Lover Page 12

  He was right. It never came up, and I never asked. “Thanks for the heads-up.”

  “My best advice is don’t make it a big deal. He doesn’t like a lot of attention.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I don’t know. Probably because his family is dead and his brother hates him. Well, he used to hate him.”

  My hand moved to my stomach. “Well, he has a family now.”

  21

  Hades

  It was loud in the club. Bass from the music vibrated from the speakers, and nearly naked ladies passed around glasses of booze.

  Damien and I sat in our private booth, leather seats with a black table. We had glasses of scotch, but various drinks were piling up from admirers. Damien accepted the glasses with a wink in their direction. But I just ignored mine.

  It was the perfect place for our conversation, because nobody could eavesdrop. It was so fucking loud. Damien kept several feet between us, treating me like he was the one who was pissed. He didn’t try to rectify our relationship. He seemed to have let it go. “Maddox is hurting. We’ve sabotaged most of his distributors, and his drugs are disappearing from the streets. It’s only a matter of time before that fucker shows his face.”

  “And I wonder how he’ll do that.”

  Damien grabbed an extra drink sitting at the end of the table. “With a normal person, I’d say he’d threaten us. But with this psychopath, he’ll probably throw you a parade or some shit. Fucking weirdo. I would assume he’s gay for you except for the fact…” He looked away, clearly embarrassed by what he’d just said. “Never mind.”

  He’d shoved his foot in his mouth, but I let it go. “You’re probably right. He’ll call me.”

  “I’ve been trying to track him down, and I think he’s in the city.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “It’s what the guys on the streets are telling me. But you never know, that information could be bullshit. With other guys, they’re pretty straightforward. But Maddox reminds me of a fucking clown. He’s always putting on a show. You never know what’s real and what’s not.”

  I couldn’t wait until he was dead.

  Damien watched a pretty girl walk by before he turned his gaze back to me. “I heard the good news.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What good news?”

  Two women approached our table. Both brunettes and both familiar. The first one on the left addressed us. “Hey, Hades.” She gave me a flirtatious wave. Her eyes shifted back to Damien. “Hey.”

  It took me a second to recognize them. We’d been on a double date before. Or a double fuck…that was more accurate. They were both nice girls, so I was nice back. “How are things?”

  “Good.” The first brunette turned her eyes back on me. “A little cold for my liking, but I’ll survive. You two look like you’re having a heated conversation. We’ll swing by later.” She winked and walked away with her friend.

  I forgot about them the second they were gone. “What good news?”

  Damien’s eyes watched them for a long time, his mind in the gutter and far away from this conversation. When they disappeared into the bathroom, he finally paid attention to me. “That the kid belongs to you.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “How did you know that?”

  Damien rested his fingers on his glass as he considered a response. “Ash told me.”

  I’d mentioned it in passing to him the other day. Since they worked together, that was plausible.

  “Well, I’m happy for you.”

  I gave a slight nod in acknowledgment. I wanted to say more, but I was still so livid with him. When hatred grew to indifference, that meant the relationship was beyond saving. Right now, I just hated him…and I couldn’t stop. I blamed him for everything.

  “You’ll be a good father.”

  “Are we done here?” I didn’t want to have these kinds of conversations anymore. It was a conversation between friends, not adversaries.

  Damien couldn’t stop the hurt from entering his face. “Only business, huh?”

  “Yes. Business only.”

  Damien looked like he was going to slam the glass down and shatter it. Rage filled his eyes, and he writhed in silence. Then he stood up abruptly, prepared to depart. “I’m done apologizing to you. I’m sorry about what happened. But you need to take responsibility for what happened too. If you really wanted to settle down and have a quiet life, you should’ve left. But you didn’t. Don’t put that shit on me.”

  I should have gone home, but Damien’s final words continued to echo in my mind. The loud music muffled my thoughts but didn’t silence them altogether. My hand was wrapped around the glass, and I stared at the contents, unsure what drink I was on. Alone, I sat in the bar like I had no one to go home to.

  When he’d walked off, I’d almost chased after him and broke his jaw. But I reminded myself he wasn’t worth my time, so I just let him go. Was there any merit to what he said? Had he been right? Was I the one to blame for what happened to my wife?

  I couldn’t carry that guilt.

  I already carried all of her pain and sadness. And with every nightmare she had, I felt that agony more and more. Once we confirmed that the baby was mine, she seemed to relax a bit, but the fact that she wouldn’t sleep with me told me that she wasn’t okay.

  Maybe she would never be okay.

  “You look miserable.” The brunette I’d seen earlier slid into the booth beside me. She had a cosmo with her, and her deep blue dress was short and very revealing for January. She gave me a gentle nudge in the arm. “You’re too hot to be miserable.”

  We’d slept together sometime in the past, but I couldn’t quite remember when. It was some time after Sofia dumped me, and I was in so much pain. I fucked everyone to forget her, but there weren’t enough beautiful women in the world to accomplish that. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, just brood in silence, so I said nothing.

  “Did you and Damien get into a fight?” She continued to sit beside me, far too close considering all the vacant seats around us.

  “No. We just aren’t friends anymore.”

  Her eyes filled with sadness. “That’s too bad. You guys are cute together.”

  “Don’t say shit like that.”

  She brushed off my insult. She looked at her glass for a while and tapped her long nails against the surface. “You want to get out of here?”

  My hand grabbed my glass, so maybe she didn’t see my wedding ring. I placed my palm on the surface so it was unmistakable. “I’m married.”

  She didn’t look at my hand. “I know.”

  I pulled my hand away, slightly offended that my status didn’t matter to her. Cheating never used to bother me. I’d bedded married women before, guilt-free. My sense of morality was nonexistent. But all of that changed when I met Sofia. “I’m not that kind of guy.”

  “Really? Then why are you sitting alone in a bar? Happily married men don’t go to bars. The ones who do are always unhappy, and they are always looking for something to make themselves feel better. You fit that description perfectly.”

  Yes, I was miserable. I’d lost my best friend, and my wife was still disturbed by what had happened to her. I didn’t know how to kill my enemy, and I hadn’t had sex in so long, I was starting to lose my mind. Without it, I felt lost. All the frustrations that bubbled under the skin couldn’t escape. My wife’s rejection wounded me, and I pretended it wasn’t a big deal so I wouldn’t look like an ass, but I was really disappointed. One of the things I loved most in my relationship with Sofia was gone.

  She moved her hand to my thigh. “Come home with me.”

  I could feel her fingers dig into my thigh, feel her hand migrate to where my dick was located. If I found release tonight, no one would ever know. It didn’t mean anything to me, just a way to cure the loneliness. The fact that I let this moment happen at all told me how lost I was. This wasn’t me. And if it was, I didn’t want it to be. I grabbed her wrist and pushed it away. “I am gonna
go home, but to my wife.”

  I never told Sofia what happened at the bar. A part of me felt like a liar and a cheater. I shouldn’t have let that moment go as far as it did. But I also knew, at the end of the day, I said no. I didn’t give in to the temptation and went home where I belonged.

  I said no. That was what mattered.

  So, I said nothing. It would make her feel insecure. It would make her feel guilty for not sleeping with me, and I didn’t want to rush her into something she wasn’t ready for. I wanted her to be with me because she wanted it, not because she was scared to lose me.

  I walked into her office and saw her sitting at her desk. Her silky hair was pulled back, revealing her beautiful face and full lips. Her green eyes were down and reading reports. She was in a sweater dress and knee-high boots.

  I stared at her for a second, feeling the guilt eat me alive. My wife was so beautiful. How could I think, even for a second, about someone else? She was pregnant with my son, and I loved her so much. I knew I’d only felt that way because it had been a rough couple of months. But I still felt so shitty.

  When she realized I was in the room, she looked up and noticed me. A smile full of sunshine appeared on her lips as she looked so thrilled to see me standing there. “Wow, it’s five already?” She gathered her papers and organized them in the drawers.

  I inched farther into the room and watched her beautiful figure as she moved to clean up her desk. Constantly being reminded how sexy she was didn’t help these desperate urges in my body.

  When she finished, she came around the desk and embraced me. Her arms moved around my shoulders and she kissed me, her soft lips moving against mine for a kiss that was full of hot breaths and a little bit of tongue.

  My hands glided over her body, feeling the deep curve in her back and the little bulge in her stomach. My hands wanted to grab her ass and squeeze, but I stayed away from particular areas. This kiss was enough to get me hot and bothered, to think about throwing her on the desk and taking her how I wanted. I couldn’t be myself, couldn’t be the man I really was. I was forced to be patient, respectful, and celibate.

  I couldn’t do this for any other woman.

  She pulled away but kept her face close to mine. “You want to go out to dinner tonight?”

  We never went anywhere. After what happened, Sofia had wanted to stay home. This was a curve ball, but after what she’d been through, I would do whatever she wanted. “Sure.”

  “What’s your favorite place?”

  “We don’t have to go where I wanna go. Where do you wanna go?”

  “I think you have good taste, so I trust you.” She leaned in and gave me another kiss on the mouth. This time, it was quick and gentle. When she looked me in the eye, there was a bright look of affection, like the way she used to look at me.

  Maybe I just needed to wait a little longer. “Then let’s go.”

  She sat across from me at the dinner table, wearing a backless cocktail dress. Her wedding ring reflected the flickering lights from the candles, and a diamond bracelet was on her other wrist. Her long hair was down and around her shoulders, and the lighting in the restaurant made her look so beautiful, she seemed fake. She held the menu open with her hands, her chin tilted down as her eyes shifted back and forth to read the entrees.

  Fuck, I’d better get laid tonight.

  This was fucking torture. She got all dressed up like a goddamn model, and that backless dress showed the sexy curves that distracted me. It was like she was trying to seduce me, trying to remind me what I was missing. If this was all just a tease, I’d probably lose my shit and blow up on her. I had to keep reminding myself what she’d been through, and I’d be a terrible person if I wasn’t understanding.

  But damn, this woman was killing me.

  Even the way she took a drink of her water was sexy. Her plump lips left red lipstick all over the glass, and I couldn’t stop picturing that same smear around my mouth, down my neck, and all over the base of my dick.

  With her eyes still on the menu, she asked, “What are you getting?”

  I wished I could order pussy. “Sirloin.”

  “I’m thinking about getting the chicken. I’d rather have pasta, but all those carbs.”

  I glanced at her small body and almost rolled my eyes. She had no idea that she was a perfect ten. No idea that she had a perky ass, a tiny waist, and nice big titties? If she needed to be reminded, she needed to let me fuck her. She wouldn’t forget how perfect she was.

  When the waitress came over to take our order, I ordered for both of us. “I’ll have the steak. Well done. My wife will have the spaghetti.” I grabbed both of the menus and handed them over.

  A slight smirk came onto her lips. “That was smooth.”

  “Order what you want.”

  “Now that I’m pregnant, it’ll be easy to gain weight.”

  “Then gain weight. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re eating for two.”

  Her smile grew. “That’s a nice thing to say. You don’t care if I get big and fat?”

  She could walk around in a burlap sack, and I would be just as attracted to her. “Not at all.”

  She stared at me for a while before she grabbed a piece of bread. “How’s work?”

  I never liked to talk about work. “I haven’t found him. But I will.”

  “I meant the bank.”

  I shrugged. “Nothing new.”

  “Nothing?”

  “I’ve been working with some offshore companies in Panama. Some of my clients are from the US, and since they own shipping companies, they need to claim those assets elsewhere. I’m also laundering their money just to make sure everything is safe.” My bank wasn’t for regular people with regular jobs. My business solely ran on corruption. But that was the only way to make money…through corruption.

  She listened to every word like she was actually interested in what I had to say. “How did you get into that line of work?”

  “I dropped out of university and made friends with the right people. I hustled to get the experience I needed, and once I qualified for my first loan, I started my own bank. One thing led to another, and that business grew.”

  “I remember my father said you were a smart and accomplished young man.”

  I wasn’t young anymore. My thirties were passing quicker than my twenties. “I wouldn’t consider myself to be smart. Just ambitious.”

  “Well, I think you’re smart. Actually, I know you’re smart.”

  The smartest thing I ever did was marry her.

  She and I talked about the Tuscan Rose and other things related to work, and I realized it was one of the first times we’d talked about normal things. It reminded me how passionate she was about the hotel and her family’s legacy. I saw the ambitious and savvy woman I’d met years ago. It reminded me why I fell in love with her in the first place. In the meantime, our dinner was served, and we ate in comfortable silence.

  I loved having dinner with her when it was just the two of us. Sofia didn’t ramble on like most women. She was comfortable with the silence like I was. That was why I hated her mother. That bitch never shut up.

  Sofia ate most of her food quickly, showing she was truly hungry. Her hormones probably kicked up her appetite, and she needed more calories to take care of two people instead of one. She clearly enjoyed her food, which was good because the last thing she needed to worry about was calories and carbs. “Have you thought about names?”

  I stared at her blankly, not understanding the question.

  “Baby names.”

  No, I hadn’t given it any thought at all. I was very happy about my son, but my mind was in the gutter lately. All I really cared about right now was getting laid. Maybe my future son would think I was insensitive, but when he became a man, he would understand. “No.”

  “Well, I have.”

  “Let’s hear it.”

  She set down her fork and abandoned her food for the moment. Now that she was talk
ing about our child, she lit up like Christmas morning. “I really like it, so don’t shoot it down right away.”

  I wasn’t picky about names, but I did want my son to have a strong and masculine name. “Alright.”

  “Since this is our firstborn and we may not have another boy…”

  No, we would have another boy.

  “What if we name him Andrew?”

  I stared at her for several seconds because I couldn’t believe what she’d just said. The suggestion practically blindsided me. I hardly identified with that name anymore. I’d been Hades for so long, my former identity was practically forgotten.

  She studied my reaction.

  When I found my words, I spoke. “Why would you want to name him that?”

  “Why wouldn’t I want to name my son after his father?”

  Her admiration for me had never been so obvious. For years, it was impossible to get her to see me as more than just a fuck buddy. I gave her everything, but she was never impressed. But now, everything felt different. It seemed like this woman adored me, respected me. She clearly trusted me, relied on me for everything. She used to be so stubborn and independent, but now she actually leaned on me. I was so speechless, and I didn’t know what to say. It made me feel like an asshole for being so frustrated by her distance in the bedroom. I’d actually let another woman touch me because I was so parched from this dry spell. I knew I was a man behaving like a man, but that was no excuse. I needed to get my shit together.

  She continued to study my gaze. “Is that okay?”

  I cleared my throat. “We can name him whatever you want.”

  “But I want you to love the name too.”

  I’d never considered being a namesake. I’d never considered myself worthy of such an honor. But I did like the idea of having a son who carried my name, who carried my legacy, who would be there for Sofia when I was gone. “Yes. I like it.”

  “Great.” A beautiful smile came onto her lips. “That was easier than I thought it was going to be.”