Desire in Lingerie: Lingerie #7 Page 11

  “This is really good. I’ve never cared for fish, but this is great.” She took small bites as she ate her dinner, sipping her wine every now and then. Her eyes were down at her food, her small mouth moving as she chewed.

  I hardly looked at what I was doing because I preferred to look at her. “Thanks. How’s the artwork coming along?”

  “You spy on me, so you tell me.” She looked up, a small smile on her lips.

  I didn’t deny it. “You have five new paintings now?”

  “Seven, including the two I have at my old apartment. Next time I see my family, I’ll hand them over so they can be sold at the winery.”

  “Maybe we should seriously consider opening a gallery for you.”

  “We aren’t doing anything. When I’m ready, I’ll open one on my own.”

  “Or you could just let your man take care of it.” I could buy a building for her, prime real estate in Milan, and I could pay to have it designed into the perfect gallery. She could live her dream and sell her paintings and not have to worry about the overhead expenses.

  “I don’t need a man to take care of me.”

  My eyes narrowed.

  “In this regard,” she added. “I want to do this on my own. I’ll save up some money for a down payment, and then I’ll go from there.”

  She was taking the hard way, and while it infuriated me, I also respected her for it. She wasn’t looking for the easy way. She wanted to do something on her own, stand on her own two feet the way she’d been raised. Instead of trying to spoon-feed her, I let it be. “I’m leaving tomorrow, and I may be gone for a while.” Since this operation was more extensive than the others, I might be gone longer than usual.

  She stopped eating, her body tensing instantly. “Where are you going?”

  “Turkey. I’ve got a mission. Shane is coming with me.”

  “Why is he coming with you?” she asked. “Is this a bigger operation than usual?”

  “A little. This guy deals with nuclear weaponry, so my job is to eliminate him. He’s selling secrets when he shouldn’t be, and it’s a threat to pretty much everyone.”

  She dropped her fork back onto her plate. “Griffin, this sounds dangerous.”

  “Obviously. I kill people for a living. What did you expect?”

  “Nothing this intense…” Her calm manner completely disappeared, and now she was just as distressed as she was the night she saw me with another woman. A thin layer of moisture covered the surface of her eyes, and her breathing had escalated almost instantly.

  “Baby, I’ll be fine.”

  She looked down at her half-eaten food, her appetite gone. She dragged her fingers across her mouth, deep in thought.

  I never would have said anything if I’d thought it was going to make her this upset. “Baby.”

  She wouldn’t look at me.

  “Baby.”

  She finally lifted her gaze to meet mine.

  “I’ve been doing this since we met. Why is it bothering you now?”

  She gave me a pissed look, like she was about to throw her dinner plate at my head. “Don’t be stupid.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “Because I love you, asshole.”

  “You’ve always loved me,” I snapped.

  “But it’s different now, and you know it.”

  Now, we were in a real relationship, the kind of relationship where we slept together every night and made love before bed. We had dinner together every night, and we shared the same space without getting tired of each other. “It’s my job, baby. I’ll be gone for a week at the most.”

  “A week?” she asked incredulously. “That’s the longest you’ve ever been gone for.”

  “I know. But I promise I’ll come back.”

  “You can’t make a promise like that, Griffin. You have no idea if you can actually keep it.”

  “I’ll keep it.” I held her gaze as I spoke. “Nothing will stop me from coming back to you.”

  My words touched her slightly, but the softness quickly wore off. “It would be one thing if you were in the military and didn’t have a choice. But you’re doing this for the money, which is ridiculous. You have more than enough money. Stop risking your life for more.”

  “There’s no such thing as too much money.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “It’s not worth more than your life.”

  “I’m not going to die.”

  “Don’t be so arrogant. You never know what’s going to happen.”

  “I know what’s going to happen because I refuse to accept any other outcome besides victory. You need to stop worrying.”

  She sighed loudly, her nostrils flaring.

  “Let it go.”

  She looked down at her plate again.

  “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  She dragged her hands down her pretty face. “You can break all your other promises, but please don’t break this one.” Her hands moved back to the table, and she looked at me with the emotion in her eyes.

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy this, enjoy watching her hurt over me. I’d never had a woman love me like this, who didn’t care about my money as much as my life. She was practically in tears, begging me to walk away from that kind of life for a simpler one with her.

  I was an asshole to enjoy her pain, but I never said I wasn’t an asshole. “I won’t.”

  I packed my bag and walked to the front door.

  All the gear we needed would be on the plane, so I didn’t need anything besides my clothes. I wore my leather jacket and my black jeans, blending in with the darkness outside the building. Once Shane and I met at the headquarters, we would take off.

  Vanessa was sitting on the couch, wearing one of my t-shirts like it might convince me to stay. She refused to acknowledge my departure, as if pretending it wasn’t happening would somehow make it easier.

  I set my bag down by the elevator and stared at her.

  She kept her arms crossed over her chest and stared at the TV, refusing to even glance my way.

  I continued to stand there, slightly amused she was taking this so hard. “You aren’t going to say anything to me?” I’d told her to stay here while I was gone since it was a lot safer than that dump she lived in. I was surprised her family let her stay there after Knuckles broke in to it, but I knew they didn’t have much of a choice because Vanessa was so stubborn.

  She continued to ignore me.

  “Fine.” I hit the button and watched the doors open. I could play this game if she wanted, but we both knew how it was going to end. I stepped inside and immediately hit the button so I could move to the bottom floor. The doors started to shut.

  “Wait.” She hopped off the couch and sprinted into the elevator, squeezing through the doors before they closed. She ran into my chest, hitting me at high speed but not hard enough to do any damage. “I’m sorry…”

  I held her against me as the elevator moved to the bottom floor, my t-shirt reaching her thighs and hanging loosely around her body. My chin rested on her head, and I felt her back rise and fall with her quick breaths. “It’s okay. I knew you weren’t going to let me leave without saying goodbye.”

  “Don’t be an asshole right now.”

  I pressed a kiss to her forehead and tried to hide my smile. “Baby, you know I’m always an asshole.”

  “Not to me.”

  The elevator reached the lobby, and the doors opened. She was in no condition to walk me to my truck, so I stayed with her inside the elevator. My hand moved to her face, and I tipped her gaze up toward me. My thumb brushed across her soft cheek, watching my woman turn weak the second she was about to lose me. That was what I’d always wanted from her, for her to need me, to be devastated when I wasn’t by her side. “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too, Griffin.”

  I kissed her on the mouth.

  She kissed me back, her kiss warm and inviting. She gripped my arms and pulled me farther into her, trying to give me a reason to st
ay.

  I wanted to stay with her always, but I had a duty to fulfill. Regardless of how much money I’d saved over the last decade, I couldn’t turn my back on the business—because that meant I’d have to turn my back on my boys.

  I would never be that pussy-whipped.

  Vanessa would have to accept my terms.

  I kissed her a little longer, loving the flesh of my woman. I loved her smell, her heat. I loved the way she kissed me with love. I loved the way her fingernails dug into me. She would do anything to get me to come back upstairs and forget about the mission altogether. I indulged myself a little longer, knowing I would miss her the most when I lay in the dark without her beside me.

  I abruptly ended the kiss and walked away, turning my back on her so I wouldn’t have to see the devastation in her eyes. I loved her affection and her desperation, but I didn’t enjoy looking at the suffering in her gaze right before I drove off. I knew she was worried about me, worried that the only man she’d ever loved wouldn’t come back to her.

  But I would come back to her—no matter what.

  Ten

  Vanessa

  The first night was the hardest.

  I was sleeping in his bed, his smell still soaked into the sheets, but his hardness was nowhere in sight. The bed was too big without him, and I found myself reaching for him in the middle of the night in the hope he was there…somewhere.

  He left a loaded pistol in the nightstand if I needed it, but he assured me I wouldn’t since he’d changed all the security measures around the building. I was sleeping in a fortress rigged with cameras and alarms.

  There was no safer place for me.

  He told me not to call him while he was gone. We never spoke when he was on his missions, either because he didn’t want to be compromised, or because he didn’t want anything to be traced back to me.

  So I would spend an entire week without seeing him or talking to him.

  That felt like a lifetime.

  I’d turned into the kind of woman I didn’t want to be…so sickly dependent on my lover that I didn’t know what to do without him. I missed him constantly, and being inside his home just reminded me he wasn’t there.

  It was pathetic.

  I’d always wanted to fall deeply in love like this…but I didn’t want to be weakened by it.

  But I was so weak.

  I made a pot of coffee and sat down to enjoy it when my phone rang.

  It was my father.

  Alarms went off in my head, and a jolt of terror exploded in my heart. I was sitting inside Bones’s place after sleeping all night in his bed. Now I’d have to speak to my father while I was doing the one thing he would despise.

  I almost didn’t answer. “Hey, how’s it going?” I tried to be upbeat and cheery despite the sadness in my heart.

  “I’m good. What about you, tesoro?”

  I looked around Bones’s dining room, the walls covered with artwork instead of pictures. He didn’t have pictures of family or friends anywhere—because he didn’t have any. I was standing in the enemy’s castle, absorbed in his surroundings. “I’m great. I’m excited for Conway to get hitched. He needs to grow up.” Teasing my brother was the best way to seem normal.

  My dad didn’t chuckle. “Your mother and I are in Milan today.”

  Shit.

  “I’m meeting a client for a few hours, and afterward, we were hoping we could get together for dinner. Are you free?”

  I loved seeing my parents every chance I got, and since they didn’t want to do anything until that evening, I had time to return to my place and pretend I was still living there. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

  “Great. We’ll pick you up at six.”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye, tesoro.”

  I headed back to my place and set up my easel so it made it seem like I was actually living there. I put a few bottles of wine in to chill along with some snacks so my fridge wouldn’t look completely empty. If my parents thought I didn’t have what I needed, they would throw money at me so fast.

  I didn’t want their money.

  They arrived at six right on the dot. My mom walked inside first, wearing tight jeans and a nice sweater. She beamed when she looked at me, like she hadn’t seen me in months instead of just a week. We were the same height even though she was twice my age, so it made it seem like she was my friend rather than my mother. “Hey, sweetheart. I love it when I see you this often. I wish it were like this all the time.”

  “Yeah…me too.” My dream to move back to Tuscany came back to me, and I wasn’t sure how that would ever be possible with Bones. He did his business out of Milan, and being that close to my family would just be dangerous.

  Mom pulled away so my father could move in next.

  My father gave me the same look every time he saw me, subtle affection mixed with pride. There was love there too, overrun by his other thoughts. “Tesoro.” He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a tight squeeze. “You look nice.”

  “Thanks, Father.”

  He kissed my forehead before he pulled away. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yep.” I grabbed my purse from the couch and pulled it over my shoulder. “Where are we going?”

  We walked outside and headed to the car at the curb.

  “Well, we were going to head to your father’s favorite place, but then we got invited over to Alessandro’s place for dinner. We told him we already had plans, but he insisted…” My mother didn’t make eye contact with me, telling me this wasn’t a coincidence.

  “Isn’t that Matteo’s father?”

  “Yeah…”

  Father walked ahead so I narrowed my eyes at her. “Please don’t tell me this was on purpose.”

  “It really wasn’t…but I know how it looks. Your father ran into him today, and one thing led to another… I’m not even sure if Matteo will be there.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You know how Italian families are. His mother wants him to settle down, like, tomorrow.”

  “True,” Mom said. “But I really didn’t do it on purpose. You know your father and I would never pull a stunt like that.”

  I believed her. When she first set me up with Matteo, she didn’t pressure me. She just put the idea on the table and let me decide what I wanted to do. Having this dinner made me feel guilty because Bones wouldn’t be happy about it, but I couldn’t tell him because I couldn’t contact him. Unless Matteo wasn’t there, but that was just wishful thinking…

  Matteo’s family lived just outside the city in a beautiful home constructed in the typical Mediterranean style. Two stories with lots of olive trees and ivy, it was a beautiful place. The stone walkway reminded me of our home in Tuscany, and the water fountain out front was lightly dripping with water.

  We walked inside and were greeted by Alessandro. He shook my father’s hand vigorously then talked a million miles an hour about his excitement for having us over for dinner. His Italian accent was thick and heavy, making his words almost impossible to understand. He kissed my mother on each cheek before he introduced his wife, an Italian woman with beautiful black hair. “This is my wife, Laura. Laura, these are the Barsettis.”

  My father kissed her on the cheek, and my mother did the same. When I came up to her next, she smiled wider than she did for anyone else. “Such a beautiful girl.” She hugged me hard, both of her palms hitting my back. “I hear you’re quite the artist.”

  From whom? Matteo or my parents? “Yes, it’s my passion.”

  “I can tell.” She pointed to the wall where one of my paintings hung. “Beautiful just like you are.”

  Reality hit me hard in the chest when I saw that painting. Something I created was actually hanging on someone’s wall, displayed proudly. Not only did someone pay for it, but they thought it was worthy enough to be on the wall of their entryway, so people could see it the second they walked in the door. “Wow…that’s a perfect place for it.” I couldn’t take my eyes off the painting,
unable to believe that my dream had really come true. My artwork was on display in someone’s house. They could have put up anything else, but they chose to showcase something I created. It was unbelievable.

  Matteo walked into the room when he heard the voices in the entryway. Tall like his father, he wore a black blazer over his black V-neck. His dark blue jeans hung low on his hips and showed his thin and toned legs. He had wide shoulders, and a hint of musculature was visible under his blazer. The hard lines of his face showed his chiseled jaw and masculine features, and his brown eyes looked like two drops of coffee. He moved to my father first and shook his hand. “Nice to see you again, sir.”

  I watched my potential suitor shake my father’s hand, and it hurt to know Bones would never do that. Even if he tried, my father wouldn’t reciprocate. Guns would be drawn, and a war would break out.

  “You too, Matteo.” My father shook his hand and gave him a slight nod.

  Matteo moved to my mother next and kissed her on each cheek. “Mrs. Barsetti, how are you?”

  “I’m well, Matteo. Thanks for asking.” She smiled before she drifted away with my father, purposely leaving us alone so we could speak in private.

  If that wasn’t my father’s way of giving his approval, I didn’t know what was.

  Matteo stood in front of me, wearing a handsome half smile. He watched me like he was amused, his head tilted slightly down so he could meet my gaze. “How are you, Vanessa?” He didn’t lean in and kiss me on each cheek the way he did with my mother. Despite our personal relationship, he touched me even less.

  Not that I minded. “I feel like this is a setup.”

  He chuckled. “I think the dinner plans were pretty organic. But my mother did call me and demand I get my ass over here even though I was still working…said you would be here. She told me to give you flowers…” He rolled his eyes. “I managed to get her to take it down a notch.”

  “Good,” I said in relief. “I’m not really a flower kind of girl.”

  “Then what kind of girl are you?” he asked.