around his neck, and my heart throbbed at his words. They were sweet and significant, something he didn’t say as often as I did. He showed it in every other way. But when he said it, it was so much more meaningful. I could feel it in his words rather than just hear it. “I love you too…”

  After he showered and changed, he sat on the couch in the living room just in front of the patio. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, his hair ruffled because it was still slightly damp from the shower. He stared at the cold fireplace, his green eyes dulling to match the color of the ashes sitting at the bottom.

  I came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders, feeling the tension as well as the knots. “What is it, Crow?” I could feel his silent trepidation, his quiet unease. He wasn’t angry, just worried. I knew him so well that I could understand the difference easily.

  He patted the seat beside him.

  I dropped my hands and walked around the couches until I was sitting beside him. My hand went to his thigh, needing to touch him as well as let him be touched.

  He continued to look at the fireplace. “Cane wants to save Adelina—and he asked me to help him.”

  “He did?” My heart immediately picked up in excitement, in relief.

  “At first, I said no. I told him I’m not interested in war anymore. I’ve got my own family to take care of.” His hand moved onto mine as it rested on his thigh. “But then he told me he was in love with her.”

  My eyes fell shut with emotion. I knew there something more between them. Cane bent over backward to make that woman smile. He gave her the world on a silver platter. He wouldn’t do that for just anyone. “It’s the right thing to do, Crow. We have to get her out of there. She deserves to be free.”

  “That’s not why I’m doing it. I’m only doing it because of the way he feels. If something happened to you, he would be there for me in a heartbeat. He would take a bullet in his neck if I asked him to.”

  “You’re right, he would. I think it’s fair that we do what we can to save her. She’s a good person…she doesn’t deserve this.”

  He released a quiet sigh, his shoulders tensing. “There’s no we, Button. Just me.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You won’t be involved in this.” He turned his head toward me, prepared to see my appalled reaction. “it’s just Cane and me, along with our crew.”

  “She’s my friend, Crow.”

  “Doesn’t matter. You’re my wife first.”

  “I can help you—”

  “No.” He stared me down, colder than ever before.

  “No?”

  “No,” he repeated. “It’s way too dangerous.”

  “Then what do you expect me to do? Stay home and read while all of this is going on?”

  “Actually, I’ll be sending you somewhere safe. Lars will go with you.”

  “What?” I shrieked. “You’re gonna send me off? Like a child to boarding school?”

  “Just until everything is over. They’ll come after you. And if I die, I need to know you’ll be taken care of.”

  “Let’s not even talk about that—”

  “It could happen, Button. I’m strong, but I’m not invincible. One wrong move and it could all be over. I know how strong you are, but you’ve never been in a gunfight before. There’s too much going on and not enough time for me to train you.”

  “Then I could do something else. I could be a driver or something.”

  “No. I’m not going to change my mind about this.”

  “Do you think I care if you change your mind or not?”

  He clenched his jaw as he looked at me, his anger coming to the surface. He did his best to tuck it away, to keep it bottled up inside before he screamed at me. “You can either cooperate, or I’ll make you. I’ve already made arrangements for you and Lars. You’ll have a team of a dozen men with you at all times. You’ll be safe until I’m ready to get you…or…I don’t come back.”

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  “Too bad.”

  “Crow, I’m serious.”

  “And I’m more serious. I’ll still put a needle in your neck just like last time. Don’t unde
restimate me.”

  My cheeks puffed with rage, and I struggled not to scream. I wanted to slap him so hard he saw stars. Instead of being treated like a partner, I was viewed as a child. I was livid, out of my mind.

  “Button, listen to me.”

  “No.” I stormed out of the room and took off, knowing he wouldn’t come after me. We’d already had this fight before, where he was pissed when I put myself in danger. We didn’t speak for weeks, but that memory wasn’t enough to stop me. He wanted to send me away somewhere else, somewhere far away with the possibility he wouldn’t come back. If he died, I wanted to die too.

  Simple enough.

  Cane answered the door with a furrowed brow. He looked sick, malnourished, and paler than cream. He stared at me with my walls surrounding me on all sides, prepared for an attack he hadn’t anticipated.

  I welcomed myself inside. “Crow told me about your plans.”

  Cane shut the door and trailed behind me until we were in the living room. He crossed his arms over his chest and stood behind the couch. “Then why are you here?”

  “Because I’m pissed at him, and I had nowhere else to go.”

  “So you decided to bother me instead?” Just like his brother, he grabbed a decanter of scotch and poured himself a drink.

  “He told me he’s going to send me away. He said I can’t help you get Adelina back.”

  He sat on the couch, his glass in his hand. “Yeah, I’m aware.”

  I paced in his living room, my anger simmering. “How can he say that to me? I care about Adelina. I want to help her.”

  “I know you do. I said the same thing. I reminded him that you’re a tough cookie.”

  I threw my arms down. “Thank you.”

  “But since I’ve been home, I’m been thinking a lot about it…”

  I turned back to him, my guard back up.

  “And he’s right, Button. This is going to be intense. Tristan and his men are ruthless. They won’t hesitate to shoot you between the eyes, or worse, take you as a prisoner. It’ll be too difficult for Crow and me to focus if we’re worried about you the whole time. I have to do my best to get Adelina out of there. If Crow is taken down because he’s too busy protecting you…it could jeopardize everything.”

  I stared at him in disbelief. “What happened to me being a Barsetti?”

  “You are a Barsetti.”

  “Then I’m part of the team.”

  “You don’t have enough experience. Trust me, I want all the help I can get. But this isn’t your fight.”

  “You forget what I did to Bones. You forget I tricked him into loving me, that I survived the brutal way you beat me, that I escaped those bounty hunters, that I sowed a knife into my shoulder and ripped it out to kill Bones. Give me the credit I’ve earned.”

  “I know you’re badass, Pearl. I never said otherwise. But this is way too dangerous. I’m on Crow’s side for this.”

  “I think you’re only on his side because he agreed to help you.”

  He shrugged. “He has my back. I have his.”

  When I came back to the house, Crow was standing outside waiting for me. He must have watched my GPS signal the entire time I was gone. He knew I went to Cane’s, and he watched the dot head back to the house I shared with him.

  He stood with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his expression indifferent. He didn’t seem angry by my outburst, probably because I went to Cane’s instead of driving aimlessly across Tuscany.

  I left his car in the roundabout and walked toward him, still irritated with the way he’d spoken to me.

  He watched me with his cold eyes, his head not moving as he examined me. “We’re sleeping together tonight. If I’m going to die in a few days, we should enjoy every minute we have left.”

  I stopped in my tracks and stared at him, my expression hardening with an outburst of pain. “Don’t say that to me again.”

  “It’s the truth, Button. I won’t lie to you.”

  I tore my gaze away, feeling my eyes water.

  He continued to watch me.

  I finally moved into his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

  Like he’d been expecting it, he wrapped his powerful arms around my shoulders. He brought me close to him, brushing a kiss against my forehead.

  “If you die, I should die too.”

  “No, Button.”

  “I don’t want to live without you…I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. You’re the strongest woman I know.”

  I shook my head as I buried it in his chest.

  “I’ll do everything I possibly can to make it out of there alive, Cane and Adelina with me. I’ve made it this far, and I’ve been in worse situations. There’s probably nothing to worry about at all. But if I don’t make it back…you know I love you.”

  I nodded. “I love you too…so much.”

  Crow was in his study late that night, talking on the phone and getting things prepared. He asked me to stay in the bedroom and give him space to get everything done. If I overheard everything, it would probably just make me upset.

  Even though he intended to send me away, I wasn’t sure if I would go.

  I would just refuse until I got what I wanted.

  I understood the situation would be dangerous, but I wasn’t going to part from my only family in the world. I was far more afraid of living without them than dying. Carrying on when Crow was gone was a fate far worse—in my eyes.

  Crow walked into the bedroom after midnight, his hair messy from running his fingers through it nonstop. He carried a slender folder and placed it on the coffee table. He didn’t look at me once.

  I knew this would be a difficult conversation.

  “You’re going to Santorini with Lars.”

  “Where the hell is that?”

  “An island in Southern Greece. It’s quiet, remote. I have a house there under a different name. It can’t be traced back to me.”

  I sat on the edge of the bed, watching him with dread in my chest.

  He nodded to the folder. “All the information you need is in there. All of my assets have been consolidated into an account that only you can access. We’ll lose this house and the money I have here in Italy, but that will throw them off the scent. A new identity has been made for you. You’ll be very wealthy and never have to worry about a single thing for the rest of your life.”

  Was that supposed to make me feel better? “I don’t care about that, Crow.”

  “I do.”

  “I’d rather die with you than live in luxury without you.”

  He stared at me with a heartless gaze. “I don’t care what you want. I only care what’s best for you.”

  “What’s best for me is you.”

  “And everything will probably work out that way. But we have to prepare for the worst.” He pulled his shirt over his head then got ready for bed.

  I wanted to save Adelina, but I didn’t want to endure this. Just talking about an existence where he wasn’t around was something I couldn’t tolerate. It was far too painful. I hoped death came for me before it came for him. Or better yet, it came for us at the exact same time.

  Crow came to the bed when he saw the tears in my eyes. “Button…”

  “I’m not leaving you.”

  “You can’t stay.”

  “No.”

  He grabbed my hand.

  I yanked it away. “I’m a good shot, and I’m smart. I can help you.”

  “Cane and I both don’t want you there.”

  “You’re making him say those things.”

  “I’m not,” he said calmly. “He loves you too. Doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “Crow, please don’t do this…”

  He kissed my temple and wrapped his strong arms around me. “I’m sorry, Button. I have to do the right thing here. If I have to drug you, I will.”

  “You promised you would never do that to me again…”

  “And I promised I would alwa
ys take care of you.”

  I didn’t sleep well that night. I kept waking up from a nightmare. Horrible things came to my mind when I wished they wouldn’t. I kept losing Crow over and over again. He was taken from me, shot in the chest or in the skull.

  So when morning came, Crow went to work and I slept in. I was in bed until ten, which was the latest I’d ever slept. I woke up with a migraine and downed the water at my bedside, hoping the ache was due to dehydration.

  Lars knocked on my door. “Mrs. Barsetti?”

  I pulled on Crow’s sweatpants before I answered the door. “Yes, Lars?”

  “Just wanted to check on you. You’ve usually finished your breakfast by nine.” The sweet old man didn’t smile at me like he usually did. Instead, there was fatherly concern in his eyes.

  “I just had a bad night of sleep….”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” He lifted up a brown paper bag. “I thought I would bring this up. I’ll get breakfast started and send that up straight away. Please don’t hesitate to ask for anything else.”

  “What is this, Lars?” I opened the bag and peeked inside. There were tampons.

  “I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable. I just know it’s that time of the month, and you’re running low on these…” He blushed in discomfort and walked down the hallway, his back as straight as ever despite the awkward conversation.

  I walked back inside the bedroom and stared at the tampons, thinking about what Lars said. Whenever my period came, I was usually in agony. For a few nights, I hardly slept because the pain was so excruciating. Those were the mornings I woke late, like today. It wasn’t surprising that Lars thought it was that time of the month.

  But then I realized…it was that time of the month.

  I opened my nightstand and found my pack of pills. I counted them, making sure I took them exactly when I should have.

  They were all accounted for.

  But my period was late.

  It was really late.

  13

  Crow