Buttons and Pain Page 10

  She didn’t need to squeeze out every drop because I would give it to her many more times before the sun rose. I hooked my arm around her waist before I rolled her onto her back. Underneath me was exactly where I liked her. Her legs immediately wrapped around my waist and she dug her fingers into my hair. “Crow…”

  I ran my tongue along her neck and continued rocking into her. Her pussy was still tight from the orgasm that just passed, and I wanted to fill her until she was so full my come dripped out. My ass contracted with every thrust I made and I moved her slowly into the mattress, her tits shaking with every thrust. I didn’t want to fuck her hard tonight. This was perfect.

  I held my weight on top of her with my hands on either side of her head. I watched her reaction every time I moved deep inside her. Her lips always formed that distinct O like she might come all over again. Her lips were irresistible, so soft and sweet. I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her gently.

  Then everything slowed way down.

  Her hands were all over me. She touched me everywhere she could, memorizing the feel of my body. She breathed into my mouth between kisses, trying to catch her breath as the passion swept us away. She sucked my bottom lip then gave it a gentle bit, the kind that was so sexy it made my spine shiver.

  She moved her nails down the back of my neck then pressed her lips against my ear. She breathed into my canal, all the sexy sounds she made amplified and beautiful. “Crow…you feel so good.”

  My cock twitched inside her and a quiet moan escaped my throat. I’d been with a lot of amazing women, but none of them had the sexy qualities that Button had. She was sexy without even trying, and she was sexier when she did try.

  I crushed my mouth against hers and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth. I loved how full her lips felt when they were tight against mine. She belonged to me. She was mine and no one else’s. “Bite me.”

  She continued to kiss me hard, her hands digging into my hair.

  “Button, bite me.”

  She opened her eyes and looked into my eyes, her mouth still moving against mine. She grabbed my bottom lip between her teeth then bit into the skin, puncturing it until the blood came out.

  I moved my tongue into her mouth, wanting to give her all of me. I wanted her to have the very essence that kept me alive. My blood was her blood. When I left we would move on with our lives but she would still have me. She would always have me.

  The taste of my blood set her off, and she tightened around me again. Her nails dug into my skin, and this time they drew blood. She came all over my dick and moaned into my mouth, her pussy desperate for my come. “God…yes.” She panted into my mouth as her lips trembled with the pleasure.

  Fuck, I would miss this.

  “Give it to me.” Her hand moved to my ass and she pulled me further inside her. “I want all of it, Crow.”

  This woman was a sex goddess.

  I pinned her further into the mattress and deepened the angle, wanting every inch of my cock inside her before I hit my trigger. She continued to rock with me, our sweat soaking into her sheets. I could feel the explosion form far into the distance. The heat flushed through my body and I knew I was about to give her everything I had.

  She pulled my hips further into her, increasing my pace and making my balls smack against her ass. She widened her legs to allow me room and she prepared for the moment of ecstasy. She must have felt my cock tighten inside her because she said, “Oh yes…”

  I held her tightly against me as I released, wanting to treasure this high forever. The sex wasn’t just good because she was beautiful. It was amazing because we had a connection. Apart, we’d been through hell. And together, we found peace. Having to give that up made me more terrified than I’d ever been. I held her tighter to chase away the sorrow. I wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as I could before I had to say goodbye forever.

  When I pulled away her eyes were looking into mine. The passion faded for a moment as the same thoughts entered her mind. Together, we were strong and indestructible. But the moment we were apart we were equally weak. She missed me before I was gone.

  And I missed her too.

  ***

  Neither one of us slept that night. If we weren’t making love we were staring into each other’s eyes and memorizing the details to treasure on a different afternoon far into the future. I didn’t have any pictures of her because I never took the time get a photo. Stupidly, I thought she would always be right by my side.

  Her hand cupped my face and she gave me an unexpected kiss. As the hours passed she became more affectionate with me, giving me all the embraces she wouldn’t have the pleasure of giving me later. Her lips were starting to crack from becoming chapped during our nonstop make out sessions but they still tasted like honey.

  When the last hour arrived she clung to me harder, and every last wall she erected came falling down. She rested her hand over my heart and felt the beat of my heart. She used to do the same thing when we fell asleep together. The sound must soothe her.

  I waited for her to change her mind, to realize settling for most of my heart was better than losing it entirely. But the sadness only increased in her eyes and she stuck to her guns, refusing to settle for anything less than what she deserved.

  The sun had already crept into the city and pressed against the black curtains covering her bedroom window. I didn’t look at the time but I knew the minute hand was going fast. Our doom was fast approaching, and soon I’d have to walk out without looking back.

  Within the blink of an eye, my alarm went off. I had to stop by my hotel room and grab my bag before my driver picked me up and took me to the private jet waiting at the airport. The alarm continued to sound on my nightstand until I finally grabbed it and silenced it with the swipe of my thumb.

  That’s when she started to cry.

  Button had never cried like that before. She was always so strong and resilient. The only time I saw her break down was when she realized how much pain I was in over Vanessa. She wept because she understood my pain. She carried with me.

  But now she was crying for her own heartbreak.

  “Button…” I cupped her face and pressed my forehead to hers. I wanted her tears to stop but I also loved watching them. She was so cold when I came to New York but she was only trying to push me away because she was just as in love with me as she’s always been. This was just as hard for her as it was for me. “Shh…”

  She took a deep breath and silenced her tears, swallowing them down her dry throat. She sniffed before she wiped her nose, her eyes red and wet. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be.” I hated listening to a woman cry, but it was a different situation when it came to her. I kissed the corners of her eyes and absorbed her tears onto my lips, treasuring them like diamonds.

  She blinked her eyes quickly to dispel the moisture.

  I got of bed and began the painful task of dressing myself. I pulled on my boxers and jeans then pulled the shirt over my head. They were wrinkled and cold from sitting on the floor all night long. They didn’t fit the way they used to, not because they had changed, but because I had.

  She pulled on her clothes and stopped her tears completely. Her eyes were slightly red, and that was the only evidence that she had cried at all.

  We walked to the front door and faced each other.

  I wanted to ask her to come with me, but I didn’t. I knew what her answer would be.

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my chest. Nothing was sad as we held each other in front of the door. Our heartbeats measured the passing time, and slowly our connection was slipping away.

  We were out of time.

  When she pulled away her eyes were wet again. “I never got the chance to say thank you…”

  “For what?” I kidnapped her and kept her as a prisoner in my home. Instead of giving her freedom like I should have, I made her work for it. I made her sleep with me in exchange for something she already had the rig
ht to have—her freedom.

  “After what happened with Bones…I was really messed up. You put me back together, Crow. If it weren’t for you…I’d be so fucked up in the head. You made me feel strong when I pitied myself. You made me feel beautiful when I thought of myself as damaged goods. For that, I’ll always be grateful.”

  My eyes slowly started to mirror hers and I blinked to hide it. “Button…” I tried to find the words to say but my mouth was dry. She was thanking me for something that I didn’t realize I did. “You’re the strongest woman I know. You never needed me. And you don’t need any man to make you feel beautiful—because you’re the most beautiful on this earth.”

  Her bottom lip quivered.

  I couldn’t stay her for another instant. I was about to crack and spill everything onto the floor. Up until that moment I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anything but lust and violence. And now I was trying to hold back tears. When my sister died in my arms I didn’t shed a single tear. When my parents died, I didn’t feel anything. But now that I was walking away from her I was about to collapse.

  I didn’t say goodbye because the word was too harsh. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t say it. I cupped her face and gave her one final kiss. It was wet from her tears and soon it would be wet from mine. Our lips hardly moved together because we were both numb from the pain. I moved my lips to her forehead and gave one final kiss goodbye before I opened the door and walked out.

  I wanted to turn back and look at her one last time but I didn’t. I grabbed the door and shut it behind me, keeping my face averted so I wouldn’t catch a glimpse of her. I pressed my back against it and dragged my hands down my face, wiping away the tears that managed to break the surface.

  I looked down at my hands and saw the drops smeared across my skin. My fingertips rubbed together to make sure they were real. The last time I cried I was five years old and Cane burned my stuffed teddy bear. I felt so pathetic and weak that I vowed I would never allow myself to break down like that again.

  But Button broke me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Pearl

  When he was gone I returned to bed and closed my eyes. The tears began deep inside my chest, shaking my frame as they tried to get out. For the past two months I kept busy so I wouldn’t think about the man who didn’t just steal my freedom, but my heart. But now there was nothing to steady my mind from the heartbreaking truth. Crow was gone and I would never see him again.

  The tears broke the surface and dripped down my nose. They streaked down my face until they formed a large droplet and fell to the sheets below me. Crow’s scent was still all over the bed and it would take weeks before it faded away. Every time I smelled it, it was painful. But I knew the instant it was gone it would be far worse.

  Eventually, I began to sob. When he came to New York I did a fantastic job of seeming indifferent but it didn’t take long for that act to disappear. My true emotions got the best of me, and I couldn’t pretend this man wasn’t my whole world.

  Because he was.

  He wasn’t just my lover, but my closest friend in the world. Not a single person understood me the way he did. He knew exactly what I had been through, and he never allowed my past to change my future. He looked at me and saw the woman I was underneath the scars. He just saw me—Button.

  And now he was gone.

  I took a deep breath and forced the tears to stop. Sobbing into my bed wasn’t going to fix the heartache and it certainly didn’t make me feel better. If anything, it just made everything worse. I wanted him to come back just to hold me and kiss my tears away.

  I finally halted the tears and dragged my hands down my face. I wiped away every drop of moisture and returned my face cheeks to the dry surface they’d been before. My eyes still felt red and puffy, but after a hot shower they would return to normal.

  And I could move on with my life.

  I walked into the kitchen and saw the business card sitting on the counter. In black embroidery was his name and contact information. I stared at his cell phone number and tried to memorize it just to give my mind something to focus on. I would never call Crow so there was no reason to keep it, but I couldn’t throw away something he gave me. It contained a form of his essence, and to toss that aside was like throwing a piece of him away.

  I opened the kitchen drawer and dropped the card inside. His name still looked up at me, the font hinting at his profound masculinity and power. The card didn’t even explain what he did for a living, but the appearance made it clear it was something important—and dangerous.

  I shut the drawer then went back to bed. Maybe if I went to sleep I would wake up refreshed and with a new start. Maybe this would just feel like a distant bad dream that I could forget about in a few weeks. Maybe it would feel like a new beginning.

  ***

  After I got off work I went by the grocery store and picked up some groceries. Right now, the only edible things in my house were Top Ramen and stale crackers. Ordering a pizza wasn’t an option because I ordered so many over the past few weeks I was officially sick of them.

  When I approached my building I saw a tall man with greasy hair standing off to the side of the entrance. He wore a black leather jacket that didn’t look manufactured in America, and when his eyes landed on me he gave me a look blacker than coal.

  Like he knew me.

  I kept walking and pretended I didn’t notice anything suspicious. He was the kind of guy that hung out with a bad crowd. There were a lot of ruthless men in the city so it wasn’t strange to see a shady man looking conspicuous, but it did seem strange that his hostility was directed at me.

  A name popped into my head.

  I took the stairs to my floor and walked down the hallway. The paranoid set in and I kept thinking about the distinct features that man possessed. He was harder than steel and more evil than the devil. I could feel it deep inside my gut. And something told me he was there for a reason. The look he gave me was coincidental. It was full of purpose.

  Bones.

  I got my keys in the lock and opened my door. My hands were shaking and I dropped the bags of groceries onto the tile without any intention of putting them away. A small part of me was convinced I was just being paranoid. After Crow left, I was an emotional wreck. I was so depressed I couldn’t think straight. Maybe this was just a side effect of his absence.

  But what if I was wrong?

  I pulled out the business card from the drawer and grabbed my phone. If I really were in serious danger the police couldn’t help me. Bones was too deadly and powerful. With an endless supply of men and weapons, he was a tank that couldn’t be bombed. Crow was my only savior if my hunch was right.

  I typed the number into the phone but didn’t make the call. If I were wrong about the whole things Crow would come back for no reason. And if I had to say goodbye to him again I’d kill myself. That was hard enough the first time.

  “Here.” A man’s voice came from the hallway. Two pairs of footsteps accommodated him, heavy boots hitting the hardwood floor outside my apartment. “234A.”

  That was my apartment number.

  Shit.

  I hit send and placed the phone against my ear. I listened to it ring and waited for him to answer as I held my breath.

  The doorknob gently turned but stopped when it hit the lock. They were testing out the door to see if they could just walk inside and find me standing there.

  Shit.

  I grabbed the biggest knife I could find and listened to the phone ring.

  Goddammit, Crow. Answer.

  He finally came onto the line. “Crow.”

  I only had a second before I was captured so I said everything as quickly as possible. “Bones’ men are here for me. They’re about to break down the door—”

  The second they heard my frantic voice they broke down the door with their massive shoulders and entered the apartment. All enormous with guns on their hips, I was no match for any of them. I wasn’t a match for even
a single one.

  Crow’s angry voice came over the phone. “Button—”

  I dropped the phone in the sink and ran for it. I couldn’t defend myself and hold the phone at the same time no matter how much I wanted to listen to his reassurances. With the knife gripped tightly in my hand I ran around the kitchen island so there was an obstacle separating them from me.

  One man had the audacity to chuckle like this was a sick game. “Feisty, isn’t she?”

  “If you think you’re going to take me, think again.” I kept my defensive posture with my knife held at the ready.

  The leader pulled out a pistol and aimed it right at my head. “Drop the knife.”

  “No.” They wouldn’t shoot me. Bones wanted me alive. He was a sick bastard but he wasn’t into necrophilia. I was useless to him dead, and if he went through all this trouble just to find me there was no possibility he wanted me harmed—unless he did it himself. “Shoot me and see what happens.” I tightened my grip on the knife and stood at the ready. I’d stab the blades through each of their eyes if they came too close.

  When the man didn’t shoot, I knew I called his bluff. “Put down the knife and come with us or we’ll make you come with us. And believe me, there will be a lot of twisting and groping going on.”

  My nostrils flared and unspeakable rage rushed through me. I’d become used to the privilege of freedom and the respect of the men around me. Crow became a lover instead of a kidnapper, and he never did anything I refused. But now I was hurled back in time when I was regarded as a slave, forced to do unspeakable things just because Bones got hard when he looked at me. No more than livestock, I was an object without a right or opinion. Forced into submission, I had to do what I was told.

  No more of that bullshit. “Walk out the door or I’ll cut your dick off.”

  The man with the gun chuckled. “Stupid and feisty. Bad combination.” He rushed me and aimed the handle of the gun against my skull.

  I lashed out with the knife and aimed for any piece of flesh I could find. I sliced through his shirt and hit the skin underneath. Instantly, the blood pooled at the wound and soaked into his clothes. I could hear him hiss under his breath, the burn of the cut distracting him enough that the gun fell short.